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Hebrews 13 Christian Distinctives: Marriage and Sexuality Christian Distinctives 4 Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. Christian Distinctives 4 Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. Christian Distinctives 4 Marriage should be honored -What does it mean to by all, and the marriage honor marriage?bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. Christian Distinctives 4 Marriage should be honored -What does it mean to by all, and the marriage honor marriage?bed kept pure, for Godyou will understand judge -- That the adulterer all God’s the view of andand affirm sexually immoral. sexuality Christian Distinctives 4 Marriage should be honored -What does it mean to by all, and the marriage honor marriage?bed kept pure, for Godyou will judge -- That understand the adulterer all God’s the view of andand affirm sexually immoral. sexuality -- That you invest the time and effort to create a good marriage Christian Distinctives 4 Marriage should be honored What does it mean to by all, and the marriage honor marriage?bed kept pure, for God judge -That youwill prioritize the adulterer and all marriage inthe your own sexually immoral. life and in the lives of others -That marriage is the “line in the sand” for civil disobedience. Sex Love and Marriage Naturalistic theory: • Sex = mating • Different human physiology • Morality = instinct or social contract • Love = a chemical reaction: mating urge Sex Love and Marriage Postmodern theory: • Sex = a means of self-expression • Love = a mystical feeling that is totally unpredictable • Morality = “preference” – What about pedophilia, prostitution, other forms of abuse? Sex Love and Marriage • Biblical View: -Jesus: Mat. 19:4 "Haven't you Sex Love and Marriage read," he replied, "that at the • Biblical View: beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ -Jesus: Mat. 19:4 "Haven't you Sex Love and Marriage read," he replied, "that at the • Biblical View: beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ Therefore, sexuality is built into God’s design for humans -Jesus: Mat. 19:4 "Haven't you Sex Love and Marriage read," he replied, "that at the • Biblical View: beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ Also gender is not culturally constructed, but built into our beings -Jesus: Mat. 19:4 "Haven't you Sex Love and Marriage read," he replied, "that at the • Biblical View: beginning the Creator 'made them male and female,' -5 and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'? -Jesus: Mat. 19:4 "Haven't you Sex Love and Marriage read," he replied, "that at the • Biblical View: beginning the Creator 'made them male and female,' -5 and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'? Unity relationship possible through a sexual relationship -Jesus: Mat. 19:4 "Haven't you Sex Love and Marriage read," he replied, "that at the • Biblical View: beginning the Creator 'made them male and female,' Not 3, 5, -5 and said, 'For this reason a man or 20 will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'? Unity relationship possible through a sexual relationship -Jesus: Mat. 19:4 "Haven't you Sex Love and Marriage read," he replied, "that at the • Biblical View: beginning the Creator 'made them male and female,' -5 and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'? -6 So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate." -Jesus: Mat. 19:4 "Haven't you Sex Love and Marriage read," he replied, "that at the • Biblical View: beginning the Creator 'made them male and female,' -5 and said, 'For this reason a man Commitment for life in a will leave his father and mother and heterosexual marriage = the be united to his wife, and the two only correct venue for sex will become one flesh'? -6 So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.” -Jesus: that Mat. 19:4 "Haven't you Jesus reveals Sex Love and Marriage marriage is not a social read," he replied, "that at the • Biblical View: convention subject beginning the to Creator 'made them revision male and female,' -5 and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'? -6 So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate." -Jesus: Mat. 19:4 "Haven't you •Jesus reveals that Sex Love and Marriage marriage is not a social read," he replied, "that at the • Biblical View: convention subject beginning the to Creator 'made them revision male and female,' •Marriage and the family -5 and said, 'For this reason a man were actually features will leave his father engineered into the fabricand mother and of human beingsto his wife, and the two be united will become one flesh'? -6 So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate." -Jesus:that Mat.marriage 19:4 "Haven't you •Jesus reveals Sex Love convention and Marriage is not a social read," he replied, "that at the • Biblical View: subject to revision beginning the Creator 'made them •Marriage and thefemale,' family male and were actually features -5 and said, 'For this reason a man engineered into the fabric of will leave his father and mother and human beings be united to his wife, and the two •A life-long marriage is the willwhere become one flesh'? only venue Godcentered-6personal sexual So theyand are no longer two, but love and commitment can Therefore whata God has joined properlyone. combine to form family together, let man not separate." Sex Love and Marriage • Yet, in our day, we’ve decided we don’t need marriage along the lines prescribed by Christ. • We now see a dramatic decline in marriage, as well as “serial” and alternative marriages • Divorce has “stabilized” at a rate 3 times that of thirty years ago • Meanwhile, cohabitation has increased 5-fold Cohabitation in America Study by Johns Hopkins & University of Wisconsin “Cohabiting Unions Less Stable Than [Unions] Beginning as Marriages.” Marriage Survives Cohabitation Cohabit Before Marriage Traditional Marriage Millions cohabiting 45% 15% 40% Cohabitation in America Univ. of Western Ontario study of 8,177 “ever-married” men & women “Premarital cohabiters in Canada have over twice the incidence of divorce in any year of marriage when compared with cohabiting premarital non-cohabiters.” Millions 45% David R. Hall and John Z. Zhao, “Cohabitation and Divorce in Canada: Testing the Selectivity Hypothesis,” Journal of Marriage and the Family 57 (1995): 421-427. Cohabitation and Marriage 13,000 adults in nationwide study University of Wisconsin, Thompson & Colella, “Cohabitation and Marital Stability: Quality or Commitment” JMF #54 [1992]: 259-267 Findings: Couples who cohabited: -Reported “greater marital conflict and poorer communication” -Were “less committed to the institution of marriage” -“Perceived greater likelihood of divorce, • And longer cohabitation indicated higher likelihood of divorce” -Experienced “lower quality marriages” • 12 indicators of quality in marital relationship. Cohabitation and Gender Northern State University Herry, Huffman, et al., “Gender Differences and Factors Related to the Disposition Toward Cohabitation,” Family Therapy, 21 (1994) 171-184. • Men cohabit because of “the convenience” of the relationship (“particularly the availability of sex”) • Women cohabit believing it will lead to marriage • “Those men who cohabited exhibited the most accepting view of rape.” Sex Love and Marriage • What are the underlying assumptions behind cohabitation and sexual activity outside marriage? 1. That the God of the Bible is wrong. “Get your religion out of my bedroom!” 2. That commitment is not a necessary component. “It’s just sex, get over it.” 3. That sex is an act that can be practiced safely outside marriage. “Why should a ring and a ceremony make any difference?” 4. That successful sexuality involves technique and variety. “I want to be an experienced and artful lover.” 5. That a history of sexual variety may help your marriage when the time comes. 6. That it’s OK to use other’s bodies without thought for their true nature. Sex Love and Marriage • Single Christians • Sexual desires now at highest pitch they will ever reach • Yet not fulfilled • Therefore, single, Christian, and frustrated • How to react? Sex Love and Marriage • Superspiritual = “I’m not really interested in that kind of thing anyway…” • Confess, “Yes, I want this kind of relationship and I am frustrated” • Set marriage as a goal • Determine you will approach that goal in a spiritual way • Opportunities will come along to satisfy that urge the wrong way… Sex Love and Marriage • Col. 3:25 For he who does wrong will receive the consequences of the wrong which he has done, and that without partiality. • Learn to build successful love relationships Sex Love and Marriage • Possible reasons for lack of fulfillment in this area as a single 1. Are there things in you that are not yet appropriate for marriage? - Maybe your focus should be less on finding someone you can get, and more on becoming a person who is ready? - Why should your loved one settle for less than the best? Sex Love and Marriage 2. Maybe there is a specific plan God has for this period of your life that requires you be single? - “I wish I had enjoyed my single life more” - What are the spiritual advantages to your singleness? Sex Love and Marriage 3. Maybe God has picked this area of your life as the venue to have it out with you on the issue of self will? - Which is more important to you: Your desires, or my will? Sex Love and Marriage For the married: • Center your family around God • Learn to invest in your family • Take lasting problems to a qualified Christian helper Sex, Love, and Marriage • Comments? • Stories? • Questions?