Download There are a

Chapter 5
Healthy
Relationships:
Communicating
Effectively with
Friends, Family, and
Significant Others
Lecture Outline
Copyright © 2010 Pearson Education, Inc.
written by Bridget Melton, Georgia Southern University
Objectives
• Discuss ways to improve communication skills and
interpersonal interactions.
• Identify the characteristics of successful relationships,
including how to maintain them and overcome common
barriers.
• Explore similarities and differences between men and
women in communication styles and decision making.
• Examine factors that are important in determining the
success of an intimate relationship, and where to get help
when a relationship has problems.
• Discuss actions that can improve interpersonal
interactions.
• Examine factors that affect life decisions, such as whether
to have children.
Copyright © 2010 Pearson Education, Inc.
Forming Intimate Relationships
• Characteristics of intimate relationships
• Behavioral interdependence
• Need fulfillment
• Emotional attachment
• Emotional availability
• Intimate relationships are a means of need fulfillment.
• Intimacy
• Social integration
• Nurturance
• Assistance
• Affirmation
Copyright © 2010 Pearson Education, Inc.
How Intimate Is a Relationship?
Copyright © 2010 Pearson Education, Inc.
Being Self-Nurturant
• Accountability
• Responsible for your own decisions, choices, and
actions
• Self-nurturance
• Realistic appreciation of self-worth and ability
Copyright © 2010 Pearson Education, Inc.
Families: The Ties that Bind
• Family of origin
comprises the people
present in the
household during a
child’s first years of
life.
• Nuclear family
consists
of parents and their
offspring.
Copyright © 2010 Pearson Education, Inc.
Establishing Friendships
• What makes a good friendship?
• Enjoyment
• Acceptance
• Respect
• Mutual assistance
• Confiding
• Understanding
• Spontaneity
Copyright © 2010 Pearson Education, Inc.
Significant Others, Partners, Couples
• Along with the characteristics of friendship, love
relationships include these characteristics:
• Fascination: paying attention to the other person at the
expense of other activities
• Exclusiveness: giving the love relationship priority over
all others
• Sexual desire: desiring physical intimacy and wanting to
touch, hold, and engage in sexual activities with each
other
• Giving the utmost: providing unlimited support when the
other is in need, sometimes to the point of extreme
sacrifice
• Being a champion or advocate: actively championing
each other’s interests
Copyright © 2010 Pearson Education, Inc.
Common Bonds of Friends and Lovers
Copyright © 2010 Pearson Education, Inc.
Figure 5.1
This Thing Called Love
• Two types of love
• Companionate or
mature
• Passionate or lust
• Triangular Theory of
Love
• Intimacy
• Passion
• Decision and
commitment
Copyright © 2010 Pearson Education, Inc.
Activity Break: Turn to a Partner
• In groups of two to three, answer the following
questions.
• Is there only one right person for everyone?
• How does society promote this soul mate notion?
• How do we encourage children, adolescents, and
ourselves to believe there may be more than one
person who would be a suitable partner?
• How do we distinguish between lust and love?
• How do we distinguish between fantasy (media,
books, etc.) and reality?
Copyright © 2010 Pearson Education, Inc.
How Perception Affects Communication
• Perception is the process by which people filter
and interpret information from the senses to create
a meaningful picture of the world.
• Factors that affect self-perception
• Self-concept
• Self-esteem
Copyright © 2010 Pearson Education, Inc.
Improving Your Communication Skills
• Learn appropriate self-disclosure.
• Get to know yourself.
• Become more accepting of yourself.
• Be willing to discuss your sexual history—with your
partner of course.
• Choose a safe context for self-disclosure.
Copyright © 2010 Pearson Education, Inc.
Improving Your Communication Skills (cont.)
• Be a better listener.
• Competitive, or combative, listening: more interested
in promoting our own point of view
• Passive, or attentive, listening: genuinely interested
in hearing and understanding the other person’s
point of view
• Active, or reflective, listening: active in confirming
our understanding before responding with our own
new message
Copyright © 2010 Pearson Education, Inc.
Nonverbal Communication
• Nonverbal communication includes all unwritten
and unspoken messages, both intentional and
unintentional.
• Touch
• Gesture
• Interpersonal space
• Facial expressions
• Body language
• Tone of voice
Copyright © 2010 Pearson Education, Inc.
Managing Conflict
• Conflict is an emotional state that arises when the
behavior of one person interferes with the behavior
of another.
• Conflict-resolution strategies
• Identify the problem or issues.
• Generate several possible solutions.
• Decide on the best solution.
• Implement the solution.
• Follow up.
Copyright © 2010 Pearson Education, Inc.
Gender Issues in Relationships
• Genderlect is differences in word choices,
interruption patterns, questioning patterns, language
interpretations and misinterpretations, and vocal
influences that are based on gender.
• Understanding gender differences in communication
patterns is the first step toward promoting effective
communication.
Copyright © 2010 Pearson Education, Inc.
Troubles Talk: How Men and Women
Respond: Men
Copyright © 2010 Pearson Education, Inc.
Troubles Talk: How Men and Women
Respond: Women
Copyright © 2010 Pearson Education, Inc.
Figure 5.3b
Activity Break: Match.com Ad
• Get in all-male or all-female groups of four to five.
• Create an online ad for Match.com (3 to 4
minutes).
• After your group has come up with a list, please put
it on the board; no need to repeat qualities.
Copyright © 2010 Pearson Education, Inc.
Picking Partners
• Influenced by more than just chemical and
psychological processes
• Proximity
• Similarities
• Reciprocity
• Physical attraction
Copyright © 2010 Pearson Education, Inc.
Jealousy in Relationships
• Jealousy is an aversive reaction evoked by a real
or imagined relationship involving one’s partner and
a third person.
• Overdependence on the relationship
• Severity of the threat
• High value on sexual exclusivity
• Low self esteem
• Fear of losing control
Copyright © 2010 Pearson Education, Inc.
Committed Relationships
• Marriage
• Monogamy
• Serial monogamy
• Open relationship
• Cohabitation
• Common-law marriage
• Gay and lesbian partnerships
Copyright © 2010 Pearson Education, Inc.
ABC News Video: Jilted Brides Bounce Back
| Jilted Brides Bounce Back
Discussion Questions
1. Which of the brides do you think had the
healthiest reaction? What do you think is the best
way to deal with a negative event such as being
left at the altar?
2. In what ways does communication support a
relationship? What happens when communication
falters, and what are strategies that can be used
to overcome communication problems?
Copyright © 2010 Pearson Education, Inc.
Staying Single
Copyright © 2010 Pearson Education, Inc.
Success in Relationships
• Confronting couples issues
• Changing gender roles: Modern society has very
few gender-specific roles.
• Sharing power: Dynamics between men and
women changed as women began enjoying their
own financial success.
• Unmet expectations: Not communicating our
expectations can lead to disappointment and hurt.
Copyright © 2010 Pearson Education, Inc.
Effects of Women’s Age and Ethnicity on
Marriage Success
Copyright © 2010 Pearson Education, Inc.
Effects of Women’s Age and Ethnicity on
Marriage Success (cont.)
Copyright © 2010 Pearson Education, Inc.
When and Why Relationships End
• Divorce rates have been estimated to be 50 percent;
however, this is misleading.
• The U.S. divorce rate is 41 percent and decreasing.
• Factors that influence divorce include:
• Age: Younger couples are more likely to not succeed.
• Socioeconomic scale: The lower they are on the SES,
the higher the likelihood of divorce.
• Family history: Those with divorce in the family have a
higher tolerance for divorce.
• Children: Those with children often try to hang on to an
“unhealthy” situation.
Copyright © 2010 Pearson Education, Inc.
Copyright © 2010 Pearson Education, Inc.
Copyright © 2010 Pearson Education, Inc.
Elements of Healthy Relationships
• Trust
• Predictability
• Dependability
• Faith
• Behavior interpretation in the context of the
relationship
• Like your partner
• Sexual intimacy
• Shared and cherished history
Copyright © 2010 Pearson Education, Inc.
Copyright © 2010 Pearson Education, Inc.
Having Children or Not?
• Children are expensive
• One child costs an estimated $250,000 to raise
from birth to 17 years.
• Eighty percent of mothers work outside the home.
• Children from a previous marriage
• Add dynamics, can lead to stress
• Work, school, chores, and family obligations =
FATIGUE
Copyright © 2010 Pearson Education, Inc.