Download Education Day Mentoring Guide - Leadership Center for Excellence

Leadership Arlington Education Day
February 23, 2016
“Gold Star” Mentoring- Best Practices
What Are the Characteristics of a Gold Star Mentor?
Personality Traits:
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Interested in you as a person
Objectivity
Always positive
Meets regularly, is consistent and reliable
Provides guidance on becoming a professional in your field
Sees being a mentor as important
Good listener
Ability to make people feel at ease
Willingness to be candid and frank in conversations
Transparent- no hidden agendas
Trustworthy
Patient
Confident
Visionary- has a wider view of the world
Selflessness- has a servant’s heart
Caring/empathic/shows compassion
Supportive listener/cheerleader
Non-judgmental
Authentic
Expects high performance from you
Positive/optimistic outlook- always assumes positive intent
High integrity/moral character
Skill Set:
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Asks questions probing your interests and possibilities
Leadership by example
Subject matter expert
Adept problem solver
Analytical mindset
Presence and poise
Clear communicator
Solution-oriented
Reality-focused
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Sets higher goals
Open minded to all ideas
Able to find common ground in conflict situations
Can identify potential in others and elicits behaviors to help achieve it
What Mentoring Techniques Are Used by Gold Star Mentors?
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A knack for timing ~ providing you with insights when they need it; and not before you are ready
to receive it
Skilled at asking questions of you to uncover possibilities you may not have considered
Encourages and collaborates with you to help you identify and acquire the needed experiences
or expertise to go in the direction of your interests and dreams
May help connect you with valuable people who can help you on your journey
Builds in time for more informal, open-ended conversations
Always imparting wisdom, even quick elevator tidbits
Completely present during conversations
Acts as a sounding board
Shares personal stories about similar experiences
Assists in thinking through next steps, aspirations, verbal goal setting by asking questions
Makes you articulate the what and why of what you are good at
Helps you to discern your own personal “big picture”
Uses simple thoughts/phrases to help you figure out your own answers, instead of telling you
what to do; teaches you self-analysis skills
Knows how to use silence effectively to help you think
Reviews/reminds you of your progress to your goals
Reassures you that it is okay to be vulnerable and ask for help when you need it
Makes sure that you have a seat at the table when opportunities come up
Introduces you to their network
Allows you to “practice” for new challenges with role-playing, mock presentations, etc.
Allows you to shadow them
Allows you to make decisions, even when they disagree with you
Stands with you through poor decisions
Challenges you to have an exit strategy
Encourages you to take risks, as long as they are well-thought out
Celebrates your successes
Non-confrontational suggestions on how to deal with your own weaknesses
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Common Complaints About Bad Mentors (What Not to Do):
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The mentor never gives timely answers to my calls.
The mentor makes me feel like I’m bothering him/her.
The mentor is too busy. The meeting is rushed.
The mentor talks over my head.
The advice is vague. I don’t know what to do afterwards.
How to Be a Good Mentee:
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Keep every appointment. If you must cancel, call as soon as possible and apologize.
Come to the meeting on time. Be prompt.
Pace the conversation to cover all of your points.
Take initiative to maintain contact.
Come prepared. Take notes. Bring your materials when helpful.
Communicate your needs.
Listen.
Be organized and use mentor’s time effectively.
Exhibit personal integrity.
Exhibit professionalism, maturity, and a strong work ethic.
Be honest about progress.
April Armstrong’s Recommendations for Improving Your Mentoring Skills:
You can read all about what it takes to be a great mentor, but being a “gold star” mentor – more than
anything else – comes from the heart. Rooting yourself first in gratitude for any mentor you’ve ever had
– whether it was someone who generously shared wisdom in a moment, or did so for months or years –
can connect you powerfully with your own “Why.” An exercise you can do is as follows:
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Think back to mentors in YOUR Life… What are their names?
What specifically was their contribution to your life?
What specific techniques did they use that were so effective?
What were the characteristics about them that made them so influential with you?
If you never had a mentor, take a few moments to root yourself in gratitude for the way you showed
yourself the way – the wisdom you discovered along the way; and to connect with what you would
deeply desire in a mentor. These answers can connect you with your “Why” and make you even more
impactful as a mentor.
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What would your older or more experienced self share with your younger or less experienced
self?
What support do you desire now even in your life from a mentor?
What would the perfect mentor look like? (there is no such thing as perfect, but envisioning the
ideal can connect you with a vision that lights you up)
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April’s experience is that allowing the mentee to select the mentor(s) work best. Her point of view is
that the mentee is ultimately responsible for the quality of their mentoring – and the mentor may or
may not come from within the organization. April encourages people to seek and find MULTIPLE
mentors in and out of one’s formal work organization.
April is a big believer most of all in CORPORATE CULTURES that actively encourage mentoring as a key
career development relationship; and empowering employees to seek out and spark their own
mentoring relationships. She is a proponent of the mentee choosing the mentor, since the value of
mentoring is in the eye of the beholder - the mentee. She is impressed with Marriott’s integration of a
mentoring experience into their senior leadership development promotional tracks – making it required
for up and coming leaders to first serve as mentors prior to being considered for senior leadership
positions. This is an interesting way to weave mentoring into the fabric of organizational culture.
If you are considering a formal mentoring program in your organization - Many companies use
databases to match mentor/mentee pairs and this can work as well. April recommends events like
‘speed dating’ to allow mentors/mentees to meet in person if possible. She encourages mentees to
meet with more than one prospective mentor before settling on one; and to term-limit the formal
mentoring period to allow exposure to multiple mentor influences. Some of these relationships are
likely to continue on of their own accord. Create a feedback loop to allow mentors and mentees to
continually shape the program.
Finally, she recommends investing in what she calls macro-mentoring as a complement to any
mentoring program. Not all mentoring has to be done one-on-one. Macro-mentoring can be
extraordinarily cost effective as many employees have similar questions. Macro-mentoring connects
“critical mass” employees with senior executives who share their career journeys, advice and
perspectives using web-platform technology. Q&A sessions can be archived in a corporate “Wisdom
Center” and made available through intranet portals. This can be a powerful attraction, retention and
leadership development investment of top caliber talent.
Resources to Support You in Becoming a Gold Star Mentor or Creating a Gold Star Mentoring Program:
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This Forbes article summarizes “How to Be a Great Mentor”
http://www.forbes.com/sites/jacquelynsmith/2013/05/17/how-to-become-a-greatmentor/2/#21caa1101b45
Here’s a really cool new model for mentoring where the younger employee mentors a senior
executive, providing BOTH with value: https://hbr.org/2010/05/mentoring-millennials
Here’s an article from Forrester research on setting up mentoring programs in companies:
http://www.bu.edu/questrom/files/2013/07/Forrester-Research-Report-Drive-EmployeeTalent-Development-Through-Business-Mentoring-Programs.pdf
Some Trivia Tidbits-- Origins of the Concept of Mentorship:
Playing a role of “Mentor” is different from that of “teacher,” “Friend/buddy”, or “Supervisor.” MerriamWebster defines “mentor” as “an experienced and trusted adviser. Dictionary.com describes the value of
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a mentor as “a trusted counselor or guide”… “who, because s/he is detached and disinterested, can hold
us a mirror to us”—P.W. Keve.
The Business Dictionary lists the following functions of a mentor:
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Teaches the mentoree about a specific issue
Coaches the mentoree on a particular skill
Facilitates the mentoree’s growth by sharing resources and networks
Challenges the mentoree to move beyond his or her comfort zone
Creates a safe learning environment for taking risks
Focuses on the mentoree’s total development
The value of a mentor is in the eye of the beholder. Emory University puts it well when it describes an
important role of the mentee:
“Recognizing help as mentoring is an important skill. It enables you to pull learning from a variety of
situations and people.”
Etymologically, the word “Mentor” is Latin, which borrowed the word from Greek, where it was the
name of a close friend of Odysseus, left to look after Odysseus' son, Telemachus, when he went away on
his Odyssey, according to Greek mythology. Mentor's name appears to be an agent noun of mentos
"intent, purpose, spirit".
Many people do not know the origins of the concept of mentoring. www.mentoringgroup.com describes
the story this way:
“The story of Mentor comes from Homer's Odyssey. Odysseus, king of Ithaca, fights in the Trojan War
and entrusts the care of his household to Mentor, who serves as teacher and overseer of Odysseus' son,
Telemachus.
After the war, Odysseus is condemned to wander vainly for ten years in his attempt to return home. In
time, Telemachus, now grown, ventures in search of his father. Athena, Goddess of War and patroness of
the arts and industry, assumes the form of Mentor and accompanies Telemachus on his quest. Father
and son reunite and cast down would-be usurpers of Odysseus' throne and Telemachus's birthright.
The word Mentor evolved to mean trusted advisor, friend, teacher and wise person. History offers many
examples of helpful mentoring relationships: Socrates and Plato, Hayden and Beethoven, Freud and Jung.
Mentoring is a fundamental form of human development where one person invests time, energy and
personal know-how in assisting the growth and ability of another person.
History and legend record the deeds of princes and kings, but each of us has a birthright to actualize our
potential. Through their deeds and work, mentors help us to move toward that actualization.”
Sage Advice from Our Own Mentors:
“Think like a person of action, act like a person of thought.”
“Regardless of what you do, be the best at it.”
“Be prepared to be wrong out loud.”
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“Treat others like you want to be treated.”
“The choices you make (including behaviors) have an impact that stretches well beyond you. It can have
an impact on many others.”
“Never let your title define you.”
“Waiting is good.”
“If you aren’t going to do something right, you might as well not do it at all.”
“If you rely solely on others, you will go only as far as they will take you. If you rely on yourself, you will
go as far as you want.”
“Never bring your boss a problem without a proposed solution to that problem.”
“Your challenge is to make that propaganda video a reality!”
“Distinguish between your circle of control and your circle of influence. Focus your energies on your
circle of control. Be aware of your sphere of influence.”
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