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Transcript
Five
Brushstrokes
Based loosely on Harry Nodin’s Image Grammar, taken from http://www.birnbaumslearners.com/
The Writer as Artist
The writer is an artist, painting images of life with specific and identifiable
brushstrokes, images as realistic as Wyeth and as abstract as Picasso. In the act
of creation, the writer, like the artist, relies on fundamental elements. As water
colorist Frank Webb explains, “Pictures are not made of flowers, guitars, people,
surf, or turf, but with irreducible elements of art: shapes, tones, directions, sizes,
lines, textures, and color”. Similarly, writing is not constructed merely from
experiences, information, characters, or plots, but from fundamental artistic
elements of grammar.
-Harry R. Noden, Image Grammar
Compare the following images,
the first written by a high school student…
It was winter. Everything was
frozen and white. Snow had fallen
from the sky for days. The
weather was horrible.
The second by novelist Brian Jacques…
Mossflower lay deep in the grip of midwinter beneath a
sky of leaden gray that showed tinges of scarlet and
orange on the horizon. A cold mantle of snow draped the
landscape, covering the flatlands to the west. Snow was
everywhere, filling the ditches, drifting high against the
hedgerows, making paths invisible, smoothing the
contours of earth in its white embrace.
Participles and Participial Phrases
– A verbal (usually ending in –ing or -ed)
that acts as an adjective.
– Adds more action to a description.
The snake attacked its prey.
Hissing, slithering, and coiling, the snake attacked its
prey.
Participles Painted by Ernest Hemingway
Shifting the weight of the line to his left
shoulder and kneeling carefully, he washed his
hand in the ocean and held it there, submerged,
for more than a minute, watching the blood trail
away and the steady movement of the water
against his hand as the boat moved.
--- Old Man and the Sea
by Ernest Hemingway
The dog ran to his owner.
The dog ran to his owner as fast as lightning, jumping into his owner’s
arms, tackling him, licking his face, showing so much love.
Running to his owner, the dog felt
the wind against his fur while the
pressure pushed his tongue to the
side of his face.
A young giraffe,
dehydrated and
lost, was relieved
when he finally
found a pond full
to the brim with
cold refreshing
water.
The giraffe drank the
water with its legs
spread as low as it
can to the ground,
and its long tongue
scooping the water
like a spoon, getting
as much as it can in
one gulp.
Appositive
– A noun or noun phrase that informs the
reader about a preceding noun.
– It expands details in the imagination.
The raccoon enjoys eating turtle eggs.
The raccoon, a midnight scavenger, enjoys eating
turtle eggs.
Appositives used by professional writers:
"The Otis Elevator Company, the world’s oldest and biggest
elevator manufacturer, claims that its products carry the
equivalent of the world’s population every five days."
(Nick Paumgarten, "Up and Then Down." The New Yorker, Apr.
21, 2008)
"Though her cheeks were high-colored and her teeth strong and
yellow, she looked like a mechanical woman, a machine with
flashing, glassy circles for eyes."
(Kate Simon, Bronx Primitive, 1982)
These are taken from http://grammar.about.com/od/ab/g/apposterm.htm There are more examples
there as well!
The zebras, one of the deadliest animals in the jungle, turned to face the
noise.
The zebras turned to face the booming gunshot.
Some more sentences to add
appositives to:
The landscape stretched before them.
Susan's mother stared absent-mindedly into the hallway.
The alligator ambled across the hot Florida highway.
Independent Clauses
– Attach independent clauses to the main
action through the use of coordinating
conjunctions:
– For, And, Nor, But, Or, Yet, So
The cat climbed the tree.
The flowers made it sneeze.
The cat made its way to the nest at the top.
The birds flew away.
Dependent Clauses
• Use subordinating conjunctions to
attach dependent clauses to the main
action:
• Although, As, Because, Before, Unless,
Until, When, Where, While
The cat climbs the tree, until the flowers make it
sneeze.
The cat made its way to the nest at the top before
the birds could fly away.
The birds flew away before the cat made its way to
the nest at the top.
Note how these authors use
dependent clauses:
“When I was young, I used to admire
intelligent people; as I grow older, I admire
kind people.”
--Abraham Joshua Heschel
"I am always ready to learn although I do
not always like being taught.“
--Winston Churchill
Loose vs. Periodic Sentences
Choose whether your main clause is going to begin
or end your sentence.
LOOSE SENTENCES begin with subject and verb,
and then tack on modifiers afterwards.
PERIODIC SENTENCES build towards a culminating
main idea– their subject and verb tend to come at
the end.
Here’s a main clause to work with– try
adding some modifiers to make the sentence
either loose or periodic, whichever seems
better:
The red-tailed hawk spread its wings.
Was your hawk sentence loose or
periodic? Switch it up for the frog!
Whatever you tried with the hawk, do
the opposite this time.
The frog struggled to stay on the stem.
Some loose and periodic sentences written by
professional authors:
Can you guess which is which?
"I knew I had found a friend in the woman, who herself was a lonely soul,
never having known the love of man or child." (Emma Goldman)
"In the almost incredibly brief time which it took the small but sturdy porter
to roll a milk-can across the platform and bump it, with a clang, against
other milk-cans similarly treated a moment before, she fell in love."
(P.G. Wodehouse, Something Fresh, 1915)
"The proper place in the sentence for the word or group of words that the
writer desires to make most prominent is usually the end."(William Strunk,
Jr., and E.B. White, The Elements of Style)