Survey
* Your assessment is very important for improving the workof artificial intelligence, which forms the content of this project
* Your assessment is very important for improving the workof artificial intelligence, which forms the content of this project
Thai Men Say “Duck is off the Menu” Posted on March 11, 2012 The perception among Thai people is that the Southern Thai are known for their outspokenness and straightforward behavior, qualities that are not so prevalent in other regions of Thailand due to the cultural aspects of the society. It is understood Thai Southerners have tempers that are best not provoked, otherwise dangerous repercussions may result. To the uninitiated to be at the stabbing end of this wrath the first time is a shock. My wife is from the South, her way to anger is bellicose in nature, building into an uncontrollable bluster that ends in bombastic volcanic displays of fury. I can best describe the oncoming of this reaction like fountains of verbal fire bursting out of her, building up into an argument against me like a skillful prosecuting lawyer arguing for the death penalty. For years whilst living in Bangkok and engaging in idle chit chat with taxi drivers who always seem to ask the same questions: Where are you from, how did you learn Thai so well, are you married to a Thai girl? Then the question the taxi driver will always ask is “where is your wife from?” When I explain my wife is from Sungkla province born and raised in Hatyai in the deep South – the common response is always “kor toad pak dai” which means, Oh my God, she’s South – I am sorry for you, followed with a bit of laughter and light banter. The norm in Thai culture is to hold your cool no matter the circumstance. Those that can maintain a sense of calm even under the most stressful situations are admired in Thai society. “Jai-ron” a common word in Thai language, means to have a hot temper. Displays of anger, rage or being rude are not well regarded in society. On the other hand showing consideration for others by not revealing your inner feelings or displaying exorbitant emotions whilst under stress, no matter what the cost to your personal comfort are fundamental traits learned from an early age in Thai Society. Keeping your cool gains a certain respect. This does not mean Thai people do not get mad or express anger, quite the contrary. The point I am making is the Thai – just like any other society get mad at each other, tempers are lost and the result can be disastrous; but as a general rule the Thai are a polite society. With regard to the Southern Thais, they too are as cool as the rest but be warned – you do not want to push them too far, their rope is a lot shorter than the rest of Thai society and their means of retribution can spell trouble for the would be attacker. It is a well-known fact in Thailand that in a jealous fit of rage, Southern Thai wives have the dubious reputation of exacting a mean revenge on her adulterous husband. In this case there is no pussy footing around, she has deemed her husband persona non grata and will deal with him irrespective of the law. This intimidating behavior is troubling and has always given me pause with my own loose-cannon Southern born Thai wife roaming the dark hallways of our home at night. If all of the graphic deeds described above is not enough to send you running off to safe harbors in the North, please let me present you with another story about Southern Thai wives. However, I must digress for a moment, by stating something opposed to what was described above: “Given my choice I prefer to live in the South but away from the ducks.” What could possibly be the reason for anyone to ever want to live in Southern Thai territory with high-tempered straightforward people? Southerners tell it like it is a trait not as common in the rest of Thailand. It is true Southerner’s tend to have a temper but they also possess a tremendous light hearted wit and humor. They are warm and gracious to all and best of note Southerners have a deep sense of loyalty to family and friends. Personally, I have enjoyed the many years of traveling throughout the Southern territories of Thailand. South Thailand is resplendent in beauty. Starting at Chumpon and continuing all the way to Satun near the Malaysia boarder anyone driving through it is deeply pleasured by the remarkable scenery. The topography is both mountainous and flat encompassing many agricultural sections. There are countless tropical islands both on the Andaman Sea and the Gulf of Thailand side. The area is incredibly productive – growing fruits and vegetables, rice, palm oil and rubber. The South is stunning, sophisticated and interesting drawing a majority of foreign tourists visiting Thailand. I have presented opposing points of view that Southerners have a reputation for their outspokenness and temper. It could not be avoided because before telling you dear reader what is commonly known in Thailand about Southern women, all sides of the coin had to be revealed about the South. By this time you may be wondering about the title of this piece “The Penis and the Duck” which I must now explain. The first time I heard about the unusual method of revenge used by Southern Thai wives, a vengeance and retaliation aimed at their unfaithful husbands, well– of course I couldn’t believe it. I thought it was exaggeration or make believe. What I am about to tell you is true, I have read about it in newspapers countless times and had many a conversation with Thai people that outright swear it is a true fact of life in the Southern provinces of Thailand. Curious and cruel it may seem but justly it could be described as an outrageous attack on manhood the known custom practiced by these women –I can only describe it as morbidly creepy. What I am unfolding is the offensive practice that is the norm in the South, wives retaliating against their husbands for the debaucheries, the outright sins made against them by their cheating husbands. Those rapscallions! Her premeditated attack is performed in cold calculating silence in the darkness of the night, without remorse. The scorned woman knows just what to do, patiently waiting until the right time to carry out her venomous attack. She carefully chooses a dull knife from the kitchen or a heavy duty pair of rusty scissors and then sneaks through the house toward her sleeping husband in the dead stillness of a dark night. She performs her self-appointed duty comparable to a trained assassin with cunning determination and self-control. Her plan is thought out in a series of steps because to her there is no going back, there is no forgiving. What she is about to do must be completed all the way to the end. She knows the pain she is about to cause, she knows the screams will be loud and that the current calm of the night will be broken by the furry and savagery of her act. For her a jealous victim, this is all part of the plan; it is about teaching her husband he was wrong to hurt her by breaching the mutual trust of their vows. She is no longer the loving wife, her tears have long ago dried up – for now her will is strong; her senses are mired in a cold calculated revenge. Brandishing her cutting tool she stealthily enters the bedroom where she and her husband have slept since the first day of their marriage. For a moment she reflects on happier times but brushes away those distracting irrelevant thoughts for now she is careful not to wake her sleeping husband whilst approaching his side of the bed. In flash of trepidation she slowly begins to lift the sheet away that is covering her snoozing husband’s body. His snoring diverts her momentarily from her arduous stealth thinking he may have awakened; but no – he’s sleeping deeply, unsuspecting of her presence and completely vulnerable to attack. The sounds of the family ducks and fowl can be heard stirring about on occasion outside the bedroom window. She waits patiently staring above him – feeling a sense of empowerment holding the sharp blade in her right hand freeing up her left. She gathers her nerve for the last time and quickly pulls down her husband’s undergarment exposing his adulterous penis in the cascading moonlight. In gladiator like fashion filled with purposeful vengeance she swiftly strikes her unsuspecting husband’s penis with punishment, cutting it off quickly. He screams in agonizing pain and is in sudden shock not knowing what just happened. Her job is not yet completed her heart not yet filled with the sweet feeling of revenge; she must not allow him to recover his precious member of his manhood. He is screaming, begging her to give it back, to call a doctor but she ignores his pleas for help and must perform the last part of her plan. This moment she has thought about for days, she knew this would be the hardest part of her vengeance but she prepared mentally knowing that to hesitate now would be to fail. The only way to the end is through the ducks. They must be fed his cherished penis at all costs. Through the screams of agony and horrid shock on her husband’s face – through the pleading and begging she coldly throws her ex-lover’s penis out to a covey of hungry ducks. They gobble it up quickly erasing any chance for recovery, eradicating any hope for him to regain his manhood. That will teach him! She feels vindicated but slightly ashamed. Vengeance is not so sweet as she thought. The police and prison are just around the corner. Bangkokbanks January, 2012 Posted in It could happen to you, Thai Culture | Tagged Bobbit, duck, haunt, penis, real stories, scary, south thailand, truth | Leave a reply