Download Happiness in Marriage

Happiness in Marriage
Basic Presuppositions
• The Bible is inspired 2 Timothy 3:16-17
2 Timothy 3:16-17
“All Scripture is given by inspiration of
God, and is profitable for doctrine, for
reproof, for correction, for instruction
in righteousness, that the man of God
may be complete, thoroughly equipped
for every good work. ”
Basic Presuppositions
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The Bible is inspired 2 Timothy 3:16-17
It is useful for how to live right
It is the only guide for our lives
Man’s needs are universal Eccl. 1:8-9
Ecclesiastes 1:8-9
“All things are full of labor;
Man cannot express it.
The eye is not satisfied with seeing,
Nor the ear filled with hearing.
“That which has been is what will be,
That which is done is what will be done,
And there is nothing new under the sun.”
Basic Presuppositions
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2 Timothy 3:16-17
The Bible is inspired
It is the only guide for our lives
Man’s needs are universal Eccl. 1:8-9
The Bible’s principles are universal
The Bible is relevant for all 2 Peter 1:3
2 Peter 1:2-3
“Grace and peace be multiplied to you
in the knowledge of God and of Jesus
our Lord, as His divine power has
given to us all things that pertain to life
and godliness, through the knowledge
of Him who called us by glory and
virtue,”
Basic Presuppositions
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2 Timothy 3:16-17
The Bible is inspired
It is the only guide for our lives
Man’s needs are universal Eccl. 1:8-9
The Bible’s principles are universal
The Bible is relevant for all 2 Peter 1:3
The Bible is a success manual for life
“Unless the Lord builds the
house…”
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Psalm 127
We can let the Lord build or
We can build without the Lord
God is the architect
Obeying Christ is the foundation
Matthew 7:24-27
Matthew 7:24-27
"Therefore whoever hears these sayings of
Mine, and does them, I will liken him to a
wise man who built his house on the rock:
and the rain descended, the floods came,
and the winds blew and beat on that house;
and it did not fall, for it was founded on the
rock. But everyone who hears these sayings
of Mine, and does not do them, will be like a
foolish man who built his house on the sand:
and the rain descended, the floods came,
and the winds blew and beat on that house;
and it fell. And great was its fall."
“Unless the Lord builds the
house…”
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Psalm 127
We can let the Lord build or
We can build without the Lord
God is the architect
Obeying Christ is the foundation
Matthew 7:24-27
When we respect His principles…
We have a stable home
God Wants Us to Be Happy
• God intends for us to please our
spouses 1 Corinthians 7:25-35
1 Corinthians 7:32-34
“But I want you to be without care. He who is
unmarried cares for the things of the Lord -how he may please the Lord. But he who is
married cares about the things of the world -how he may please his wife. There is a
difference between a wife and a virgin. The
unmarried woman cares about the things of
the Lord, that she may be holy both in body
and in spirit. But she who is married cares
about the things of the world -- how she may
please her husband.”
God Wants Us to be Happy
• God intends for us to please our
spouses 1 Corinthians 7:25-35
• However, happiness is not the primary
goal of marriage
• Isaiah 43:7
Isaiah 43:7
“Everyone who is called by My name,
whom I have created for My glory; I
have formed him, yes, I have made
him."
God Wants Us to be Happy
• God intends for us to please our
spouses 1 Corinthians 7:25-35
• However, happiness is not the primary
goal of marriage
• Isaiah 43:7
• We are created for God’s glory
• This is why we are made differently
• Consider how we were made differently
God’s Plan
Genesis 2:18-24
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Not good to be alone
God’s intention v.18
To make a suitable helper
God prepares Adam v.19-20
God puts Adam to sleep v.21
Adam has no input on the kind of
person to make
God’s Plan
Genesis 2:18-24
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God makes the woman v.21
The woman is made from Adam’s rib
He is incomplete without her
God did not make another man
God presents the woman to Adam v.22
Adam’s reaction: JOY! v.23
God’s Plan
Genesis 2:24
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Leave father and mother
Cleave to his wife
Only one woman
Two become one
Physically but also spiritually
1 + 1 = 1 in the spiritual realm
It is this process that glorifies God
Overcoming differences
Gen. 1:26-27
• “’Let Us (plural) make man (singular) in
Our image…let them (plural) have
dominion…’”
• “So God (plural) created man (singular)
in His own (singular) image… male and
female He created them (plural)”
• Unity in plurality
• How do we achieve happiness in
marriage?
Unhappiness in Marriage
1. Lack of communication
• Disappointment because of unmet
expectations
• Because expectations were not
expressed or not expressed clearly
2. Inappropriate communication
• An unbiblical reaction to unbiblical
failure to behave biblically
• Two wrongs don’t make a right
Unhappiness in Marriage
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Proverbs 15:1 says, “A soft answer
turns away wrath, but a harsh word
stirs up anger.”
3. Pride
An unwillingness to listen to the other
Efforts to shift blame, justify self
Refusals to apologize
Refusals to forgive
Unhappiness in Marriage
4. A failure to fulfill responsibilities and roles
• Because roles are not defined clearly
• Because assumptions are made about the
other’s role without communication and
agreement in advance
• The Bible clearly defines the roles
• On matters of judgment, men must determine
how to fulfill those within the framework of
the Bible
Keys to Communication
• Remember women are not men
• Remember men are not women
• Different perspective and concerns, thought
process, emotions, intuition, even language
• James 1:19 A willingness to listen (attitude),
not talking, not even hearing, is the key to
communication
“Be swift to hear (seek to understand), slow to
speak, slow to anger”
Keys to Communication
1 Peter 3:1-7
• A loving trust 1 Peter 3:6, Prov. 31:11
1 Peter 3:1-7
“Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own
husbands, that even if some do not obey the word,
they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of
their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct
accompanied by fear. Do not let your adornment be
merely outward - arranging the hair, wearing gold, or
putting on fine apparel - rather let it be the hidden
person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of
a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in
the sight of God. For in this manner, in former times,
the holy women who trusted in God also adorned
themselves, being submissive to their own
husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him
lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and
are not afraid with any terror.”
Proverbs 31:11-12
“The heart of her husband safely trusts
her; so he will have no lack of gain. She
does him good and not evil all the days
of her life.”
Do nothing to violate that trust, such as:
Broken promises, lying, physical or
verbal abuse, pattern of selfishness
Keys to Communication
1 Peter 3:1-7
• A loving trust 1 Peter 3:6, Prov. 31:11
• A trusting love 1 Cor. 13:4-7
1 Corinthians 13:4-7
“Love suffers long and is kind; love
does not envy; love does not parade
itself, is not puffed up; does not behave
rudely, does not seek its own, is not
provoked, thinks no evil; does not
rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the
truth; bears all things, believes all
things, hopes all things, endures all
things. Love never fails.”
Keys to Communication
1 Peter 3:1-7
• A loving trust 1 Peter 3:6, Prov. 31:11
• A trusting love 1 Cor. 13:4-7
• Quietness (not silence is spiritually
beautiful and precious to God
• Proverbs 19:13-14, 21:9,19
Proverbs 19:13-14
“A foolish son is the ruin of his father,
and the contentions of a wife are a
continual dripping.
“Houses and riches are an inheritance
from fathers, but a prudent wife is from
the LORD.”
Proverbs 21:19
“Better to dwell in the wilderness, than
with a contentious and angry woman”
Keys to Communication
1 Peter 3:1-7
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A loving trust 1 Peter 3:6, Proverbs 31:11
A trusting love 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
It is spiritually beautiful to be quiet
Proverbs 19:13-14, 21:9,19
Influence without talking
Don’t give in to fear and seek control
Communicate respect to your husbands
Keys to Communication
1 Peter 3:1-7
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A loving trust 1 Peter 3:6, Proverbs 31:11
A trusting love 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
It is spiritually beautiful to be quiet
Proverbs 19:13-14, 21:9,19
Influence without talking
Don’t give in to fear and seek control
Communicate respect to your husbands
Husbands, live with your wives with
understanding and honor Proverbs 31:28-29
Proverbs 31:28-30
“Her children rise up and call her
blessed;
Her husband also, and he praises her:
‘Many daughters have done well,
But you excel them all.’
Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing,
But a woman who fears the LORD, she
shall be praised.”
Ephesians 5:21-33
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Husbands
Love sacrificially and unilaterally
Communicate your love to your wife
Demonstrate your love
Wives
Submit in all things
Demonstrate respect to your husband
Giving up self to be one with another
Christ and the church
• He gave Himself for us 1 John 3:16
1 John 3:16
“By this we know love, because He laid
down His life for us.”
Christ and the church
• He gave Himself for us 1 John 3:16
• He tells us of His love Ephesians 5:26
Ephesians 5:25-27
“Husbands, love your wives, just as
Christ also loved the church and gave
Himself for her, that He might sanctify
and cleanse her with the washing of
water by the word,”
Romans 10:17
“So then faith comes by hearing, and
hearing by the word of Christ.”
Christ and the church
• He gave Himself for us 1 John 3:16
• He tells us of His love Ephesians 5:26
• We believe in His love 1 John 4:16
1 John 4:16-18
• “And we have known and believed the love
that God has for us. God is love, and he who
abides in love abides in God, and God in him.
Love has been perfected among us in this:
that we may have boldness in the day of
judgment; because as He is, so are we in this
world. There is no fear in love; but perfect
love casts out fear, because fear involves
torment. But he who fears has not been
made perfect in love. We love Him because
He first loved us”
Christ and the church
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He gave Himself for us 1 John 3:16
He tells us of His love Ephesians 5:26
We believe in His love 1 John 4:16
We give up self (repentance) Acts 2:38
Acts 2:38
"Repent, and let every one of you be
baptized in the name of Jesus Christ
for the remission of sins; and you shall
receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.”
Christ and the church
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He gave Himself for us 1 John 3:16
He tells us of His love Ephesians 5:26
We believe in His love 1 John 4:16
We give up self (repentance) Acts 2:38
We submit to Him (baptism) Acts 2:38
Christ and the church
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He gave Himself for us 1 John 3:16
He tells us of His love Ephesians 5:26
We believe in His love 1 John 4:16
We give up self (repentance) Acts 2:38
We submit to Him (baptism) Acts 2:38
We experience His love 1 John 4:16-18
Ephesians 1:3
Ephesians 1:3
“Blessed be the God and Father of our
Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us
with every spiritual blessing in the
heavenly places in Christ,”
• Receive Christ by submitting to His
commands to believe in Him, repent ,
and be baptized into Christ for
forgiveness of sin