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Effective Listening
Chapter Eight: Listening and Feedback
LISTENING
There is a substantial difference between hearing and
listening. Hearing is merely an involuntary physical
response to the environment. Listening, on the other
hand is a sophisticated communication skill which
can be mastered only with considerable practice.
You can learn to be an effective, capable listener by
using the techniques we’ll review.
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Why Listening Matters:
By taking responsibility for successful
communication through active and
reflective listening, you can become more
successful at those activities that depend
on communication, including your personal
and professional life.
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How Well Do You Listen?
Rate yourself as a listener.
How would your subordinates
rate you?
How about your peers?
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How Well Do You Listen?
How would your boss rate you?
What would your significant
other say?
How would your best friend rate
you?
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Why Listen?
The average person spends about 70
percent of each day engaged in some
type of communication. Of that time,
45 percent is spent listening, 30
percent speaking, 16 percent reading,
and only 9 percent writing.
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Why Listen?
Listening demonstrates acceptance.
Listening promotes problem-solving
abilities.
Listening can increase a speaker’s
receptiveness to the ideas of
others.
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Why Listen?
Listening demonstrates acceptance.
Listening increases the self-esteem of the
other person.
Listening helps you overcome selfconsciousness and self-centeredness.
Listening can help to prevent head-on
emotional collisions.
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Ineffective Listening Habits
Dr. Ralph Nichols has discovered that
many of us employ ineffective listening
habits that interfere with learning:
Calling the subject uninteresting.
Criticizing the speaker’s delivery.
Getting over-stimulated.
Listening only for the facts.
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Ineffective Listening Habits
Trying to make an outline of
everything we hear.
Faking attention to the speaker.
Tolerating or creating
distractions.
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Ineffective Listening Habits
Avoiding difficult, expository or
technical material.
Letting emotion-laden words
throw us off the track.
Wasting the differential between
speech speed and thought speed.
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Developing Good Listening
Habits
Researchers at the Unisys Corporation have
identified ways in which you can review your
ineffective habits, identify those you should
replace, and substitute more effective
strategies for listening, learning, and
remembering. They’ve identified, in fact, 18
habits you may wish to consider for your own
inventory of communication skills.
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Developing Good Listening
Habits
Stop talking.
One conversation at a time.
Empathize with the person speaking.
Ask questions.
Don’t interrupt.
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Developing Good Listening
Habits
Show interest.
Give your undivided attention.
Don’t jump to conclusions.
Avoid distractions.
Evaluate facts and evidence.
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Developing Good Listening
Habits
Recognize your own biases and
prejudices.
Don’t argue mentally.
React to ideas, not to the speaker.
Don’t waste your thought-power
advantage.
Wishing doesn’t make it so.
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Developing Good Listening
Habits
Listen for what is not said.
Listen to how something is said.
And, most important: share the
responsibility for communication
success.
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Active Listening Is A Skill
foster catharsis.
encourages the speaker to be less
afraid of negative feelings.
promote a relationship of warmth
between speaker and listener.
promote problem-solving in the speaker.
increase the speaker’s receptiveness to
the ideas and thoughts of others.
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Active Listening Skills
Paraphrasing
Reflecting meaning
Reflecting feelings
Reflecting conclusions
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How Can I Improve
My Listening Habits?
Professor James J. Floyd has
suggested a system for improving
the ways in which we listen to the
rest of the world. The first phase
involves four steps:
Review your listening inventory
(good and bad habits).
Recognize your undesirable
listening habits.
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How Can I Improve
My Listening Habits?
Refuse to tolerate undesirable or
ineffective habits.
Replace undesirable habits with
effective ones.
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Improve Your Ability
To Pay Attention
Resist the temptation to daydream.
Reduce environmental distraction.
Ignore internal (self-generated)
distractions.
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Improve Your Ability
To Pay Attention
Refuse to be distracted by speaker
appearance or mannerisms.
Repeatedly remind yourself to
focus on the message.
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Improving The Non-Verbal
Dimension of Listening
Don’t underestimate the difficulty of
interpreting non-verbal messages.
Consider context: non-verbal behavior
may have different meanings in
different contexts.
Interpret verbal and non-verbal
communication simultaneously.
Solicit feedback.
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Improving The Verbal
Dimension of Listening
Increase your verbal experience
and expertise.
Avoid stereotyping.
Study and consider verbal context
to interpret meaning.
Set aside the biases and emotions
(but don’t ignore them).
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Improving The Verbal
Dimension of Listening
Overcome the fear of failure:
Don’t refuse to try.
Don’t belittle the situation.
Don’t lower your goals.
Don’t look for easy listening
situations.
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Improving The Analytic
Dimensions of Listening
Distinguish between factual and nonfactual support material.
Apply the various tests for factual
support.
Evaluate the appropriateness of
speakers’ use of non-factual support.
Understand the relationship between
support and reasoning.
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Improving The Analytic
Dimensions of Listening
Apply the various tests for
reasoning.
Monitor ethical and unethical uses
of propaganda.
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Improving Your Ability To
Listen Empathically
Strive to develop a positive,
caring attitude.
Apply dialogic principles to your
listening in a variety of situations.
Reduce or eliminate monologic
tendencies in your listening.
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Improving Your Ability To
Listen Empathically
Avoid the tendency to talk rather
than listen.
Resist the temptation to judge or
give advice.
Provide feedback which will
encourage further communication.
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Guidelines for
Constructive Feedback
Acknowledge the Need for
Feedback
Give Both Positive and Negative
Feedback.
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Guidelines for
Constructive Feedback
Know When to Give Feedback
Know How to Give Feedback
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Knowing When Not
to Give Feedback
You don’t know much about the
circumstances of the behavior.
You don’t care about the person or will
not be around long enough to follow up
on the aftermath of your feedback.
Hit-and-run feedback is not fair.
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Knowing When Not
to Give Feedback
The other person seem low in selfesteem.
You are low in self-esteem.
The feedback, positive or negative,
is about something the person has
no power to change.
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Knowing When Not
to Give Feedback
Your purpose is not really
improvement, but to put someone
on the spot (“gotcha!”), or
demonstrate how smart or how
much more responsible you are.
The time, place, or circumstances
are inappropriate (for example, in
the presence of a customer).
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Knowing How to Give
Effective Feedback
Be Descriptive.
Don’t Use Labels.
Don’t Exaggerate.
Don’t be Judgmental.
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Knowing How to Give
Effective Feedback
Speak for Yourself.
Talk first about Yourself, Not
about the Other Person.
Phrase the Issue as a Statement,
Not as a Question.
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Knowing How to Give
Effective Feedback
Restrict Your Feedback to Things
you Know for Certain.
Help People Hear and Accept Your
Compliments When Giving Positive
Feedback.
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Know How to Receive Feedback
Breathe.
Listen Carefully.
Acknowledge the Feedback.
Acknowledge Valid Points.
Take Time Out to Sort Out What you
Heard.
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