Download Ten Keys for Effective Listening

RECEIVING SKILLS
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Listening is composed of six distinct components
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Hearing: The physiological process of receiving sound and/or other
stimuli.
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Attending: The conscious and unconscious process of focusing attention
on external stimuli.
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Interpreting: The process of decoding the symbols or behavior attended
to.
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Evaluating: The process of deciding the value of the information to
the receiver.
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Remembering: The process of placing the appropriate information into
short-term or long-term storage.

Responding: The process of giving feedback to the source and/or other
receivers.
Facts about Listening
 Listening is our primary communication
activity.
 Our listening habits are not the result of
training but rater the result of the lack of it.
 Most individuals are inefficient listeners
 Inefficient and ineffective listening is
extraordinarily costly
 Good listening can be taught
Styles of receiving:

There are a number of styles of receiving
information. The appropriate style is
dependent upon the relative importance of
content compared to the relationship and the
involvement of the individual receiving the
information.
Facts about Listening
continued
 Listening: Learned first, Used most (45%),
Taught least.
 Speaking: Learned second, Used next most
(30%), Taught next least.
 Reading: Learned third, Used next least
(16%), Taught next most
 Writing: Learned fourth, Used Least (9%),
Taught most.
Relational Receiving Skills

Non-Listening: A style that is appropriate when the receiver has no need for the content and has minimal
relationship with he sender.

Pseudo listening: A way of "faking it" where the receiver feels obligated to listen even though they are
preoccupied unable or unwilling to at that particular time.

Defensive Listening: A style of listening used in situations where the receiver feels that he might be taken
advantage of if he does not protect himself by listening for information directly relevant to him.

Appreciative Listening: A style that is appropriate in a recreational setting where the listener is
participating as a way of passing time or being entertained.

Listening with Empathy: A style that teaches an individual to enter fully into the world of the other and
truly comprehend their thoughts and feelings.

Naively listening to customers: A style that helps build an ongoing relationship by helping the receiver
understand the needs of the sender.

Therapeutic Cathartic Listening: A listening style used by psychological counselors to help people who
are having problems dealing with life situations.

Therapeutic Diagnostic Listening: A listening style that is used to assess the needs of the sender.
Content Receiving Skills

Insensitive Listening or Offensive listening: A style where the listeners main intent is to select
information that can later he used against the speaker.

Insulated Listening: A style where the listener avoids responsibility by failing to acknowledge that they
have heard the information presented by the speaker.

Selective Listening: A style where the listener only responds to the parts of the message that directly
interests him.

Bottom Line Listening: A style of listening where the receiver is only concerned about the facts. "Just the
facts man."

Court Reporter Syndrome: A style of taking in a speakers message and recording it verbatim.

Informational Listening: A style that is used when the listener is seeking out specific information.

Evaluative Listening: A style used to listen to information upon which a decision has to be made.

Critical Incidence Listening: A style used when the consequence of not listening may have dramatic
effects.

Intimate Listening: The style that is appropriate when the speaker is communicating significant relational
information being completely and wholly honest.
HOW CAN I CREATE A HELPING RELATIONSHIP?
Carl R. Rogers On Becoming a Person
 1. Can I be in some way which will be perceived by the other
person as trustworthy, as dependable or consistent in some
deep sense?
 2. Can I be expressive enough as a person that what I am will
be communicated unambiguously?
 3. Can I let myself experience positive attitudes toward the other
person -- attitudes of warmth, caring, liking interest, respect?
 4. Can I be strong enough as a person to be separate from the
other? Can I be a sturdy respecter of my own feelings, my own
needs; as well as his?
 5. Am I secure enough within myself to permit him his
separateness?
HOW CAN I CREATE A HELPING RELATIONSHIP?
Carl R. Rogers On Becoming a Person
Continued
 6. Can I let myself enter fully into the world of his feelings and personal
meanings and see these as he does. Can I step into his private world
so completely that I lose all desire to evaluate or judge it?
 7. Can I accept each facet of this other person which he presents to
me?
 8. Can I act with sufficient sensitivity in the relationship that my
behavior will not be perceived as a threat?
 9. Can I free him from the threat of external evaluation?
 10. Can I meet this other individual as a person who is in the process
of becoming, or will I be bound by his past and my past?
Ten Keys for Effective Listening
 Lyman Steil
Ten keys to effective listening
 Find areas of interest.
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The Poor Listener: Tunes out dry topics.
The Good Listener: Seizes opportunities: "What's in it for me?"
Judge content, not delivery.
The Poor Listener: Tunes out if delivery is poor.
The Good Listener: Judges content, skips over delivery errors.
Hold your fire.
The Poor Listener: Tends to enter into argument.
The Good Listener: Doesn't judge until comprehension is
complete.
Listen for ideas.
The Poor Listener: Listens for facts.
The Good Listener: Listens for central theme.
Be a flexible note taker.
The Poor Listener: Is busy with form, misses content.
The Good Listener: Adjusts to topic and organizational pattern.
Ten keys to effective listening
continued
 Work at listening.

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The Poor Listener: Shows no energy output, fakes attention
The Good Listener: Works hard; exhibits alertness.
Resist distractions.
The Poor Listener: Is distracted easily.
The Good Listener: Fights or avoids distractions; tolerates bad habits in
others; knows how to concentrate.
Exercise your mind.
The Poor Listener: Resists difficult material; seeks light, recreational
material.
The Good Listener: Uses heavier material as exercise for the mind.
Keep your mind open.
The Poor Listener: Reacts to emotional words.
The Good Listener: Interprets emotional words; does not get hung up
on them.
Thought is faster than speech; use it.
The Poor Listener: Tends to daydream with slow speakers.
The Good Listener: Challenges, anticipates, mentally summarizes,
weights the evidence, listens between the lines to tone and voice.