Download Unit 2 Strengthing Relationships

STRENGTHENING
RELATIONSHIPS
UNIT #2
RELATIONSHIPS
FAMILY RELATIONSHIPS-WE FIRST LEARN ABOUT LOVING AND CARING
RELATIONSHIPS FROM OUR FAMILIES. IDEALLY EACH CHILD IS
NURTURED, RESPECTED AND GROWS TO CARE FOR OTHERS AND
DEVELOP STRONG AND HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS. HAVING HEALTHY
RELATIONSHIPS WITH YOUR FAMILY MEMBERS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND
DIFFICULT. FAMILIES IN THE 21ST CENTURY COME IN ALL SHAPES AND
SIZES. NO MATTER WHAT “TYPE” OF FAMILY YOU HAVE, THERE ARE
GOING TO BE HIGHS AND LOW-GOOD TIMES AND BAD. IT IS NEVER
TOO LATE TO BEGIN THE PROCESS OF IMPROVING FAMILY
RELATIONSHIPS BY DEVELOPING SOME SKILLS SUCH AS
COMMUNICATION SKILLS. FAMILIES NEED TO BE UNITS OF MUTUAL
CARING AND SUPPORT; THEY CAN BE SOURCES OF LIFELONG
STRENGTH FOR ALL INDIVIDUALS.
FRIENDSHIPS- A FRIEND IS DEFINED AS A PERSON WHO YOU KNOW
WELL AND REGARD WITH AFFECTION, TRUST AND RESPECT.
CASUAL RELATIONSHIPS- ARE FORMED WITH PEOPLE YOU
ENCOUNTER EVERYDAY—ANYONE WHO IS NOT A FRIEND, ROMANTIC
RELATIONSHIP, OR FAMILY MEMBER. FOR EXAMPLE: A DOCTOR,
TEACHER, CLASSMATE, ETC.
ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS- ANY RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN TWO
PEOPLE WITH THE DESIRE TO BECOME INTIMATE WITH EACH OTHER.
BOTH PARTNERS MUST FEEL ATTRACTION TO EACH OTHER.
DIFFERENT TYPES OF RELATIONSHIPS
FRIENDSHIP
TEAMMATE
ACQUAINTANCE
MENTOR
PARENT-CHILD SIBLING
BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND
NEIGHBOR
BOSS-WORKER
CO-WORKER
TEACHER-STUDENT
CLASSMATE
•AUTHENTICITY
•ACHIEVEMENT
CORE VALUES
•ADVENTURE
•AUTHORITY
•AUTONOMY
•BALANCE
•BEAUTY
•BOLDNESS
•COMPASSION
•CHALLENGE
•CITIZENSHIP
•COMMUNITY
•COMPETENCY
•CONTRIBUTION
•CREATIVITY
•CURIOSITY
•Determination
•Fairness
•Faith
•Fame
•Friendships
•Fun
•Respect
•Responsibility
•Security
•Self-Respect
•Service
•Spirituality
•Stability
•Success
•Status
•Trustworthiness
•Wealth
•Wisdom
•Growth
•Happiness
•Honesty
•Humor
•Influence
•Inner Harmony
•Justice
•Kindness
•Knowledge
•Leadership
•Learning
•Love
•Loyalty
•Meaningful
Work
•Openness
•Optimism
•Peace
•Pleasure
•Poise
•Popularity
•Recognition
•Religion
•Reputation
RELATIONSHIP CHARACTERISTICS
COMMUNICATION
ALTHOUGH IT MAY SEEM SIMPLE, COMMUNICATION IS A COMPLEX PROCESS.
COMMUNICATION IS AN EXCHANGE OF INFORMATION BETWEEN TWO OR MORE
PEOPLE. IT IS A TWO-WAY PROCESS THAT INVOLVES BOTH SENDING AND
RECEIVING MESSAGES.
THE SENDER TRANSMITS OR SENDS THE MESSAGE (THE SENDER NEEDS SKILLS IN
SENDING CLEAR AND ACCURATE MESSAGES). THE RECEIVER HEARS AND
INTERPRETS THE MESSAGE (THE RECEIVER NEEDS SKILLS IN LISTENING TO THE
MESSAGE AND INTERPRETING IT CORRECTLY).
FEEDBACK IS A SIGN BACK TO THE SENDER THAT THE MESSAGE IS UNDERSTOOD.
GOOD COMMUNICATION OCCURS WHEN THE SENDER OF THE MESSAGE AND
THE RECEIVER END UP WITH A SHARED MEANING ABOUT THE MESSAGE. IN OTHER
WORDS, THEY BOTH UNDERSTAND THE MEANING OF THE MESSAGE.
TYPES OF COMMUNICATION
VERBAL COMMUNICATION – IS THE
NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION –
A WAY OF SENDING AND
USE OF WORDS TO SEND AND RECEIVE
MESSAGES. SPEAKING AND WRITING
RECEIVING MESSAGES WITHOUT
USING WORDS. THIS INCLUDES
BODY LANGUAGE SUCH AS
FACIAL EXPRESSIONS, EYE
CONTACT AND GESTURE. YOUR
CULTURE, BACKGROUND AND
PAST EXPERIENCES CAN
INFLUENCE HOW YOU INTERPRET
BODY LANGUAGE.
ARE FORMS OF VERBAL
COMMUNICATION. YOUR
ENVIRONMENT INFLUENCES THE
WORDS YOU USE AND THE WAY YOU
USE THEM TO EXPRESS YOURSELF. FOR
EXAMPLE, FROM YOUR FAMILY, YOU
LEARNED A CERTAIN LANGUAGE, YOU
PROBABLY USE A MORE INFORMAL
LANGUAGE WITH YOUR FRIENDS AND
THE REGION OF THE COUNTRY WHERE
YOU LIVE INFLUENCES THE WAY YOU
SPEAK.
RECEIVING MESSAGES
FOR GOOD COMMUNICATION TO OCCUR, YOU NEED TO SPEAK AND LISTEN WELL.
YOU RECEIVE MESSAGES IN TWO PARTS. FIRST YOU TAKE IN THE MESSAGE AND
THEN YOU INTERPRET IT.
WHEN PEOPLE JUST TAKE IN MESSAGES, THEY ARE USING PASSIVE LISTENING.
THIS MEANS THEY ARE HEARING WORDS WITHOUT ALWAYS LISTENING.
HOW DO YOU FEEL WHEN THE PERSON YOU ARE TALKING TO DOES NOT
RESPOND? THE PERSON DOES NOT SMILE, NOD OR COMMENT. YOU CAN BE
CERTAIN THAT YOU ARE INTERPRETING A MESSAGE CLEARLY WHEN YOU USE
ACTIVE LISTENING.
THIS MEANS YOU GIVE THE SENDER SOME TYPE OF SIGN THAT YOU ARE
LISTENING. THE FEEDBACK MIGHT BE A SHORT VERBAL RESPONSE SUCH AS “YES”,
CHECKING OUT (“DID YOU SAY HIS CAR WAS WRECKED?”) OR REFLECTING
(“WHAT I HEAR YOU SAYING IS……”).
EXPRESSING YOURSELF
DO YOU EVER HAVE A HARD TIME TELLING SOMEONE HOW YOU REALLY
FEEL? MAYBE A FRIEND ASKED TO BORROW YOUR CAR. YOU WERE NOT
SURE HOW TO SAY NO WITHOUT HURTING HIS OR HER FEELINGS. YOU LET
YOUR FRIEND USE YOUR CAR BUT YOU WORRIED THE WHOLE TIME IT WAS
GONE.
USING I-STATEMENTS TO EXPRESS YOUR THOUGHTS, FEELINGS AND IDEAS
CAN HELP YOU SPEAK FOR YOURSELF – FROM YOUR POINT OF VIEW. USING
THESE STATEMENTS GIVES YOU RESPONSIBILITY AND CONTROL OVER WHAT
YOU COMMUNICATE TO OTHERS.
FOR EXAMPLE: “I SEE THAT YOU WANT TO BORROW MY CAR. I’VE WORKED
HARD TO MAKE THE CAR LOOK NICE. I FEEL WORRIED WHEN SOMEONE
WANTS TO USE MY CAR. I’M AFRAID THAT PERSON MAY HAVE AN ACCIDENT
WITH IT. I REALLY DON’T WANT TO LEND MY CAR. I PLAN TO STICK TO MY
POLICY OF NOT LENDING IT TO ANYONE”.
COMMUNICATION ACTIVITY- I STATEMENTS
HTTPS://WWW.YOUTUBE.COM/WATCH?V=EIHO2S
0ZAHI
TEDTALK: HOW TO SPEAK SO PEOPLE LISTEN.
REFLECTION #12
WRITE
RELATIONSHIPS AND COMMUNICATION THAT WE HAVE COVERED
THE LAST COUPLE CLASSES. IDENTIFY AND MAKE CONNECTIONS TO YOUR PERSONAL LIVES.
A SHORT RESPONSE TO
FACTORS AFFECTING COMMUNICATION
YOUR SELF-ESTEEM:
LOW SELF ESTEEM - PEOPLE WITH LOW SELF-ESTEEM SEND AND INTERPRET
MESSAGES DIFFERENTLY THAN THOSE WITH HIGH SELF-ESTEEM. THEY:
-
MAY NOT BE SURE OF THEIR OWN FEELINGS
-
OFTEN AVOID DIRECT EYE CONTACT, WHICH PREVENTS THEM FROM
ACCURATELY SENDING AND RECEIVING MESSAGES
-
MAY FEAR THAT OTHERS WILL REJECT THEM AND THEIR IDEAS, SO THEY ARE
AFRAID TO LET OTHERS KNOW WHAT THEY REALLY THINK AND FEEL.
NEGATIVE COMMUNICATION PATTERNS – WHEN THEIR SELF-ESTEEM IS LOW, PEOPLE
TEND TO COMMUNICATE IN NEGATIVE PATTERNS. THEY MAY USE THE FOLLOWING
PATTERNS TO AVOID SAYING HOW THEY REALLY THINK OR FEEL:
- LYING (PEOPLE ARE NOT HONEST, DO NOT SHARE OBSERVATIONS, THOUGHTS AND
FEELINGS IN AN ACCURATE WAY)
- BLAMING (PEOPLE ACCUSE OTHERS FOR EVERYTHING THAT GOES WRONG TO COVER
UP THEIR LOW SELF ESTEEM)
- PLACATING (PEOPLE WILL DO OR SAY SOMETHING JUST TO PLEASE OTHERS OR TO
KEEP THEM FROM GETTING UPSET. IT IS EASIER AND DOESN’T THREATEN THEIR ALREADY
LOW SELF-ESTEEM)
- DISTRACTING (PEOPLE JUST IGNORE UNPLEASANT SITUATIONS BECAUSE IT IS EASIER
THAN RISKING AN ATTACK ON THEIR LOW SELF-ESTEEM)
AS SELF-ESTEEM INCREASES, SO DOES THE ABILITY TO COMMUNICATE CLEARLY. PEOPLE
WITH STRONG FEELINGS OF VALUE AND SELF WORTH USUALLY FEEL GOOD ABOUT
THEMSELVES AND ARE NOT AFRAID TO SHARE THEIR PERSONAL THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS
WITH OTHERS.
YOUR EMOTIONAL STATE
BEFORE TRYING TO COMMUNICATE YOU NEED TO RECOGNIZE YOUR EMOTIONAL
STATE. INTENSE EMOTIONS CAN GET IN THE WAY OF SHARING COMPLEX
THOUGHTS AND IDEAS. IF YOUR EMOTIONS ARE INTENSE, LET THE OTHER PERSON
KNOW YOU NEED TIME TO SORT OUT YOUR FEELINGS BEFORE DISCUSSING THE
ISSUE. YOU CAN THINK ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS, WHAT CAUSED THEM, AND HOW
TO CONTROL THEM. YOU CAN ALSO AVOID UPSETTING THE OTHER PERSON. IF
YOU FEEL CALMER YOU WILL HAVE A GREATER SUCCESS AT COMMUNICATING A
MESSAGE OTHERS UNDERSTAND.
YOUR ENVIRONMENT
THE ENVIRONMENT IN WHICH YOU COMMUNICATE CAN AFFECT THE
COMMUNICATION PROCESS. FOR EXAMPLE:
-
THE TIME OF DAY OR THE AMOUNT OF TIME YOU HAVE CAN MAKE A
DIFFERENCE
-
A RELAXED ATMOSPHERE HELPS GOOD COMMUNICATION TAKE PLACE
-
A BUSY OR NOISY ENVIRONMENT MAKES IT HARDER
-
FATIGUE OR ILLNESS CAN KEEP A PERSON FROM SHOWING INTEREST
-
DISTANCE BETWEEN THE TWO WHO ARE COMMUNICATING MAKES IT HARDER
TO INTERPRET BODY LANGUAGE AND NONVERBAL SIGNALS
-
COMMUNICATING VIA THE INTERNET OR EVEN OVER THE PHONE MAKES IT
HARDER TO GET A COMPLETE PICTURE OF THE SENDER’S TOTAL MESSAGE.
AN ENVIRONMENT THAT ALLOWS DIRECT EYE CONTACT AND A CHANCE TO READ
NONVERBAL SIGNALS WILL PROMOTE THE MOST ACCURATE INTERPRETATION OF
THE SENDER’S MESSAGE.
COMMUNICATION BARRIERS
TWO OF THE MOST COMMON OTHER BARRIERS TO COMMUNICATION ARE CLOSED MINDS
AND PREJUDICE:
PEOPLE WITH CLOSED MINDS SHUT OUT OR IGNORE OPINIONS AND BELIEFS THAT ARE
DIFFERENT FROM THEIR OWN. AS RECEIVERS THEY MAY FILTER OUT INFORMATION THEY
DO NOT WANT TO HEAR. THEY TUNE OUT THE MESSAGE THE SENDER IS TRYING TO
SHARE.
PREJUDICE OCCURS WHEN A PERSON FORMS OPINIONS ABOUT OTHERS WITHOUT
COMPLETE KNOWLEDGE OR FACTS.
TO OVERCOME THESE BARRIERS YOU CAN:
-
KEEP AN OPEN MIND
-
OVERCOME PREJUDICE OF OTHERS BY ASKING QUESTIONS AND GETTING ALL THE
FACTS BEFORE FORMING AN OPINION.
-
TRY TO UNDERSTAND AND ACCEPT OTHERS DIFFERENCES.
GROUP ACTIVITY – IN YOUR GROUP DISCUSS THE
FOLLOWING QUESTIONS:
1. WHAT IMPACT ON COMMUNICATION DO YOU THINK CURRENT
TECHNOLOGIES HAVE?
2. HOW DO SOME OF THE COMMUNICATION TECHNOLOGIES WE
USE (CELL PHONES, E-MAIL) AFFECT THE SHARING OF EMOTIONS?
3. HOW DO THEY IMPACT THE FEEDBACK WE GET DURING
COMMUNICATION TO MAKE SURE WE REACH A SHARED MESSAGE?
4. DO YOU THINK THESE TECHNOLOGIES MAKE IT HARDER OR EASIER
TO CARRY ON CLEAR, DIRECT COMMUNICATIONS THAT ARE
INTERPRETED AS THE SENDER INTENDED.
ACTIVITY HANDOUT – BARRIERS TO
COMMUNICATION
SKILLS FOR CONFLICT RESOLUTION
MANY PROBLEMS OCCUR IN RELATIONSHIPS BECAUSE OF POOR
COMMUNICATION. A MESSAGE MAY NOT HAVE BEEN SENT
CLEARLY. SOMETIMES THE MESSAGE IS MISINTERPRETED OR NOT
RECEIVED ACCURATELY. AS A RESULT PEOPLE DISAGREE OR
ARGUE. FEELINGS GET HURT. WHEN CONFLICT OCCURS, IT IS
IMPORTANT TO RESTORE GOOD COMMUNICATION AND POSITIVE
FEELINGS. IF LEFT UNRESOLVED, CONFLICTS CAN THREATEN
RELATIONSHIPS.
CONFLICTS OCCUR WHEN ANY TWO PEOPLE DISAGREE ON SOME
ISSUE. SOME CONFLICT IS A NORMAL PART OF MOST
RELATIONSHIPS. EVEN WHEN PEOPLE ATTEMPT TO
COMMUNICATE CLEARLY, CONFLICT CAN OCCUR.
ALTHOUGH CONFLICT OCCURS FOR MANY REASONS, IT IS OFTEN
DUE TO DIFFERENT PERSONAL VALUES. FRIENDS MAY ARGUE
OVER WHERE TO EAT, AN EMPLOYER MAY FEEL AN EMPLOYEE IS
SPENDING TOO MUCH TIME TALKING TO FRIENDS, FAMILY
MEMBERS MAY DISAGREE OVER WHERE TO VACATION. BECAUSE
PEOPLE HAVE DIFFERENT PERSONALITIES, WANTS AND NEEDS,
CONFLICT IS COMMON.
PEOPLE OFTEN RESPOND TO A DISAGREEMENT BY ARGUING.
THIS NEGATIVE FORM OF COMMUNICATION IS USED TO PROTECT
THEIR SELF-ESTEEM.
IT ATTACKS THE PERSON, NOT THE PROBLEM.
NAME-CALLING AND BLAMING ARE TWO TYPES OF YOUSTATEMENTS COMMONLY USED IN ARGUMENTS.
FOR EXAMPLE, “YOU ARE SO STUPID!” OR “YOU NEVER HELP
OUT!” BOTH ARE DESTRUCTIVE TO A RELATIONSHIP AS THEY
CREATE MORE HOSTILITY.
THE REAL CONFLICT IS LEFT UNRESOLVED.
CONFLICT RESOLUTION
CONFLICTS CANNOT ALWAYS BE ELIMINATED FROM CLOSE
RELATIONSHIPS, BUT THEY CAN BE CONTROLLED.
CONFLICT RESOLUTION IS A SKILL THAT CAN HELP YOU RESOLVE
CONFLICTS IN A POSITIVE WAY. IT ENCOURAGES A BETTER
UNDERSTANDING OF THE OTHER PERSON’S POINT OF VIEW.
OVERALL, IT HELPS YOU AND THE OTHER PERSON DEAL WITH
THE ISSUE AND REACH A FAIR SOLUTION.
THE FOLLOWING GUIDELINES CAN SET THE STAGE FOR
CONFLICT RESOLUTION TO OCCUR:
-
BRING THE CONFLICT INTO THE OPEN AS SOON AS POSSIBLE
FIND THE RIGHT TIME AND PLACE TO DISCUSS THE ISSUES
STAY CALM. SPEAK WITH A MODERATE TONE AND AT A MODERATE PACE
USE I-MESSAGES TO STATE YOUR THOUGHTS, FEELINGS AND IDEAS
STICK TO THE SUBJECT. DON’ T BRING UP OTHER ISSUES
BE SPECIFIC IN STATING THE FACTS THAT RELATE TO THE PROBLEM
AVOID YOU-MESSAGES. NAME CALLING, BLAMING OR ACCUSING MESSAGES
WON’ T SOLVE THE PROBLEM
DON’ T WALK AWAY FROM THE DISCUSSION
RECOGNIZE AND ACCEPT THE OTHER’S FEELINGS, IDEAS AND OPINIONS
KEEP YOUR EMOTIONS UNDER CONTROL
BE AN ACTIVE LISTENER WHEN THE OTHER PERSON SPEAKS
TRY TO COMPROMISE IN REACHING A SOLUTION
ONCE THE STAGE IS SET, THE FOLLOWING STEPS
MUST BE TAKEN TO RESOLVE A CONFLICT
SUCCESSFULLY:
1. IDENTIFY THE PROBLEM – USING GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS
SUCH AS I-STATEMENTS AND ACTIVE LISTENING CAN HELP TO IDENTIFY
THE PROBLEM. IT IS IMPORTANT TO TAKE TIME AND ANALYZE AND
IDENTIFY THE REAL PROBLEM BEFORE TAKING ANY ACTION.
2. IDENTIFY WHO OWNS THE PROBLEM – THE PERSON BOTHERED BY
THE SITUATION OWNS THE PROBLEM. IF THE PROBLEM AFFECTS OR
DISTURBS MORE THAN ONE PERSON, BOTH PEOPLE SHARE IT JOINTLY.
3. ACCEPT OWNERSHIP OF THE PROBLEM – IF TWO PEOPLE OWN THE
PROBLEM, THEY MUST WORK TOGETHER TO FIND A SOLUTION.
SOMETIMES ONLY ONE PERSON ACCEPTS THE RESPONSIBILITY FOR A
JOINT PROBLEM. IN THIS CASE, REACHING A SOLUTION THAT IS FAIR TO
BOTH PEOPLE IS OFTEN DIFFICULT.
• 4. SOLVE THE PROBLEM –WHEN A PROBLEM IS JOINTLY OWNED,
NEGOTIATION IS NEEDED TO RESOLVE THE SITUATION. NEGOTIATION IS A
COMMUNICATION PROCESS IN WHICH PEOPLE ALTERNATE BETWEEN
SENDING AND RECEIVING MESSAGES. THE PURPOSE IS TO REACH AN
AGREEABLE SOLUTION. SOMETIMES REACHING AN AGREEABLE SOLUTION
IS NOT ALWAYS EASY. ONE-SIDED THINKING CAN HINDER NEGOTIATION.
SOMETIMES ONE PERSON TAKES A STAND AND REFUSES TO RECOGNIZE
THE OTHER’S POINT OF VIEW. THEN A SOLUTION THAT IS SATISFACTORY
TO BOTH CANNOT BE REACHED. PEOPLE CAN OVERCOME OBSTACLES
DURING THE NEGOTIATION PROCESS THROUGH COMPROMISE.
COMPROMISE IS A GIVE AND TAKE METHOD THAT ALLOWS BOTH PEOPLE
TO EXPRESS THEMSELVES. NO ONE PERSON WINS OR LOSES. BOTH GIVE
IN A LITTLE TO REACH A SOLUTION THAT IS WORKABLE TO EACH.
• **ACTIVITY HANDOUT – WHO OWNS THE PROBLEM?
REMOVING NEGATIVE SELF TALK | ABRIA JOSEPH | TEDXYOUTH@NIST
QUIZ REVIEW-TUESDAY
**ACTIVITY – COMMUNICATION CROSSWORD PUZZLE