Download Coherence Unity (一致性)

Effective Sentences
Unity and Coherence
Unity (一致性)

Unity is the first quality of an effective
sentence. A unified sentence expresses a
single complete thought. It does not contain
ideas that are not closely related, nor does it
express a thought that is not complete by
itself.
~ requires that all the sentence
elements composing a sentence, all
the sentences composing a
paragraph, all the paragraphs
composing an essay bear directly on
the one main idea——the theme（主
题）

一致性是指句子所表示的思想是一个完整的统一体。
所有的句子用词，所有的句子，所有的段落都要围绕
一个中心思想/主题。
Example: “I got up early. Mom told me that
there was always traffic jam and our car was a
little bit too old and we need buy a new one”.

Error：The first two sentences are not unified
and there is no mention of the time for the first
sentence. The theme of the second sentence is
not unified because there’s no mention of the
logical relationship between the clauses, which
are separated with the first sentence.
Revised：
 “I
got up early Monday morning.
Mom told me that there was always
heavy traffic, and as our car was a
bit old and couldn't run fast，
we’d better start earlier.”
Faulty: Born in a small town in
South China in the early 50s, he
grew up to be a famous musician.

He was born in a small
town in South China in the early
50s. In his childhood he liked to
sing songs. Later he entered a
conservatory. In the 70s he
became a famous musician.
Revised:
analysis

The two parts of the original sentence are
not logically connected, because a man
born in a small town in South China in the
early 50s would not necessarily become a
famous musician. Therefore, the sentence
lacks unity. The revised sentences are better,
as how and when he became a musician is
explained.
Faulty: Du Fu was one of the
greatest poets.
Revised: Du Fu was one of the
greatest poets of the Tang period.

The first sentence is faulty because the idea
expressed is not complete: there is no
mention of the time or country. “The Tang
period” makes these clear, for we all know
that the Tang was a dynasty in Chinese
history.
Coherence（连贯性）
 Coherence means clear and reasonable
connection between parts. A sentence is
coherent when its words or parts are
properly connected and their
relationships unmistakably clear. It is
not coherent if it has faulty parallel
constructions, pronouns with ambiguous
reference, dangling or misplaced
modifiers, confusing shifts in person and
number, or in voice, tense, and mood.
~ requires that the train of thoughts
flows smoothly in a logical sequence in a
sentence, from sentence to sentence,
from paragraph to paragraph
• 连贯性是指句中的成分之间具有含乎逻辑的有机
联系，全句所表述的思路清晰，使交际对方容易
得到要领。
Example: John saw a handbag in a field. He
walked a cross the field and picked up the
handbag. He took the handbag to the police
station and handed it in as lost property. When
he had done this, he went home.

这个语篇给人的感觉是十分紧凑。这是因为四个句
子表达的意义联系紧密。第二、三、四句中的he与
第一句的John发生了照应关系，第三句的it与第一、
二句的handbag是词汇复现关系，第四句this的照应
对象是一个句组。
Faulty: A man is judged not only by
what he says but also by his deeds.
Revised: A man is judged not only by
what he says but also by what he does.
A man is judged not only by his
words but also by his deeds.

Parallel ideas had better be expressed in parallel
constructions, which give emphasis, clarity and
coherence to a sentence. “What he says” and “his
deeds” are not parallel in form, so one of them has
to be changed.
Faulty: We thought she was charming,
intelligent, and a very capable young
woman.
Revised: We thought she was charming,
intelligent, and very capable.
We thought she was a charming,
intelligent, and very capable young
woman.

This sentence is faulty for the same reason
and can be improved in the same way as
the first faulty sentence.
Faulty: We have great faith and
high hopes for her.
Revised: We have great faith in and
high hopes for her.

“faith” and “hope” are parallel, but they
should be followed by different prepositions.
Faulty: She told my sister
that she was wrong.
• Revised: “ I’m wrong,” she said to my
sister.
• She admitted that she was wrong and
said so to my sister.
• “ You’re wrong,” she said to my sister.
• My sister was told that she was wrong.
Faulty: He was knocked down by
a bicycle, but it was not serious.
Revised: He was knocked down
by a bicycle, but was not badly
hurt.
• Faulty: I’m going to the lecture on modern
Chinese drama, because he is a dramatist I
like.
• Revised: I’m going to the lecture on modern
Chinese drama, because the speaker is a
dramatist I like.
Analysis
• In each of the three faulty
sentences there is a pronoun with
ambiguous reference. The second she
in the first sentence may refer to
the subject or “my sister”; the only
noun in the second sentence is
bicycle, but it does not refer to it; no
third person is mentioned in the
third sentence, so it is hard to know
whom he stands for.
Faulty: Looking out of the window, the
grassland stretches as far as the eye can
reach.
 Revised:
Looking out of the window,
he (she, I) can see the grassland
stretches as far as the eye can
reach.
 Outside the window, the grassland
stretches as far as the eye can
reach.
Faulty: On entering the classroom, the
students stood up and said, “Good morning!”
Revised: When the teacher entered the
classroom, the students stood up and said,
“Good morning!”
 On entering the classroom, the teacher was
greeted by the students, who stood up and
said, “Good morning！”

Faulty: To get ready for the trip, all the
things she needed were put into a suitcase.
Revised: To get ready for the trip, she put
all the things she needed into a suitcase.
 In each of the above faulty sentences there
is a dangling modifier ( Looking……, On
entering….., or To get….), which is not
grammatically related to the noun or
pronoun it is intended to modify.

Exercises: The following sentences are not
unified or coherent. Please improve them.



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1. I read an interesting story in a magazine about
sportsman.
2. The idea he mentioned at first sounded good.
3. Students should learn to analyze and solve
problems independently. Don’t rely on your
teachers’ help.
4. Those who wish to take Linguistics are
expected to sigh his name on this sheet of paper.
5. She reviewed the lesson taught last week and
all the exercises assigned by the teacher were
done.