Download Clarity and Conciseness Handout

Principle Ways of Achieving Clarity and Conciseness
1.
Cut or shorten empty words or phrases.
FOR
at all times
at the present time
at this point in time
in the nature of
for the purpose of
in order to
until such time as
for the reason that
due to the fact that
because of the fact that
by virtue of the fact that
on account of the fact that
in the event that
by means of
in the final analysis
until such time as
;
2.
SUBSTITUTE
always
now
now
like
for
to
until
because
because
because
because
because
if
by
finally
until
Action or strong verbs should replace strings of short words.
FOR
SUBSTITUTE
get used to
familiarize
get a hold of
reach
get married
marry
look into the matter
research
is of the opinion
believes
Cut unnecessary repetition.
There are/is
Look for sentences beginning with It is
(Number) ways
and change them.
Okay:
Better:
There are more people seeking spirituality than ever before.
More people are seeking spirituality than ever before.
Okay:
Better:
It is beneficial for students to learn through examples.
Students benefit by learning through examples.
Okay:
There are three ways of reducing one’s stress: eating well,
exercising weekly, and meditating periodically.
Three ways of reducing one’s stress are eating well,
exercising weekly, and meditating periodically.
Eating well, exercising weekly, and meditating periodically
are ways of reducing stress.
Better:
Best:
1
Avoid redundancy in meaning (delete italicized words).
biography of his life
consensus of opinion
final completion
frank and honest exchange
reason why
genuinely authentic
true-to-life realism
the field of mathematics
3.
Simplify word groups and phrases
Wordy:
Concise:
4.
The nurses must have possession of interpersonal skills and
combine them with medical skills.
The nurses must posses interpersonal and medical skills.
Try to avoid the following oblique asides or phrases:
in a manner of speaking
as far a (subject) is concerned
for all intents and purposes
5.
circle around
cooperate together
the future to come
basic essentials
repeat again
smart and intelligent
unadorned simplicity
the science of physics
all things considered
more or less
for the most part
Use the active voice as often as possible.
The passive voice indicates that the subject is passive and receives the
action of another object. The passive voice verb consists of any form of
the verb “to be” and the past participle. (The sentence often contains the
word “by”).
Passive:
Active:
Rental amounts are controlled by the city.
The city controls rental amounts.
Passive:
Active:
A fan was struck by a foul ball.
A foul ball struck a fan.
Passive:
Active:
Dozens of instructors were terrified of the outspoken student.
The outspoken student terrified dozens of instructors.
Passive voice is acceptable when the doer of the action is unknown or
unimportant.
Passive:
Fifty blue shirts have been ordered.
2
Periphrasis – Tautology – Wordiness
Periphrasis is a roundabout way of speaking or writing, also known as
circumlocution, the use of unnecessarily wordy and indirect language or
evasion in speech.
Tautology is the use of redundant words or ideas and/or repetition of
words or ideas.
Avoid using too many or very long words where a few simple words will
do.
an unexpected surprise
a person who is honest
as a general rule
brown in color
each and every
enclosed herewith
end result
free gift
he is a person who
important essentials
in order to
past history
refer back to
repeat again
serious crisis
small in size
surrounded on all sides
usual custom
the field of (electronics)
there are (many boys) who
there is no doubt that
very unique
I personally (think, feel)
more perfect
first started
amount of time
crowd of people
all of (the people)
sang a song
in my head I thought
a Jewish rabbi
a female person
two twins
exactly identical
3
a surprise
an honest person
generally as a rule
brown
each
enclosed
result
gift
he
essentials
to
history
refer
repeat
crisis
small
surrounded
custom
(electronics)
(many boys)
no doubt
unique
I (think, feel)
perfect
started
time
crowd
the people
sang
I thought
a rabbi
a female
twins
identical