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Attachment and Human Mating
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Summary of:
Hazan, C. Diamond, L.M. The placement of attachment in human mating. Review of
General Psychology, 4(2), June 2000.186-204.
Summary by Stephanie Anyakwo, Joi James, and Natalie Sparrow
For Dr. Mill’s Psyc 452 class, Spring 2008
The standard evolutionary model of mate selection, formally known as sexual
strategies theory, has a vast amount of support within the physical and social sciences
communities and is often thought of as truth, not theory. Given this, other theories of
mate selection have not been given serious consideration. Despite the monopoly that the
standard evolutionary model has on our views of mate selection, Hazan and Diamond
have proposed the attachment mode of human mating. This theory remains true to the
fundamentals of evolutionary theory and has empirical support from a wide variety of
sources.
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The sexual strategies theory follows from parental investment theory (Trivers,
1972) and states that a cost differential between two sexes within a species to reproduce
their genes will lead to corresponding sex-specific strategies in mating behavior. In the
human species, a male’s initial investment to produce sex cells and the investment
following copulation is minimal. Males have numerous sperm and once copulation is
finished, they too are finished. Females on the other hand, have more initial cost because
they only possess a limited number of sex cells. Additionally, the investment for females
following copulation can involve years of offspring care. Given this difference between
males and females in the cost of reproducing their genes, the selection of mates and
mating behavior differ accordingly. Males will naturally take the advantage to copulate
with as many females as possible, especially those with fertility markers of youth and
beauty. Whereas, females by nature are more sexually cautious, selecting mates who
possess resources that would aid in the support of offspring.
Studies used to test the sexual strategies theory have relied upon self report
measures of participants’ prediction of the qualities they will use to select mates. These
studies reveal nothing about whether reported selection criteria translate into actual mate
choices. Results from a study that utilized data from the Minnesota Twin Registry on
Monozygotic twins were used to prove this point. If mate selection is guided by the
characteristics of choosers, and the mate value of those doing the choosing is the same
(they are identical twins), then mates chosen by MZ twins should be more similar than
mates chosen by randomly selected pairs. The study found that the mates chosen by MZ
twins were no more similar that the mates chosen by the randomly selected pair. These
results suggest that there is a limitation in the sexual strategies theory because if choosing
a mate is based on the chooser’s mate value and the status of the one being chosen, the
mate choices of the MZ twins would be more alike than different. This suggests that the
empirical research cited in support of the sexual strategies theory lacks validity and thus
cannot predict real-world mate selection behavior.
Hazan and Diamond suggest that attachment, a mechanism present from birth,
should be at the center of any theory of mating. They begin their proposal of an
attachment theory of mating by first documenting how a long term mating strategy could
evolve to become more widely practiced than the short term mating strategy prevalent in
the sexual strategies theory. The evolution of the long term mating strategy begins with a
birthing crisis that was created when humans began to walk upright (bipedal) and the
pelvis became narrower. The large brain of the baby was unable to fit through the
narrower pelvis and thus it became advantageous for human offspring to be born
“prematurely”. The vulnerability of offspring created a new evolutionary problem. How
would the mother successfully care for offspring that were incapable of basic survival
functions? This adaptive problem was solved by exploiting the already present
attachment bond between the mother and child so that it also applied to the adult mates.
This exaptation, or evolution of already present structures for a novel purpose, created a
bond between mating partners similar to the bond between a child and caretaker. This
attachment bond keeps fathers interested in their mate after copulation, and gives the
premature baby another source of care.
Attachment and Human Mating
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Attachment is defined by Hazan and Diamond as a specialized but flexible
mechanism for fostering an enduring bond between two individuals. John Bolby’s
research on attachment in the human life cycle is cited as evidence for this exaptation of
attachment. He identified four defining features of attachment that are almost exclusively
formed between offspring and caretaker, two romantic partners. These features are 1)
proximity maintenance, 2) safe haven, 3) separation distress, and 4) secure base. As a
child these behaviors are directed toward your primary caregiver and as an adult they are
directed to your mate.
Additional evidence that attachment is an integral component to mate
relationships is provided. This evidence is used to support the notion that there are
similarities in the attachment bond of mates and the attachment bond between children
and their primary care giver. The evidence includes the following topics that help to
illustrate the innate benefits of attachment in mates. The main topics of the evidence are:
1) Reactions to Separation and Loss- both children and mates exhibit the protest-despairdetachment sequence when separated from the object of their attachment. This sequence
is not observed in other social ties. 2) Health Effects- Reported health benefits of
attachment and increase in health problems reported when without attachment. Other
losses do not affect the physical or emotional well being to the same extent. 3) Nature of
Physical Contact- Intimate exchanges characterized by gazing, cuddling, face to face
contact, and kissing foster attachment between two mates and children and their primary
caregivers. Oxytocin, a hormone that fosters attachment is released by mothers when
lactating, and the hormone is also present in sexual exchanges between adult lovers. 4)
Sexual Anatomy and Physiology- The absence of outward signs of estrus in human
females and the continuation of sex past menopause suggest that sexual intercourse
serves more than a reproductive function for our species. 5) Mate Preferences- Top
ranked qualities in mates are those that foster attachment, not those associated with
physical attractiveness or social status and resource value. These preferred qualities are
reported by both males and females thus suggesting that sex differences do not exist in
regard to the importance of attachment in mates.
The attachment bond’s usefulness in aiding in reproduction must also be
examined. The authors argue that the advantages of pair bonding include enhanced
survival and enhanced reproductive fitness, for mates as well as their offspring.
The article proposes the existence of a specific mechanism to foster mate
attachment, romantic infatuation. The authors suggest that it is this mechanism that
allows two mates to move from attraction to attachment. The mechanism of romantic
infatuation is necessary because it holds the mates together long enough for an
attachment to form. This mechanism aids in the exclusion of other people as possible
mates by creating a mental preoccupation and idealization between the pair. Although
romantic infatuation explains how two potential mates could become attached to each
other, it is still necessary to understand why one particular individual becomes the sole
focus of attention. While the sexual strategies theory suggests that there are specific
triggers for infatuation, the attachment model insists that mate selection occurs in a more
flexible manner. The authors state that propinquity (physical nearness), familiarity, and
Attachment and Human Mating
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individual qualities considerably narrow the pool of possible mates. The transition
between merely finding a person attractive and making him or her the object of your
affection is accomplished with reciprocal interest. After a pair has determined if there is
mutual interest then the romantic infatuation mechanism activates to hold the pair
together long enough for attachment to occur. The progression of mate selection
according the attachment theory is depicted in the figure below.
Figure 1. Progression of mate selection according to the attachment theory
Mate Search
Reciprocal
Interest
Romantic
Infatuation
Attachment
Threshold of
Propinquity
Acceptability And Familiarity
Additional limitations of the basic foundations of the sexual strategies theory are
presented. They include a reexamination of studies documented by Buss, and conclude
that men do not naturally prefer short-term mating and women do not naturally care more
about status and resources.
Outline of:
Hazan, C. Diamond, L.M. (2000). The place of attachment in human mating. Review of
General Psychology, 4, 186-204.
Outline by Stephanie Anyakwo, Joi James, and Natalie Sparrow
I. Introduction
A. Problems with the sexual strategies theory
1. desired qualities identified by people are not what they ultimately use for mate
selection
a. people are not always aware of what influences their mate choices
2. unexpected results found when investigating the mate choices of monozygotic
(MZ) twins
a. the mates of MZ twins are no more similar to each other than mates of
random pairs
II. Evolution of a Long Term Mating Strategy
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A. Birth crisis creates a new evolutionary problem
1. Infants incapable of basic survival functions
2. Exaptation of the attachment mechanism already present between infant
and caretaker.
3. Attachment mechanism between the mates initiate long term mating and
longer parental investment from fathers
III. Defining Features of Attachment
A. Attachment: a specialized but flexible mechanism for fostering and enduring bond
between two individuals
B. Bolby’s four features of attachment
1. Proximity Maintenance
2. Safe Haven
3. Separation Distress
4. Secure Base
IV. Attachment as an Integral Component of Mate Relationships
A. Evidence of the innate benefits of attachment
1. Reactions to separation and loss
2. Health effects
3. Nature of physical contact
4. Sexual anatomy and physiology
5. Mate preferences
B. Attachment reproductively advantageous
1. Enhanced survival
2. Enhanced reproductive fitness for mates and offspring
V. Mate Selection as flexible
A. Initial Filters
1. Propinquity
2. Familiarity
3. Individual qualities
B. From attraction to the object of affection
1. Reciprocal interest
C. Specific mechanism to foster mate attachment
1. Romantic Infatuation
a. Holds mates together long enough for an attachment to form
b. reduces need for sleep and food
c. increases energy
d.increases longing for physical contact
D. A lasting bond between mates
1. Attachment
VI. Limitations on the foundations of sexual strategies theory
A. Men do not naturally prefer short term mating
Attachment and Human Mating
1. Descriptive statistics misleading because distribution skewed by outlier
responses
2. Males and Females prefer the same number of partners, 1
B. Women do not naturally care more about status and resources
1. The degree to which women judge men on their status and resources vary as a
function of their own financial standing
2. Not a psychological mechanism but an environmental universal
Test Questions
Multiple Choice
1. ______________ is an adaptive mechanism employed to foster attachment.
A. Undetectable estrus
B. Sexual activity
C. Romantic infatuation
D. Neotenous features
2. A new theory that offers a comprehensive model of human mating is:
A. Romantic Infatuation Theory
B. Standard Evolutionary Theory
C. Pair-Bond Attachment Theory
D. Sexual Strategy Theory
3. According to the attachment theory of mating, which of following does not influence
the selection of mate?
A. Propinquity
B. Individual qualities
C. Familiarity
D. Social status
True or False
4. The exaptation of the attachment mechanism in the child/caregiver relationship was
triggered by a novel evolutionary problem, the drastic change in environmental
temperature and a male’s inability to provide resources for the mother and new born.
A. True
B. False
5. The absence of outward signs of estrus suggests that sexual intercourse serves more
than a reproductive function for our species.
A. True
B. False
6. According to the attachment theory of mating, the mate selections of Monozygotic
Twins will be less alike than the mate selections of random pairs.
A. True
B. False
Answer Key
1. C-Romantic Infatuation
2. C- Pair Bond Attachment Theory
3. D- Social Status
4. B- False – Exaptation triggered by birthing crisis
5. A- True
6. B- False
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