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Battling Depression in High Achievers/Perfectionists Candice Conner, PsyD Perfectionism: Multidimensional personality trait characterized by … *Striving for flawlessness *Setting excessively high performance standards *Having overly critical self-evaluations *Worrying about others’ evaluations Positive and negative aspects; however, research indicates that constant striving for perfection can reduce (not increase) productivity and achievement. (Flatt, G. York University) It can also lead to anxiety, depression, eating disorders, and self-injury. Perfectionism vs. High Achievers • High achievers are satisfied with doing well even if they do not meet their very high goals. • Perfectionists accept nothing less than perfection. Almost perfect is seen as failure. May become hysterical over one missed question. • Perfectionists are more critical of self and others. • High achievers are more easy going and happier. • Perfectionists set goals that are out of reach, become anxious about dreaded failure, are not able to enjoy the process. • High achievers set goals that are obtainable, enjoy the process as well as the outcome. Unhealthy Habits of Perfectionism • • • • • Procrastination – Become paralyzed with fear of not achieving perfection Defensiveness – See all comments about performance as failure Low self-esteem – Unrealistic view of self, unhappy Loss of sleep – Leads to memory and retention problems Social isolation – Due to feeling overwhelmed by expectations (self and others) • Presenting a perfect facade – Refuse to seek help when needed • Obsessive compulsive behavior – Irrational behaviors can develop around quest for perfection (i.e. inability to stop checking work for mistakes) Unhealthy Habits of Perfectionism… (continued) • Performance drugs – Adderall and other medications prescribed for the treatment of ADHD may be used illegally to increase focus. According to an FDA study (2015), prescriptions for these meds increased by 46% in past decade. Abuse of prescription stimulants can lead to depression and mood swings (from sleep deprivation), heart irregularities, and acute exhaustion or psychosis during withdrawal. Little is known about the long-term effects of abuse of stimulants among teens. • Excessive use of coffee/caffeine drinks – Increase alertness for a short period, but may cause nervousness, insomnia, irritability, anxiety . The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that adolescents should not consume more than 100 mg of caffeine a day. A Grande coffee from Starbucks has approximately 330 mg of caffeine, a 5-Hour Energy has 208 mg, and a soft drink has 50 mg. Your Perfectionistic Teen • Worry/anxiety • Lack of enjoyment in working towards goals • Loss of sleep • Low self-esteem • Overly critical of self • Social Isolation • Fear of seeking help • Obsessive compulsive behaviors • Lack of coping skills Depression: Symptoms In Adolescents May Include… Depressed mood/Sadness Irritability/anger Feeling worthless/negativity/hopeless Inability to focus Change in school attendance/performance Substance use Change in appetite/sleep patterns Loss of interest in normal activities Avoidance of social interaction Suicidal Ideation/Attempt(s) Gifted and Talented Students Gifted and talented students report problems such as: + Competiveness + Unrealistic appraisal of their gifts + Confusion due to mixed messages about their talents + Parental and social pressures to achieve + Often feel they are expected to do more and be more than their abilities allow Suicide in The United States • Suicide is the third leading cause of death of young people between the ages of 15 and 24. • 5,000 young people complete suicide in the U.S. each year. • Each day, there are approximately 12 youth suicides. • In the past 60 years, the suicide rate has quadrupled for males 15 to 24 years old, and has doubled for females of the same age. • For every completed suicide by youth, it is estimated that 100 to 200 attempts are made. Suicide and Crisis Center of North Texas (2016) Depression and Suicide 20% of the adolescent population experiences symptoms of depression at some point, according to the American Psychological Association. Of this 20%, only 30% get professional treatment for depression, leaving many teens struggling to cope without help. Adolescent males are four times more likely to commit suicide than adolescent females; however, adolescent females attempt suicide twice as often as male teens. In a given year approximately 1 out of every ten high school students report having attempted suicide (Youth Suicide Prevention Program, 2011). Suicide Risk and Substance Use •19.6 percent of young people who reported using alcohol were found to be at risk of suicide. Only 8.6 percent of young people who did not report using alcohol were at risk. •25.4 percent of young people who reported using illicit drugs were found to be at risk of suicide. Only 9.2 percent of young people who did not report using drugs were at risk. (SAMHSA, 2002) Common Characteristics of Suicide • The common stimulus for suicide is unbearable psychological pain. Conflict between survival and agonizing stress. Reduce the suffering. • The common stressor in suicide is unfulfilled psychological needs. Suicides derive from unmet needs. Address these need(s). • The common purpose of suicide is to seek a solution. Suicide is not a random act. It is a way out of a problem, dilemma, or crisis. Find answers, resolve the issue, to solve the problem. • The common emotions in suicide are hopelessness and helplessness. The common fear is that the suffering is endless. Coping skills. Common Characteristics of Suicide (cont.) • The common internal attitude toward suicide is ambivalence. A classic suicidal state is one in which the person feels that he/she has to do it, yet hopes and plans for rescue and intervention. • The common cognitive state in suicide is tunnel vision. Suicide cannot be understood as a psychosis, a neurosis, or a character disorder. It is the loss of range of options = either/or thinking. The common interpersonal act in suicide is communication of intention. It can be a cry, shout, murmur, or the nonverbal communication of something unspoken. The communication is not always for help. However, in most suicides there is some interpersonal communication related to that intended final act. Adapted from Definition of Suicide by Edwin Schneidman What Can Parents Do? Praise teen’s internal character and not external measures of character. Allow your teen to make errors and experience negative consequences. Evaluate the messages that you are giving him/her. (i.e. All A’s are bust) Focus on the importance of learning new material or a new skill, rather than on scores and/or being the best. Address irrational thinking in your teen (i.e. “I’m an awful person because I made a 68”; “I won’t get into a good college, because I’m making a C”). What Can Parents Do? (continued) Do not brush off symptoms of anxiety/depression. Seek professional help immediately. Help teen(s) engage in activities that do not involve scoring or competition. Talk to your teen about errors you (their parents) have made, so they realize that not even you are perfect. Help them understand that social media does not show all of the hardships/errors others experience. Allow them to only compare their efforts to their efforts – not to others, and you do the same. Focus on their areas of competence. Show unconditional love and acceptance. What Can Parents Do? (continued) Promote spiritual faith and/or regular church attendance Promote cultural, family values, and/or religious beliefs that affirm life and discourage suicide Teach resilience: ongoing or continuing sense of hope in the face of adversity Teach and role model frustration tolerance and emotional regulation Encourage healthy body image, care, and protection. No fat or thin talk. “Comparison is the thief of joy.” Theodore Roosevelt