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Jeff Lambert Classical Studies The suffix –logy, from the Greek –logia, usually means “the study of.” Biology is the study of life. Sociology is the study of society. Psychology is the study of the mind. And so on and so on. Oddly enough, the suffix –logy in the word etiology, doesn’t exactly mean “the study of.” Rather, the whole word “etiology” means “giving a reason for.” Why is this like this? Why does that do that? These are etiologies. Today, we have a field of sciences to explain why things are the way they are or why things do what they do. We don’t fly out of roller coasters because centripetal force holds us in our seats. Planes fly because the air below the wings is moving faster than the air above. Echoes are the result of reflecting sound waves. We know these things because we’ve got the science to back it up. However, the ancient Greeks, despite their “advanced” science, couldn’t quite explain certain phenomena. I suppose it’s fitting that they came up with etiology; although, their etiologies involved fewer natural explanations and many more supernatural ones. In ancient Greece, everything was the way it was because of the gods. They didn’t have the empirical data to determine why there are four seasons or where spiders came from. They determined that Demeter must cause the seasons to change and Athena foisted spiders on the earth. There are dozens of etiological myths (the most absurd of which hold a special place in my heart. Where Horses and Olives Came From Once upon a time, in Ancient Greece, there was a new city on the sea. It was a grand city with new, cutting-edge buildings and thousands of citizens. The citizens, despite their predisposition to design and art, couldn’t for the life of them figure out what to call the city. 1 Poseidon and Athena (brother and daughter of Zeus) each wanted the city to be named after them. They made valid arguments, but the denizens of the grand city simply couldn’t make up their minds. And so, they decided to hold a contest. The god who gave them the best gift would have the city named after him or her. Poseidon gave the people four-legged animals that could plow fields, carry coaches, and carry people. Those animals would later be called horses. Athena gave the citizens a new fruit. This fruit could be eaten and produced an oil with many uses. That fruit would later be called olive. And the people decided that olives were more useful than horses. And so, the citizens named their city Athens, after Athena. ♦ And that’s where horses and olives came from. I don’t know exactly where olives and horses came from, but it’s safe to say Athena and Poseidon had nothing to do with it. Where Spiders Came From Millennia ago, in Ancient Greece, there was a woman named Arachne. Arachne could so tapestries better than any mortal. They were beautiful and intricate creations. One day she proclaimed that she could sew tapestries better than Athena, the goddess of wisdom. Athena did not take too kindly to this. And so Athena challenged Arachne to a competition. Whoever could sew the most beautiful tapestry would be the winner. Arachne accepted and the competition began. As luck would have it, Athena sewed the more beautiful tapestry. As punishment for her hubris (another Greek word), Athena turned Arachne into a small eightlegged creature. Athena, unlike most other gods, was not heartless. She left Arachne with her ability to sew tapestries, albeit small ones made of only one color. And that’s where spiders came from. ♦ Although Poseidon has had a successful movie and its remake named after him. 2 I don’t know exactly where spiders came from, but it seems unlikely that Athena came down from Olympus and turned a woman into a spider. Unlikely, but not impossible. Why There’s Pain and Suffering in the World Way back when, in Ancient Greece, there was a woman named Pandora. Pandora was created by the gods themselves. She was the perfect woman. She had every gift any woman could have. ♠ Pandora’s fatal flaw was curiosity. To test her, the gods gave her a box and didn’t tell her what was in it. Her only instruction was to never, under any circumstances, open the box. Of course, Pandora, being overly curious, couldn’t help but wonder what was in the box. So, she opened it. Every human ailment came pouring out of the box faster than she could close it. And that’s why there’s pain and suffering in the world. Rationally speaking, there is so much pain and suffering in the world because of humans. It’s just a lot easier to blame it on the gods . . . or God. Christians actually have their own version of this myth. They’re basically the same except Adam and Eve play the part of Pandora and Satan stands in for Pandora’s curiosity. This presents an interesting issue. Two completely different religions sought to explain the unexplainable. Coincidence? I think not. Why We Have to Have an Explanation for Everything Humans are social beings. We are also curious (as evidenced by Pandora and the box and Adam and Eve and the fruit). There is a reason we always want to know secrets or know what happens at the end of Lost. I won’t go as far as to say we have a biological need for information, but we at the very least have a psychological need for it. This psychological need for information varies from person to person, but it’s in everyone. Some of us need to know ♠ Pandora actually means “all gifts” in Classical Greek. Pandora is also a planet with large blue inhabitants and an online radio service. 3 which celebrity is dating which celebrity. Some of us have to figure out how an internal combustion engine works. Some of us have to absorb as many Greek myths as we can. No matter the subject or the field, everyone needs to know more about something. If humans didn’t have this psychological urge to acquire information and innovate, we’d still be in the Basal Paleolithic (aka The Stone Age). Why I am Healthily Obsessed with Greek Mythology I am driven to learn all I can about the Ancient Greeks, focusing on mythology. I more than toyed with the idea of double majoring in Anthropology and Classics when I got to college (but it’s a good thing I decided against it because they recently nixed our Classics program). Ψ There’s just something so . . . romantic about the Greek myths. Orpheus went to Hell and back (literally) to be with his love again. ♠ Menelaus led a ten year war to get his wife, the (in)famous Helen of Troy, back to Sparta. The romance doesn’t end with myth. Plato actually hypothesized that humans originally had two faces, four arms, and four legs. Zeus feared that humans would rise up against him, so he split humans in two, condemning them to a life-long struggle to complete themselves. ♥ Ancient Greece had it all: music, art, poetry, theatre, dry heat, everything anyone could ever want. It is our job, as human beings, to continue passing on the stories our ancestors told, whether it be how Apollo turned Daphne into a tree or how Aeneas invented pizza. ♣ We have Ψ I love Greek mythology so much I even came up with my own etiological myth and, while I consider it to be very Greek, I cannot bring myself to relay it to anyone. ♠ It didn’t work out, but at least he went for it. Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved before, after all. I’m sure that sentiment was a great comfort to poor Orpheus. ♥ What we refer to today as “trying to find out Soul Mate.” Who says romance is dead? ♣ It’s true. Read a book once in a while. Yeesh. 4 to preserve the culture. These stories took decades if not centuries or millennia to take proper form, the least we can do is pay respect to those ancient storytellers. The stories are not only enduring, but rich and full of adult detail.♦ Great stories deserve to be told. Why All Good Things Must Come to an End Etiology: a Greek word for a Greek idea. The Greeks may not have had the technology or scientific know-how to figure out why things were the way they were or where things came from, but at least they tried to explain it. Perhaps Pandora was the mother of all ancient Greeks. They were a very curious people. Ω ♦ The gods often punished mortals who refused to sleep with them. Io was cursed with eternal youth. Daphne was turned into a tree. I think today that would be considered overkill. Ω And they weren’t, or rather, aren’t, the only ones. Perhaps we all descended from Ancient Greeks in some way, shape, or form. I know I have a knack for storytelling. 5