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Assertiveness
Recap
• Assertiveness Profile Quiz
• Using Non-Verbal strategies (body language)
• Neuro-linguistic strategies (positive use of
language)
Adults in the school or college
• Managing situations:
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Emergencies
Disciplinary situations
First Aid supervision/coordination
Drills
• Role model:
• Safeguarding students
• Human face of the school or college
• Greater interaction
Assertiveness
DEFENSIVE BEHAVIOUR
“Behaviour to protect oneself from a
perceived threat or attack.” Freud
– passive: to shut down or withdraw
– aggressive: verbally or physically attack or
judge and blame another
– manipulative: unscrupulous control of a
situation or person
– assertive: establish clear boundaries and
express what is wanted or needed
DEFENSIVE BEHAVIOUR
 Non verbal:
Passive Forms: crossed arms and/or legs (closed or shut down
posture), rolling the eyes, shaking the head, frowning, flushed face,
refusing to speak, fidgeting, turning away, looking away, walking
away.
Aggressive Forms: slamming doors, leaning forward and glaring,
pounding a fist, throwing something.
 Verbal:
Passive forms: Quiet tones, softly spoken, hesitant, frequent pausing, starting
sentences with ‘sorry’, throat clearing.
Aggressive Forms: attacking back, denying, raising voice tone, interrupting,
dominating, repeating, swearing and name-calling, arguing, justifying, and
rationalizing.
“Aggressive behaviour is when you stand
up for your rights that ignore or dismiss
the rights of others.”
“Non assertion is when you don’t stand
up for your rights or you make it easy for
others to ignore them.”
ASSERTIVE BEHAVIOUR
Assertiveness
To stand up for your rights,
needs and beliefs in ways that
take account of those of others
My rights...and everyone else’s
I have the right to express my views, and so
do others
I have the right to say no
I have the right to be treated with respect
I have the right to be listened to
Others...have the right to support from me
To be listened to
To decline responsibility for my problems
To an explanation
Have the right to make mistakes and be
responsible for them.
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Mars and Venus
• Behaviour by gender is
influenced by the socialisation process.
• We learn society's norms about how males
and females look and act.
Fact, Sympathy and Suggestion
Technique
–de-personalise the situation
–show an element of understanding
–offer a solution
Things that help
• Stick to the facts, not opinions
• Use constructive criticism and problem-solving
phrases
• Tell students what they should be doing
• Remind
Opportunities to practice using ‘Fact,
Sympathy and Suggestion’ technique
• Smoking in a non-smoking area (college)
• Noisy in common areas
Three steps - smoking
Fact:
• This is a non-smoking area
Sympathy:
• I realise you may be short of time/it’s raining
Suggestion:
• You must either put out the cigarette or move
to the smoking area
Three steps – noise levels
Fact:
• This is a quiet area
Sympathy:
• I realise you are having fun
Suggestion:
• You must either speak in whispers or go to the
canteen/outside
The Do’s and Don’ts that help
Making a request
Do:
• Be direct and to the point
• Give a reason for the request
• Respect the other person’s right to say no
Don’t
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Apologise
Justify yourself
Sell the request with flattery
Take advantage of people’s good nature
Take refusal personally
The Do’s and Don’ts that help
Saying No
Do:
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Keep the reply brief and avoid rambling
Give a reason
Be honest about limitations/possibilities
Ask for more time to consider the request
Acknowledge the requester
Don’t
• Keep apologising
• Feel guilty for saying no
• Invent excuses