Download Sex Love and Marriage

Hebrews 13
Christian Distinctives:
Marriage and Sexuality
Christian Distinctives
4 Marriage should be honored
by all, and the marriage bed
kept pure, for God will judge
the adulterer and all the
sexually immoral.
Christian Distinctives
4 Marriage should be honored
by all, and the marriage bed
kept pure, for God will judge
the adulterer and all the
sexually immoral.
Christian Distinctives
4 Marriage should
be honored
-What does
it mean to
by all, and the
marriage
honor
marriage?bed
kept pure, for God will judge
the adulterer and all the
sexually immoral.
Christian Distinctives
4 Marriage should
be honored
-What does
it mean to
by all, and the
marriage
honor
marriage?bed
kept pure, for
Godyou
will understand
judge
-- That
the adulterer
all God’s
the view of
andand
affirm
sexually immoral.
sexuality
Christian Distinctives
4 Marriage should
be honored
-What does
it mean to
by all, and the
marriage
honor
marriage?bed
kept pure, for
Godyou
will
judge
-- That
understand
the adulterer
all God’s
the view of
andand
affirm
sexually immoral.
sexuality
-- That you invest the
time and effort to create
a good marriage
Christian Distinctives
4 Marriage should
be honored
What does
it mean to
by all, and the
marriage
honor
marriage?bed
kept pure, for
God
judge
-That
youwill
prioritize
the adulterer
and all
marriage
inthe
your own
sexually immoral.
life and in the lives of
others
-That marriage is the
“line in the sand” for
civil disobedience.
Sex Love and Marriage
Naturalistic theory:
• Sex = mating
• Different human physiology
• Morality = instinct or social
contract
• Love = a chemical reaction:
mating urge
Sex Love and Marriage
Postmodern theory:
• Sex = a means of self-expression
• Love = a mystical feeling that is
totally unpredictable
• Morality = “preference”
– What about pedophilia, prostitution, other
forms of abuse?
Sex Love and Marriage
• Biblical View:
-Jesus: Mat. 19:4 "Haven't you
Sex Love and Marriage
read," he replied, "that at the
• Biblical View:
beginning the Creator ‘made them
male and female,’
-Jesus: Mat. 19:4 "Haven't you
Sex Love and Marriage
read," he replied, "that at the
• Biblical View:
beginning the Creator ‘made them
male and female,’
Therefore, sexuality
is built into God’s
design for humans
-Jesus: Mat. 19:4 "Haven't you
Sex Love and Marriage
read," he replied, "that at the
• Biblical View:
beginning the Creator ‘made them
male and female,’
Also gender is not
culturally constructed,
but built into our beings
-Jesus: Mat. 19:4 "Haven't you
Sex Love and Marriage
read," he replied, "that at the
• Biblical View:
beginning the Creator 'made them
male and female,'
-5 and said, 'For this reason a man
will leave his father and mother and
be united to his wife, and the two
will become one flesh'?
-Jesus: Mat. 19:4 "Haven't you
Sex Love and Marriage
read," he replied, "that at the
• Biblical View:
beginning the Creator 'made them
male and female,'
-5 and said, 'For this reason a man
will leave his father and mother and
be united to his wife, and the two
will become one flesh'?
Unity relationship
possible through a
sexual relationship
-Jesus: Mat. 19:4 "Haven't you
Sex Love and Marriage
read," he replied, "that at the
• Biblical View:
beginning the Creator 'made them
male and female,'
Not 3, 5,
-5 and said, 'For this reason a man
or 20
will leave his father and mother and
be united to his wife, and the two
will become one flesh'?
Unity relationship possible
through a sexual
relationship
-Jesus: Mat. 19:4 "Haven't you
Sex Love and Marriage
read," he replied, "that at the
• Biblical View:
beginning the Creator 'made them
male and female,'
-5 and said, 'For this reason a man
will leave his father and mother and
be united to his wife, and the two
will become one flesh'?
-6 So they are no longer two, but
one. Therefore what God has joined
together, let man not separate."
-Jesus: Mat. 19:4 "Haven't you
Sex Love and Marriage
read," he replied, "that at the
• Biblical View:
beginning the Creator 'made them
male and female,'
-5 and said, 'For this reason a man
Commitment
for
life
in
a
will leave his father and mother and
heterosexual
marriage
=
the
be united to his wife, and the two
only correct
venue
for
sex
will become one flesh'?
-6 So they are no longer two, but
one. Therefore what God has joined
together, let man not separate.”
-Jesus: that
Mat. 19:4 "Haven't you
Jesus
reveals
Sex Love and Marriage
marriage
is
not
a
social
read,"
he
replied,
"that
at
the
• Biblical View:
convention
subject
beginning
the to
Creator 'made them
revision
male and female,'
-5 and said, 'For this reason a man
will leave his father and mother and
be united to his wife, and the two
will become one flesh'?
-6 So they are no longer two, but
one. Therefore what God has joined
together, let man not separate."
-Jesus: Mat.
19:4 "Haven't you
•Jesus
reveals
that
Sex Love and Marriage
marriage
is
not
a
social
read,"
he
replied,
"that
at
the
• Biblical View:
convention
subject
beginning
the to
Creator 'made them
revision
male and female,'
•Marriage
and
the
family
-5
and
said,
'For
this
reason
a
man
were actually features
will leave
his father
engineered
into the
fabricand mother and
of human
beingsto his wife, and the two
be united
will become one flesh'?
-6 So they are no longer two, but
one. Therefore what God has joined
together, let man not separate."
-Jesus:that
Mat.marriage
19:4 "Haven't you
•Jesus
reveals
Sex
Love convention
and Marriage
is not
a social
read,"
he
replied,
"that
at
the
• Biblical
View:
subject
to revision
beginning the Creator 'made them
•Marriage
and
thefemale,'
family
male
and
were actually
features
-5
and
said,
'For
this
reason
a
man
engineered into the fabric of
will leave his father and mother and
human beings
be united to his wife, and the two
•A life-long marriage is the
willwhere
become
one flesh'?
only venue
Godcentered-6personal
sexual
So theyand
are no
longer two, but
love and commitment can
Therefore
whata God has joined
properlyone.
combine
to form
family together, let man not separate."
Sex Love and Marriage
• Yet, in our day, we’ve decided we don’t
need marriage along the lines
prescribed by Christ.
• We now see a dramatic decline in
marriage, as well as “serial” and
alternative marriages
• Divorce has “stabilized” at a rate 3
times that of thirty years ago
• Meanwhile, cohabitation has increased
5-fold
Cohabitation in America
Study by Johns Hopkins & University of
Wisconsin “Cohabiting Unions Less Stable
Than [Unions] Beginning as Marriages.”
Marriage Survives Cohabitation
Cohabit Before Marriage
Traditional Marriage
Millions cohabiting
45%
15%
40%
Cohabitation in America
Univ. of Western Ontario study of 8,177 “ever-married” men & women
“Premarital cohabiters in Canada have
over twice the incidence of divorce in
any year of marriage when compared
with cohabiting
premarital non-cohabiters.”
Millions
45%
David R. Hall and John Z. Zhao, “Cohabitation and Divorce in Canada: Testing the Selectivity
Hypothesis,” Journal of Marriage and the Family 57 (1995): 421-427.
Cohabitation and Marriage
13,000 adults in nationwide study
University of Wisconsin, Thompson & Colella, “Cohabitation and Marital Stability: Quality or Commitment”
JMF #54 [1992]: 259-267
Findings: Couples who cohabited:
-Reported “greater marital conflict and poorer communication”
-Were “less committed to the institution of marriage”
-“Perceived greater likelihood of divorce,
• And longer cohabitation indicated higher likelihood of divorce”
-Experienced “lower quality marriages”
• 12 indicators of quality in marital relationship.
Cohabitation and Gender
Northern State University
Herry, Huffman, et al., “Gender Differences and Factors Related to the Disposition
Toward Cohabitation,” Family Therapy, 21 (1994) 171-184.
• Men cohabit because of “the convenience” of
the relationship (“particularly the availability
of sex”)
• Women cohabit believing it will lead to
marriage
• “Those men who cohabited exhibited the most
accepting view of rape.”
Sex Love and Marriage
• What are the underlying assumptions behind cohabitation and sexual
activity outside marriage?
1. That the God of the Bible is wrong.
“Get your religion out of my bedroom!”
2. That commitment is not a necessary component.
“It’s just sex, get over it.”
3. That sex is an act that can be practiced safely outside marriage.
“Why should a ring and a ceremony make any difference?”
4. That successful sexuality involves technique and variety.
“I want to be an experienced and artful lover.”
5. That a history of sexual variety may help your marriage when the time comes.
6. That it’s OK to use other’s bodies without thought for their true nature.
Sex Love and Marriage
• Single Christians
• Sexual desires now at highest
pitch they will ever reach
• Yet not fulfilled
• Therefore, single, Christian, and
frustrated
• How to react?
Sex Love and Marriage
• Superspiritual = “I’m not really
interested in that kind of thing
anyway…”
• Confess, “Yes, I want this kind of
relationship and I am frustrated”
• Set marriage as a goal
• Determine you will approach that goal
in a spiritual way
• Opportunities will come along to
satisfy that urge the wrong way…
Sex Love and Marriage
• Col. 3:25 For he who does wrong will
receive the consequences of the
wrong which he has done, and that
without partiality.
• Learn to build successful love
relationships
Sex Love and Marriage
• Possible reasons for lack of fulfillment
in this area as a single
1. Are there things in you that are not
yet appropriate for marriage?
- Maybe your focus should be less on
finding someone you can get, and
more on becoming a person who is
ready?
- Why should your loved one settle for
less than the best?
Sex Love and Marriage
2. Maybe there is a specific plan
God has for this period of your life
that requires you be single?
- “I wish I had enjoyed my single
life more”
- What are the spiritual advantages
to your singleness?
Sex Love and Marriage
3. Maybe God has picked this area
of your life as the venue to have it
out with you on the issue of self
will?
- Which is more important to you:
Your desires, or my will?
Sex Love and Marriage
For the married:
• Center your family around
God
• Learn to invest in your family
• Take lasting problems to a
qualified Christian helper
Sex, Love, and Marriage
• Comments?
• Stories?
• Questions?