Download Marriage Counseling: Why it`s done

Marriage Counseling: Why it's done
By Mayo Clinic staff
Marriage counseling can help couples in all types of intimate relationships —
heterosexual or homosexual, married or not.
Some couples seek marriage counseling to strengthen their bonds and gain a better
understanding of each other. Marriage counseling can also help couples who plan to get
married. This pre-marriage counseling can help couples achieve a deeper understanding
of each other and iron out differences before marriage.
In other cases, couples seek marriage counseling to improve a troubled relationship. You
can use marriage counseling to address many specific issues, including:
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Communication problems
Sexual difficulties
Conflicts about child rearing or blended families
Substance abuse
Financial problems
Anger
Infidelity
Divorce
Marriage counseling may also be helpful in cases of domestic abuse. If violence has
escalated to the point that you're afraid, however, counseling isn't adequate. Contact the
police or a local shelter or crisis center for emergency support.
What you can expect
Marriage counseling typically brings couples or partners together for joint therapy
sessions. Working with a therapist, you'll learn skills to solidify your relationship. These
skills may include communicating openly, problem solving together and discussing
differences rationally. You'll analyze both the good and bad parts of your relationship as
you pinpoint and better understand the sources of your conflicts.
Talking about your problems with a marriage counselor may not be easy. Sessions may
pass in silence as you and your partner seethe over perceived wrongs — or you may bring
your fights with you, yelling and arguing during sessions. Both are OK. Your therapist
can act as mediator or referee and help you cope with the resulting emotions and turmoil.
If you or your partner is coping with mental illness, substance abuse or other issues, your
therapist may work with other health care providers to provide a complete spectrum of
treatment.
If your partner refuses to attend marriage counseling sessions, you can go by yourself. It's
more challenging to patch up a relationship when only one partner is willing to go to
therapy, but you can still benefit by learning more about your reactions and behavior in
the relationship.
Marriage counseling is often short term. You may need only a few sessions to help you
weather a crisis — or you may need marriage counseling for several months, particularly
if your relationship has greatly deteriorated. The specific treatment plan will depend on
the situation. In some cases, marriage counseling helps couples discover that their
differences truly are irreconcilable and that it's best to end the relationship.
Making the decision to go to marriage counseling can be tough. But marriage counseling
can help you better cope with a troubled relationship — rather than trying to ignore it or
hoping it gets better on its own.