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FEAR LESS
#2 Less Fear of Rejection
Welcome Frederick Campus
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Introduction
In this series of messages we are looking at the topic of fear and how to overcome it.
Our goal is to look at some of the most prevalent fears we experience in life and discover
what God says about reducing the influence of fear in our life — how to live a “FEAR
LESS” life in 2016 and beyond.
Inside all of us there’s a desire to be wanted, accepted, approved of, appreciated,
affirmed, and assured that we are OK. We have an inner longing to fit in.
The counterpart of this desire is the fear of not being wanted, accepted, approved of,
appreciated, affirmed and assured that we are OK.
This fear is known as “the fear of rejection.”
What is rejection?
To reject is, “to castaway, castoff, or declare as unwanted, unacceptable, unapproved of,
unappreciated, disaffirmed or not assured.”
The fear of rejection runs deep inside us.
Often we’re not even aware of how significantly it influences and affects us.
When the fear of rejection dominates us, we make lots of bad decisions.
The fear of rejection:
(1) Makes you vulnerable to negative peer pressure that can result in moral
compromises.
(2) Makes you excessively needy.
Church of the Redeemer | Pastor Dale O’Shields | January 16 & 17, 2016
(3) Causes you to become reclusive and isolate from others.
(4) Causes you to put up relationship walls — we reject others to avoid being
rejected.
(5) Creates negative self-fulfilling prophecies.
(6) Makes you prone to misread and misinterpret people. (When you expect rejection,
you see it everywhere!)
(7) Makes you vulnerable to emotional manipulation by others.
(8) Affects your decision-making abilities.
(9) Keeps you from discovering your uniquenesses. (Robs you of your personal
identity.)
(10) Makes you vulnerable to comparisons with others and jealousy toward others.
(11) Makes you less likely to attract and build healthy relationships.
(12) Keeps you from sharing your faith and convictions.
When you’re insecure on the inside, you will miss some of the best God has for you.
How do we have “less fear” of rejection?
Let’s take a look at 8 things that will help you become more secure:
1.
ACCEPT the LOVE of God, in Jesus Christ.
One of the biggest lies in the world today is that something or someone, other that God,
can and will make you happy and secure.
Many people think, “If I just find the right person, or group; if I am loved and accepted by
them, I will be happy and secure.”
This is not true.
The reality is, the love needs in your life are far too big for any person or group of people
to fill.
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You will never experience enough love from people to successfully and perpetually free
you from insecurity and the fear of rejection.
There is only one love that can and will do this for you — the love of God, in Jesus Christ.
When you look closely at the life and ministry of Jesus you see that He continually
reached out to people with love.
Jesus ministered love and grace to the well-connected and to the disenfranchised!
Matthew 8:5-10 (NIV)
When Jesus had entered Capernaum, a centurion came to Him, asking for help.
6
“Lord,” he said, “my servant lies at home paralyzed, suffering terribly.”
7
Jesus said to him, “Shall I come and heal him?”
8
The centurion replied, “Lord, I do not deserve to have You come under my roof. But just
say the word, and my servant will be healed.
9
For I myself am a man under authority, with soldiers under me. I tell this one, ‘Go,’ and
he goes; and that one, ‘Come,’ and he comes. I say to my servant, ‘Do this,’ and he does
it.”
10
When Jesus heard this, He was amazed and said to those following Him, “Truly I tell
you, I have not found anyone in Israel with such great faith.”
Matthew 8:13 (NIV)
Then Jesus said to the centurion, “Go! Let it be done just as you believed it would.” And
his servant was healed at that moment.
Luke 17:11-14 (NIV)
Now on His way to Jerusalem, Jesus traveled along the border between Samaria and
Galilee.
12
As He was going into a village, ten men who had leprosy met Him. They stood at a
distance
13
and called out in a loud voice, “Jesus, Master, have pity on us!”
14
When He saw them, He said, “Go, show yourselves to the priests.” And as they went,
they were cleansed.
Mark 5:25-34 (NIV)
And a woman was there who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years.
26
She had suffered a great deal under the care of many doctors and had spent all she
had, yet instead of getting better she grew worse.
27
When she heard about Jesus, she came up behind Him in the crowd and touched His
cloak,
28
because she thought, “If I just touch His clothes, I will be healed.”
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29
Immediately her bleeding stopped and she felt in her body that she was freed from her
suffering.
30
At once Jesus realized that power had gone out from Him. He turned around in the
crowd and asked, “Who touched My clothes?”
31
“You see the people crowding against You,” His disciples answered, “and yet You can
ask, ‘Who touched Me?’ ”
32
But Jesus kept looking around to see who had done it.
33
Then the woman, knowing what had happened to her, came and fell at His feet and,
trembling with fear, told Him the whole truth.
34
He said to her, “Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from
your suffering.”
John 8:2-11 (NIV)
At dawn He appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around
Him, and He sat down to teach them.
3
The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They
made her stand before the group
4
and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery.
5
In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do You say?”
6
They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing Him. But
Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with His finger.
7
When they kept on questioning Him, He straightened up and said to them, “Let any one
of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.”
8
Again He stooped down and wrote on the ground.
9
At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only
Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there.
10
Jesus straightened up and asked her, Woman, where are they? Has no one
condemned you?”
11
“No one, sir,” she said. “Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now
and leave your life of sin.”
Everybody needs the love that only God gives.
There is a way to receive this love:
Acts 2:37, 38 (NIV)
When the people heard this, they were cut to the heart and said to Peter and the other
apostles, “Brothers, what shall we do?”
38
Peter replied, “Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ
for the forgiveness of your sins. And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.”
Romans 10:9, 10 (NIV)
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If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised
Him from the dead, you will be saved.
10
For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that
you profess your faith and are saved.
Romans 10:13 (NIV)
For, “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”
John 3:16 (NIV)
For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in
Him shall not perish but have eternal life.
2 Corinthians 5:17 (NIV)
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is
here!
Open your life to the love and acceptance of God, through Jesus Christ.
2.
HEAL the PAIN of past rejections.
You cannot expect to be free of the fear of rejection in the present if you’re still living in
the pain for past rejections.
The fact is, we all have experience with rejection. Unfortunately, it’s part of the world we
live in.
No matter how many rejections you’ve experienced, or how severe they may have been,
you must make a choice about them:
•
(1) Let them dominate your life.
•
(2) Move beyond them to a better life.
If you allow them to dominate your life, you’re setting yourself up for problems in your
present.
You can move beyond them.
IN NOTES:
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How to heal the pain of past rejection:
(1) Identify and acknowledge the pain.
(2) Forgive the people.
(3) Ask God to heal your soul.
(4) Learn the appropriate lessons.
(5) Anticipate a better future.
To have less fear of rejection, you must heal the pain of past rejections.
3.
LIVE by God’s RULES.
You can’t disobey and expect to feel the pleasure of God! God has an approved way for
you to live.
It’s important to remember that God has established certain things in life as right and
wrong, good and bad, light and darkness.
There are certain things that please God and things that displease Him.
IN NOTES:
To live with inner security, you need to:
•
(1) Know what God approves.
•
(2) Live to be approved by God.
Sin erodes security.
Take a look at the following passages.
Genesis 4:6, 7 (NIV)
Then the Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast?
7
If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin
is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must rule over it.”
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Romans 12:1 (NIV)
Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies
as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God — this is your true and proper worship.
2 Corinthians 5:9 (NIV)
So we make it our goal to please Him, whether we are at home in the body or away from
it.
Colossians 1:10 (NIV)
So that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and please Him in every way: bearing fruit in
every good work, growing in the knowledge of God.
1 Thessalonians 2:4 (NIV)
On the contrary, we speak as those approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel.
We are not trying to please people but God, who tests our hearts.
1 Thessalonians 4:1 (NIV)
As for other matters, brothers and sisters, we instructed you how to live in order to please
God, as in fact you are living. Now we ask you and urge you in the Lord Jesus to do this
more and more.
2 Timothy 2:15 (NIV)
Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who does not need to
be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth.
To have a solid sense of inner security, live in a way that pleases God.
4.
ANTICIPATE ACCEPTANCE.
To be healthy emotionally, psychologically and relationally, build your relationships and
interactions with people with an anticipation of being accepted.
It’s unhealthy and counterproductive to approach relationships with the anticipation of
rejection. If you expect it, you’ll likely get it.
Approach all your interactions with the anticipation and belief that you’re going to be
accepted, not rejected.
But also be realistic. Understand that not everyone is going to like and accept you! This
is simply a fact.
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The Bible teaches us that, because of sin and evil in the world, we’re going to be
rejected!
Matthew 5:11, 12 (NIV)
Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil
against you because of Me.
12
Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they
persecuted the prophets who were before you.
John 15:20, 21 (NIV)
Remember what I told you: “A servant is not greater than his master.” If they persecuted
Me, they will persecute you also. If they obeyed My teaching, they will obey yours also.
21
They will treat you this way because of My name, for they do not know the one who
sent Me.
5.
Let rejection DRAW you CLOSER to God.
IN NOTES:
What do you do when you’re rejected, especially for your faith?
(1) Go to God for comfort and strength.
(2) Learn what you can learn from the pain.
(3) Respond with love and forgiveness.
(4) Set proper boundaries.
David taught us the lesson of what to do with rejection:
Psalm 23:4-6 (NIV)
Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for You are with me; Your
rod and your staff, they comfort me.
5
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with
oil; my cup overflows.
6
Surely Your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in
the house of the Lord forever.
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Let rejection draw you closer to God.
6.
Learn and practice godly and good RELATIONSHIP SKILLS.
You’ll experience less rejection if you become better at relating to people!
What are you current relationship limitations?
What relationships do you need to improve or learn?
What steps can you take to improve your relationship abilities?
7.
Get busy DEVELOPING YOU.
The more you develop you; your spiritual life, your character, you personality, your
emotional health, your body, your wholeness, the more attractive you will be to others.
Are you investing in you to become the best you you can be?
8.
RE-TRAIN your BRAIN.
Stop thinking about what others think about you and focus on what God thinks about
you.
Grow your relationship with Him and seek His approval.
Learn that God’s approval is what matters most!
God wants you to experience less fear of rejection?
Think about how much your life will improve when you are less worried about being
accepted or rejected!
These steps will help you have less fear of rejection:
(1) Accept the love of God, in Jesus Christ.
(2) Heal the pain of past rejections.
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(3) Live by God’s rules.
(4) Anticipate acceptance, but be realistic.
(5) Let rejection draw you closer to God.
(6) Learn and practice godly and good relationship skills.
(7) Get busy developing you.
(8) Re-train your brain.
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