Download Peak to Peak Writer`s Handbook

PEAK
TO
PEAK
Writer’s Handbook
by Kristie Letter, M.A.
Peak to Peak Charter School
800 Merlin Drive
Lafayette, Colorado 80026
Revised 6/10
Peak to Peak Writer’s Handbook
Writing Stages Checklist
Ideas (how to persevere in getting the best argument on paper)
3 Levels of Questions and Information
Annotating the Question/Prompt
Prewriting Strategies
Generating Ideas
Content (using integrity to create compelling support)
Thesis Statements
Persuasive Techniques & Logical Fallacies
Textual Evidence
Avoiding Plagiarism
Revision
Organization (making your ideas progress clearly and logically)
Paragraphing
Organizing the Paper
Introductions
Conclusions
Quick-n-Easy Five-Paragraph Essay Outline
Language / Word Choices (selecting exciting and respectful words)
Figurative Language
Descriptive Techniques
Using Fair and Accurate Language
Voice (the honest presentation of personality in writing)
Tone / Tone Vocabulary
SOAPSTone
Understanding Audience
Sentence Fluency (making your writing flow like a bubbling brook)
Transitions
Using Conjunctions
Sentence Analyzer
Conventions (writing truly excellent and correct sentences – grammar!)
Parts of Speech Review
Complete Sentences
Possessives
Commonly Confused Words
Underlining and Quotation Marks
Pronouns and Antecedents
Presentation and Appendix
How to Format a Paper
Readability Graph
Ratiocination
Linking Verb Song
6 Traits Rubrics
Citing Sources
Parenthetical Citations
Bibliography
…3
…4
… 5-6
… 7-9
… 10
… 10
… 11
… 12
… 13
… 13
… 13
… 14
… 15
… 16-18
… 19
… 19
… 20
… 20
… 21
… 22
… 22
… 23
… 24
… 25
… 26-27
… 26
… 28
… 29
… 29
… 30
… 31
… 32
… 33
… 33
… 34
… 35
… 35
… 36
… 36
… 37
… 38-39
… 40
… 41-48
… 49-56
… 57-59
… 60
2
WRITING STAGES CHECKLIST

 Annotate the question or prompt to be sure that you clearly understand what kind of writing
and thinking you need to do.
 Brainstorm, allowing yourself to freewrite ideas without worrying about your spelling,
organization, or paragraphing.
 Use a graphic organizer to gather and organize your best ideas from the brainstorming.
 Develop an effective thesis that directly relates to the question/ prompt.
 Jot notes on the topic sentences (i.e. paragraphs you will develop) that will best support your
thesis. Use a line diagram if you wish.
 Make a note of what kind of voice (i.e. what tone) you want to use in this piece of writing.
Write this description at the top of your rough draft pages.
 Write a rough draft.
 Take a break from working on your rough draft (preferably at least 24 hours)
 Reflection: preferably use a peer response and self-reflection to edit your rough draft.
Take your own notes and the questions posed by peer to decide how to strengthen your paper.
 Use the Sentence Analyzer to check your syntax, making sure that you have variety and
sophistication in your sentences.
 Go through to make sure that your language choices reflect the tone you choose, that your
descriptions show instead of tell (with precise adjectives) and that active verbs appear in all
of your sentences.
 Take a break from your writing (preferably at least 24 hours.)
 After incorporating all revisions and reflections, type or write your final draft.
 Proofread final draft for errors
 After your teacher gives you feedback on your final draft, reflect on your writing and jot
down notes on how you feel about this writing assignment, and goals for your next writing
project. These reflections and goals will help shape your future writing.
For more information, see Writers Inc.
3
Ideas
(gather great thoughts using the pre-writing strategies
that lead writers to excellence)
I believe that strong imagination imagines the truth, sees
a vision of the truth. A good strong imagination doesn’t
go off into some wild fantasy of nowhere. It goes to the
truth.
--Maxine Hong Kingston
 Annotate (i.e. make notes, underline important words) the prompt or question
to be sure that you understand how to consider the task and respond
appropriately.
 Brainstorm and let your ideas flow freely before you begin any kind of formal
writing
 Gather and focus rough ideas generated in brainstorming by using strategies
and graphic organizers (Venn diagrams, webs, clustering, listing, timelines.).
 Collect relevant information, as needed, to help develop your ideas.
4
THE THREE LEVELS OF QUESTIONING and INFORMATION
LEVEL ONE: What does the text say?
This type of question and information focuses on exactly what the text says.
 Who are the characters? What is the setting? What color is the horse?
Bloom’s Taxonomy key words: observe, recall, list, define, tell, identify, label, collect,
name. Level One questions ask for information that can be found right in the text.
LEVEL TWO: What does the text mean?
This type of question and information goes beyond what the text says to ask why and how.
 Why do the characters do what they do? How does the setting set the tone for the story?
Bloom’s Taxonomy key words: predict, discuss, distinguish, estimate, analyze, explain,
infe. Level Two questions are based on the text, but the answers requiring thinking about and
analysis of the text.
LEVEL THREE: What are the universal implications or themes?
This type of question and information touches upon universal themes, inspired by the text but
not directly in the text.
 How does conflict shape someone’s character? Does love at first sight exist?
Bloom’s Taxonomy key words: connect, separate, synthesize, relate, create, compare –
Level Three prompts will always move beyond the text to broader significance.
Learning the Three Levels of questions provides a key tool in asking questions,
understanding texts, and in writing papers. Although Level One information provides the basic
support, any close reading or argument must move beyond the literal. Instead of “What does the
text state?”, the interpretive Level Two asks, “Why and how does the text state this?” Figuring
out the level of information ensures that writing will move beyond just retelling (“Here is what
happens in chapter two”) into close reading and analysis (“Here are the important connections
and themes.”) Level Three analysis moves past the text to broader implications and themes.
5
Take the classic nursery rhyme “Jack and Jill:”
Jack and Jill went up the hill
To fetch a pail of water
Jack fell down and broke his crown
And Jill came tumbling after.
Level One Questions: (just the facts – you can point to the answer in the text)
Who went up the hill? What were they going to fetch there? What is a “crown” (this one needs
a dictionary, but is still Level One information)? What happens to Jill?
Level Two Questions: (analysis, close reading)
What made Jack fall? Why did Jill fall after him?
Level Three Questions: (significance, themes, broader implications – move beyond text)
Why is fresh water so important to human survival? How do nursery rhymes create gender
stereotypes?
Level One questions have answers “Right There” – found in the text.
Level Two questions ask you to think about something in the text.
Level Three questions exist outside of the text, and ask you to think big.
6
ANNOTATING THE QUESTION/PROMPT
To get started generating ideas about and responses to a question/prompt, whether the prompt
asks writers to compose a certain autobiographical story or to analyze a historical period, begin
by focusing on the question.
To annotate: make notes, jot down thoughts, underline, rewrite and otherwise mark up the
actual question or assignment to be utterly and completely sure that the writer understands what
kind of writing and content should be produced.
HOW TO ANNOTATE
Annotating means focusing on the prompt and making marks documenting your attempts to
understand the questions. Writers cannot annotate “in your head” without making notes,
underlining etc.
Sample question/prompt for writing:
Analyze Harriet Tubman’s perseverance in Ann Petry’s
biography. Describe her challenges and how she overcomes
them. What lessons can we learn from her life?

Step one: Define and/or clarify the words in the question. If writers do not know the
meaning of the word “perseverance” or need to clarify what “analyze” asks, they need to use
a dictionary to determine these definitions.

Step two: Underline the key instructions, and number them. Most questions have multiple
tasks, and writers don’t want to skip one of the instructions (here the prompt asks a writer to
analyze (1) Tubman’s perseverance, describe (2) both her challenges and how she overcame
them and conclude (3) with lessons from Tubman’s life.

Step three: Rewrite the action steps beneath the question. Abbreviate and reword as
appropriate.

Step four: Identify the level of the questions in the prompt. If the prompt asks for Level
Two analysis, writers cannot rely solely on Level One plot summary!
The main reason students lose points on standardized tests
(AP’s, TCAP’s, SAT’s) is that they do not respond to all
aspects of the question posed. Annotation keeps this
oversight from happening!
7
Sample Annotation of a writing prompt:
Analyze Harriet Tubman’s perseverance in Ann Petry’s
biography. Describe her challenges and how she overcomes
them. What lessons can we learn from her life?
Important Words in Questions, Assignments and Writing Prompts:
(with suggestions for prewriting forms to begin generating ideas)
Analyze or Evaluate: Go beyond Level One information (definitions) to discuss meaning.
Evaluate the merit, weigh evidence and discuss implications of this meaning. Use persuasive
techniques and textual evidence.
 Line diagrams and Cause/Effect organizers provide excellent prewriting strategies.
Compare and/or Contrast: Look for qualities or characteristics that two things share and/or
ways that they differ. Emphasize areas of overlap, but without oversimplifying. Explain why
these two things have this relationship.
 Venn Diagrams are a great prewriting strategy for comparison.
Criticize: Judge the merit or truth of the views or factors. Give the results of your analysis of
these factors. Address both sides of the issue to avoid oversimplification.
 A Pro/Con is a perfect prewriting strategy.
Define: Give concise, clear and authoritative (i.e. based in solid evidence or documentation)
meanings. Don’t give details, but do mention the difference between the things you are defining
and other commonly confused items, periods or problems.
 Webs and Definition Diagrams offer wonderful prewriting strategies.
Describe, List or Enumerate: Recount, characterize, sketch, or relate in a sequence, outline or
story form. Pay attention to the proper order of events or information.
 The 5-W’s chart helps harmonize description in prewriting. Process diagrams help writers
collect details for enumerating
Diagram or illustrate: Use drawing, charts, plans or another kind of graphic answer. Be sure to
label the diagram, clearing explaining both the information presented and the implications.
8
Interpret or discuss: Translate, give examples of, say what this subject means. Usually the
interpretive question wants a writer to give a judgment and do evaluation as well.
 Webs work well as a prewriting strategy for interpretations
Justify or Prove: Give reasons for decisions or conclusions, taking pains to be convincing using
the proper persuasive techniques. Use clear compelling evidence.
Outline: Organize a description under main points and subordinate points, omitting minor
details and stressing the arrangement of things.
 A line diagram provides lovely organization for an outline.
Summarize: Give the main points or most important aspects in condensed form, like the
summary of a chapter, omitting details and specific examples.
Trace: In narrative form describe the progress, development or events starting at their beginning
and progressing in a chronological fashion.
 A timeline provides a terrific prewriting strategy for tracing.
Level One Question Words:
define, describe, identify, label, list, match, name, outline, state
Level Two Question Words:
apply, analyze, categorize, combine, compare, contrast, demonstrate, diagram, explain, justify,
illustrate, interpret, modify, organize, relate, select, solve
Level Three Questions:
Rather than certain words, this type of question asks for readers to move beyond the text and
show universal themes, implications or messages.
For more information, see Writers Inc.
9
PREWRITING STRATEGIES: GATHERING INFORMATION
Not even the most adept writers can sit down and begin to write a final copy without prewriting.
In order to have compelling and well-developed final products, writers must first use prewriting
strategies to collect, prioritize and organize information. This information works much like the
recipe for baking a cake: writers need to have the ingredients and combine them in the proper
order.
Step One: Annotate the question (What’s being asked?)
Step Two: Brainstorm (What is the appropriate response?)
Step Three: Use a graphic organizer (Writers Inc. describes many graphic organizers and how
to use them) to gather and order the information generated in the brainstorming process. (What
order best conveys information?)
Step Four: Use other sources if appropriate (texts, interviews, research) to gather more
information. (What supports this information?)
Step Five: Develop the Thesis (What is the main argument?)
For more information, see Writers Inc.
GENERATING IDEAS
After annotating and understanding what the question or prompt asks, writers need to tap into
their amazing and unique ideas. Start by freewriting or brainstorming.
The Rules for Brainstorming:
Don’t Use Any Rules When Brainstorming
Writers must stop themselves from following all of the usual grammar and organization rules in
writing. Just let it out! Do not lift pencils up from the paper and don’t worry about repetition,
word choice, spelling or “dumb ideas.” The writing process has many steps and never happens in
just one sitting.
In the inspiring words of British writer Samuel Johnson:
“What is written without effort is in general
read without pleasure.”
For more information, see Writers Inc.
10
Content
(backing up great ideas with solid information)
It is wiser to find out than to suppose.
--Mark Twain
 Use Level Two and Level Three analysis.
 Provide persuasive support for a Level Two thesis in your body paragraphs.
 Avoid imprecision and overstatement.
 Use persuasive techniques.
 Find textual evidence (Level One) to support your thesis.
 Document your sources and support to avoid plagiarism (See pages 36-39 for
help with citing sources.)
11
THESIS STATEMENTS
At the end of the first paragraph of an essay, writers need a thesis statement to present the
argument, topic and scope of the paper. A thesis statement can never just be Level One
information (a factual statement), but must move to a Level Two analysis (going deeper into
questions and importance.)
The formula (according to Writers Inc.):
a specific subject
+ a specific condition, feeling or stance
_____________________________
= an effective thesis statement
This formula requires that writers focus what they want to say. A weak thesis that needs to be
improved can benefit from this recipe. For example:
Bullying is bad.
What kind of bullying? Bad in what way? What does the writer propose to do about bullying?
This thesis presents a general topic but no specific details on what the paper will argue. With the
thesis recipe, this topic can be expanded.
a specific subject bullying in secondary schools
+ a specific condition, feeling or stance bystanders can eliminate bullying
_____________________________
= an effective thesis statement
The commitment of bystanders can eliminate verbal bullying in secondary schools
by taking power away from bullies.
Truly effective thesis statements combine two elements: a well-articulated subject and a wellarticulated stance. A thesis statement essentially becomes the topic sentence for an entire paper,
and needs to contain the scope of what the paper will cover. The thesis needs to focus on the
specific argument because an essay can never cover all the aspects of a vague Level Three topic
(“Survival demands perseverance”). Instead, a focused thesis will provide the actual parameters
in the writing (“In Island of the Blue Dolphins, Karana’s perseverance ensures her survival.”)
The difference between a thesis statement and a topic sentence:


A thesis statement presents the argument and scope of the entire paper.
A topic sentence presents the focus of a paragraph.
For more information, see Writers Inc.
12
PERSUASIVE TECHNIQUES
The best way to support an opinion or to be persuasive requires the use of not just logic but also
evidence. Textual evidence provides essential support for academic writing. If writers want to
persuade a reader that Henry VII ruled badly, they must refer to specific examples. To be
persuasive, writers must back up Level Two and Level Three assertions (opinions and
interpretations) with Level One evidence (i.e. facts found in your textbook, the novel, the
internet, etc.), and writers must also shape arguments carefully with persuasive techniques.
Always cite sources (tell the reader where the writer found the information) for
direct quotes and information not only to be persuasive, but to avoid plagiarism,
a serious ethical infraction where a writer claims someone else’s words as his or
her own. See pages 36-39 for help with citing sources.
Top Five Persuasive Techniques:
 Use specific evidence as support
 Know the intended audience, and address appropriately
 Make predictions based on the evidence
 Make concessions as necessary
 Anticipate the opposition
For more information, see Writers Inc.
Anticipating the Opposition
One of the most effective persuasive techniques is to think like the
opponent. What would someone with the opposing point of view say?
How can you address these opposing points in your argument?

“I know you worry for my safety, but I promise to wear a helmet.”
LOGICAL FALLACIES
Logical fallacies occur when the logic of an argument lacks support or goes too far with its points.
Avoid these murky logic pitfalls:
 Circular Thinking
She enjoys her work because her work gives her enjoyment. (the statement says the same thing
twice rather than providing any evidence)
 Either/Or thinking
If we do not elect my uncle, the county will completely fall apart! (other options exist)
 Testimonial
Michael Jordan really loves this energy drink. (does not mean anyone else will)
 Oversimplification
We just need to eat an apple a day and no one will ever get a cold again. (goes too far)
To prove a point and convince a reader, a writer needs fact-based evidence and logical
arguments. Sometimes even wonderful arguments (“vegetables improve health”) will not
convince if the writer overstates the point (“Eating vegetables will cure everything.”)
Watch out for words such as “all,” “every,” “never,” “always,” “best,” and “worst;” These words
make arguments nearly impossible to prove and weaken the writer’s credibility.
13
REVISION
Just as important as great planning and careful writing, revision requires a writer to return to a
piece of writing and make it more effective.
Revision Tips:
 Set the paper aside for a day or two if possible, in order to return with a fresh perspective.
 Have someone else (a peer or a parent) read the essay and articulate what questions he or she
has that the paper does not answer.
 Check each topic sentence against the thesis, to be sure that every topic sentence directly
addresses the argument presented in the thesis.
 Check that each body paragraph stays focused.
 Read the paper out loud to hear how the words sound and to discover written errors.
 Put the writing through the Sentence Analyzer to improve sentence fluency.
 Analyze the paper using the Six Traits of Writing Rubric, to see which aspects need
improvement.
Sample Response Questions (for a peer or parent): These questions do not ask someone else to
rewrite or “fix” a piece of writing; instead they ask an unbiased reader to articulate what he or
she understands or doesn’t understand (i.e. What does the paper effectively conveys?) The
writer must decide how to use this information for revision.

What questions do you have that the paper didn’t answer? List at least two.

What is the purpose of this paper?

How does the writer grab your attention in the beginning? How could the writer grab even
more of your attention?

Does this paper ever seem to stray from the original topic?

What is your favorite word or phrase in this paper. Why?

Is there a word that the writer repeats too many times? What is it?

Do any words seem to be misspelled? Circle them.

Do any parts that sound confusing? Put a wavy line beneath any confusing words, phrases or
sentences.

How does the conclusion suggest the broader relevance of this argument (in other words,
why this argument is important)?
For more information, see Writers Inc.
14
Organization
(maximizing clarity of writing by putting thoughts in logical order)
As many arrows, loosed several ways, come to one
mark…so may a thousand actions, once afoot, end in one
purpose.
--William Shakespeare
 Start with a clear beginning that intrigues readers and draws them into the
piece of writing.
 Compose a clear, specific thesis (usually the last sentence in the first
paragraph) that states the subject and takes a stand.
 Order ideas so that they flow logically from one to another.
 Use transitions help the reader understand and see the relationship between
separate elements in the writing.
 Focus paragraphs with topic sentences that support the thesis and present the
scope of the particular paragraph.
 Include a clear conclusion that sums up the argument, and suggests the further
relevance of the topic.
15
PARAGRAPHING
The paragraph creates a unit of organization for writing, keeping ideas together and in a logical
order. These clusters of information unify around one main point, expressed in the topic
sentence, and all sentences in the paragraph should relate to this point.
Reasons for beginning a new paragraph:
1. A shift to a new idea
2. Change in speakers (in a dialogue)
3. An important change in time or setting
A well-fleshed paragraph usually needs a minimum of five sentences to address a topic
adequately, although longer paragraphs (especially ones that incorporate textual evidence) offer
more depth. The exception to this general five-sentence rule is always dialogue (which requires a
new paragraph for each new speaker even if the “paragraphs” are only a few words long.)
Parts of a Paragraph
Topic Sentence (the label on the box describing its contents):
Presents the topic or argument that all the information in the paragraph
will address. In essays, the topic sentences relate back to the thesis (which
is the topic sentence for an entire paper rather than just a paragraph.)
Body Sentences (the things inside the box):
Provide the details and specifics in support of the topic sentence. These
sentences can analyze, interpret and explain. Textual evidence belongs in
the body sentences of paragraphs, as further proof in support of the topic.
Body sentences must match the “label” of the topic sentence.
Conclusion Sentence (the tape holding the box together):
Brings the paragraph to a close with final information to keep readers
engaged with the paragraph’s subject and to link it with the topic of the
next paragraph. This sentence may also suggest the importance or
implication of the information presented in the paragraph.
Paragraphs often begin with grabbers, sentences that grab readers’ attention, or transitions,
sentences that build bridges with other ideas in a paper. These sentences often use interjections,
quotes, fascinating detail or intriguing questions to capture interest.
For more information, see Writers Inc.
16
Figure A provides a visual example of paragraph structure.
Figure A:
paragraph organization
A
optional grabber or transition
1
topic sentence – the label on the box explaining
exactly what will be found inside
2
specific detail/example 1
3
specific detail/example 2
4
specific detail/example 3
5
conclusion - bringing ideas together, summing
up and making transition to next paragraph
How can this paragraph structure work to organize ideas? Look at the paragraph in Figure B.
below (which ironically happens to be about paragraphs) and observe how the separate sentences
fit into the categories described in Figure A.
Figure B:
paragraph organization
A
How does a paragraph grow?
1
Writing a well-structured paragraph requires
the logical organization of ideas.
2
Initially, the readers need to know the focus of
what they will read.
3
Then readers need specific details to support
those ideas presented in the topic sentence.
17
4
Finally, the conclusion ties together the ideas
and suggests their importance.
5
Ultimately writers can convey their thoughts
effectively and change the world by allowing
well-organized ideas to grow into wellstructured paragraphs!
Use Figure C to help structure paragraphs
Figure C:
paragraph organization
A
grabber
1
topic sentence
2
specific detail/example 1
3
specific detail/example 2
4
specific detail/example 3
5
conclusion
Practice writing paragraphs with more than five sentences, but make sure that all the sentences
stay on topic. Remember to incorporate textual evidence in the body sentences of paragraphs.
Always end paragraphs with your own thoughts and analysis.
18
ORGANIZING A PAPER OR ESSAY
Basic structure:
1. Introductory Paragraph (grabber, introduction of topic, and specific thesis)
2. Body Paragraphs (topic sentences relating to thesis, details/ explanations and conclusions)
3. Conclusion Paragraph (specific conclusion, emphasis, and broader implications)
Introductory Paragraph:
This paragraph introduces readers to the essay, sets up expectations and grabs readers’ attention.
Grabbers (or interesting ways to begin an essay that will engage readers in the topic) Grabbers
are often Level Three information.
 Provocative questions (“Can one person’s good deeds change the world?”) Don’t overuse this
one!
 An interesting story about the subject (“A teenager recently started an organization to collect
used books for children in her town.”)
 Present a significant fact or statistic (“Each week, over a million teenagers volunteer their
time to help improve the world.”)
 Use a quotation from an expert or on the subject matter (“William Shakespeare states in The
Merchant of Venice, ‘How far that little candle throws his beams! So shines a good deed in a
naughty world.’”)
 Define an important term (“Volunteering means contributing time and energy to a cause
without getting paid for these efforts.”) Avoid dictionary definitions.
After grabbing readers’ attention, the introductory paragraph should lead into the thesis statement
with an explanation of the text, historical period or issue that the paper will present. These
explanations set readers up for the specific argument at the end of the introductory paragraph:
the thesis statement.
Introductory paragraphs move from general to specific.
---Grabber, generally fascinating point or question
(often Level Three)
---introductory explanations/facts
(Level One)
---Specific thesis presenting the focus and argument of the paper
(Level Two)
19
Body paragraphs:
These paragraphs follow the typical paragraph structure, with the topic sentences all articulating
and proving one aspect of the thesis. The number of body paragraphs in a paper or essay will
vary based on the assignment length and how many you need to prove your points.
Conclusion:
The first sentence of a conclusion refers back to your thesis with a specific recap of your
argument. The next sentences examine the further implications of your topic or argument.
Conclusion paragraphs move from specific to general:
---Specific conclusion of thesis (Level Two)
--- Final thoughts on subject
---Broader implications, final food for thought
(Level Three)
Quick-n-Easy Outline for Five Paragraph Essay:
Paragraph One (Intro):
Grabber
Introduction of Subject
Specific Thesis
Paragraph Two-Four (Body):
Topic Sentence #1
Detail
Detail
Detail
Conclusion Sentence
Paragraph Five (Conclusion):
Specific Conclusion
Parting Thoughts and Broader Implications
20
Language/Word Choices
(DICTION --finding the perfect, precise words and expressions to
convey thoughts)
Words! Mere words! How terrible they were! How
clear, and vivid and cruel! One could not escape
from them. And yet what a subtle magic there was in
them. They seemed to be able to give a plastic form
to formless things, and to have a music of their own
as sweet as that of viol or lute. Mere words! Was
there anything so real as words?
--Oscar Wilde
 Employ literary techniques such as figurative language, allusion, and
rhetorical questions to make language more descriptive and interesting.
 Avoid clichés, trite expressions and vague words.
 Describe topics as precisely as possible.
 Vary your words rather than relying on the same ones throughout a piece of
writing.
 Show your readers exactly what something looks like, smells like or means
rather than just telling them that something is “pretty,” “sweet” or
“important.”
 Paint a picture with words.
21
FIGURATIVE LANGUAGE
Figurative language moves beyond literal meanings to make interesting new connections. By
using and understanding figurative language, writers can broaden descriptive possibility.
Types of figurative language
Hyperbole: exaggeration used for emphasis
I have read that book a million times!
Metaphor: comparing two unlike things without using “like” or “as”
She is a flame, brightly illuminating any room.
Personification: giving human qualities to an inanimate object
The sun smiled down on all the delighted children.
Simile: comparing two unlike things using “like” or “as”
Andrew runs like a cheetah, swiftly and accurately.
OTHER DESCRIPTIVE TECHNIQUES
Alliteration: beginning several words with the same sound.
Quickly, the student quieted the koala.
Allusion: making a reference to a mythological, literary or historical person, place or thing.
He became the class Shakespeare, penning great comedies for all to enjoy.
Foreshadowing: using hints or clues in a narrative to suggest future action.
Flashback: a scene that interrupts the flow of events to retell a previous event.
Onomatopoeia: using words that mimic the sounds they describe.
“Aieee!” the dog howled when the buzzing bee stung his paw.
Oxymoron: a form of paradox that combines two words with opposite meanings into one
expression.
A loud silence descended on the room after Julie ate the last jumbo shrimp.
Paradox: a seemingly contradictory remark that is actually meaningful.
“Water, water everywhere and not a drop to drink.” Samuel Taylor Coleridge
(this paradox works because the sailors cannot drink the surrounding seawater.)
Repetition: deliberately using any language element more than once - words, phrases,
sentences,or grammatical patterns.
Rhetorical Question: a question posed that the writer actually does not want answered.
How much longer should we stand by and do nothing?
For more information, see Writers Inc.
22
USING FAIR and ACCURATE LANGUAGE
In order to express clear intent and not disrespect anyone, writers must use fair language.
GENDER: Express equality
Words such as “mankind” imply that the writer only refers to men; use “people” to be inclusive
of both genders. In writing about occupation, certain gendered terms imply that only a male (or
female) person could hold that job. By using gender-neutral terms, writers express equality and
accuracy. Other gender issues in writing include assumptions on the basis of gender (that
dentists must be men), or derogatory terms (chick, babe, stud) that do not have a place in
academic writing.
Instead of a potentially unfair term…..
policeman
lady doctor
mailman
stewardess
chairman
mankind
Use the preferred term…..
police officer
doctor
mail carrier, postal worker
flight attendant
chair, presiding officer
humankind, humans, people
ETHNICITY AND SEXUALITY: Show acceptance and inclusiveness
Always avoid using “gay” as a negative adjective: this usage not only expresses disrespect but
also violates BVSD’s policies. Always avoid ethnic slurs (even in “jokes”), which also violate
BVSD’s policies. When appropriate use the most precise ethnic category (i.e. Sioux, Inuit,
Chinese, Tibetan, Nigerian.)
Instead of a potentially unfair term…..
colored, Afro-American
Oriental
Use the preferred term…..
black, African-American
Asian American, Asian
DISABLILITY AND IMPAIRMENT: Put people first
People with various conditions should not be described as if their conditions define them: (the
retarded, epileptics.) Instead, describe them as people who happen to have a condition. Always
avoid using “retarded” as a negative adjective: this usage not only expresses disrespect but also
violates BVSD’s policies.
Instead of a potentially unfair term…..
the retarded
quadriplegics
handicapped
deaf
blind
Use the preferred term…..
people with mental retardation
people who are quadriplegic
disabled
hearing impaired
visually impaired
For more information, see Writers Inc.
23
Voice
(how a work presents a consistent TONE appropriate for its purposes)
Give me the right word and the right accent and I
will move the world.
Joseph Conrad
 Know your audience and write using language and tone appropriate for this
audience; using the SOAPSTone analyzer in this section helps clarify this
information.
 Write an adjective to describe the tone and voice you want on the top of your
rough draft; look at this adjective while writing to create a voice consistent
with your intent.
 Give your writing personality—let some of yourself shine!
 Make sure your tone fits your purpose and will effectively address the subject
matter.
 Read your work out loud and see how the language sounds; make the words
sound natural.
 Check that your tone remains consistent throughout a work of writing, rather
than switching mid-paper.
24
TONE
Tone is the speaker or author’s attitude toward the subject. To miss the tone is often to miss the
meaning of a work. A dog owner who scratches her pet’s ears and affectionately says, “You are
the ugliest beast on the planet” does not actually intend insult to her dear dog.
Tone Vocabulary: This list of fabulous adjectives that can help writers describe the tone of a
work being analyzed, or a tone the writer would like to effect in his or her own writing. If you
want to do well on the SAT’s – be sure to define all the tone words below.
afraid
angry
bitter
boring
dreamy
happy
hollow
joyful
proud
sharp
silly
sweet
tired
upset
vexed
cold
dramatic
confused
sad
childish
urgent
joking
poignant
mocking
restrained
polite
detached
loving
formal
aloof
somber
objective
complimentary
provocative
sympathetic
giddy
peaceful
sentimental
comforting
conniving
audacious
forlorn
condescending
frivolous
mournful
sarcastic
contemptuous
malicious
horrific
pitiful
nostalgic
zealous
irreverent
idactic
apologetic
questioning
benevolent
candid
humorous
seductive
Analyzing the tone of a piece of text and establishing a tone in writing establishes meaning.
Look at the sentences below. In both, the speakers utter the exact same words. The textual
clues about the tone however, show that these “hat” statements have nearly opposite meanings.
“I love that hat,” she said thinking of the last time her mother wore it.
 The tone of her comment is serious and thoughtful, as she waxes nostalgic about the last time
her mother wore this particular hat.
“I love that hat,” the bully said with a sneer.
 The tone of this comment - same exact words - determines its meaning. This bully does not
reminisce or give a compliment; instead the bully speaks sarcastically with malicious intent.
Exercise: Just to test out tone, try saying the exact same sentence (“I like your hat” will work)
with different tones from the tone vocabulary. How does the tone change what this sentence
means and how it sounds? If you find yourself unsure about a certain word’s meaning then use
your resources and look it up!
25
SOAPSTone
In order to write effectively about a text (anything from a political cartoon to a fairy tale), writers
must have a strategy for understanding and discussing the text. SOAPSTone provides a great
place to start. In order to achieve a consistent and engaging voice, writers need to articulate their
own SOAPSTone information.
Speaker
Occasion
Audience
Purpose
Subject
Tone

Who is the Speaker (perspective)?
The speaker is the voice that tells the story. The speaker is not the same as the author! Robert
Browning wrote several “Madhouse Cell” poems with crazy, often murderous narrators, while
remaining perfectly sane himself. You might decide to write a story from your cat’s perspective.

What is the Occasion (context)?
The occasion is the environment that produced a piece of writing, the time and the place. Was
this piece commissioned by an editor? Did the Civil War rage while the author wrote? What
context produced this piece of writing?

Who is the Audience (group of readers/listeners)?
The audience is the group of readers to whom the speaker (again – not the writer) directs the
piece. How would writing be different if directed to a friend versus directed to a senator? What
particular group of people is this piece attempting to convince or entertain?

What is the Purpose (intended message)?
The purpose is the reason behind the text. What does the speaker want the audience to think or
do as a result of reading the text? What is the intended message? What is the theme?

What is the Subject (topic and content)?
The subject is the topic and content of a piece of writing. Is this text about eating green eggs
and ham, or about a small engine chugging up a hill?

What is the Tone (attitude)?
The tone is the attitude of the author, the way the writer uses voice. Does the speaker use
sarcasm or deep sorrow to convey these thoughts?
26
As a reading strategy, SOAPSTone helps writers understand the separate elements of a piece of
writing.
Anu’s Birthday Party
Anu wants all of her nearest and dearest
friends to help celebrate her birthday this
Saturday! Instead of a present, please bring a
can of food to donate to the local food bank.
Dress in your best Hawaiian shirt and be
prepared to dance the hula and the limbo!
We can’t wait to see you on Saturday!
Time: 3-6
Place: Anu’s house
Consider the birthday invitation above. Performing a SOAPStone analysis will help in
understanding what this mysterious document means.
Speaker: Anu and her parents
Occasion: Anu’s birthday
Audience: Anu’s close friends
Purpose: To inform Anu’s friends about her birthday, what to wear and what to bring.
Subject: The party on Saturday
Tone: Exuberant and Affectionate
As a writing strategy, SOAPSTone will help writers determine the effect of their own writing, as
well as helping readers determine meaning in the writing. Consider how differently these two
writings “about birds” by the same author will turn out based on the SOAPSTone analysis.
Writing #1 “about birds”
Speaker: A concerned thirteen year-old citizen
Occasion: Upcoming vote on protected wetlands
Audience: State senator
Purpose: To convince senator to vote to protect the habitat of local wetland birds.
Subject: How much local wetland birds need a protected area for their survival.
Tone: Formal, Urgent and Persuasive
Writing #2 “about birds”
Speaker: A fictional young inventor
Occasion: Anniversary of the Wright brothers’ flight
Audience: A fictional group of 19th century folks who would be awed by airplanes
Purpose: To encourage townsfolk to purchase new “birdsuits”
Subject: The astonishing invention of a feather-covered cape that helps humans fly
Tone: Humorous, Light-hearted and Sarcastic
27
Sentence Fluency
(otherwise known as SYNTAX, or how the sentences flow)
Time and time again, I am filled up with all that I
thought life might be—glorious moment upon
glorious moment of contentment and joy and love
running into each other and forming an
extraordinary chain: a hymn sung in rounds.
Jamaica Kincaid
 Vary the length of sentences.
 Use transition words both to lead readers from one thought to another and to
avoid repetitive sentence beginnings.
 Replace linking verbs and passive voice in writing with strong action verbs.
 Combine short, choppy sentences into longer, more elegant ones.
 Read your work out loud to see how it sounds, and to ensure that its rhythms
sound appropriate.
 Have a peer or parent read your work out loud to you in order to listen more
objectively to the sound of your writing.
For more information, see “sentence” in the index of Writers Inc.
28
TRANSITION WORDS
To make writing more effective and to help sentences flow smoothly, use transition words. These
words signal connections, and help readers link ideas. Using transition words will necessarily
add variety to sentence beginnings and improve sentence fluency.
To show additional thoughts
 also, another, besides, further, furthermore, in addition, moreover, next
To give examples
 especially, for example, for instance, in fact, in other words, specifically
To compare
 also, correspondingly, equally, similarly, likewise
To contrast
 although, but, however, even though, in contrast, on the other hand, otherwise, still, whereas,
yet
To show time
 after, as, before, next, once, during, later, finally, initially, meanwhile, then, when, while,
immediately
To show place or direction
 above, below, beyond, nearby, (most prepositions provide great transitions)
To indicate cause and effect
 accordingly, as a result, consequently, for this reason, hence, if, since, so, therefore, thus
To summarize or conclude
 all in all, as a result, consequently, therefore, finally, now, overall, ultimately
CONJUNCTIONS FOR TRANSITIONS
FANBOYS: useful coordinating conjunctions to make compound sentences with internal
transitions
For, And, Nor, But, Or, Yet, So
Spectacular Subordinating Conjunctions: useful joining words that make complex sentences
with internal transitions
although, because, when, while, wherever, since, unless, whenever
YUCKY TRANSITION WORDS TO AVOID:
These particular transition words do not offer specific or interesting connections.
 First, second, third (etc.!), in conclusion (this one is just too obvious), to sum up
For more information, see Writers Inc.
29
SENTENCE ANALYZER
Put paragraphs through the sentence analyzer below when your ideas, content, and organization
seem strong. This form helps writers evaluate the smoothness and flow of writing. Adjust
sentences until the questions at the bottom of each column can be answered “Yes.”
Sentence
Number
Number of
Words
Sentence
Beginnings
Count the
number of
words in each
sentence.
List the first four
words of each
sentence.
Are the
sentences of
various lengths
(with at least one
longer than 10
words?)
Do the opening
words contain variety
and appropriate
transition words?
Special Features
Verbs
Note any literary
techniques
used (types of figurative
language, repetition,
allusion, alliteration,
etc.)
List the verbs in
each sentence
(some may have
more than one.)
Does the paragraph
employ at least one literary
technique?
Do the sentences
contain strong active
verbs (avoiding
passive tense and “to
be”)?
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
11.
12.
13.
14.
Evaluate
your
sentences
and make
changes
until each
question
can be
answered
“Yes.”
Yes
No
Yes
No
Yes
No
Yes
No
30
Conventions
(otherwise known as Grammar!)
Then, rising with Aurora’s light,
The Muse invoked, sit down to write;
Blot out, correct, insert, refine,
Enlarge, diminish, interline.
---Jonathan Swift
 Check your grammar
 Check your grammar
 Check your grammar
 Check your grammar
 Check your grammar
 Check your grammar
31
PARTS OF SPEECH REVIEW
“They’ve a temper, some of them—particularly verbs: they’re the
proudest--adjectives you can do anything with, but not verbs—
however I can manage the whole lot of them!”
Humpty Dumpty in Lewis Carroll’s Through the Looking Glass
Understanding the parts of speech helps writers compose grammatically correct sentences and
figure out the best way to convey information.
Nouns: name a person, place, thing or idea
 Mr. Fontana, school, books, integrity
Pronouns: replace a noun
 he, she, they, him, her, them, it, who, that, there, anyone, nobody
Verbs: express action or a state of being
 run, jumps, persevered, becomes, was, had been, will be, is
Adverbs: modify or describe verbs, adjectives or other adverbs answering the adverbial
questions How? When? Where? Why? To what degree?
 quickly, very, well, not, never, always, thoughtfully
Adjectives: describe nouns and pronouns
 honest, brown, whimsical, hard-working, the
Conjunctions: connect words, phrases and clauses
 The FANBOYS (coordinating conjunctions): For, And, Nor, But, Or, Yet, So
 subordinating conjunctions: although, as, because, before, since, though, unless,
when
Prepositions: show relationships between their objects (nouns or pronouns) and the rest of the
sentence.
 across, at, behind, by, except, from, in, of, on, out, to, under, up, with
Interjections: express emotion or surprise (the life of the party!)
 Oh no! Wow! Fiddlesticks! Yee-Haw! Whoops! Ouch! Yes?
For more information, see Writers Inc.
32
COMPLETE SENTENCES
The backbone of effective writing relies upon constructing effective sentences. In order to
convey information to a reader, writers must compose sentences by following all five fantastic
rules below every time they write a sentence:





Capitalize the first letter.
End with proper punctuation.
Stay on one topic.
Have a clear subject (a noun, pronoun, or a group of words acting as a noun)
Have a verb.
Without these fabulous five sentence-making techniques, writers will not have a complete
sentence.
POSSESSIVES
When writers add an “S” to nouns to show ownership (which turns the nouns into adjectives),
they must use an apostrophe. “The landscape belonging to Lafayette” becomes “Lafayette’s
landscape.”
The rule for possessives: add an apostrophe and then an “S”
except when the word ends in “S” making it plural.
Some words (Chris, glass, crisis) end in “S” but are not plural, and they follow the standard
possessive rule: an apostrophe and then an “S” (Chris’s, glass’s, crisis’s).
Possessives using apostrophe, then “s”
Singular Noun
 dog’s bone, Joaquin’s answer, town’s beauty
Singular Noun that ends in “S”
 Chris’s integrity, dress’s button, kindness’s rewards
Plural Noun that does not end in “S”
 people’s opinions, children’s toys, oxen’s yoke
The ONLY time Possessives just need an apostrophe and not an added “S”
Plural Noun that ends in an “S”
 dresses’ buttons, dogs’ bones, students’ answers
Consistent use of correct possessives helps readers understand what
certain writing means:
the student’s answer = the answer of one student
the students’ answer = the answer of more than one student
COMMONLY CONFUSED WORDS MASTER LIST
For more information, see Writers Inc.
33
COMMONLY CONFUSED WORDS MASTER LIST
Master these essential commonly confused words in order to improve clarity and conventions.
Use the Writers Inc. “Commonly confused words” list for more of the most perplexing
combinations, but these below represent the must-be-memorized-now—immediately!
Accept: a verb that means “to receive” or “to believe”
 Because I accept your opinion about my hard work, I will gladly accept this award for
perseverance.
Except: preposition meaning “everything but”
 I love all fruits except the bizarrely fuzzy peach.
It’s: contraction for “it is”
 It’s easier to catch flies with honey than with vinegar.
Its: pronoun showing possession
 The mangy dog scratched its plethora of fleas.
Than: used to compare two things
 Peak to Peak students learn more quickly than lightning. They enjoy reading more than
television.
Then: indicates time
 I complete my homework and then play with my little brother.
Their: pronoun showing possession
 The basketball players practiced their free throws.
There: adverb used to show location
 On the bookshelf over there, twenty-seven captivating novels await.
(Avoid using “there” vaguely, as in “There are three kids playing.” Instead write “Three kids
play.”)
They’re: contraction for “they are”
 Please do not disturb the penguins when they’re dancing.
To: preposition indicating direction (or used to make a verb infinitive)
 In order to shine academically, she went to school each day with a positive attitude.
Too: means “also” or “very”
 She too believed that the walrus weighed too much to be carried downstairs.
Two: number directly following one
 I will have two ice cream cones please.
Your: pronoun showing possession
 Your smile glows like a friendly lantern illuminating your face.
You’re: contraction for “you are”
 You’re a fabulous writer.
For more information, see Writers Inc.
34
UNDERLINING AND QUOTATION MARKS
Any reference to a book, movie, TV show or poem needs to be properly punctuated to identify it
as a title. Usually, anything full length will be italicized or underlined (though not both
simultaneously!) Segments or sections of a longer work (one song from a CD for example) will
need quotation marks.
Italicize or Underline
“Use Quotation Marks”
books
short stories
movies
poems
journals
chapters
long musical works
songs
magazines
articles
newspapers
one-act plays
paintings and sculpture
episode titles
plays
TV and radio programs
CD titles
For more information, see Writers Inc.
PRONOUNS
An antecedent is the noun that a pronoun replaces.
In the sentence “Bob paused and then he jumped”
Bob = antecedent; he = pronoun replacing “Bob”
Pronouns must match their antecedents; singular antecedents require singular pronouns.
The flock of geese flew north and then it turned northwest.
 Flock = singular antecedent
 it = singular pronoun replacing “flock”
Antecedents that always take a singular pronoun
anybody, anyone, anything, each, everybody, everyone, everything, either, neither, nobody,
nothing, one, another, somebody, someone, something, whatever, whichever, whoever
 Someone lost his or her keys (not “their keys”!)
 Anybody can succeed if he or she works diligently.
 Everybody needs to pursue his or her dream.

Antecedents that always take a plural pronoun
both, few, others, several
Both Amelia Earhart and Rosa Parks challenged conventional viewpoints with their bravery.
 Few remember every detail when they dream.
Avoid vague pronouns--- those pronouns without antecedents. These pronouns force readers
to guess what they mean, and they lack precision.
Getting rid of vague pronouns
VAGUE: It is a gorgeous sunny day. (Vague pronoun, dull verb)
SPECIFIC: Today the sun shines gorgeously. (Much more precise and active)
For more information, see Writers Inc.
35
PRESENTATION
A paper needs not only strong writing and exciting ideas, but also a clear presentation (or format)
in order to be effective.
Rough drafts and especially brainstorming need not follow
any of the formatting rules except the following:
 Write legibly
 Label each draft so that you know which stage of
writing it represents
Guidelines for presentation of final drafts:

Always put name, date, period and teacher (in that order!) in the upper right-hand corner.

Center the title above the text of the paper if not using a cover page. Do not put the title in
quotes (only for referring to the paper in another work) and never underline the title of a
paper.

Use 1-inch margins

Double space if typing.

Indent paragraphs ½ inch. Do not add an extra space between paragraphs.

Indent long direct quotations 1 inch from the left margin.

Type in standard 12-inch font such as Times, Palatino, Helvetica (no fancy fonts or extralarge sizes) or write in neat cursive.

Write or type only on one side of the paper.

Number each page in the bottom right-hand corner.

Staple all the pages together (no paper clips or tape) in the upper, left-hand corner.

Arrange the paper in the following order:
1.
2.
3.
4.
Cover page (if applicable)
Body or text of the paper
Works Cited or Bibliography (if applicable)
Appendices (if appropriate - charts, graphs, illustrations, rough draft or peer response
forms)
36
GRAPH FOR ESTIMATING READABILITY
Directions:
1.
Count the first 100 words in your essay and place mark.
Note: If your piece begins with dialogue, do not use it as part of your 100 words.
Count how many sentences are in the first 100 words.
Note: Unless your first 100 words ends exactly on a period, the number should use a
decimal point (i.e. 4.1, 8.5, 9.75).
Count how many syllables are in the first 100 words. There should be more than 100.
Plot the two numbers on the graph below and determine the grade level of your piece.
2.
3.
4.
Short Words
108
112
Long Words
116
120
124
128
132
136
140
144
148
152
156
160
164
168
172
Short Sentences
23.0
20.0
14.7
14.3
12.5
1
11.1
10.0
2
9.2
8.3
3
7.5
7.1
6.7
4
5
6.3
5.8
5.5
5.3
6
5.0
Long Sentences
4.8
4.5
4.3
7
8
4.2
4.0
9
10
11
12
College
3.8
3.7
3.6
To further verify the level, randomly select three 100-word passages from
your piece. Plot the average number of syllables and the average number
of sentences per 100 words on the graph to determine the grade level of
the material. Few passages should fall in the gray area.
Source: Edward Fry, Burgess University Reading Center, New Brunswick, NJ
37
176
RATIOCINATION: A PROCESS FOR REVISION
Step One: Highlight (or underline) the first sentence of the composition in one color. Highlight (or
underline) the second sentence of the composition in a second color. Continue alternating colors
throughout the paper.
Step Two: Look at each individual sentence and make sure it is a complete thought and not a run-on or
fragment.
Correcting Run-on Sentences
What are the two (or more) complete thoughts in the sentence?
Correct your run-on sentences by:
a. adding a coordinating (FANBOYS) conjunction and a comma if the two parts of the
sentence are complete
b. adding a subordinating conjunction to make one complete clause dependent on the other
c. adding a semicolon if the two parts of the sentence are complete
d. creating two (or more) individual sentences with end punctuation and capital letters
Correcting Sentence Fragments
Make sure
a. the sentence has a complete subject and a complete predicate
b. that the thought is complete
Step Three: Circle the end punctuation and first word in each sentence in a third color. Check for
capitalization. List each circled word in the left margin. Highlight the words that are used too often.
Correcting Sentence Beginnings
Vary your sentence beginnings by:
a. flipping the sentence around by putting the end of the sentence at the beginning
Example: Paula excels at math.
Math poses no problem for Paula.
b. adding a transition word at the beginning of the sentence
(see p.29 of the Peak to Peak Writer’s Handbook for examples)
c. combining sentences using one of the techniques from Step Two Correcting Run-On
Sentences.
Step Four: Put a rectangle around each state of being verb (be, am, is, are, was, were, been – a full list of
linking verbs may be found in the Linking Verb Song on page 38 of the Peak to Peak Writer’s
Handbook).
Put sentences into active voice by eliminating your linking verbs.
Eliminate Linking Verbs
Minimize linking verbs by
a. flipping the sentence around by putting the end of the sentence at the beginning
Example:
Brian is intelligent.
Intelligence exudes from Brian.
b. choosing an active verb
Example:
Brian is intelligent.
Brian displays intellectual capacity both
verbally and in writing.
38
Step Five: Choose eight sentences (from the middle of your piece of writing) on which to score your
vocabulary level. Avoid using introductory and concluding paragraphs for this step if possible. Put an
asterisk above each word that fits the following criteria:
Do count:
a. words with three or more syllables
b. higher level one and two syllable words (ex: crux, profound) – these are words you
would not use in every day conversation
c. mature phrasing (including figurative language)
Do not count:
a. simple two’s + -ing or –ed
b. any word used more than twice
c. a word used incorrectly
d. proper nouns
Convert your word count to a grade level:
0-5
=
basic
5-10 =
functional
10-15 =
proficient
15-20 =
academic
20+
=
technical/advanced
3rd – 5th grade
5th grade
8th grade
HS
professional/college level
Correct Vocabulary Deficits
Use a thesaurus to improve your word choice.
Have peers make word choice suggestions.
Step Six: Circle all apostrophes and make sure they are used correctly.
Checking for Correct Apostrophes
Apostrophes may be used
a. in contractions to represent missing letters
Example: it’s (for it is), you’re (for you are)
b. to show possession
Example:
boy’s coat (the coat belonging to the boy)
girls’ soccer team (the team belonging to the girls)
Step Seven:
Underline all of the pronouns in your writing. Draw a line between the pronoun and the
noun to which it refers (its antecedent). Make sure that the two agree in number.
Example:
The crowd cheered for its team.
Step Eight:
Read your paper backwards, and highlight the following commonly confused words:
your, you’re, there, their, they’re, its, it’s. Next, read the paper normally and check to see that the words
are all spelled correctly.
39
The Linking Verb Song
(to the tune of Take Me Out to the Ball Game)
Be being am is are was
Take
me out
to
the
ball
game.
were shall be will be has been
Take
me out
to the
have been had been
Buy me
some peanuts
crowd.
shall have been
and cracker jacks.
will have been should be would be can be could be
I don’t care
if I
never
come back
– Oh it’s
should have been would have been could have been
root,
root, root for the
home team.
appear become feel grow look
If they
don’t win,
it’s
a
shame.
remain seem smell sound
stay
taste
For it’s
you’re
out
one,
two,
three strikes
–avoid linking verbs!
at the
old ball
game!
40
6+1 Traits of Writing
Rubrics
1. Ideas and Content
2. Organization
3. Language/Word Choice (Diction)
4. Voice (Tone)
5. Sentence Fluency (Syntax)
6. Conventions
+1. Presentation
41
Ideas and Content
4:
Ideas: use level two and level three analysis
provide persuasive support for the thesis in body paragraphs
avoid imprecision and overstatement
use persuasive techniques
present specific, relevant textual evidence to support the thesis
appropriately document sources
are clear and focused
are fresh and original
are easily readable overall
3:
Ideas:
contain most of the above elements, with minor oversights
overall readability is not affected by oversights
2:
Ideas:
contain some of the above elements, but are missing a significant piece or pieces
overall readability is somewhat affected by oversights
1:
Ideas:
contain few of the above elements
overall readability is significantly affected
4=advanced
3=proficient
2=partially proficient
1=unsatisfactory
42
Organization
4:
Organization contains:
a grabber that draws the reader’s attention
a thesis present at the end of the first paragraph
ideas that flow logically from one to another
smooth transitions that connect ideas and paragraphs
topic sentences that support the thesis
paragraphs that are focused and support the topic sentences
a strong conclusion that sums up and suggests further relevance
3:
Organization:
contains most of the above requirements, with minor oversights
overall readability is not affected by oversights
2:
Organization:
contains some of the above requirements, but is missing a significant piece or
pieces
overall readability is somewhat affected by oversights
1:
Organization:
contains few of the above requirements
overall readability is significantly affected
4=advanced
3=proficient
2=partially proficient
1=unsatisfactory
43
Language/Word Choice (Diction)
4:
Language consistently:
employs literary techniques (figurative language, allusion, etc.)
varies word choice
shows rather than tells
paints a picture with words
describes topics using:
precise nouns
powerful action verbs
descriptive adjectives
rich and detailed images
3:
Language frequently:
employs literary techniques (figurative language, allusion, etc.)
varies word choice
shows rather than tells
paints a picture with words
describes topics using:
precise nouns
powerful action verbs
descriptive adjectives
rich and detailed images
2:
Language occasionally:
employs literary techniques (figurative language, allusion, etc.)
varies word choice
shows rather than tells
paints a picture with words
describes topics using:
precise nouns
powerful action verbs
descriptive adjectives
rich and detailed images
1:
Language rarely:
employs literary techniques (figurative language, allusion, etc.)
varies word choice
shows rather than tells
paints a picture with words
describes topics using:
precise nouns
powerful action verbs
descriptive adjectives
rich and detailed images
4=advanced
3=proficient
2=partially proficient
1=unsatisfactory
44
Voice (Tone)
4:
Writing consistently shows:
appropriate tone for the intended audience
consistent tone throughout
SOAPSTone information clearly articulated
personality, individuality
vivid expression, emotion
ability to evoke strong reader response
3:
Writing frequently shows:
appropriate tone for the intended audience
consistent tone throughout
SOAPSTone information articulated
personality, individuality
vivid expression, emotion
ability to evoke reader response
2:
Writing occasionally shows:
appropriate tone in places
consistent tone in places
some SOAPSTone information articulated
personality, individuality
expression, emotion
ability to evoke some reader response
1:
Writing rarely shows:
appropriate tone
consistent tone
SOAPSTone information articulated
personality, individuality
expression, emotion
ability to evoke any reader response
4=advanced
3=proficient
2=partially proficient
1=unsatisfactory
45
Sentence Fluency (Syntax)
4:
Writing consistently flows smoothly due to:
a variety of sentence lengths, structure and beginnings
appropriate and sophisticated transition words
3:
Writing frequently flows smoothly due to:
a variety of sentence lengths, structure and beginnings
appropriate and sophisticated transition words
2:
Writing occasionally flows smoothly due to:
a variety of sentence lengths, structure and beginnings
appropriate and sophisticated transition words
1:
Writing rarely flows smoothly due to lack of:
a variety of sentence lengths, structure and beginnings
appropriate and sophisticated transition words
4=advanced
3=proficient
2=partially proficient
1=unsatisfactory
46
Conventions
4:
Writing shows consistent mastery of:
capitalization
punctuation
spelling
grammar
indentation
complete sentences
Readability and meaning are enhanced.
3:
Writing contains minor errors in:
capitalization
punctuation
spelling
grammar
indentation
complete sentences
Errors do not interfere with readability and meaning.
2:
Writing contains errors in:
capitalization
spelling
indentation
punctuation
grammar
complete sentences
Errors interfere with readability, but not meaning.
1:
Writing contains numerous errors in all mechanics and grammar.
Text is unreadable due to errors that interfere with
readability and meaning.
4=advanced
3=proficient
2=partially proficient
1=unsatisfactory
47
Presentation
4:
Final draft contains:
identifying information is in the upper, right-hand corner
title centered on top line without quotes or underlining
margins are 1-inch on both sides
paragraphs are indented 1/2 inch
standard, appropriate 12-inch font, if typed
double spaced, if typed
legible cursive, if handwritten
blue or black ink, if handwritten
writing or typing only on one side of the paper
page numbers in the bottom, right-hand corner
all pages stapled together in the upper, left-hand corner
pages in the correct order
overall presentation that enhances readability
3:
Final draft:
contains most of the above requirements, with minor oversights
overall readability is not affected by oversights
2:
Final draft:
contains some of the above requirements, but is missing a significant piece or
pieces
overall readability is somewhat affected by oversights
1:
Final draft:
contains few of the above requirements
overall readability is significantly affected
4=advanced
3=proficient
2=partially proficient
1=unsatisfactory
48
CITING SOURCES: KEY POINTS
1. Why cite your sources? Because you must give credit to others for their ideas and work. Failing to
do so can have very severe consequences, up to and including expulsion.
2. Punctuation is VERY important!
3. Cite ALL pertinent information – if you are unsure, it is better to have too much than too little.
4. Follow the citation format EXACTLY! Double-space and reverse-indent all entries (see “Notes” at
the end of this document).
MLA Citation Style
MLA Handbook for Writers of Research Papers, 7th edition
Book
Okuda, Michael, and Denise Okuda. Star Trek Chronology: The History of the Future. New York:
Pocket, 1993. Print.
Journal Article
Wilcox, Rhonda V. "Shifting Roles and Synthetic Women in Star Trek: The Next Generation."
Studies in Popular Culture 13.2 (1991): 53-65. Print.
Newspaper or Magazine Article
Di Rado, Alicia. "Trekking through College: Classes Explore Modern Society Using the World of
Star Trek." Los Angeles Times 15 Mar. 1995: A3. Print.
Book Article or Chapter
James, Nancy E. "Two Sides of Paradise: The Eden Myth According to Kirk and Spock." Spectrum
of the Fantastic. Ed. Donald Palumbo. Westport: Greenwood, 1988. 219-223. Print.
Encyclopedia Article (well known reference books)
Sturgeon, Theodore. "Science Fiction." The Encyclopedia Americana. International ed. 1995. Print.
Encyclopedia Article (less familiar reference books)
Horn, Maurice. "Flash Gordon." The World Encyclopedia of Comics. Ed. Maurice Horn. 2 vols.
New York: Chelsea, 1976. Print.
ERIC Document
Fuss-Reineck, Marilyn. “Sibling Communication in Star Trek: The Next Generation: Conflicts
between Brothers.” Miami: Speech Communication Assn., 1993. ERIC Document Reproduction
Service ED364932. Print.
Gale Reference Book (and other books featuring reprinted articles)
Shayon, Robert Lewis. "The Interplanetary Spock." Saturday Review 17 June 1967: 46. Rpt. in
Contemporary Literary Criticism. Ed. Sharon R. Gunton. Vol. 17. Detroit: Gale Research, 1981. 403.
Print.
49
Textbook
Farah, Karls, and the National Geographic Society. World History: The Human Experience.
Columbus, Ohio:The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. , 2001. Print.
MLA Works Cited: Electronic Sources (Web Publications)
from the Purdue Online Writing Lab
Summary: MLA (Modern Language Association) style is most commonly used to write papers
and cite sources within the liberal arts and humanities. This resource, updated to reflect the MLA
Handbook for Writers of Research Papers (7th ed.) and the MLA Style Manual and Guide to
Scholarly Publishing (3rd ed.), offers examples for the general format of MLA research papers,
in-text citations, endnotes/footnotes, and the Works Cited page. Please use the example at the
bottom of this page to cite the Purdue OWL in MLA.
Contributors:Tony Russell, Allen Brizee
Last Edited: 2010-05-05 02:05:01
MLA lists electronic sources as Web Publications. Thus, when including the medium of
publication for electronic sources, list the medium as Web.
It is always a good idea to maintain personal copies of electronic information, when possible. It is
good practice to print or save Web pages or, better, using a program like Adobe Acrobat, to keep
your own copies for future reference. Most Web browsers will include URL/electronic address
information when you print, which makes later reference easy. Also, you might use the
Bookmark function in your Web browser in order to return to documents more easily.
Important Note on the Use of URLs in MLA
MLA no longer requires the use of URLs in MLA citations. Because Web addresses are not static
(i.e. they change often) and because documents sometimes appear in multiple places on the Web
(e.g. on multiple databases), MLA explains that most readers can find electronic sources via title
or author searches in Internet Search Engines.
For instructors or editors that still wish to require the use of URLs, MLA suggests that the URL
appear in angle brackets after the date of access. Break URLs only after slashes.
Aristotle. Poetics. Trans. S. H. Butcher. The Internet Classics Archive. Web Atomic and
Massachusetts Institute of Technology, 13 Sept. 2007. Web. 4 Nov. 2008.
‹http://classics.mit.edu/›.
50
Abbreviations Commonly Used with Electronic Sources
If publishing information is unavailable for entries that require publication information such as
publisher (or sponsor) names and publishing dates, MLA requires the use of special
abbreviations to indicate that this information is not available. Use n.p. to indicate that neither a
publisher nor a sponsor name has been provided. Use n.d. when the Web page does not provide a
publication date.
When an entry requires that you provide a page but no pages are provided in the source (as in the
case of an online-only scholarly journal or a work that appears in an online-only anthology), use
the abbreviation n. pag.
Basic Style for Citations of Electronic Sources (Including Online Databases)
Here are some common features you should try and find before citing electronic sources in MLA
style. Not every Web page will provide all of the following information. However, collect as
much of the following information as possible both for your citations and for your research notes:

Author and/or editor names (if available)

Article name in quotation marks (if applicable)

Title of the Website, project, or book in italics. (Remember that some Print publications
have Web publications with slightly different names. They may, for example, include the
additional information or otherwise modified information, like domain names [e.g. .com
or .net].)

Any version numbers available, including revisions, posting dates, volumes, or issue
numbers.

Publisher information, including the publisher name and publishing date.

Take note of any page numbers (if available).

Date you accessed the material.

URL (if required, or for your own personal reference).
Citing an Entire Web Site
It is necessary to list your date of access because web postings are often updated, and information
available on one date may no longer be available later. Be sure to include the complete address
for the site.
Remember to use n.p. if no publisher name is available and n.d. if no publishing date is given.
Editor, author, or compiler name (if available). Name of Site. Version number. Name of
institution/organization affiliated with the site (sponsor or publisher), date of
resource creation (if available). Medium of publication. Date of access.
51
The Purdue OWL Family of Sites. The Writing Lab and OWL at Purdue and Purdue U,
2008. Web. 23 Apr. 2008.
Felluga, Dino. Guide to Literary and Critical Theory. Purdue U, 28 Nov. 2003. Web. 10
May 2006.
Course or Department Websites
Give the instructor name. Then list the title of the course (or the school catalog designation for
the course) in italics. Give appropriate department and school names as well, following the
course title. Remember to use n.d. if not publishing date is given.
Felluga, Dino. Survey of the Literature of England. Purdue U, Aug. 2006. Web. 31 May
2007. English Department. Purdue U, 14 May 2009. Web. 20 Apr. 2009.
A Page on a Web Site
For an individual page on a Web site, list the author or alias if known, followed by the
information covered above for entire Web sites. Remember to use n.p. if no publisher name is
available and n.d. if no publishing date is given.
"How to Make Vegetarian Chili." eHow.com. eHow, n.d. Web. 24 Feb. 2009.
An Image (Including a Painting, Sculpture, or Photograph)
Provide the artist's name, the work of art italicized, the date of creation, the institution and city
where the work is housed. Follow this initial entry with the name of the Website in italics, the
medium of publication, and the date of access.
Goya, Francisco. The Family of Charles IV. 1800. Museo Nacional del Prado, Madrid.
Museo National del Prado. Web. 22 May 2006.
Klee, Paul. Twittering Machine. 1922. Museum of Modern Art, New York. The Artchive.
Web. 22 May 2006.
If the work is cited on the web only, then provide the name of the artist, the title of the work, the
medium of the work, and then follow the citation format for a website. If the work is posted via a
username, use that username for the author.
brandychloe. "Great Horned Owl Family." Photograph. Webshots. American Greetings,
22 May 2006. Web. 5 Nov. 2009.
52
Below are several examples that are formatted properly in the following order (painting;
map; personal photo; copyrighted graphic):
di Bondone, Giotto. The Morning of Christ. Painting/Fresco. 1305. WebMuseum, Paris. 1
June 1999. Web. 5 May 2010.
“Methuen, Massachusetts.” Map. U.S. Gazeteer. US Census Bureau. 4 Oct. 1999. Web. 5
May 2010.
Peak to Peak Dodge Ball Game. Personal Photograph Taken by Author. 2009.
“X-Box 360 Logo.” Online Graphic Image. About: Xbox Games. 2007. Microsoft
Corporation. 17 Apr. 2007. Web. 5 May 2010.
If you are citing an image on a website IN ADDITION to the website as a whole, you can
cite the website as a whole, and then cite the image in-text.
An Article in a Web Magazine
Provide the author name, article name in quotation marks, title of the Web magazine in italics,
publisher name, publication date, medium of publication, and the date of access. Remember to
use n.p. if no publisher name is available and n.d. if not publishing date is given.
Bernstein, Mark. "10 Tips on Writing the Living Web." A List Apart: For People Who
Make Websites. A List Apart Mag., 16 Aug. 2002. Web. 4 May 2009.
An Article in an Online Scholarly Journal
For all online scholarly journals, provide the author(s) name(s), the name of the article in
quotation marks, the title of the publication in italics, all volume and issue numbers, and the year
of publication.
Article in an Online-only Scholarly Journal
MLA requires a page range for articles that appear in Scholarly Journals. If the journal you are
citing appears exclusively in an online format (i.e. there is no corresponding print publication)
that does not make use of page numbers, use the abbreviation n. pag. to denote that there is no
pagination for the publication.
Dolby, Nadine. “Research in Youth Culture and Policy: Current Conditions and Future
Directions.” Social Work and Society: The International Online-Only Journal 6.2
(2008): n. pag. Web. 20 May 2009.
53
Article in an Online Scholarly Journal That Also Appears in Print
Cite articles in online scholarly journals that also appear in print as you would a scholarly journal
in print, including the page range of the article. Provide the medium of publication that you used
(in this case, Web) and the date of access.
Wheelis, Mark. "Investigating Disease Outbreaks Under a Protocol to the Biological and
Toxin Weapons Convention." Emerging Infectious Diseases 6.6 (2000): 595-600.
Web. 8 Feb. 2009.
An Article from an Online Database (or Other Electronic Subscription Service)
Cite articles from online databases (e.g. LexisNexis, ProQuest, JSTOR, ScienceDirect) and other
subscription services just as you would print sources. Since these articles usually come from
periodicals, be sure to consult the appropriate sections of the Works Cited: Periodicals page,
which you can access via its link at the bottom of this page. In addition to this information,
provide the title of the database italicized, the medium of publication, and the date of access.
Note: Previous editions of the MLA Style Manual required information about the subscribing
institution (name and location). This information is no longer required by MLA.
Junge, Wolfgang, and Nathan Nelson. “Nature's Rotary Electromotors.” Science 29 Apr.
2005: 642-44. Science Online. Web. 5 Mar. 2009.
Langhamer, Claire. “Love and Courtship in Mid-Twentieth-Century England.” Historical
Journal 50.1 (2007): 173-96. ProQuest. Web. 27 May 2009.
E-mail (including E-mail Interviews)
Give the author of the message, followed by the subject line in quotation marks. State to whom
to message was sent, the date the message was sent, and the medium of publication.
Kunka, Andrew. "Re: Modernist Literature." Message to the author. 15 Nov. 2000. Email.
Neyhart, David. "Re: Online Tutoring." Message to Joe Barbato. 1 Dec. 2000. E-mail.
A Listserv, Discussion Group, or Blog Posting
Cite Web postings as you would a standard Web entry. Provide the author of the work, the title
of the posting in quotation marks, the Web site name in italics, the publisher, and the posting
date. Follow with the medium of publication and the date of access. Include screen names as
author names when author name is not known. If both names are known, place the author’s name
in brackets. Remember if the publisher of the site is unknown, use the abbreviation n.p.
Editor, screen name, author, or compiler name (if available). “Posting Title.” Name of
Site. Version number (if available). Name of institution/organization affiliated
with the site (sponsor or publisher). Medium of publication. Date of access.
54
Salmar1515 [Sal Hernandez]. “Re: Best Strategy: Fenced Pastures vs. Max Number of
Rooms?” BoardGameGeek. BoardGameGeek, 29 Sept. 2008. Web. 5 Apr. 2009.
Notes:

Arrange the items on your reference list alphabetically by author (or first word), interfiling
books, articles, etc. If you have more than one author, use the following format:

2 or 3 authors:
Diehl, Daniel, and Mark Donelly. Medieval Furniture: Plans and Instructions for
Historical Reproductions. Mechanicsburg, PA: Stackpole, 1999. Print.

More than 3 authors:
Roberts, Simon, et. Al. The Complete Java 2 Certification Study Guide. Alameda, CA:
Sybex, 1999. Print.

If no author is given, start with the title.

Double space all lines.

Indent the second and following lines 5 spaces (or one tab = one half inch).

Abbreviate the names of all months except May, June, and July.

If the paging of a magazine or newspaper article is continued elsewhere in the issue,
include only the first page followed by a plus sign (ex. 25+.).

If the encyclopedia does not arrange its articles alphabetically, treat the encyclopedia article
as if it were a book article. Specific volume and page numbers are cited in the text, not in
the list of references.

Gale Reference Book: cite the original source being reprinted as shown under Book, Journal
Article, Newspaper or Magazine Article, etc. The example shows a Magazine Article. Then
include the citation information for the reference book.

The rules concerning a title within a title are not displayed here for purposes of clarity. See
the printed version of the MLA Handbook (7th edition) for details.

For documents and situations not listed here, see the printed 7th edition of the MLA
Handbook.
55
See Works Cited Page example below:
WORKS CITED
Lynch, Tim. “DSN Trials and Tribble-ations” Review. Psi Phi: Bradley's Science Fiction
Club. Bradley University. 1996. Web. 8 Oct. 1997.
Okuda, Michael, and Denise Okuda. Star Trek Chronology: The History of the Future.
New York: Pocket, 1993. Print.
Shayon, Robert Lewis. "The Interplanetary Spock." Saturday Review 17 June 1967: 46.
Contemporary Literary Criticism. Web. 16 Oct. 2001.
Sturgeon, Theodore. "Science Fiction." The Encyclopedia Americana. International ed.,
1995. Print.
*See “Notes” section above for a description of how to cite a source with multiple authors.
56
PARENTHETICAL CITATIONS
What is a parenthetical citation?
A parenthetical citation, which is also known as an in-text citation, is a way to signal to your
reader that you are either directly quoting from, or paraphrasing, the words and ideas of another
writer. It also tells your reader where to look if s/he wants to see the quote in context. You
must provide a parenthetical citation every time you use textual evidence in the body of a paper.
What should a parenthetical citation include?
In its most basic format, it should include:
1. the last name of the author you are quoting or paraphrasing
2. the page number on which you found the quotation
Sometimes, you might be using a source that requires more specific instructions, such as: an
article with no known author; a poem; multiple books by the same author. In cases such as these,
please see “Where can I look for more specific information?” below.
Remember: any source cited in the body of your paper must also appear in the “works cited”
part of your paper, as well.
How should I format a parenthetical citation?
This depends on the type of source you are using. The basic form for a short quotation (4 typed
lines or fewer) from a print source is as follows:
1. The parenthetical citation occurs after the ending quotation mark.
2. No punctuation should be used within the parentheses.
3. The parenthetical citation must be placed inside the end punctuation for the quotation.
4. The citation should be placed so that it does not disrupt the natural flow of the sentence
– usually right before the ending punctuation for your sentence.
Examples –
original quotation: My application was at first fluctuating and uncertain; it gained strength as I
proceeded, and soon became so ardent and eager that the stars often disappeared in the light of
morning whilst I was yet engaged in my laboratory. – Mary Shelley, Frankenstein, page 22
parenthetical citation: As Victor Frankenstein became more engrossed in his experiment, he
paid so little attention to time that “the stars often disappeared in the light of morning” as he
worked on his creature (Shelley 22).
another version: Victor worked so laboriously on the creature that he had little knowledge of the
passage of time: “the stars often disappeared in the light of morning whilst I was yet engaged in
my laboratory” (Shelley 22).
paraphrased version: Days and nights flew by as Victor worked; his passion for his experiment
grew so steadily that he had no knowledge of the passage of time (Shelley 22).
57
What about websites?
Follow the same guidelines as above. However, page numbers are not relevant due to website
formatting. Instead, determine in which paragraph your quotation is found. For example, if your
quoted material is in the fourth paragraph of the webpage, your citation would be as follows:
(Fontana para. 4).
How can I make the quotation naturally fit into my paper?
It is important to integrate textual evidence into your own words. If you don’t do this properly,
you commit the error of a dropped quotation, or a quote that is “dropped” into the middle of your
paragraph with no anchor. Instead, announce to your reader that you will be quoting from a
source by using a signal phrase.
dropped quotation example: Victor Frankenstein became more and more engrossed in his
studies. “The stars often disappeared in the light of morning whilst I was yet engaged in my
laboratory” (Shelley 22).
fixed with the use of a signal phrase: Victor Frankenstein became more and more engrossed in
his studies, admitting that “the stars often disappeared in the light of morning whilst I was yet
engaged in my laboratory” (Shelley 22).
sample signal phrases you can use:
admits
agrees
believes
claims
confirms
declares
insists
observes
proves
responds
states
thinks
Where can I look for more specific information?
Most of the time, the examples above will be all you need. However, there may be some
instances in which you need more help – if you are quoting more than 4 lines of text, for
instance. When in doubt, check with your teacher to be certain you are citing correctly.
58
Citation Pages Works Cited
Hacker, Diana. A Pocket Style Manual with 2009 MLA Update. 2nd ed. Boston: Bedford
Books, 2009. Print.
Purdue OWL. "MLA Formatting and Style Guide." The Purdue OWL. Purdue U Writing
Lab, 10 May 2008. Web. 15 Nov. 2008.
Sebranek, Patrick, Dave Kemper, and Verne Meyer. Writers Inc. Wilmington, MA: Write
Source, 2006. Print.
Shelley, Mary Wollstonecraft. Frankenstein. Philadelphia: Chelsea House Printers, 2007.
Print.
The Purdue OWL. Purdue U Writing Lab, 2008. Web. 27 Dec. 2008.
Resources:



Writer’s Inc. 2006 edition (the LMC has multiple copies)
Citing Sources page on the LMC website
Electronic Sources MLA Style: Purdue Online Writing Lab.
http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/747/08/
59
Writer’s Handbook Bibliography and Resources for Further Information
Choi, Stephanie, and others. Central Style: A Guide for Research. Greeley: Greeley Central
High School, 1999.
The College Entrance Examination Board. The AP Vertical Teams Guide to English, 2nd Ed.
Princeton: The College Entrance Examination Board, 2002.
Heffernan, James A. and John E. Lincoln. Writing: A Concise Handbook. New York: W.W.
Norton and Company, 1997.
Fontana, Anthony, and Cary J. Smith. A Writer’s Notebook. Greeley: Heath Junior High
School, 2000.
Hacker, Diane. A Writer’s Reference. 3rd Ed. New York: Bedford books, 1995.
Sebranek, Patrick, Dave Kemper, and Verne Meyer. Writers Inc. Wilmington, MA: Houghton
Mifflin, 2001.
60