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Effective Communication Skills Lesley Spence Zone G Chair Communication - the act of transferring information from one place to another. Simple until you think of the different ways in which we communicate and then the subject becomes far more complex. • • • Verbal Non – verbal Written Communication? Senders and receivers are vital for communication to take place. Listen to the way the baby appears to answer the questions. The outcome or goal for any communication process is understanding and both parties communicate with each other, sometimes in quite subtle ways, e.g eye contact or lack of it, body language, tone of voice, Non-verbal signs Hands and arms Eye brows Eyes Mouth Posture Head Legs and feet Human beings are not passive, predictable objects who always interpret meanings and react as they are ‘supposed to’. Neither is communication a passive, predictable, one way event. It is fraught with potential points of breakdown Context The situation in which the message is delivered Easier to establish face to face where the other person can see your expression and gestures and hear tone of voice TO BE CAREFUL with my criticism and liberal with my praise; build up and not destroy." • Do we celebrate and give praise for success • How many times do we blast another's idea • How many times are we too eager criticise. • Fail to convey interest and respect for the other person. Improve Communication • Learn to listen • Be aware of others emotions • Empathise • Encourage Difficult Conversations • Conflict within a group can be a healthy way of building cohesiveness but .. • Sometimes the way we react and respond to others can make us feel inadequate, guilty or regretful. • We may also feel angry and critical of others during conversations Being assertive - the way forward Definition of ASSERTIVENESS • “Assertiveness is the ability to express your thoughts and feelings in a way that clearly states your needs and your rights without violating the rights of others”. • “It involves open, honest and direct communication between yourself and others.” Benefits of Adopting Assertive Behaviour 1. Increase confidence and sense of achievement 2. Better relationships with colleagues, friends and members 3. Increase effectiveness through more effective communication 4. Increase confidence handling difficult behaviour in others 5. Reduce stress Personal effects of NOT being Assertive • Resentment • Frustration • Anxiety • Depression • Relationship difficulties • Stress-related problems Why do we find it difficult to be Assertive? Affect Your Experiences Your Behaviour Affect Affect Your Beliefs Your Rights Affect Assertive Communication • Be honest with yourself – inner dialogue • Keep calm and stick to the point • Be clear, specific, and direct • Repeat your message, while listening • Make your point and repeat your message • Appropriate body language • Respect rights and points of others Parent-Adult – Child Assertive Communication • • • • • • • • • • State your preference - “My preference is…” or - “What I’d like is…” Express your feelings - “I feel…when…” Disagree if appropriate - “I disagree with you when you say…” - “I acknowledge what you’re saying but I don’t agree…” Say YES or NO without making excuses - “I am unable to come to the meeting today” Use “I” statements Communication Assertiveness Techniques • Acknowledging • Three part sentence – Behaviour – feeling-effect • Broken record • Pointing out discrepancy • Pointing out a consequence Verbal and Non-verbal Assertive Open & secure Body Language Aggressive Fiery, domineering Invading space Passive “Victim” Firm voice Active listening Communication Facial expression eye contact Ask questions How to say ‘No’ 1 – Ask for more time 2 – Ask for more information 3 – Be definite 4 – Be honest 5 – Be brief Summary: Rules of Assertive behaviour 1. Respect myself 2. Recognise my own needs 3. Make clear “I” statements 4. Allow myself to make mistakes 5. It’s ok to change my mind 6. Ask for “thinking it over” time 7. Enjoy my successes 8. Ask for what I want 9. I am not responsible for others behaviour 10. Respect other people Summary: Top 10 Assertiveness Tips 1. Seek to solve rather than to gain 2. Challenge in a non-aggressive manner 3. Talk about your concerns and reasons 4. Acknowledge your feelings 5. Be clear, direct, and specific 6. Repeat the message, if necessary 7. Appropriate body language 8. Be calm and stick to the point 9. Respect the rights of others 10. Listen and acknowledge other’s views Communication It is a fact that people generally achieve no more than 25-50% accuracy in interpreting the meaning of each others remarks. Remember: listen, be aware of emotions, empathsise, encourage. We don't see things as they are we see things as we are!