Download Effective Communication Skills

Effective Communication Skills
Lesley Spence
Zone G Chair
Communication - the act of transferring information from one
place to another. Simple until you think of the different ways in
which we communicate and then the subject becomes far more
complex.
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Verbal
Non – verbal
Written
Communication?
Senders and receivers are vital for communication to take
place.
Listen to the way the baby appears to answer the questions.
The outcome or goal for any communication process is understanding
and both parties communicate with each other, sometimes in quite
subtle ways, e.g eye contact or lack of it, body language, tone of voice,
Non-verbal signs
Hands and
arms
Eye brows
Eyes
Mouth
Posture
Head
Legs and
feet
Human beings are not passive, predictable objects who always
interpret meanings and react as they are ‘supposed to’.
Neither is communication a passive, predictable, one way event.
It is fraught with potential points of breakdown
Context
The situation in
which the
message is
delivered
Easier to establish
face to face where
the other person
can see your
expression and
gestures and hear
tone of voice
TO BE CAREFUL with my criticism
and liberal with my praise; build up
and not destroy."
• Do we celebrate and give praise for success
• How many times do we blast another's idea
• How many times are we too eager criticise.
• Fail to convey interest and respect for the
other person.
Improve Communication
• Learn to listen
• Be aware of others emotions
• Empathise
• Encourage
Difficult Conversations
• Conflict within a group can be a healthy
way of building cohesiveness but ..
• Sometimes the way we react and respond
to others can make us feel inadequate,
guilty or regretful.
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We may also feel angry and critical of
others during conversations
Being assertive - the way forward
Definition of ASSERTIVENESS
• “Assertiveness is the ability to express
your thoughts and feelings in a way that
clearly states your needs and your rights
without violating the rights of others”.
• “It involves open, honest and direct
communication between yourself and
others.”
Benefits of Adopting
Assertive Behaviour
1. Increase confidence and sense of
achievement
2. Better relationships with colleagues, friends
and members
3. Increase effectiveness through more effective
communication
4. Increase confidence handling difficult
behaviour in others
5. Reduce stress
Personal effects of NOT
being Assertive
• Resentment
• Frustration
• Anxiety
• Depression
• Relationship difficulties
• Stress-related problems
Why do we find it difficult
to be Assertive?
Affect
Your Experiences
Your Behaviour
Affect
Affect
Your Beliefs
Your Rights
Affect
Assertive Communication
• Be honest with yourself – inner dialogue
• Keep calm and stick to the point
• Be clear, specific, and direct
• Repeat your message, while listening
• Make your point and repeat your message
• Appropriate body language
• Respect rights and points of others
Parent-Adult – Child
Assertive Communication
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State your preference
- “My preference is…”
or
- “What I’d like is…”
Express your feelings
- “I feel…when…”
Disagree if appropriate
- “I disagree with you when you say…”
- “I acknowledge what you’re saying but I don’t agree…”
Say YES or NO without making excuses
- “I am unable to come to the meeting today”
Use “I” statements
Communication
Assertiveness Techniques
• Acknowledging
• Three part sentence – Behaviour –
feeling-effect
• Broken record
• Pointing out discrepancy
• Pointing out a consequence
Verbal and Non-verbal
Assertive
Open & secure
Body Language
Aggressive
Fiery, domineering
Invading space
Passive
“Victim”
Firm voice
Active
listening
Communication
Facial expression
eye contact
Ask
questions
How to say ‘No’
1 – Ask for more time
2 – Ask for more information
3 – Be definite
4 – Be honest
5 – Be brief
Summary:
Rules of Assertive behaviour
1. Respect myself
2. Recognise my own needs
3. Make clear “I” statements
4. Allow myself to make mistakes
5. It’s ok to change my mind
6. Ask for “thinking it over” time
7. Enjoy my successes
8. Ask for what I want
9. I am not responsible for others behaviour
10. Respect other people
Summary:
Top 10 Assertiveness Tips
1. Seek to solve rather than to gain
2. Challenge in a non-aggressive manner
3. Talk about your concerns and reasons
4. Acknowledge your feelings
5. Be clear, direct, and specific
6. Repeat the message, if necessary
7. Appropriate body language
8. Be calm and stick to the point
9. Respect the rights of others
10. Listen and acknowledge other’s views
Communication
It is a fact that people generally achieve no more than
25-50% accuracy in interpreting the meaning of each others
remarks.
Remember: listen, be aware of emotions, empathsise, encourage.
We don't see things as they are we see things as we are!