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A Guide for
Separated & Divorced Parents
Working Together in the
Best Interests
of Your Children
Ground Rules
We acknowledge that each situation is unique
but we are all here to learn to support the
best interests of our children.
We all have something to share and will
participate in discussion if we feel
comfortable.
This is an educational workshop – not a
counseling session.
We will treat each other with respect,
including respecting the privacy all
individuals.
Information shared in this class is confidential
– except any information about child abuse or
neglect which MUST be reported by the
facilitator.
Facilitators
Introductions
Kelli Farell, Family Services Parent Educator
Teacher, 2003-2007
Parent, 2007-present
Michelle Asp, Family Services Professional
Family Resource Center, 2007 to Present
Community Family Support Coordinator, 1995-2003
Parents
If you feel comfortable, please tell us your first name, the ages
of your children, and what you hope to gain from this class.
Review
Your input helps us continually improve the class and how we deliver services to divorcing
parents.
Participant Review
At the end of the class tonight, please answer these questions at the and place this page in
the box as you leave. Use the back if you need more space.
What did you learn from, appreciate, or like about the class?
What, if anything, could we do to improve the class? (Remember, the
content is mandatory but how we deliver it may be adjustable.)
Welcome to Parenting Apart
Understand
Your
Role
Develop a
Parenting
Plan
Help Your
Children
Adjust
Tools to help you every step of the way
Understanding
Your Changing Roles &
Relationships
Evolving Identities
Physical Needs
Psychological Needs
•
•
•
•
• Nurturance
• Guidance
• Companionship
Food
Clothing
Shelter
Safety
Changes Related to:
Household Tasks
Family Finance
Relationships with Family & Friends
Balancing Work & Family
Being an Effective Parent
Family Values & Traditions
New Relationships
What changes have been most challenging for
you?
What changes have been most challenging for
your children?
Your Health & Wellness
emotions and stress
Dealing with the
related to divorce and separation.
Your feelings are normal.
Stress
Confusion
Grief
Depression
Anxiety
Anger
Perfectly Normal.
Positive. Powerful.
Adjust your perceptions.
Be mindful of how you label things.
You decide whether a
situation is an obstacle
or an OPPORTUNITY.
Developing Your
Parenting Plan
Capitalize on your Strengths
Parenting Methods
Parallel Parenting
Parents agree to disagree about child-rearing practices
and rules.
Requires trust in the other parent and willingness for
children to have different expectations in mom’s and dad’s
house.
Co-Parenting
Parents search for agreement in child-rearing practices
and rules.
Requires compromise and respectful communication.
Parents as Partners – A Business Plan
What “business” do you share?
What goals do you have in common?
What role does each partner play in
reaching your goals?
Are there other partners necessary to
reach your goals – childcare provider,
grandparents, counselors, etc.?
Developmental Differences
Age Considerations in Your
Parenting Plan
Developmental Differences
Kids whose
divorced parents
have a cooperative
relationship:
Feel secure.
Benefit from consistency.
Better understand problem
solving.
Have a healthy example to
follow.
Protecting your Children from Parental Conflict
Avoid criticizing your ex in front
of the children.
Do not use your children to
send messages to your ex.
Speak directly to your ex about
issues related to the children.
Avoid asking your children for
information about your ex.
Resist the desire to make your
child a confidante. Seek adult
friends, family members, or
professionals to fill this role.
Positive
• List at least 5 qualities
or characteristics that
your child’s other
parent has that can be
valued as positive
parenting qualities:
• 1
• 2
• 3
• 4
• 5
Co-Parenting Class
Communication
Notebook
Documentation
Email
Focus on Children
Don’t Use the
Children
COMMUNICATION
Counseling and
Mediation
Helping Your Children
Adjust
Adjust your Approach Based on your Children’s Needs
Children
The Experts on Divorce
Children: The Experts on Divorce
Video Reflections
• According to the children
in the video, what were
some of their fears about
the divorce?
• In what ways did the
parents make the divorce
better for their children?
• In what ways did the
parents make the divorce
more difficult for their
children?
The Good News
»Most children adjust
successfully
»Time is on your side.
»You can help ease the
transition.
Northern Lights
Family Resource Center
Information Anywhere
» Valuable resources are available on
the web; consider universities and
extension offices as reliable
resources.
» Books for children, teen, and adults
are available from your local library.
» Call us with any questions. Northern
Lights Family Resource Center, 715395-5657 or
[email protected]
What’s
YourApart.
Message?
Parenting