Download MDR part 2 - Vegas Drive Church of Christ

Understanding
marriage and divorce
Biblical studies and
concepts
Framing the discussion
Marriage was instituted from creation for all men and
women
 God (not man) determines eligibility for marriage
 The law sets limitations on who may marry whom
 A bond initiated by God makes two people one
 The marriage bond is present until death, or until
God (not man) removes the bond
 Unlawful sexual acts, infidelity defile a marriage and
reflect a disregard for the gift of God
 God hates divorce
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The marriage bond
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Rom. 7:1-3 - “For the married woman is
bound by law to her husband while he is
living; but if her husband dies, she is released
from the law concerning the husband. So
then, if while her husband is living she is
joined to another man, she shall be called an
adulteress…”
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“Negative” component – exclusive (joined in
context refers to marriage, Mtt. 19:5-6)
“Positive” component – the law binds to a spouse,
refers to more than sexual activity
Not limited to no adultery
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The husband is commanded to:
Live with his wife in an understanding way,
I Peter 3:7
 Love their wives and do not be embittered
against them, Col. 3:19
 Love their wives as their own bodies, Eph.
5:28
 Love their wives as Christ loved the church,
Eph. 5:25
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Not limited to no adultery
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The wife is commanded to:
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Mutual responsibility
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Be submissive to their own husbands, I Peter 3:1
1 Cor 7:3-4 – “The husband must fulfill his duty to
his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband.
The wife does not have authority over her own body,
but the husband does; and likewise also the husband
does not have authority over his own body, but the
wife does.”
I can “violate” the marriage bond without ever
physically committing a sexual act!
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Is faithfulness defined by sexual fidelity alone?
Distinction between violating bond and defiling it!
The marriage bond
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Can a spouse leave but not remarry?
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1 Cor 7:10-11 – “But to the married I give
instructions, not I, but the Lord, that the wife should
not leave her husband (but if she does leave, she
must remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her
husband), and that the husband should not divorce
his wife.”
Context: an unbelieving spouse and a “present
distress”
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1 Cor 7:15 – “Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him
leave; the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such
cases, but God has called us to peace.” – Bondage –
“obligation”, not referring to the “marriage bond”, see v. 16
The marriage bond
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I Corinthians 7 scenario
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“Let not the wife leave… but if she does”
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Why can she be reconciled? Deut. 24:4, Heb. 13:4
Could there have been scenarios where a woman had to
leave her husband during the “present distress?”
“Yet if the unbelieving leaves…”
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“Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave; the brother
or the sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God
has called us to peace. For how do you know, O wife,
whether you will save your husband? Or how do you
know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?”
No mention of remarriage or of the removal of the marriage
bond
The marriage bond
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The “prevailing principle”
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Mark 2:25-28 – “And He said to them, ‘Have you never read
what David did when he was in need and he and his
companions became hungry; how he entered the house of
God in the time of Abiathar the high priest, and ate the
consecrated bread, which is not lawful for anyone to eat
except the priests, and he also gave it to those who were
with him?" Jesus said to them, ‘The Sabbath was
made for man, and not man for the Sabbath. So the
Son of Man is Lord even of the Sabbath.”
1 John 5:3-4 – “For this is the love of God, that we keep His
commandments; and His commandments are not
burdensome.” (Not designed to our detriment)
The marriage bond
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Before we make the judgment:
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Would we require our own family member to remain?
Does “turning the other cheek” refer to allowing someone to
physically damage you or your children?
For what reasons does God expect us to lay down our lives?
Even the apostles allowed the option of self-defense (Luke
22:36-38)
Was Paul or Peter forbidden from escaping from civil
authorities in the face of danger/death?
Example and inference teaches us that leaving an
abusive marriage is not a violation of the marriage
bond – but neither does it end the marriage bond!
The marriage bond
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The distinction which must be made
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Circumstances may require that a spouse leave, or
allow a spouse to leave
This is not God’s will – but it is sometimes beyond
our control
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Rom 12:18 – “If possible, so far as it depends on you, be
at peace with all men.” – some will simply not allow peace!
Our choices are to remain unmarried (or apart) or be
reconciled
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Man does not have the authority to “put asunder” what
“God has joined together”, Mtt. 19:6
Is this burdensome? Jesus’ comments in Matt 19:12 –
“…and there are also eunuchs who made themselves
eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven.”
The marriage bond
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Why doesn’t the marriage bond end in these
cases?
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Man does not have the authority to “put asunder”
what “God has joined together”, Mtt. 19:6
Authority must come through the law – that which
binds husband to wife (Rom. 7)
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Woman is bound “by law” to her husband
Her husband dies, she is released from law – because the
law no longer governs her relationship, not because she
chose to sever that bond herself!
The marriage bond
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If a bond still exists, does God not recognize the
divorce?
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Deut 24:1-4 – “When a man takes a wife and marries
her … and he writes her a certificate of divorce …
and if the latter husband turns against her and writes
her a certificate of divorce … then her former
husband who sent her away is not allowed to
take her again to be his wife, since she has been
defiled;”
John 4:15 – “You have had FIVE husbands”
Mtt. 19:9 – Divorce, remarriage acknowledged
though not condoned
Marriage is God’s institution; divorce is man’s!
The marriage bond
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Discussions of marriage, divorce and remarriage
must start with the holy nature of marriage and
the bond it creates
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To put away “lightly” is to treat a holy thing as
common, adultery or not
Do we treat our marriages like we treat our own
bodies?
Man can leave his spouse, but he cannot remove the
bond established by marriage
Scriptures – Romans 7:1-3
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“Or do you not know, brethren (for I am speaking to
those who know the law), that the law has
jurisdiction over a person as long as he lives? For the
married woman is bound by law to her husband while
he is living; but if her husband dies, she is released
from the law concerning the husband. So then, if
while her husband is living she is joined to
another man, she shall be called an adulteress;
but if her husband dies, she is free from the
law, so that she is not an adulteress though she is
joined to another man.”
Scriptures – Romans 7:1-3
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Context, v. 4
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Rom 7:4 – “Therefore, my brethren, you also were made to
die to the Law through the body of Christ, so that you might
be joined to another”
Subject is NOT marriage and divorce, but rather being
bound to the law
The fact that no exception is included here is not intended to
teach that the bond of marriage can be broken only by
death, but to give an example of how a man must “die” to
the law in order to be free from it.
A woman is free to remarry when there is no bond already
in place – if the Law is that which determines, then the Law
dictates what if any exceptions there may be
Scriptures – Matt. 19:3-7
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“Some Pharisees came to Jesus, testing Him
and asking, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce
his wife for any reason at all?" And He
answered and said, "Have you not read that
He who created them from the beginning
MADE THEM MALE AND FEMALE, and said,
'FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS
FATHER AND MOTHER AND BE JOINED TO
HIS WIFE, AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME
ONE FLESH'? "So they are no longer two, but
one flesh. What therefore God has joined
together, let no man separate.”
Scriptures – Matt. 19:3-7
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“He who created them from the beginning
MADE THEM MALE AND FEMALE,” and said,
'FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS
FATHER AND MOTHER AND BE JOINED TO
HIS WIFE, AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME
ONE FLESH'?”
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Male and female, created separately and
distinctively for the purpose of comprising two
parts of the marriage bond
Marriage designed, instituted by God, NOT by man
No provision or authority for same-sex marriage
Scriptures – Matt. 19:3-7
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“So they are no longer two, but one flesh.
What therefore God has joined together, let
no man separate.”
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God joins any who enter into a marriage
relationship – man does not create the bond
The marriage bond creates a union that is by
definition permanent
Man does not have authority to dissolve the bonds
of marriage
Scriptures – Matt. 19:7-8
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“He said to them, ‘Because of your hardness
of heart Moses permitted you to divorce your
wives; but from the beginning it has not been
this way.’”
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Regardless of the reason God allowed divorce
under the law of Moses, Jesus appeals not to the
law as the rule of marriage, but to the beginning
Because these men were under the law, we can
conclude that the provision for divorce was not
sanction of divorce or remarriage, and that they
did not supercede God’s original marriage law
Scriptures – Matt. 19:7-8
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“He said to them, ‘Because of your hardness
of heart Moses permitted you to divorce your
wives; but from the beginning it has not been
this way.’”
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Regardless of the reason God allowed divorce
under the law of Moses, Jesus appeals not to the
law as the rule of marriage, but to the beginning
Because these men were under the law, we can
conclude that the provision for divorce was not
sanction of divorce or remarriage, and that they
did not supercede God’s original marriage law
Scriptures – Matt. 19:8-9
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“And I say to you, whoever divorces his
wife, except for immorality, and
marries another woman commits
adultery."
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“immorality” – fornication, includes all
sexual sin
“and marries another” – adultery occurs
not at divorce but at remarriage
Scriptures – Matt. 5:31-32
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31 "It was said, 'WHOEVER SENDS HIS WIFE
AWAY, LET HIM GIVE HER A CERTIFICATE OF
DIVORCE'; but I say to you that everyone who
divorces his wife, except for the reason of
unchastity, makes her commit adultery; and
whoever marries a divorced woman commits
adultery.”
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“Chastity” - porneia
“makes her commit adultery” – consistency
suggests the same rule as Mtt. 19:9
Scriptures – Mark 10:11-12
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“And He said to them, ‘Whoever
divorces his wife and marries another
woman commits adultery against her;
and if she herself divorces her husband
and marries another man, she is
committing adultery.”
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Man or woman, law is equally applied in
both cases
Scriptures – I Cor. 7
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Context
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v. 26 – “I think then that this is good in view of the present
distress, that it is good for a man to remain as he is.”
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Barnes - [For the present distress] In the present state of
trial. The word "distress" anangkeen, necessity) denotes
calamity, persecution, trial, etc.; see Luke 21:23. The word
rendered "present" enestoosan denotes that which "urges on,"
or that which at that time presses on, or afflicts. Here it is
implied:
If the Epistle was written about 59 A.D. (see the introduction),
it was in the time of Nero; and probably he had already begun
to oppress and persecute Christians. At all events, it is evident
that the Christians at Corinth were subject to some trials which
rendered the cares of the marriage life undesirable
Scriptures – I Cor. 7
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Context
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v. 26 – “I think then that this is good in view of the present
distress, that it is good for a man to remain as he is.”
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Clarke - The word anangkee signifies, necessity, distress,
tribulation, and calamity; as it does in Luke 21:23; 2 Cor 6:4;
and 12:10. In such times, when the people of God had no
certain dwelling-place, when they were lying at the mercy of
their enemies without any protection from the state-the state
itself often among the persecutors-he who had a family to care
for, would find himself in very
V. 32-34 – “But I want you to be free from concern. One who
is unmarried is concerned about the things of the Lord, how
he may please the Lord; but one who is married is concerned
about the things of the world, how he may please his wife,
and his interests are divided.”
Scriptures – I Cor. 7:10-11
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Yet not I, but the Lord
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V. 10-11 – “But to the married I give instructions, not I, but
the Lord, that the wife should not leave her husband (but if
she does leave, she must remain unmarried, or else be
reconciled to her husband), and that the husband should
not divorce his wife.”
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Neither “present distress” nor religious differences should
warrant dissolution of marriage
Not a “separation”, “leaving” is an actual divorce proceeding
If one leaves, they must remain unmarried or be reconciled
NOTE: the second part of the verse does NOT nullify the
first, it merely keeps from compounding the sin
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“God hates divorce” (Mal. 2:16), not “God hates divorce and
remarriage”
Scriptures – I Cor. 7
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Yet I, NOT the Lord
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v. 6-7 – “But this I say by way of concession, not of
command. Yet I wish that all men were even as I myself am.
However, each man has his own gift from God, one in this
manner, and another in that.”
1 Cor 7:12 – “But to the rest I say, not the Lord…”
1 Cor 7:25 – “Now concerning virgins I have no command of
the Lord, but I give an opinion as one who by the mercy of
the Lord is trustworthy.”
1 Cor 7:40 – “But in my opinion she is happier if she remains
as she is; and I think that I also have the Spirit of God”
By definition, Paul uses this only in applications which
are not covered by direct command, and that
behavior must be considered sanctioned!
Scriptures – I Cor. 7:12-14
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1 Cor 7:12-13 – “But to the rest I say, not the Lord,
that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever,
and she consents to live with him, he must not
divorce her. And a woman who has an unbelieving
husband, and he consents to live with her, she must
not send her husband away.”
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Set-up to his point – this is perfectly in agreement with what
he’s already told them about divorce
Marriage vow is sacred even when not all parties are
believing – the bond is still created
Assumption: if you were “called” in this condition”, indicates
that the person was married before they became a Christian,
and their marriage was still in force – I.e. they were not
considered “unmarried” in God’s eyes
Scriptures – I Cor. 7:12-14
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1 Cor 7:14 – “For the unbelieving husband is sanctified
through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified
through her believing husband; for otherwise your
children are unclean, but now they are holy.”
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NT:37 a(gia/zw hagiazo (hag-ee-ad'-zo); from NT:40; to make
holy, i.e. (ceremonially) purify or consecrate; (mentally) to
venerate: KJV - hallow, be holy, sanctify.
Matt 23:17-19 - “Which is more important, the gold or the
temple that sanctified the gold? … which is more important, the
offering, or the altar that sanctifies the offering?” – the
temple/altar are what makes the offering conform to God’s
purpose
1 Tim 4:4-5 – “For everything created by God is good … for it is
sanctified by means of the word of God and prayer.”
Scriptures – I Cor. 7:12-14
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My take:
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Note: scripture does not say “the marriage” is sanctified, but
rather the spouse
The offering is sanctified (acceptable, appropriate reserved
for a holy purpose) when it is in the proper context
An husband/wife is sanctified in the same way – when he is
fulfilling the role for which he was created by God
Not referring to an overall sanctification, as Christians are
sanctified (Acts 26:18, I Cor. 1:2) – otherwise the marriage
bond would be a means of attaining salvation
The children would be unholy (illegitimate?) but now they
are holy. Again, this conforms to God’s plan and is pleasing
to Him.
Scriptures – I Cor. 7:12-14
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BARNES: “And the OBJECT of this statement seems
to be, to meet an objection which might exist in the
mind … "Shall I not be POLLUTED by such a
connection? Shall I not be defiled, in the eye of God,
by living in a close union with a pagan, a sinner, an
enemy of God, and an opposer of the gospel?"
(Haggai 2:11-13) This objection was natural, and is,
doubtless, often felt. To this the apostle replies, "No;
the contrary may be true. The connection produces a
species of sanctification, or diffuses a kind of holiness
over the unbelieving party by the believing party, so
far as to render their children holy, and therefore it is
improper to seek for a separation.”
Scriptures – I Cor. 7:12-14
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“… all that we are required to understand here is,
that the unbelieving husband was sanctified "in
regard to the subject under discussion;" that is, in
regard to the question whether it was proper for
them to live together, or whether they should be
separated or not. And the sense may be, "They are
by the marriage tie one flesh. They are indissolubly
united by the ordinance of God. As they are one by
his appointment, as they have received his sanction
to the marriage union, and as one of them is holy, so
the other is to be regarded as sanctified, or made so
holy by the divine sanction to the union, that it is
proper for them to live together in the marriage
relation.”
Scriptures – I Cor. 7:15-16
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“Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave; the
brother or the sister is not under bondage in such
cases, but God has called us to peace. For how do
you know, O wife, whether you will save your
husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether
you will save your wife?”
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“leave” – would seem to imply a divorce
“under bondage” – the question is, bondage to what? Is this
referring to the marriage bond being severed?
V. 16 – key, indicates that “bondage” refers to an obligation
to keep the spouse, not allow them to be no longer
sanctified
Scriptures – I Cor. 7:39-40
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“A wife is bound as long as her husband lives; but if
her husband is dead, she is free to be married to
whom she wishes, only in the Lord.”
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Rom. 14:14 – “Convinced in the Lord”
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Rom. 16:12 – “Receive in the Lord”
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Rom. 16:22 – “greet in the Lord”
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I Cor. 1:31 – “Boast in the Lord”
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I Cor. 7:22 – “Called in the Lord”
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I Cor. 11:11 – Men and women dependent “in the Lord”
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Eph. 6:11 – “a faithful minister in the Lord”
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Should be understood: “in the Lord” means acceptable to
the Lord, approved by the Lord – doesn’t say “can’t remarry
Specific commands
Marriage
relationship to be honored, undefiled by sexual
immorality, Heb. 13:4
Adulterers (infidelity), fornicators (sexual impurity) condemned in
marriage, Heb. 13:4
A wife is bound to the husband as long as he lives, Rom. 7:1-3,
and marrying another man makes her an adulteress while he lives
What God has joined together, let not man separate, Mtt. 19:3-6
Whoever divorces his wife except for immorality and marries
another woman commits adultery, Mtt. 19:9
Whoever divorces his wife except for fornication makes her
commit adultery, Mtt. 5:31-32
Marriage and divorce law applied both to men and women, Mark
10:11-12
One who divorces (departs) for unscriptural reasons must remain
unmarried or be reconciled to the spouse, I Cor. 7:10-11
Applicable principles
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Marriage defined as between two living people, Mtt. 22:29-30
Marriage bond is established by the law, and is present as long
as the two parties are subject to that law. The law determines
when/if that bond may be dissolved, Rom. 7:1-3
Marriage was established by God from the beginning as being
between a man and a woman, and the original intent
supercedes any following accommodations or instances which
God has “suffered”, Mtt. 19:3-8
A spouse is not responsible for the other’s unwillingness to
remain married (I Cor. 7:15-16) and is not obligated to continue
attempting to live as husband and wife. (NOTE: no mention of
remarriage or the severing of the marriage bond)
Necessary inferences
if a marriage bond is separated, it must be done by God, Mtt. 19:36, Rom. 7:1-3
Since God created marriage for ALL men, then God is involved in
ALL marriages
Marriage is by definition a divine institution – just as man has an
inherent responsibility to obey God, he has an inherent
responsibility to submit to God’s marriage institution, Mtt. 19:37
Herod was condemned for adulterous marriage despite not being a
Jew – the law was applied to him, as it is applied to all men,
believers or non-believers
Because no one can be forced into sin, Mtt. 5:31-32 must either
mean that the divorced woman would be “considered” an
adulteress, or that the verse assumes a remarriage which would
be unlawful – consistency suggests the latter in agreement with
Mtt. 19:9
Necessary inferences
Divorce and adultery are two distinct actions, Mtt. 19:9
If baptism does not dissolve/annul a scriptural marriage
(I Cor. 7:12-14), it also would not dissolve/annul an
unscriptural one?
Outstanding questions
Can someone leave a marriage without sin?
 Is adultery a one-time act or a relationship?
 When is a marriage bond separated, and by whom?
 Discuss the Mosaic law on marriage and divorce.
(including provisions for remarriage)
 How could God have allowed a woman/man to
remarry under the law when he does not approve it?
 Can a man and woman remarry to one another after
they have been put away scripturally?
 Does Matthew 5:31-32 refer to ANY divorced
woman? The divorced woman in question? An
unscripturally divorced woman?
 Can only one party be bound to a marriage?
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Is marriage “just for Christians?
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“For Herod himself had sent and had John
arrested and bound in prison on account of
Herodias, the wife of his brother Philip,
because he had married her. For John had
been saying to Herod, "It is not lawful for you
to have your brother's wife."
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Herodias was the wife of her half-uncle, Herod
Philip I, but she left him to marry another halfuncle his brother, Herod Antipas. Herod Antipas
was already married to the daughter of Aretas,
king of Arabia, but he sent this wife away.
(Wycliffe)
Scriptures – Mark 6:17-19
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Who were the Herods? (Nelson)
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The Herodian dynasty made its way into Palestine
through Antipater, an Idumean by descent. The
Idumeans were of Edomite stock as
descendants of Esau.
Herod Antipas (4 B.C.- A.D. 39). Antipas,
another of Herod the Great's sons, began as
tetrarch over Galilee and Perea. Herod Antipas
was first married to the daughter of Aretas, an
Arabian king of Petrae. But he became infatuated
with Herodias, the wife of his half-brother, Philip I.
The two eloped together, although both were
married at the time.
Scriptures – Mark 6:17-19
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Who were the Herods? (Unger)
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By conquest John Hyrcanus brought the
Idumaeans into the Jewish state about 130
B.C., and as they conformed to the Jewish
rite of circumcision they embraced the
Jewish religion. However, the Jews
regarded the Idumaeans with considerable
suspicion and prejudice, calling them "half
Jews" (Ant. 14.15 .2). J
Can one leave a marriage
without sinning?
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Common duties
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Eph 5:22-25 - 22 aWives, bbe subject to your own husbands,
cas to the Lord. … Husbands, love your wives..”
Col 3:18-19 - 18 aWives, bbe subject to your husbands, as is
fitting in the Lord. 19 aHusbands, love your wives and do not
be embittered against them.
Mal 2:15-16 Take heed then to your spirit, and let no one
deal ctreacherously against the wife of your youth. 16
"For 1I hate 2adivorce," says the Lord , the God of
Israel, "and 3him who covers his garment with 4bwrong,“
1 Cor 7:3-5 - The husband must 1fulfill his duty to his wife,
and likewise also the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does
not have authority over her own body, but the husband
does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority
over his own body, but the wife does.
Can one leave a marriage
without sinning?
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1 Cor 7:10-11 10 But to the married I give instructions, anot I,
but the Lord, that the wife should not 1leave her husband 11
(but if she does leave, she must remain unmarried, or else be
reconciled to her husband), and that the husband should not
1divorce his wife.
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1 Cor 7:12-14 - 12 But to the rest aI say, not the Lord, that if
any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents
to live with him, he must not 1divorce her. 13 And a woman who
has an unbelieving husband, and he consents to live with her,
she must not 1send her husband away.

NOTE: most of the bans on divorce have to do with putting
someone away, with the attitude of forsaking duties – not in
response to a threat or a spouse’s decision to habitually violate
his/her responsibilities
Can one leave a marriage
without sinning?
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The “prevailing principle”
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Mark 2:25-28 - 25 And He *said to them, "Have you never
read what David did when he was in need and he and his
companions became hungry; 26 how he entered the house
of God in the time of aAbiathar the high priest, and ate the
1consecrated bread, which bis not lawful for anyone to eat
except the priests, and he also gave it to those who were
with him?" 27 Jesus said to them, "aThe Sabbath 1was made
2for man, and bnot man 2for the Sabbath. 28 "So the Son of
Man is Lord even of the Sabbath.“
1 John 5:3-4 3 For athis is the love of God, that we bkeep
His commandments; and cHis commandments are not
burdensome. (Not designed to our detriment)
Does God need to give us specific authority to preserve our
own lives? Was Paul or Peter forbidden from escaping from
Can one leave a marriage
without sinning?

Leaving a marriage to escape abuse




Would we require our own family member to remain?
Does “turning the other cheek” refer to allowing someone to
physically damage you or your children?
For what reasons does God expect us to lay down our lives?
An inference can be made that it is acceptable to leave for
spousal abuse (and not remarry), not a necessary one? No
specific instruction, but we have to be in mind of the
position it puts us in when we condemn someone to suffer
abuse due to our interpretation
Can one leave a marriage
without sinning?

Leaving a marriage to escape abuse




Would we require our own family member to remain?
Does “turning the other cheek” refer to allowing someone to
physically damage you or your children?
For what reasons does God expect us to lay down our lives?
An inference can be made that it is acceptable to leave for
spousal abuse (and not remarry), not a necessary one? No
specific instruction, but we have to be in mind of the
position it puts us in when we condemn someone to suffer
abuse due to our interpretation
Is adultery a one-time act?

What is adultery?



Willful sexual intercourse with someone other than one's
husband or wife. (Nelson’s)
ADULTERER (Vines) - 1. moichos (moixo/$, NT:3432)
denotes one "who has unlawful intercourse with the spouse
of another," Luke 18:11; 1 Cor 6:9; Heb 13:4.
2. moichalis "an adulteress," is used (a) in the natural
sense, 2 Peter 2:14; Rom 7:3; (b) in the spiritual sense,
James 4:4; As in Israel the breach of their relationship with
God through their idolatry, was described as "adultery" or
"harlotry" (e. g., Ezek 16:15, etc.; 23:43), so believers who
cultivate friendship with the world, thus breaking their
spiritual union with Christ, are spiritual "adulteresses,"
having been spiritually united to Him as wife to husband,
Rom 7:4.
Is adultery a one-time act?

Physical adultery is a “type” of spiritual adultery



2 Cor 11:1-4 – “I wish that you would abear with me in a
little bfoolishness; but 1indeed you are bearing with me. 2
For I am jealous for you with a godly jealousy; for I
abetrothed you to one husband, so that to Christ I might
bpresent you as a pure virgin.
Jer 9:2-3 – “Oh that I had in the desert A wayfarers' lodging
place; That I might leave my people And go from them! For
all of them are badulterers, An assembly of ctreacherous
men. "They abend their tongue like their bow; Lies and not
truth prevail in the land; For they bproceed from evil to evil,
And they cdo not know Me," declares the Lord.”
Spiritual adultery involved violating the covenant relationship
with God, whether idolatry (Hosea 4:12-13) or immorality.
Is adultery a one-time act?

Jeremiah 23 – turning back from adultery



V. 14 – “Also among the prophets of Jerusalem I have seen a
ahorrible thing: The committing of badultery and walking in
falsehood; And they strengthen the hands of cevildoers, So that
no one has turned back from his wickedness.
V. 16-17 – “Thus says the Lord of hosts, Do not listen to the
words of the prophets who are prophesying to you. They are
bleading you into futility; … "They keep saying to those who
adespise Me, 'The Lord has said, "bYou will have peace"'; And as
for everyone who walks in the cstubbornness of his own heart,
They say, 'dCalamity will not come upon you.‘
V. 22 - "But if they had astood in My council, Then they would
have bannounced My words to My people, And would have
turned them back from their evil way And from the evil of their
deeds.”
Is adultery a one-time act?

Is the cure for physical adultery the same?



1 Cor 6:9-11 – “Or ado you not know that the unrighteous will
not binherit the kingdom of God? cDo not be deceived; dneither
fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor 1effeminate, nor
homosexuals, 10 nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards,
nor revilers, nor swindlers, will ainherit the kingdom of God. 11
aSuch were some of you”
Does salvation purify the sinner or the sin? If I continue to drink
is drunkenness now acceptable? Compare to Acts 26:20; I Peter
2:1-9
“In whatever state”, I Cor. 7:17-24


1 Cor 7:19 – “but what matters is bthe keeping of the
commandments of God.”
If the bonds of a scriptural marriage are not annulled, why are they
annulled when one or both parties is in adultery?
Marriage and divorce under
Moses

Spousal impurity (clarifies reason for divorce in ch. 24?)




Deut 22:13-15 "aIf any man takes a wife and goes in to her and
then 1turns against her, 14 and charges her with shameful deeds
and 1publicly defames her, and says, 'I took this woman, but
when I came near her, I did not find her a virgin,…”
If innocent, v. 19 - And she shall remain his wife; he cannot
2divorce her all his days.
If guilty, v. 21 - then they shall bring out the girl to the doorway
of her father's house, and the men of her city shall stone her 1to
death because she has acommitted an act of folly in Israel by
playing the harlot in her father's house;
Deut. 24 cannot be talking about pre-marital infidelity, as this is
discussed in ch. 22 with no mention of divorce
Marriage and divorce under
Moses

Adultery


Lev 20:10 - 'If there is a man who commits adultery with another
man's wife, one who commits adultery with his friend's wife, the
adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death.
Deut. 22:21 – punishment for fornication applied to women upon
complaint by the husband

Lev 19:20-21- 'Now if a man lies carnally with a woman who is a
slave acquired for another man, but who has in no way been
redeemed nor given her freedom, there shall be punishment;
they shall not, however, be put to death, because she was
not free.

Levites: Lev 21:7 - They shall not take a woman who is
profaned by harlotry, nor shall they take a woman divorced
from her husband; for he is holy to his God.”
Marriage and divorce under
Moses

The law on divorce

Deut 24:1-4 – “When a man takes a wife and marries her, and it
happens 1that she finds no favor in his eyes because he has
found some aindecency in her, and bhe writes her a certificate of
divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out from his house,
2 and she leaves his house and goes and becomes another man's
wife, 3 and if the latter husband 1turns against her and writes
her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her
out of his house, or if the latter husband dies who took her to be
his wife, 4 then her aformer husband who sent her away is
not allowed to take her again to be his wife, since she has
been defiled; for that is an abomination before the Lord , and
you shall not bring sin on the land which the Lord your God
gives you as an inheritance.”

Note – the law acknowledges divorce, doesn’t prescribe it.

Note – likely not referring to sexual immorality
Marriage and divorce under
Moses

Moses neither institutes nor enjoins divorce. The exact
spirit of the passage is given in our Lord's words to the
Jews', "Moses because of the hardness of your hearts
suffered you to put away your wives" (Matt 19:8). Not
only does the original institution of marriage as recorded
by Moses (Gen 2:24) set forth the perpetuity of the bond,
but the verses before us plainly intimate that divorce,
while tolerated for the time, contravenes the order of
nature and of God. The divorced woman who marries
again is "defiled" (Deut 24:4), and is grouped in this
particular with the adulteress (compare Lev 18:20).
(Barnes)
Marriage and divorce under
Moses

How could God have allowed a woman/man to remarry
under the law when he does not approve it?






No statement in Law of Moses that remarriage is not sinful
A woman divorced and remarried (not for adultery?) considered
defiled, Deut. 24
Levites not to take a divorced woman in marriage, or a harlot,
Lev. 21:7
God hates divorce, Mal. 2:13-16, and yet it is acknowledged, but
not commanded and the law does not make provisions for it
Divorce violates God’s original intent of marriage (Mtt. 19), and
yet is acknowledged in the law
The Israelites naming a king was a rejection of God (I Sam. 8:78), and yet the law makes provisions for it (Deut. 17:14-15)
Marriage and divorce under
Moses

Can two remarry to one another scriptural divorce?




Mtt. 19 – “and marries another woman”
Old law: “then her aformer husband who sent her away is not
allowed to take her again to be his wife, since she has been
defiled; for that is an abomination before the Lord , and you shall
not bring sin on the land which the Lord your God gives you as
an inheritance.”
Paul, 1 Cor 7:10-11 – “But to the married I give instructions, anot
I, but the Lord, that the wife should not 1leave her husband 11
(but if she does leave, she must remain unmarried, or else be
reconciled to her husband), and that the husband should not
1divorce his wife.”
Reconciliation can be taught clearly if there has not been a
second spouse; I would not recommend it otherwise
What about a scriptural
divorce?

Matt 5:31-32 – “It was said, 'aWHOEVER SENDS HIS WIFE AWAY,
LET HIM GIVE HER A CERTIFICATE OF DIVORCE'; abut I say to you
that everyone who 1divorces his wife, except for the reason of
unchastity, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a
2divorced woman commits adultery.”

Matt 19:9 – “And I say to you, awhoever 1divorces his wife, except
for 2immorality, and marries another woman 3commits adultery4.”

Mark 10:11-12 – “And He *said to them, "aWhoever 1divorces his
wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her; and
aif she herself 1divorces her husband and marries another man, she
is committing adultery.”

Luke 16:18 – “Everyone who 1divorces his wife and marries another
commits adultery, and he who marries one who is 2divorced from a
husband commits adultery.”

All refer to what happens in the case of an unauthorized divorce
What about a scriptural
divorce?

Matt 5:31-32 – “It was said, 'aWHOEVER SENDS HIS WIFE AWAY,
LET HIM GIVE HER A CERTIFICATE OF DIVORCE'; but I say to you
that everyone who 1divorces his wife, except for the reason of
unchastity, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a
2divorced woman commits adultery.”



Context – no “innocent” divorce. An adulterous woman was guilty of
death under the law
Context – divorce “for any cause”
Luke 16:18 – “Everyone who 1divorces his wife and marries another
commits adultery, and he who marries one who is 2divorced from a
husband commits adultery.”

Note that he gives no exception clause for the one who divorces, but
instead makes a general statement – has to be possible that the second
statement is also general rather than absolute
What about a scriptural
divorce?

Matt 5:31-32 – “It was said, 'WHOEVER SENDS HIS WIFE AWAY, LET HIM
GIVE HER A CERTIFICATE OF DIVORCE'; but I say to you that everyone who
1divorces his wife, except for the reason of unchastity, makes her commit
adultery; and whoever marries a 2divorced woman commits adultery.”

Note the first part: same reasoning as Mtt. 19:9 – should we conclude that if it is
for unchastity, then he does NOT make her commit adultery? Does everyone who
divorces his wife FOR the reason of unchastity NOT make her commit adultery?


Response: the spouse would not have been “caused to commit adultery” by the husband
because she had already committed adultery. This is certainly possible, but precludes
the possibility that the author refers to the spouse’s eventual remarriage
If ANY person marrying a divorced woman commits adultery, does this not imply
that a divorced woman would also be committing adultery under any
circumstances? Can this EVER be the case?


In this case, the second statement would be a general statement, again assuming that
the divorce took place for “unscriptural reasons” – otherwise a divorced woman would
be caused to commit adultery with NO exception
Mk 10:11 is a general statement, does not include exception, so we cannot assume this
means “under every circumstance” simply because an exception is omitted.
What about a scriptural
divorce?

Is it possible for someone to be bound to a spouse in marriage (Rom. 7:1-4)
while their spouse is NOT bound in return?

We know that God joins in marriage, man separates (or tries to separate) in
divorce (Mtt. 19:6) – implication that God may separate (Mtt. 19:9)

Woman is “bound by the law”, released at death – when NEITHER is bound

In Romans, both parties are released at death (Mtt. 24:38)



NT:1210 de/w deo (deh'-o); a primary verb; to bind (in various applications,
literally or figuratively): KJV - bind, be in bonds, knit, tie, wind. See also NT:1163,
NT:1189. – In Rom. 7: “bound to her husband”
Are there any examples of a bond being one-directional?
Response: since this is a spiritual bond, we cannot assume that all characteristics
of a physical bond apply.


While this is true, we will still begin at that point. When those rules differ (I.e. baptism),
scripture tells us so.
Ex: Baptism is a “burial”. Can we simply assume that because it is not a physical burial,
it does not require complete emersion? No – we would need scriptural evidence to
support this!
Arguments against

Silence of scripture: no teaching on the subject, therefore
it must be sinful



Problem: the scripture is also technically silent for the innocent
party, but we can necessarily infer his right to remarry. IF there is
a necessary inference to be made, the same could be true for the
guilty party
Problem: we can also be guilty of “binding where God has not
bound”, “teaching for doctrine the commandments of men”, Mtt.
15:1-9
Problem: we must be consistent in application of “silence” (I.e.
worshipping twice on Sunday, purchasing a building – accepted
despite “silence” because they fall within general authority and
do not violate another clearly taught principle)
Arguments against

Common sense: “But that means God gave adulterers a
“free pass” out of marriage




Problem: “My thoughts are not your thoughts”, Is. 55:8; 1 Cor
2:11 – “Even so the thoughts of God no one knows except the
Spirit of God.”
Problem: “but fornicators and adulterers God will judge (Heb.
14:7)
It is our responsibility to “speak as one who is speaking the
utterances of God”, not to “close loopholes” or “let someone get
away with sin”
The question is not “but God never intended”, but “thus saith the
Lord”
What about a scriptural
divorce?

What we DO know:




Scripture implies that one may divorce an adulterer and remarry without committing adultery
Scripture does not directly OR indirectly address an adulterer’s right to remarry, only their
right to divorce (they do not have the right, only the innocent party may do so)
God places a bond between a married couple – implication that he puts asunder that bond at
divorce
What we must infer:

That the adulterous spouse’s part of the bond remains in place (never specifically taught by
example, teaching or necessary inference)

Is it our job to ensure that “no one slips through on a technicality?

My conclusion – that we ought to “remain silent” where the scripture is silent (Note
distinction between “approval/endorsement” and condemnation/disfellowship.)

Note – I’m certainly open to continue studying this, as have yet to see convincing arguments
on either side of the argument
Forgiveness and divorce

What is the only cause for divorce


When I forgive without choosing to divorce, I wipe
away the burden of that sin
If I later choose to divorce, it is not for that act of
adultery