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Perchance to Dream: Shakespeare Bedtime Stories By Betsy Ferrer Prologue: Chorus: All the world's a stage, And all the men and women merely players: They have their exits and their entrances; And one man in his time plays many parts, His acts being seven ages. At first the infant, Mewling and puking in the nurse's arms. And then the whining school-boy, with his satchel And shining morning face, creeping like snail Unwillingly to school. And then the lover, Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad Made to his mistress' eyebrow. Then a soldier, Full of strange oaths and bearded like the pard, Jealous in honour, sudden and quick in quarrel, Seeking the bubble reputation Even in the cannon's mouth. And then the justice, In fair round belly with good capon lined, With eyes severe and beard of formal cut, Full of wise saws and modern instances; And so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts Into the lean and slipper'd pantaloon, With spectacles on nose and pouch on side, His youthful hose, well saved, a world too wide For his shrunk shank; and his big manly voice, Turning again toward childish treble, pipes And whistles in his sound. Last scene of all, That ends this strange eventful history, Is second childishness and mere oblivion, Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything. Act One Scene One: At the Hathaway’s’ house. Mr. and Mrs. Hathaway are getting ready to go out for the evening and their twins Harry and Judy are awaiting the babysitter. Harry is engrossed in a video game and Judy is reading teen magazines. The doorbell rings. Mrs. Hathaway opens the door. Mrs. Hathaway: Hello Rose. It is so nice of you to baby-sit for us tonight. Rose: It’s no problem at all. (She calls over Mrs. Hathaway’s shoulder) Hey Harry. Hey Judy. Harry and Judy: (not looking up from what they’re doing and disinterested) Hey. Mrs. Hathaway takes Rose aside. Mrs. Hathaway: I know Harry and Judy are getting a little old for a babysitter, but they are at that stage where they’re fighting all the time and I just feel better about having someone stay with them. Rose: I completely understand. Twins can be tough sometimes since they’re so close in age. Mrs. Hathaway: Since they know each other so well, they definitely know how to push each other’s buttons. We shouldn’t be out too late. Mr. Hathaway: Ann, are you ready? Hello Rose. Rose: Hello Mr. Hathaway. Mrs. Hathaway: Yes, I’m ready. Goodnight kids. Harry: Bye Judy: Yeah, bye. Mr. Hathaway: Try not to kill each other ok? Harry: Whatever. Mr. and Mrs. Hathaway leave. Rose sits down on the couch and takes out a large book and starts to read. Judy: Hey Rose, check this out. Brad Pitt and Anjelina Jolie are having a kid. Rose: Really? Harry: Who cares. They’ll just break up after the kid’s born anyway. Judy: Nice attitude. You’re just bitter ‘cause no one loves you. Harry: At least I’m not falling in and out of love all the time. Your attention span for love is shorter than mine is for those stupid magazines you read. Judy: Rose, don’t you think love at first site is possible? Rose: Sure it’s possible. Judy: See. Rose: Though it doesn’t always end well. Harry: Thank you. Judy: Hey! I thought you were on my side! Rose: It isn’t really a matter of sides. Love is a complicated thing. The course of true love never did run smooth. Judy: What are you talking about? Rose: It’s a line from Shakespeare. Harry: Didn’t that guy die like 4000 years ago? Rose: More like 400. I don’t think anyone understood love and what it does to people as well. Judy: Is that what you’re reading? Rose: Yeah. Shakespeare wrote a lot about love. Lots of his characters fall in love at first sight and then things get… complicated. Sometimes it turns out ok and other times fate gets in the way and lots of people die. Harry: (Suddenly perking up) Did you say die? Judy: What do you mean? Harry: What are we talking…murder, suicide, sword fights? Rose: It would probably be easier for me to just tell you the stories and let them speak for themselves. Judy: As long as they’re about love and relationships and Harry: (interrupting her) death, destruction, mayhem… Rose: (laughing) You two actually almost perfectly represent a typical Elizabethan audience. Part of what made Shakespeare’s plays so great is he had to appeal to a wide range of people in the audience. Some like Harry were rowdy and wanted lots of violence, physical comedy, and innuendo. Others like Judy wanted love and romance. So, we get a little bit of everything. Harry: Well, let’s get on with the violence. Rose: Romeo and Juliet does begin with a fight scene. You see there are two families: the Montagues and the Capulets. They hate each other and are always disturbing the peace of Verona, Italy. We begin with a street fight between the servants of the two families… GREGORY Draw thy tool! here comes two of the house of the Montagues. SAMPSON Let us take the law of our sides; let them begin. GREGORY I will frown as I pass by, and let them take it as they list. SAMPSON Nay, as they dare. I will bite my thumb at them; which is a disgrace to them, if they bear it. Harry: This is not the kind of violence I was hoping for. What kind of a street fight starts with someone biting his thumb? Rose: Actually biting your thumb at someone in Shakespeare’s day was an obscene gesture. Harry: Cool. Enter ABRAHAM and BALTHASAR ABRAHAM Do you bite your thumb at us, sir? SAMPSON I do bite my thumb, sir. ABRAHAM Do you bite your thumb at us, sir? SAMPSON [Aside to GREGORY] Is the law of our side, if I say ay? GREGORY No. SAMPSON No, sir, I do not bite my thumb at you, sir,(pause – Abraham and Balthasar start to walk away) but I bite my thumb, sir. GREGORY Do you quarrel, sir? ABRAHAM Quarrel sir! no, sir. SAMPSON If you do, sir, I am for you: I serve as good a man as you. ABRAHAM No better. SAMPSON Well, sir. GREGORY (Aside to Sampson) Say 'better:' here comes one of my master's kinsmen. SAMPSON Yes, better, sir. ABRAHAM You lie. SAMPSON Draw, if you be men. Gregory, remember thy swashing blow. They fight Enter BENVOLIO BENVOLIO Part, fools! Put up your swords; you know not what you do. Beats down their swords Enter TYBALT TYBALT What, art thou drawn among these heartless hinds? Turn thee, Benvolio, look upon thy death. BENVOLIO I do but keep the peace: put up thy sword, Or manage it to part these men with me. TYBALT What, drawn, and talk of peace! I hate the word, As I hate hell, all Montagues, and thee: Have at thee, coward! They fight Enter, several of both houses, who join the fray; then enter Citizens, with clubs First Citizen Clubs, bills, and partisans! strike! beat them down! Down with the Capulets! down with the Montagues! Enter CAPULET in his gown, and LADY CAPULET CAPULET What noise is this? Give me my long sword, ho! LADY CAPULET A crutch, a crutch! why call you for a sword? CAPULET My sword, I say! Old Montague is come, And flourishes his blade in spite of me. Enter MONTAGUE and LADY MONTAGUE MONTAGUE Thou villain Capulet,--Hold me not, let me go. LADY MONTAGUE Thou shalt not stir a foot to seek a foe. Enter PRINCE, with Attendants PRINCE Rebellious subjects, enemies to peace, Profaners of this neighbour-stained steel,-Will they not hear? What, ho! you men, you beasts, That quench the fire of your pernicious rage With purple fountains issuing from your veins, On pain of torture, from those bloody hands Throw your mistemper'd weapons to the ground, And hear the sentence of your moved prince. Three civil brawls, bred of an airy word, By thee, old Capulet, and Montague, Have thrice disturb'd the quiet of our streets, And made Verona's ancient citizens Cast by their grave beseeming ornaments, To wield old partisans, in hands as old, Canker'd with peace, to part your canker'd hate: If ever you disturb our streets again, Your lives shall pay the forfeit of the peace. For this time, all the rest depart away: You Capulet; shall go along with me: And, Montague, come you this afternoon, To know our further pleasure in this case, To old Free-town, our common judgment-place. Once more, on pain of death, all men depart. Exeunt all Judy: What about the love? I thought Romeo and Juliet was all about love? Rose: There is much to do with love in the play but also some with hate. Romeo is constantly falling in and out of love and is quite dramatic about it. He reveals to his buddy Benvolio that he loves a woman named Rosaline who doesn’t love him back. The two happen to find out that Rosaline will be at a Capulet party that they intend to crash. Benvolio tries to convince Romeo that he will find other beautiful girls there. Romeo insists that could never be which ends up being really ironic. Judy: What’s ironic? Rose: Well, at the party he meets Juliet who really does become the love of his life. Judy: Ahh… Rose: So Romeo and his buddies plan to crash a party of their sworn enemy. Meanwhile, her mother has informed Juliet, Capulet’s daughter, that the County Paris wants to marry her. He will be in attendance and Juliet has been instructed to see if she likes him. Judy: Paris is certainly a romantic name. What’s he like? Harry: Probably a wus. Rose: He is actually quite a catch. He’s handsome, wealthy, powerful, but in the end…no match for Romeo in Juliet’s eyes.