Download 31 Days of Prayer for your Spouse

INTRO
Prayer is a powerful part of a Christian’s toolbox.
Scripture promises us that if we seek the Lord we will
find Him. This little prayer book is just one way to be
intentional in our prayers for our spouse. When we
pray God’s promises (His Word) over our spouse,
we can expect for Him to show up. It might not be
in the way that we planned, expected or hoped
for, but He will be present with us in our marriage.
Family Matters is very grateful to all of our guest
authors who have generously contributed to this
prayer book.
For more information about Family Matters and its
resources for families visit www.familymatters.net
day 1
“And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of
these is love.”
I Corinthians 13:13
I’ve often wondered why the Holy Spirit directed Paul to highlight love over
these two other stellar character traits. I have a feeling it has something to
do with the high cost of the love that Christ showed when he redeemed
us. At times, marital love comes at a high cost as well. The love that drew
us together can be the same love that tests all of our limits and sometimes
breaks our heart.
When we choose to have a grace filled marriage, it helps to have a clear
definition of the type of love that covers every scenario and enables us to
go the distance in spite of all that marriage can throw at us. Here you go!
You can take this definition to the bank because it’s the kind of love that
God has for his bride, the church.
“Love is the commitment of my will to your needs and best interests
regardless of the cost.” - Dr. Tim Kimmel
What’s in our spouses’ best interest may be a grace filled reminder or
reprimand. What they need may be forgiveness or a kick in the pants. Love
compels us to love them the way God loves us and that’s with grace.
Father,
Thank you that your love is limitless and powerful. When my heart is hurting or
disappointed, fill me with your love and grace. Help me to love my spouse
the way you love me.
Amen
Devotional by: Darcy Kimmel
love
day 2
“We do not want you to become lazy, but to imitate those who through faith
and patience inherit what has been promised.”
Hebrews 6:12
As years pass by, it seems to become easier and easier for married couples
to fall into a “relationship rut.” We may get used to certain habits and
routines and before we know it, we’ve developed a semi-fixed mindset
about who our spouse is and what they are capable of. What’s worse,
we may even use this mindset to judge our spouse or fail to notice and
appreciate their better qualities.
Don’t settle for a “lazy heart” towards your spouse. Ask God today for the
kind of patience in loving your spouse that He continually shows for you,
even in your weakest moments.
Dear Lord,
Please help me to see my spouse through your eyes. Please give me
a heart of patience toward them, and don’t let me become lazy and
complacent in my relationship with this precious soul you have placed in
my life. Through your strength, help me to show patience for even the sharp
edges of their personality.
Amen
Devotional by: Michelle Hutchison
patience
day 3
“So, because you are lukewarm–neither hot nor cold–I am about to spit you
out of my mouth.”
Revelation 3:16
Passion shouts in the darkness for light. She grieves so others may live. She
travels long distances at great cost to rescue one. Passion consumes our
souls when we develop a strong and barely controllable awareness of
Christ’s sacrifice for our gain. We can pray with passion for passion for
our spouse.
Living God, my soul thirsts for you in a dry and weary land, out of You springs
forth fountains of living water. Quench my thirst with your refreshment. Hear
me on behalf of my (husband/wife) my precious gift from You whom I honor
and respect. Come to (him/her) with Your Word and Spirit so that (he/she)
might enjoy Your presence and receive counsel.
Cause (him/her) to be a (man/woman) who is humble and who mourns
(his/her) sin. I ask Father that you abolish from (him/her) self-conceit and
delusion. Open (his/her) heart to receive Your righteousness. Restore (his/
her) sight to marvel at Your majesty. Show (him/her) what true riches are and
how (he/she) might gain them. Clothe (him/her) in garments of holiness. Set
(him/her) apart for Your good service. Turn (him/her) away from anything
that is not of You or for Your glory. Give (him/her) a fresh supply of Your
grace. Comfort (him/her) with Your faithfulness; still (him/her) with your love.
You alone God have the power to ignite a passion for You.
Amen
Devotional by: Edy Sutherland
passion
day 4
“The Lord rewards everyone for their righteousness and faithfulness. The Lord
delivered you into my hands today, but I would not lay a hand on the
Lord’s anointed.”
1 Samuel 26:23
These words of the future King David can teach us a lot about faithfulness
in our marriage. When we say our marriage vows, we are promising to be
faithful to our spouse through many difficult circumstances, regardless of
whether or not it feels good. David had chosen not to kill his adversary, King
Saul, even though he had the perfect opportunity. He knew that the Lord
had promised to bring him to power at the right time, and he chose to
remain faithful to the Lord, even when waiting was more than challenging.
He saw that until God said otherwise, King Saul was the Lord’s anointed.
Faithfulness in marriage implies that we will often have to choose to love
and show grace to our husband or wife, even when we don’t want to …
ESPECIALLY when we don’t want to. And unlike David and Saul, you and
your spouse aren’t adversaries! Let’s cling to the promise that the Lord’s
blessing and reward will come when we are faithful to Him and the spouse
that He has anointed for us.
Dear Lord,
Thank you for the spouse that you have chosen and anointed in my life.
Thank you for the trials as well as the joys. I pray that today you will richly
bless my spouse for the ways that they have waited for you. Help me to
always look to your promises and to trust that your word is perfect and true.
Amen
Devotional by: Karis Murray
faithfulness
day 5
“We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. It enters the
inner sanctuary behind the curtain”
Hebrews 6:19
Sometimes we enter into matrimony with all the right ingredients for success.
Godly parents with an authentic faith who provided us with a secure love,
a significant purpose, and a strong hope so sufficiently that we readily
recognized all those provisions in Christ when we encountered it – and a
spouse who experienced the same. Sometimes, our origins were less than
ideal, challenging, possibly even tragic, with relationship models that almost
ensure failure. With wounded hearts not nearly healed, we move into
marriage with high expectations of the salve we have been aching for, only
to have our partner’s own scars quickly dash that hope.
It is in scenarios such as despair over a hollow and struggling marriage,
where He loves to rescue us from what the world would call a lost cause;
to remind us that He is the maker of all things new; to redeem us for His
purpose of binding our hearts to His so that we might express His love
to others.
Today, Lord, I give thanks that You are my anchor in all storms, and I
pray that my spouse’s heart deeply knows this as well. Please banish any
misplaced hope we may have in anything or anyone but You and the
security that is Your unfailing love.
Devotional by: Sonia Cleverly
secure
day 6
“For we are God’s workmanship, Created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God
prepared in advance for us to do.”
Ephesians 2:10 (NIV)
The theme of today’s prayer for your spouse is PURPOSE. In this passage of Scripture, Paul is
writing to the Church in Ephesus (most likely from his prison cell in Rome) hoping to encourage
the believers in that city to see God’s design in their lives as well as their mission as a church.
That body of believers was once trapped in ways of the world – most of them were gentiles
and foreigners to the covenants of Israel. Paul wanted these new followers to see their new
identity in Christ as a radical part of God’s plan to share the Gospel with the whole world!
In short – Paul wanted these men & women to see that their life was – and had always been –
aimed with a PURPOSE.
Our marriages sometimes get like the church in Ephesus. We get wrapped up in the world
– we get busy, we pile expectations on each other and ourselves… we struggle with sin. But
Paul’s encouragement to the Ephesians applies today in our homes as well. As husbands &
wives, we were all once dead in our transgressions and sins, but by grace we who believed
have been saved through faith – not from ourselves, but as a gift from God! All of our good
works didn’t earn our salvation in Christ, and none of us should boast about being good
enough to sit with the King in the heavenly realms.
Today, as you pray for your spouse, remember that at a time you were separate from Christ.
Are you at peace with your Savior? Jesus is our peace, and his PURPOSE in saving you was
to create in himself a new man/woman out of you to do good works, which He prepared in
advance for us to do.
Pray today that both you and your spouse would seek first the Kingdom of God as you commit
each day to forgive each other (as Christ has forgiven you), and seek his PURPOSE in your lives.
Paul had a prayer for the Ephesians as well – it went like this:
“I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in
your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you,
being rooted and established in love may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp
how wide and long, and high and deep is the love of Christ… and to know this love that
surpasses knowledge – that you may be filled to the measure of all fullness of God. Now to
him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power
that is at work within us – to him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all
generations, for ever and ever! Amen.” (Eph 3:14-21)
Devotional by: Michael Regan
purpose
day 7
“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so
that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”
Romans 15:13
Hope disperses despair. She brings forth new beginnings, refreshed
revelations, and improved aspirations.
Apart from hope we wander disengaged from a sense of belonging. We’re
alienated from our true value. Morality becomes irrelevant. We conjure
random possibilities for our eventual destiny.
We can ask God to immerse our spouse with hope in Christ. Calvary is
the place where evil and suffering are met with the hope of love and
forgiveness.
Lord of Heaven, remember my (husband/wife). I ask of you by the name
of Jesus to open the gates of salvation fixing (his/her) eternal hope in you
alone. Let the peace of Christ rule in (his/her) heart. Guard (his/her) mind
and soul against the trappings in this world. Strengthen (him/her) according
to Your Word. Fasten (his/her) joy to the promise of Your inheritance not
earthly gain. Cause (him/her) to put (his/her) trust in the light of Christ so that
(he/she) will be called (son/daughter) of light. Create in (him/her) a broken
and contrite heart so (he/she) will not grieve the Spirit but the Spirit reign in
(him/her). Grow (him/her) in faith and knowledge attaining a fullness of the
Son of God.
Your way, O God, is holy; I put my trust in You. Amen.
Devotional by: Edy Sutherland
hope
day 8
“Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin
against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him,
“I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.”
Matthew 18:21-22
Fortunately, Jesus isn’t giving a multiplication lesson. Rather, He’s giving us
the secret to a Christ-centered marriage!
Can you think of any reason as to why you should not forgive your spouse?
Maybe it’s a harsh word or a demeaning tone of voice that keeps reeling
in your head. Is it the irresponsible spending in your finances? Perhaps
it’s the parenting disagreements that continue to escalate with teenagers.
Or maybe it’s the unthinkable…. adultery (which includes emotional affairs
and/or pornography – Matthew 5:27).
Forgiveness is at the heart of the Christ centered life because Christ first
forgave you. Forgiveness is about faith for both the offender and the
offended. If I’m unwilling to forgive, I simply do not understand the Gospel
of Jesus Christ (read the rest of the passage in Matthew 23-35). It’s only
through the tears of forgiveness and the pain of reconciliation that I reflect
the amazing grace of Christ Himself. It’s in the journey of laying down
my rights and giving up the illusion of control in my marriage that I truly
experience Christ’s Love through forgiveness.
Father, thank you for first forgiving me through your son Jesus. Please
allow me to see “the plank in my own eye” when I’m unwilling to forgive
the person I promised to love in good times and bad. Please give me
eyes to see my spouse’s repentant heart and ears to hear the sound of
reconciliation in our marriage. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Devotional by: Dustin Daniels
forgiveness
day 9
“The integrity of the upright guides them, but the unfaithful are destroyed
by their duplicity.”
Proverbs 11:3
Integrity….sound values….seems to be a dying character trait that we can
easily view the decline as we look around us in families, the neighborhood,
the community, the media, politics, and even religious circles. How easy it
must be to slip into “crookedness” when the enticement seems so fulfilling:
more money, power, sex, things – yet no sin will lead one to being truly
fulfilled – it eventually leads to one’s destruction.
Let’s pray for our spouse to be a person of integrity – praying and listening
to the Lord as the moral compass and guide for all their decisions – in the
home, on the job and in the church and community. As we pray, let’s take
notice of the “right” decisions they make and praise them for choosing the
right way. Let’s also thank the Lord for the “upright” character and honesty
they possess in a world that is constantly tugging for their attention. Praying
that our spouse would reflect Christ to our children and those around us
would allow for others to see what integrity really looks like – in a real person,
not just by definition.
Devotional by: Cindi Ferrini
honesty
day 10
“But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made
perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my
weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”
2 Corinthians 12:9
Marriage is the beautiful union of two wonderfully made, yet imperfect
people. Grace is the glue that holds it all together. Spouses see each other
at their best and at their worst. Sometimes, it’s easy to view your spouse in
light of his or her weaknesses and forget that the power of Christ rests upon
him or her. Grace is allowing your spouse to move beyond their mistakes.
In a marital relationship, grace allows them to grow and become who God
intends them to be without the chains of guilt and regret. In terms of their
walk with the Lord, grace is the gift that takes the place of the shame that
the past may hold for them.
Today, ask God to change the way you view your spouse. Pray that you
would see them, not in light of who they have been, but in light of who they
could become. Then, pray that he or she would, not just feel the power of
Christ, but that it would be stronger than the memory of their weaknesses or
past mistakes. Ask God to make your spouse overwhelmingly aware of his
grace and Christ’s power as they go about their day.
Devotional by: Stacy Edwards
grace
day 11
“As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.”
Proverbs 27:17 (NIV)
It’s quite possible that the person you married on your wedding day is not
the same person you find yourself married to now. Though you may find
yourself as part of a couple, both spouses are still engaged in their own
personal life journey. That means that over time, our interests, thoughts, and
feelings may change. Consequently, this can cause a marriage partnership
to grow stronger…or cause it to unravel.
Ask God today to help you focus on growing closer to your spouse by
appreciating those character traits that may be different from your own.
Ask for His guidance in determining what you can learn from the differences
between you and your spouse, and seek God’s wisdom in discerning how
He might be using those differences to shape your own character.
Devotional by: Michelle Hutchison
character
Ephesians 4:29
day 12
“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what
is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit
those who listen.”
Ephesians 4:29
Communication. Most people think that it is all about talking. God shows
that the listening part is what is important. One night, I was at a party and
I was talking with another guest. The other person talked almost the whole
time we were together. When she left, she told the hostess that I was so
approachable and kind. She said I was a great communicator!
When your spouse has something to share, be slow to correct or interrupt
with what you think is the better way. God created us to be unique so that
we can complement each other with our different ideas, not beg, whine, or
shout in order to get our point across.
Pray that you may continue to make listening more important than talking
in your relationship. Pray that you will be available for when your spouse
does want to share. That might mean staying up late or making a special
date on the weekend for each other. Pray that God will make you and your
spouse great communicators by being great listeners.
Devotional by: Angie Ryg
communication
day 13
“Sitting down, Jesus called the Twelve and said, “If anyone wants to be first,
he must be the very last, and the servant of all.”
Mark 9:35
As married couples we serve each other in many ways all the time. But
sometimes we are called to step out of our comfort zone and usual ways
of serving to a plan we didn’t expect. About 12 years ago I had a re-injury
to my back that landed me in bed the better part of 7 weeks. Without
complaint my husband took care of our grown son with special needs,
was working full time, helped with our daughters and their needs, cooked,
cleaned, and did the laundry. The most impressive thing?
It was without complaint.
We need to appreciate all the small acts of service along with the bigger
ones that happen from time to time….
Let’s pray for our spouse as we thank the Lord for all the ways they serve
us. Consider the many small ways your spouse serves you. List them in your
mind and give thanks for each one. And if the thoughts keep coming…
keep praying and giving thanks. If there is little you can think of for which to
give thanks, spend the next few days “looking” for ways you’ve overlooked
your spouse serving you. Then thank them verbally and the Lord in prayer.
Devotional by: Cindi Ferrini
serve
day 14
“His mouth is sweetness itself;
he is altogether lovely.
This is my beloved, this is my friend,
daughters of Jerusalem.”
Song of Solomon 5:16 NIV
His design for marriage does not lack. It is perfection. Protection, provision,
nurturing, compassion, friendship – the very elements of love – bound in
the covenant of physical connection not meant to be found in any other
relationship on earth. How often do we distort this design? It is easy to find
these individual pieces elsewhere, but our hearts will still yearn for them to
be whole in our mate. None are expendable, but we often behave as if
friendship is the one that we can forgo as long as all others are present.
Our friendships become a function of our individual selves – experienced
outside marriage. But isn’t it then that we realize that nothing makes a
marriage lonelier than when friendship is absent? Friendship is where real
intimacy is experienced – shared history, shared hurts, shared hopes.
When friendship completes the puzzle, the gift of our marriage feels
exponentially abundant!
Lord, today let me look at my partner with eyes that desire and hands and
feet that actively cultivate a deep and connected friendship. Let me hold
it above all others and always know my mate as Your beloved creation and
my beloved friend.
Devotional by: Sonia Cleverly
friendship
day 15
“May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and
by his grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope, encourage
your hearts and strengthen you in every good deed and word.”
2 Thessalonians 2:16-17 {NIV}
In moments of strife in a marriage, it’s easy to get bogged down in the
here and now. We may become frustrated by our circumstances and
get caught in a trap of negative thinking that can really destroy the bond
between a man and a wife.
Regardless of what we’re dealing with today, God has already secured
the ultimate victory for us! Ask God to reinvigorate you today with a joyful
reminder of His grace. Ask Him to help you turn that joy into life-giving words
and actions towards your spouse that will encourage both of you in times of
trouble.
Devotional by: Michelle Hutchison
encouragement
day 16
“A joyful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit dries up the bones.”
Prov. 17:22 (ESV)
This.Is.My.Biggest.Struggle. I’m a planner. I like things to go as planned.
That about says it all. On the other hand, my husband’s job (a dentist) is
a lot of pressure and requires him to be very precise, yet his feathers are
seldom ruffled. He is the calm in any storm! I am certain God gave us to
each other to balance each other out! Those of us who are “oaks” are sure
to be made into willows as the Lord molds us to be more like Him, and I do
think He has done that in me and in our marriage.
Let’s pray for our spouse (and ourselves) to seek the Lord for His direction
even if we are in the midst of making a plan. It’s important to thank the Lord
for differences in our personalities and to recognize the many reasons we
are good for each other and how God allows each of us to balance the
other. Praying for the Lord to use us for His glory even in the character traits
that we’ll probably work on for the rest of our lives is actually refreshing…
because He’s given us each other to work together…for a lifetime. Thank
you, Lord! We don’t have to “do it alone”! THAT is good medicine for joy!
Devotional by: Cindi Ferrini
attitude
day 17
“And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who
comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who
earnestly seek him.”
Hebrews 11:6
Faith is a big part of marriage. Not necessarily faith in oneself or faith in our
mate, but faith in the One who brought us together in this covenant in the
first place. I know there have been times in my marriage when the only
reason it made sense to obey God and forgive my spouse or serve my
mate was because God’s Word told me to and I have faith in the author of
that Word.
A grace filled marriage is not dependent upon our limited ability to love
our spouse. It’s dependent upon Him whose love is limitless. Faith gets us
there because faith is not wishful thinking. It’s belief in a God who can do all
things. (even change the heart of our spouse)
There are many things in a marriage that can fill our hearts with regret or
even fear. But when it comes to exercising faith in our marriage, if fear
comes knocking at our door, let faith answer and there’ll be no one there.
Father,
More than anything, I want to please you. Help me to have faith that you
love me and my spouse so much more than we can ever love each
other and that you have our best interests at heart. When I get weary,
disappointed, and even want to give up, draw me to your heart and let me
bask in your love.
Devotional by: Darcy Kimmel
faith
day 18
“The desire of the righteous ends only in good,
but the hope of the wicked only in wrath.”
Proverbs 11:23
There are two dangers when it comes to expectations. The first is that,
in marriages, we often have unrealistic ones. Maybe your mother was a
fabulous cook and you just expected your wife to be the same. Or, possibly,
your dad was DIYing it before DIY was cool and you expected your husband
to be equally handy with a hammer. When we carry these expectations
into the relationship, we set our spouses up for failure. Or, worse, we instill in
them an insecurity in their abilities to be good wives and husbands.
Secondly, expectations can crowd out grace. When we begin expecting
our spouse to fail in a certain area, we do not leave room for them to grow.
If there is an area in which they struggle, we should be covering that area
of their lives in prayer knowing God can help them to overcome it. Just
assuming they can never change or expecting them to always struggle is to
limit the power of the One who created them.
Today, pray that your marriage would be about a mutual desire to find
delight in each other instead of an expectation of what you may receive
from each other. Ask God to open your eyes to the good in your spouse
and to let go of wrongly placed expectations.
Devotional by: Stacy Edwards
expectations
day 19
“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials or
many kinds.”
James 1:2
“Are you going to get a divorce?” I hear my son ask after he just witnessed
a growth opportunity (read: argument) between my husband and me. I tell
him no and I reassure him that although there might be times that we don’t
get along, I will always love Daddy. Then I go on to tell him that when we
go through a hard time, God is teaching us something. It might be how to
communicate better or how to show love in a different way. He walks away
feeling content and secure. He has found joy in this security.
And I pray that I will always remember that truth as well. That God wants to
refine our marriage so that it is a Holy relationship that will show the love of
Jesus here on earth. Each trial will bring us closer to the feet of Jesus and a
closer walk with Him. This will bring us our ultimate joy.
Pray that your spouse will remember the eternal reason for trials and that he
or she will grow through the hard times. Pray that you might be a source of
support and a refreshing draw back to the Word of God where only true joy
can come.
Devotional by: Angie Ryg
joy
day 20
“You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he
trusts in you.”
Isaiah 26:3
Isaiah writes of a day where Judah will be in perfect peace, kept in that
sphere of peace by God. Yet he also places a condition of sorts on
that peace, stating that a trust in God is essential to God’s keeping us in
peace. For many marriages, peace is a fleeting aspect of the relationship.
Struggles with finances, parenting, in-laws, and a whole host of other
situations often encroach upon our supposed boundaries of peace.
For a married couple, trust in all situations is the key to living in peace. If
each partner can fully trust the other with money, with parenting decisions,
etc…then peace follows naturally. Each partner knows the other is never
going to make a decision without it being carefully thought through. The
trust that exists in these situations fosters incredible peace for the marriage.
Pray for your spouse today in this manner – Lord, may I be found to be an
extension of your peace. May my spouse trust me so fully that they know
I always have the best interest of them and our family at heart. Allow your
Holy Spirit to foster trust and peace between us, and to awaken needs in
our lives where we need to grow in those areas. May we be at peace with
each other, as we are at peace with You in Christ.
Devotional by: Steve Rose
peace
day 21
“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work:
If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls
and has no one to help him up! Also, if two lie down together, they will
keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be
overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not
quickly broken.”
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
Just the other day, I suffered from yet another migraine headache. Unable
to get up and make meals for my family or do the necessary chores
that needed to get done – my husband took over my role and everyone
survived just fine. I fell down and he was right there to step up and fill the
need. Although I pride myself on being an independent sort of woman, it is
so comforting to know I have a partner for raising this family, facing life and
being able to share moments in joy and sorrow. And even then, we two are
not alone in our marriage; there has been a third partner all along.
“A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” As Dr. Tim Kimmel explained
in “Grace Filled Marriage,” a marriage is like braided hair. Visually it
appears to only be two pieces, but there are actually three parts weaved
together.
Today, no matter what you face, remember that you have someone here
backing you up and ready to pick you up if you fall or keep you warm on
a cold night. Remember that Jesus is always with you, always loving you,
always watching out for you, always forgiving you. You are never alone. Pray
that your spouse feels secure in your cooperation within your marriage and
feels God’s grace weaved into it.
Devotional by: Jenny Gillespie
cooperation
day 22
“Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.”
Psalm 51:10
Have you ever noticed that even the world puts a price on purity? Virgin olive oil,
organic fruits & vegetables, pure silver & gold are just a few examples. If we want
something to be pure, there is a premium price to be paid.
Our Heavenly Father also intentionally places a premium on purity all as well. Purity in its
simplest form is defined as nothing that is mixed in. As we read the Old Testament we
see how the Jewish leaders placed an emphasis on not defiling themselves. In the New
Testament Jesus revolutionizes their traditions by telling them they are nothing but white
washed tombs (Matt 23:27)…. with only the appearance of purity because their hearts
were full of evil.
So how does your loving Father want you to be pure in today’s culture? What is being
mixed in to your life that must die? What attitudes right now are defiling your walk with the
Lord? What secret activities are contaminating your marriage? What small but disturbing
behaviors are currently corrupting your career?
It’s a profound realization when we see that God views impurity as adultery (Hosea 1:2,
4:12, 6:10, 7:4 7:13-14, 9:1, Mark 8:38, James 4:4). Yes, mixing impure thoughts and
behaviors into your Christ-centered life is that serious. Marriage reflects the covenant
Christ has made with His bride and is an exact replication of how your own marriage
reflects the purity of His covenant. Purity will always lead to the holiness of Almighty
God, but before we can take a step forward on our journey we must repent of our own
impurity. God can only create a clean heart when we are first repentant of our sin.
Father, please forgive me for putting _______________ in front of you. I have committed
spiritual adultery. I have not been pure. I have not remained faithful. But by your grace
and mercy you paid the ultimate price for my unfaithfulness. I desperately want You to
renew a right and steadfast spirit within me Lord. Your promises always remain faithful,
and now I commit my faithfulness back to You and my spouse.
Devotional by: Dustin Daniels
purity
day 23
“Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of
three strands is not quickly broken.”
Ecclesiastes 4:12
In our youth we harbor a false sense of vitality. In our comfort we rest in
a fabricated assurance of safety. In our earthly pleasures we satisfy the
temporal and sacrifice the eternal.
Only God brings assurance of triumph over the uncertainties this world
dispenses. Our covenantal bond to the ONE who saves guarantees our
vitality, our safety and pleasure through Jesus, motivated by the Spirit for
eternal communion with the Father.
Our prayers weave the union.
Oh triune God, I invite you be the lover of my soul, the rock of my salvation,
and the source of my hope. I ask for you to be the essence of my
(husband’s/wife’s) being and the source of (his/her) righteousness. Captivate
(his/her) mind to gaze upon your beauty. Fasten your wisdom to (his/her)
consciousness. Show (him/her) how to follow your teachings and hold
firm to your law.
Weave us together in divine oneness. Fortify our marital promise with You to
endure with joy trouble, hardship, persecution, hunger, or danger. We ask
that our bond be resilient and sturdy.
By the work of Your hands I sing cheerfully with praise and thanksgiving.
I pray these things by the name of Jesus to the Father in the inspiration of
the Spirit. Amen.
Devotional by: Edy Sutherland
unity
day 24
“He must become great; I must become less.”
John 3:30
God assigned husbands and wives specific roles. These roles enjoy varying
degrees of prominence, notoriety, and fulfillment. It’s critical we don’t
confuse these things with importance. After all, God uses man and woman
together – to display His image. God did not create marriage to elevate
man and subjugate woman (or vice versa). Rather, God knew that only
through marriage – equal part man and woman – could he reveal the
fullness of His image.
John the Baptist illustrated what it means to faithfully and humbly play
an assigned role. John’s disciples fretted that those he baptized in turn
baptized others. They feared John knowingly relinquished the limelight. But
John knew his role was to point others to Christ – and he did that faithfully.
John knew who was to come, and he found great joy in helping others
know Him. John put Christ first!
Lord, help me see clearly the role You’ve prepared for me in marriage.
Help me point others to You when playing my role results in praise or
accolades. Lord, protect me from discouragement when my role feels
thankless or menial. Lord, You gave the world marriage to display You – not
me. Help me radiate your image and delight in putting You first.
Devotional by: Michael Tooker
humility
day 25
“Honor everyone. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the emperor.”
1 Peter 2:17
Peter challenges his readers to bestow honor freely. This challenge is
written in a larger context in 1 Peter 2 of dealing with authority. The early
church was commanded to show their devotion to God by respecting
and honoring even the emperor who was against them. How a Christian
responds to authority tells a lot about their relationship with God.
Back in 1st Corinthians 7:1-5, Paul writes in terms of marriage, and spells out
that husband and wife do not have authority over their own body, but their
spouse does. This is language essentially stating that we cannot be selfish
with even our own bodies, but realize that giving authority over them to our
spouse is an ultimate action of honor. For the married person, however, it
cannot stop there. We cannot be selfish with anything of our own, realizing
the fullness of the “one flesh” teaching of the Bible. We respect each other
to the fullest, and honor each other when we are free with our emotions,
our love, our thoughts…with all of ourselves. We can give our spouse the
greatest respect by acknowledging there are no boundaries between us
and our spouse. Truly, what is ours is theirs, and theirs ours.
Devotional by: Steve Rose
respect
day 26
“But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peaceloving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit,
impartial and sincere.”
James 3:17 NIV
Did you enter into marriage thinking that a white dress, beautiful flowers,
and a church full of well-wishers was a magic potion for happily ever after?
I’m sorry if you did. I hope your disappointment hasn’t overwhelmed you.
I hope you find comfort in knowing you are in good company – among
others who weren’t aware that the cries of “I don’t know what to do” would
actually outnumber the confident assurances of “Everything is under
control.” Does anything besides marriage bombard us so consistently with
challenges whose stakes are so high? For better or for worse seemed like
such a sweet phrase when we uttered it, didn’t it? Marriage was custom
made to push us to our knees in dependence on a God who does have all
the answers and so desires to surround us with the peace of His sovereignty
and loving-kindness. Prayer, time in His Word, the counsel of godly friends
who speak His Truth – these are the endeavors of a marriage that actively
seeks His wisdom and can weather well seasons of confusion and anxious
unknowns.
Today we thank you, Lord, for your omnipotent wisdom so graciously shared
in response to our heartfelt petitions. Please let my marriage be one which
never fails to seek Your wisdom, first and foremost, on which we promise to
rest and rely.
Devotional by: Sonia Cleverly
wisdom
day 27
“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be
discouraged, for the Lord your God will be
with you wherever you go.”
Joshua 1:9
Driving home last night, my teenagers brought up the topic of marriage and asked how
you know which person is the right one? My wife laughed and said that when we were
first married, her girlfriends asked for her “list” of how she knew I was the right one. They
thought love was a pragmatic, logical decision similar to shopping for a new car.
I explained to my teens that Love takes courage and trust in God. We all come to
marriage with previous baggage from our upbringing and life experiences –not to
mention God is still shaping our lives daily. It takes courage to be authentic and show
others our true inner being, our dreams and our flaws. We may be rejected and
we often fear that the other person will not love us when they see who we truly are.
However, the truth is, we are all fallen and flawed.
When you choose to love another person, you put yourself in a vulnerable place
emotionally. There will be trials in every relationship. But if, out of fear, we do not risk
authentic, vulnerable relationships, it’s an even bigger tragedy! We are commanded to
love God with all our heart, soul and mind. He wants us to be strong and courageous in
our marriage to fully give our hearts to each other. But, the best part is that He promises
to be with us as we risk hurt and pain to have authentic marriage relationships.
It takes courage to be vulnerable and love another person unconditionally. The world
will tell us that love is all about ourselves, our needs, our emotions, our feelings. But
God calls us to a sacrificial love, a forgiving love and a serving love. God gave us the
ultimate example in his son Christ and His sacrifice for us. We did not deserve it and we
did not earn it but, because of love, He died for us.
Lord, I love you and trust you unconditionally. Come into my marriage and become
the center of our lives. Give me the courage to love my spouse unconditionally, just
as you love me, and strengthen my spirit to reflect your love in my marriage every day.
Help me to take my eyes off my needs and focus more on my spouse’s needs. Help
me to be more forgiving, sacrificial and serving. I know, Lord, that you will be with me
every step of the way and thank you for your example and sacrifice through your Son.
Devotional by: Lance Jacobs
courage
day 28
“Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is
God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
Let’s be honest here; life isn’t always easy.
It’s not always easy to stay joyful, it’s not always easy to trust the Lord, and it’s
definitely not always easy to be thankful in every aspect of your life.
However, where in the Bible does it say that our lives as Christians are
SUPPOSED to be easy?
Just because God gave us His only Son does not mean that He promised
us an easy life – He promised us an everlasting life. And THAT is something
to be grateful for.
Today I encourage you to write at least five things down that you are
grateful for. Big or small. Share these with your spouse, and who knows –
maybe that spouse is on that list somewhere.
Devotional by: Jenny Gillespie
gratitude
day 29
“Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for
God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.”
Hebrews 13:4
A close friend recently quit her Facebook page because she kept
checking up on her old boyfriend. She knew that was only creating a slice
of friction between her husband and herself. I applaud her choice to stay
pure. Not only in a physical way, but an emotional way as well.
The marriage bed should be kept pure – by creating an arena that is filled
with conversations of hope for the future, goals for tomorrow, and adoration
for each other. God then grows physical intimacy within these deep
relationships between a husband and a wife.
Pray for your spouse to run from temptation. Pray that boundaries will be well
marked and that sharing can come from the marriage relationship in order
to grow closer every day. Pray that God will give a desire for true intimacy to
both you and your spouse so that you may glorify Him in your relationship.
Devotional by: Angie Ryg
intimacy
day 30
“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our
weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are,
yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of
grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”
Hebrews 4:15-16 (ESV)
It’s tempting to follow culture and erect a facade of perfection – pretending
ourselves, our families and our marriages are perfect. But we’re not perfect.
No, our bodies and minds are fallen, broken and frail. We’re all vulnerable!
Fortunately God knew this when He sent His son to be with us. In Christ we
have a friend who was human and tempted like us. Jesus is intimately
familiar with us. He has compassion for us – even commiserates with us –
and all our infirmities.
In marriage we have someone to guard our weaknesses. God gave us
someone with strengths to compliment our shortcomings. Unfortunately
many couples envy each other’s strengths and exploit their partner’s
weaknesses. Christ doesn’t do this to us – and neither should we to our
spouse.
Heavenly Father, thank you for sending your son Jesus not only to save me,
but also to relate to me and understand my struggles and frailties. Help me
do the same with my spouse. Give me wisdom to know when to lean on
– even celebrate – my spouse’s strengths. Equally, give me the gentleness
and courage to use my strengths to protect my spouse where they are
weak. Thank you Lord – for the gracious and merciful gift of my spouse!
Devotional by: Michael Tooker
vulnerability
day 31
“Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet
inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary
troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So
we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen
is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”
2 Corinthians 4:16-18
A couple of years ago, I decided to run a marathon. My husband was
training and it looked like fun. (Yeah, I know.) I bought the cute running
shoes and matching shorts. I downloaded some great tunes to the iPod. I
imagined how great I was going to look and feel as I was running. I began
training in the fall and I would smile as I ran amid the colorful leaves and
warm breeze. Then, the weather began to change. It became cold and
rainy. I pulled a muscle in my back and every step shot pain through my
body. I would love to say that I pushed through and, eventually, crossed the
finish line amid a crowd of cheering fans. But, alas, that never happened.
Marriage is much the same. We begin with these visions of how things
will look. We plan the wedding. We buy the fancy clothes. We ride off into
the sunset. Then, the sun rises again and there are personality conflicts
and mortgages and does the toilet paper go over or under. Sometimes,
there are stretches when the course seems all uphill and many people
throw in the towel. If we endure, however, there are blessings beyond all
comparison.
Today, pray that your marriage would be one of endurance. Ask God to
reveal to you the beauty of a relationship that has weathered the storms of
life. Make it your goal to run in step with your spouse and cross the finish line
together.
Devotional by: Stacy Edwards
endurance
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SONIA CLEVERLY
Sonia Cleverly, M.Ed., is a wife, mother, lover of language, and passionate advocate
for families. She equally adores Shakespeare and Seinfeld, and she tiptoed back
into the work world a few years ago after spending more than a decade blissfully
immersed in the greatest job known to womankind – the stay at home mom. She
currently works in Family Ministry at Scottsdale Bible Church where she supports parents
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DUSTIN DANIELS
Pastor Dustin Daniels is the Founder of Seven Places Ministries, Inc. and a Radio Show
Host. By God’s grace, he is a redeemed sex-addict that proclaims the beauty of
God’s purity and ministers to men & families dealing with sexual sin issues.
CINDI FERRINI
Cindi is a homemaker, speaker, and author (Balancing the Active Life, Get it Together,
Tis the Season). She and her husband, Joe, authored UNEXPECTED JOURNEY: When
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children at home and one married.
ANGIE RYG
Angie has been described as the “fun sister next door.” And like a real sister, she will
make you laugh as well as encourage you to drink deeper from the well of God’s
grace. She is the author of “Clutter Free Simplicity”. Her book, which can be found
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focusing on what is really important – their daily walk with Jesus. Although she loves
connecting with women and writing on her blog at Finding Joy In Everyday MOMents,
one of Angie’s most important ministries is being a wife to her childhood sweetheart
and mama to one princess and three princes. They enjoy family movie nights, long
car trips, and acting out the TV show Chopped. Their house may be chaotic at times,
but it is full of love. You can connect with Angie on Facebook or Twitter.
STACY EDWARDS
Stacy Edwards is a trucker’s daughter and a pastor’s wife. She is a freelance writer
and a mom to four fabulous little girls. Stacy blogs at Servant’s Life where she uses her
words to point others to the hope and encouragement found in Christ.
STEVE ROSE
Steve recently authored his first book “Shouting at God”, about his father’s battle with
cancer and their family’s struggle with his illness and death. You can find out more
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MICHAEL TOOKER
Michael works closely with donors, friends, and partners of the Family Matters ministry.
Michael has been married since 1996 and has two boys. He and his wife enjoy the
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JENNY GILLESPIE
Jenny is a wife, mother, graphic designer and a beginning blogger. She can usually
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Lance is a husband, father to two teenagers, Founder and Vision Caster of Legacy
Dad Ministries and Guest Speaker for Family Matters. Lance works in Family, Youth
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of Defense. Lance provides a full time “taxi service” to his teenagers and their friends
while supporting their school activities, sports, youth groups, extracurriculars and social
lives. Lance occasionally gets away on work release to take his wife on a date or go
on a mission trip.