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Chapter Three Understanding Your Communication Style Chapter Preview: Understanding Your Communication Style • Style bias and its effect on interpersonal relations • Benefits of understanding communication styles • Elements of communication style model • Identifying preferred style • Style flexing Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved. 3|2 Communication Style • Communication style—patterns of behavior that others can observe • Understanding your style…. – achieve greater self-awareness – develop more effective interpersonal relations – greater sensitivity to and tolerance for others’ styles – essential for managing key relationships self others member of a group Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved. 3|3 Fundamental Concepts • Individual differences exist and are important – i.e., gestures, assertiveness, expression – each person has unique style – identify by careful observation • Differences tend to be stable – Jung’s Psychological Types – born with disposition that is exercised and developed over least preferred preferences Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved. 3|4 Fundamental Concepts • Four basic styles – Intuitor, thinker, feeler, and sensor – Similar characteristics within style • Style is a way of thinking and behaving – Not an ability – Is a preferred way of using abilities or style Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved. 3|5 Fundamental Concepts • Productive relationships are developed by being in sync with others – Important advantage when understanding others’ – Adapting is style flexing Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved. 3|6 Communication Style Bias • A common form of prejudice • More likely when styles differ • What can you do? – Develop an awareness of your own style – Learn to assess the style of others – Learn to adapt your own style to theirs – “Speaking the other person’s language” is essential for relationship skills Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved. 3|7 Total Person Insight Everyone has had the experience of saying or doing something that was perfectly acceptable to a friend or coworker and then being surprised when the same behavior irritated someone else. David W. Merrill and Roger H. Reid Personal Styles and Effective Performance Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved. 3|8 Communication Style Model • Two important dimensions of style: – Dominance – Sociability • Dominance – The tendency to display a “take-charge” attitude – an important dimension in interpersonal relationships • Everyone falls somewhere on the dominance continuum Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved. 3|9 The Dominance Continuum Figure 3.1 Dominance Continuum • more cooperative • give advice freely • eager to assist others • initiate demands • less assertive • more assertive • more willingly controlled • seek control Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved. 3 | 10 Determining Your Preferred Style • Identify yourself on the dominance continuum • Ask four or five people who know you well to identify you on the continuum • No best place to be • Successful people can be found on all points • Both ends are necessary and important at times Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved. 3 | 11 Figure 3.2 Dominance Indicator Form Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved. 3 | 12 Figure 3.2 Dominance Indicator Form (continued) Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved. 3 | 13 Figure 3.2 Dominance Indicator Form (continued) Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved. 3 | 14 Flexibility Is Important • Low on dominance – more assertive temporarily to achieve an objective – learn to be responsive without giving up convictions • High on dominance – curb strong opinions and limit demands to establish cooperative relationships Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved. 3 | 15 The Sociability Continuum • Sociability is a tendency to seek and enjoy social relationships – measures if you control or express feelings • Determining your preferred style – Identify yourself on the dominance continuum – Identify yourself on the sociability continuum – Ask four or five people who know you well to identify you on the continua Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved. 3 | 16 Figure 3.3 - Sociability Continuum • expresses feelings • open and talkative • enjoys personal associations • controls feelings • more reserved and formal in relationships Source: Gerald L Manning and Barry Reece, Selling Today: Creating Customer Value, Ninth Edition, Copyright © 2004. Adapted by permission of Prentice-HallInc., Upper Saddle River, NJ. Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved. 3 | 17 Figure 3.4 - Sociability Indicator Form Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved. 3 | 18 Figure 3.4 - Sociability Indicator Form (continued) Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved. 3 | 19 Figure 3.4 - Sociability Indicator Form (continued) Source: Gerald L Manning and Barry Reece, Selling Today: Creating Customer Value, Ninth Edition, Copyright © 2004. Adapted by permission of Prentice-Hall Inc., Upper Saddle River, NJ Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved. 3 | 20 Where Should You Be? • No best place to be • Successful people are everywhere along the sociability continuum • Flexibility is important • Low sociability – may need to be more expressive to avoid perception of indifference or unconcerned • High sociability – may need to curb exuberance if more formal environment is required Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved. 3 | 21 Communication Styles Model • The model represents four communication styles: – emotive – reflective director supportive • Two factors: – dominance sociability • Model will help identify your most preferred style Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved. 3 | 22 Figure 3.5 - When the dominance and sociability dimensions are combined, the framework for communication style classification is established. Source: Gerald L Manning and Barry Reece, Selling Today: Creating Customer Value, Ninth Edition, Copyright © 2004. Adapted by permission of Prentice-Hall Inc., Upper Saddle River, NJ. Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved. 3 | 23 Figure 3.6 - The emotive style combines high sociability and high dominance. Source: Gerald L Manning and Barry Reece, Selling Today: Creating Customer Value, Ninth Edition, Copyright © 2004. Adapted by permission of Prentice-Hall Inc., Upper Saddle River, NJ. Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved. 3 | 24 Emotive Style • Displays spontaneous, uninhibited behavior • Displays the personality dimension described as extroversion • Possesses a natural persuasiveness Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved. 3 | 25 Figure 3.7 - The director style combines high dominance and low sociability. Source: Gerald L Manning and Barry Reece, Selling Today: Creating Customer Value, Ninth Edition, Copyright © 2004. Adapted by permission of Prentice-Hall Inc., Upper Saddle River, NJ. Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved. 3 | 26 Director Style • Projects a serious attitude • Expresses strong opinions • May project indifference Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved. 3 | 27 Figure 3.8 - The reflective style combines low dominance and low sociability. Source: Gerald L Manning and Barry Reece, Selling Today: Creating Customer Value, Ninth Edition, Copyright © 2004. Adapted by permission of Prentice-Hall Inc., Upper Saddle River, NJ. Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved. 3 | 28 Reflective Style • Expresses opinions in a formal, deliberate manner • Seems preoccupied • Prefers orderliness Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved. 3 | 29 Figure 3.9 - The supportive style combines low dominance and high sociability. Source: Gerald L Manning and Barry Reece, Selling Today: Creating Customer Value, Ninth Edition, Copyright © 2004. Adapted by permission of Prentice-Hall Inc., Upper Saddle River, NJ. Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved. 3 | 30 Supportive Style • Listens attentively • Avoids the use of power • Makes and expresses decisions in a thoughtful, deliberate manner Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved. 3 | 31 Identify Yourself? • Nobody conforms completely to one style • Only one dimension of a personality • Only deals with behaviors that others can observe • May be able to identify the style least like yourself Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved. 3 | 32 Variation Within Your Communication Style • • • • Preferred styles vary in intensity Zones radiate outward from the center These dimensions are intensity zones Boundary between zones are not a permanent barrier • People use "style flexing" Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved. 3 | 33 Figure 3.10 - Communication Style Intensity Zones Source: Gerald L Manning and Barry Reece, Selling Today: Creating Customer Value, Ninth Edition, Copyright © 2004. Adapted by permission of Prentice-Hall Inc., Upper Saddle River, NJ. Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved. 3 | 34 Variation Within Your Communication Style • Zone I – Display behaviors with less intensity – May be difficult to identify the style – Not be as obvious in their gestures, tone of voice, speech patterns, or emotional expressions • Zone 2 – Display behaviors with greater intensity – Can sometimes observe behavior change when upset or angry Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved. 3 | 35 Variation Within Your Communication Style • Excess Zone – Characterized by intensity and rigidity – Can also be labeled the "danger" zone – Often inflexible and lacks versatility • Extreme intensity in any quadrant can interfere with good human relations • People may move into the excess zone when stressed, threatened, or insecure Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved. 3 | 36 Table 3.1 - Behaviors Displayed in the Excess Zone Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved. 3 | 37 Tips on Style Identification of Others • Focus on observable behavior – The best clues are nonverbal: • Gestures, posture, facial expressions, and speech patterns • Determine where the person falls on the sociability and dominance continuums – This is a process, do not rush to identify – Different situations will bring out different behaviors Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved. 3 | 38 Versatility: The Third Dimension • Versatility means acting in ways that gain a social endorsement – Makes others feel comfortable – Is independent of style • Style flexing – Deliberate attempt to change or alter style to meet the needs of another person – Temporary effort to act in harmony with other communication styles Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved. 3 | 39 Total Person Insight The best way to break a habit is to establish another habit. For example, if you’re a constant talker, stop talking. Work at it. Kimberly Alyn and Bob Phillips Authors, Annoying People Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved. 3 | 40 Strategies for Adapting Your Style • Identify the style of the other person • Think of ways to flex your style to gain a social endorsement • Several style adaptation strategies Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved. 3 | 41 Flexing to an Emotive Style • Take time to build a social as well as a business relationship • Display interest in a person’s ideas, interests, and experiences • Do not place too much emphasis on details • Maintain a fast and spontaneous pace Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved. 3 | 42 Flexing to a Director Style • Be specific, brief, and to the point • Present the facts logically and be prepared to provide specific answers • Maintain fast and decisive pace • Project strength and confidence • Messages should be short and to the point Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved. 3 | 43 Flexing to a Reflective Style • Be well organized • Be straightforward and direct • Be accurate and realistic when presenting information • Messages should be detailed and precise • Speak slowly and systematically Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved. 3 | 44 Flexing to a Supportive Style • Show a sincere interest • Identify areas of common interests • Draw out other’s personal goals and views • Listen and be responsive • Do not be pushy • Put priority on relationship building Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved. 3 | 45 Style Flexing: Pitfalls and Possibilities • If sincere and honest, style flexing can: – help build constructive relationships – be a valuable, productive strategy – be especially critical when something important is at stake • Do not label others – classify strengths and preferences, not people • Do not let your own label become rigid Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved. 3 | 46 Strength/Weakness Paradox • There is no best communication style – each has unique strong points • People have problems when they overextend the strengths of their style • Customizing your style can require learning to overcome your strengths Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved. 3 | 47 Chapter Review • Style bias and its effect on interpersonal relations – Communication styles are patterns of behaviors that are observable to others – Way of responding to people and events – Bias is likely to surface when someone's style is distinctly different from your own Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved. 3 | 48 Chapter Review • Benefits of understanding communication styles – Knowing your style will help you achieve greater self-awareness and develop more effective interpersonal relations with others – Accurate self-knowledge is the starting point for effectiveness at work Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved. 3 | 49 Chapter Review Summary • The communication style model is formed by two dimensions dominance and sociability • Four communication Styles – Emotive – Director – Reflective – Supportive Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved. 3 | 50 Chapter Review Summary • Identifying your preferred style – Rate yourself on each scale (dominance and sociability) – Ask others to complete these forms for you • Style flexing – A third dimension—versatility – You can adjust your own style to others – Keep an open mind about others – Don’t typecast or judge Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved. 3 | 51