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CONSERVATIVE CHRISTIAN PRE-MARITAL AND MARITAL VALUES By Christopher Ryan Dooley A SENIOR THESIS In GENERAL STUDIES Submitted to the General Studies Council In the College of Arts and Sciences At Texas Tech University in Partial fulfillment of The Requirements for The Degree of BACHELOR OF GENERAL STUDIES Approved DR. P~ JOHNSON Department of Sociology, Anthropology, and Social Work Co-Chairperson of Thesis Committee MS . LAURA ' BR':(P Department of Family Studies Co-Chairperson of Thesis Committee Accepted DR. MICHAEL SCHOENECKE Director of General Studies December 1999 '^ _J \G{(\^ ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS I would like to thank Dr. Paul Johnson and Ms. Laura jyO jLr\ Bryan for their help in this thesis project. Thank you for helping balance my opinions with academic research. Thank you for giving your time to make my thesis project successful as my Thesis Committee members. I would also like to thank Ms. Linda Gregston, the General Studies advisor, for helping me figure out a plan for graduation. I also want to thank Dr. Dale Davis, former Director of General Studies, and Dr. Michael Schoenecke, the current Director of General Studies, for answering all my questions about the thesis. I also owe a special thank you to Keeley Rabuck for her countless hours of support. I could not have been successful without everyone who has helped me. 11 TABLE OF CONTENTS ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS 11 CHAPTER INTRODUCTION II. TRADITIONAL CONSERVATIVE CHRISTIAN PRE-MARITAL SEXUAL VIRTUES 3 Risks of Pre-Marital Sexual Activity 4 Sexually Transmitted Disease 5 Emotional Effects 6 Scriptural Interpretations 7 III. TRADITIONAL CONSERVATIVE CHRISTIAN VIRTUES AND GENDER ROLES 10 Four Marks of Real Love 11 The Couple's Needs 12 Conservative Christian Gender Roles 13 IV. A SEXUAL REVOLUTION IN SECULAR SOCIETY 16 The Sexual Revolution 16 Sex in the Media 17 Sexual Promiscuity 20 111 V. RELIGIOUS EDUCATION STRATEGIES REGARDING SEXUAL VALUES AND MARITAL VALUES 22 True Love Waits 22 Aim For Success 25 Christian Sex Education in the Church 26 The Responsible Sexuality Program 28 Marital Values 29 Preparations for Marriage 30 VI. CONCLUSION 32 SELECTED BIBLIOGRAPHY IV 34 CHAPTER I INTRODUCTION Over the last fifty years the United States of America has been overwhelmed with drastic changes. Some of these changes have benefitted the people, and some of these changes have destroyed lives. Sexual activity between unwed teens, as well as unwed adults, has risen at an alarming rate. We live in a country where 6.9 percent of men and 21 percent of women refrain from intercourse before their honeymoon (Mackler, 1999). As people begin to have sex before marriage there is an increase in the risk of sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancies. Conservative Christians believe the Bible to be the word of God. They believe the scripture is clear on the subject of bringing together men and women. Genesis 2:18 says, "And the Lord God said. It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make a helpmate for him." Conservative Christians hold that God did not intend for men and women to be alone. God shows us that for man there is no substitute, there is no better companionship than that of his wife. As far as the Bible talking about sex, it is mentioned numerous times. Genesis 2:24 also states: "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife; and they shall become one flesh." Conservative Christians interpret these verses to mean that God intended for human beings to become one in the act of sexual intercourse (Wheat, 1977). Sexual intercourse does have its place in our lives, but according to God's plan it should take place in the bond of marriage. Matthew 5:27-28 states, "You have heard that it was said. Do not commit adultery. But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart." So, not only is having sex outside of marriage wrong; lusting after someone is just as wrong. These pieces of scripture, taken from the New International Version of the Bible, and the previous statements can set a building block for this question. As youth enter the 21^^ century, what sort of religious education will prepare them to preserve the traditional values of conservative Christianity in terms of pre-marital sexual virtues and post marital gender roles? How can learning these values prepare them to face the complexities of life in a secular society in the wake of what is generally conceived to be an increase in sexual promiscuity in the 1960s and continuing until today? CHAPTER II TRADITIONAL CONSERVATIVE CHRISTIAN PRE-MARITAL SEXUAL VALUES Pre-marital sexual values begin soaking into our brains when we are just small children. Growing up in a church, one can learn the essentials of what it means to be a Christian. From a Christian perspective the first thing that must be considered when discussing pre-marital sexual values is whether or not the person in which the values are being instilled is a Christian. For Christians sexual promiscuity is simply a symptom of a much larger problem. The problem is sin. These are the views of the conservative Christian community such as the Southern Baptists and Bible church members. Not everyone holds to these ideas that are a part of these congregations. It would be unwise to think that only non-Christians would have problems holding to the biblical teachings of abstinence. In this short story from Christianity Today, a Christian teenager struggles to maintain his virginity. According to Thomas (1999): The call came at 11:30 P.M. on a Saturday night. "Miss Cathi," the teenage boy said, "I called you because I really need help. I really want to have sex, but I know I shouldn't." Cathi Woods recognized his voice and knew the boy was calling from a "good Christian home." He had just returned from a date with his girlfriend and was terrified that their passion was getting out of hand. "Both of us are Christians," the boy explained, "but we went too far. We didn't sleep together, but I'm worried about the next time. You're the only person I can talk to." (p. 40.) This young Christian man had a hard time holding back. No matter whether or not someone claims to be a Christian, sex outside of marriage is a temptation that can grow out of control. In order to combat this problem we must take a look at the standards set for conservative Christian premarital values. Risks of Pre- Marital Sexual Activity The Bible teaches that pre-marital sex is sinful and leads not only to disease or unwanted pregnancy, but also emotional trauma (Abstinence, 1996). Just as the article states, sex before marriage goes much deeper than hurting one's body. Exodus 20:14 states, "Do not commit adultery." Disobedience of biblical teachings can create internal feelings and emotions that may be psychologically harmful. Guilt, which originates from disobedience, may negatively effect emotions. Sex can have a life-long negative effect when it strays from God's plan. Research done by Elizabeth Thomson and Ugo Colella found that couples who had 4 cohabited prior to marriage reported greater marital conflict and poorer communication than those who had not cohabited before marriage (Colella and Thomson, 1992). Sexually Transmitted Disease The ideas of conservative Christians to preach strict sexual virtues are intended to protect people from harmful effects as well as keep their lives pure in God's eyes. One of the most obvious risks facing youth today is the rapid increase of sexually transmitted diseases. In 1996 the Center for Disease Control reported 325,900 new cases of gonorrhea in the United States. The Human Papilloma Virus has been estimated to have been spread to at least 5.5 million new people in 1998 (Kaiser Family Foundation, 1999). The most dangerous and largest killer of the sexually transmitted diseases is HIV (Human Immunodeficiency Virus). becomes known as AIDS. As this virus distorts itself it According to the Kaiser Family Foundation, since 1989, the greatest proportionate increase of reported AIDS cases has been among heterosexuals, and this trend is expected to continue (1999). Three quarters of the AIDS infections were sexually transmitted. These figures represent the United States, but throughout the world there are an estimated 5.8 million new HIV cases annually, and over 30 million persons currently live with HIV (Kaiser Family Foundation, 1999). significant problem in society. STD's are a Harmful diseases could be drastically diminished if sexual relations did not take place before marriage. It seems only logical that these numbers would decrease if sexual intercourse were limited to the context of marriage. This would be in accordance with conservative Christian teachings based on the Bible. These are merely physical effects that take place and are harmful when sex takes place outside of marriage. Emotional Effects Emotional effects are more difficult to measure, but divorce, dissatisfaction with marriage, and a teenager's heartache can be looked at when speaking of harmful effects of pre-marital sexual relations. David Whitman studied the effects of cohabitation on young couples. He found that virgin brides are less likely to divorce than women who lost their virginity prior to marriage (Whitman, 1997) . The women who were virgins felt a higher level of commitment to their marriage partners. Teenage heartache can most certainly come in the form of pregnancy. The creation of a child is a beautiful symbol of love, but when a teenage girl gets pregnant and is not married the burden of motherhood often overwhelms the joy of birth. Emotional needs are difficult to measure and statistical information measuring broken hearts cannot be found, but there are internal problems that can weigh on the heart of teenagers participating in sexual practices. Scriptural Interpretations The Christian stance on sexual purity is one that is backed up by biblical teachings and what Christians believe God lays out for believers in scripture. Many conservative Christians believe God wants to preserve sexual activity until He gives it to them in the bonds of marriage. Genesis 2:24 states, "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh." According to Ellison and Goodson, many conservative Christians believe the verse says that sexual intercourse is intended to form a spiritual and physical union between husband and wife (Ellison and Goodson, 1997). Psalm 84:11 says, "For the Lord God is a sun and shield: the Lord will give grace and glory; no good thing will he withhold from them that walk uprightly. " I Corinthians 6:18 reads, "Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body." The desire of God is for us to honor Him and, in turn, we will be honoring our bodies as. Conservative Christians believe God knows that sexual sin can bring serious consequences to the individual and that immorality cannot satisfy out needs, but can only deepen them. We can look at the story of Adam and Eve in the Old Testament and realize that impurity can bring forth guilt and low self-esteem because of the guilt. Guilt sometimes does not surface until years down the road, and it can inhibit sexual happiness in marriage. A study done on a sample of 1,587 high school students showed that intercourse is negatively related with religiosity (Werner-Wilson, 1998). Those students who were sexually active had negative feelings about religion. The study also showed that self esteem and sexual behavior are negatively related for those who believe sex outside of marriage is wrong (Werner-Wilson, 1998). Remaining sexually pure follows what most conservative Christians believe to be the biblical standard. Throughout this chapter, conservative Christian thoughts regarding sexuality have been expressed and discussed in terms of what conservative Christians desire for teenagers. These values could be listed as "do's" and "don'ts," and these values could be seen as adults trying to steal the fun away from teenagers, but the justification of the values is for God's plan to be followed according to conservative Christian teachings. Conservative Christians believe their view results in less grief and more marital happiness. Pre-marital sexual virtues of conservative Christians can be summed up neatly by saying the virtues entail maintaining sexual purity outside the bonds of marriage. CHAPTER III TRADITIONAL CONSERVATIVE CHRISTIAN MARITAL VIRTUES AND GENDER ROLES In the United States, fifty percent of all Generation X children come from divorced homes (Leo, 1999). As the divorce rate grows many questions need to be asked. What are the key ingredients that allow marriages to last? do married couples work through difficult times? How How do individuals know if they have married the right person? What are the husband's and wife's roles in marriage? These questions can be answered, and throughout this next chapter hopefully the answers will become clear. In a random sample of 17 9 married couples in the United States it was found that church attendance, duration of marriage, and satisfaction of family life are major predicators of structural commitment (Goltz & Larson, 1989). The study showed that religious experience and rituals, such as going to church, have a strong correlation with marital satisfaction. The reason for this is because those who are more active in their religious life and church are more likely to try to make the marriage work because of the encouragement of the religious community 10 (Goltz & Larson, 1989). Leading a life filled with religion can help to maintain marital satisfaction. Four Marks of Real Love Many Christians believe that love can only reach its fullest potential in the confines of marriage. True commitment to one's mate can open up one's life and does not restrict it. According to Dr. John Trent, a marriage and family therapist, real love consists of attraction, integrity, security, and a spiritual foundation (Trent, 1999). The first sign of interest in someone is physical attraction. The physical desire is great in humans. Integrity, defined as uprightness of character and honesty, can help to form a relationship between two people as they continue to get to know one another. Song of Solomon 1: 3 says, " Your name is like perfume poured out. No wonder the maidens love you!" According to this what attracts the women to her husband is his good name. The feeling of security in a marriage is another important component. It is important to feel a sense of value in the marriage relatonship. Finally a spiritual foundation, sharing the same beliefs, provides a couple with a start on building a marriage together (Trent, 1999) . These four marks of real 11 love can help couples to have a loving and lasting marriage. The Couple's Needs Some of the most important factors to take a look at in a marriage are the needs of the two individuals in the marriage. Every marriage has the potential to have some bumps along the road, but if husbands and wives could better understand each other' s needs the marriage might be a little less conflicted. Willard Harley, Jr. a Christian family counselor, has met with hundreds of couples over his career and discovered with consistency two sets of five categories for both the husband's needs and the wife's needs. The man's five most basic needs in marriage are sexual fulfillment, recreational companionship, an attractive spouse, domestic support, and admiration. The woman's five most basic needs in marriage are affection, conversation, honesty and openness, financial support, and family commitment (Harley, 1986). The specific nature of these needs will vary for different couples. It is no wonder men and women have trouble adjusting in a marriage. If any of these needs are not being met the marriage is vulnerable to problems. 12 All of this being said, it is important for the spouses to understand one another's needs. As they begin to understand these needs they are able to learn how they coalesce as a couple. Couples begin to figure out the roles that they will play in their marriage. Conservative Christian Gender Roles In every marriage husbands and wives have different roles that they play in order for the marriage to be successful. In the conservative Christian marriage, many couples desire for the husband to be the leader of the family. This can be a delicate topic because of the subject of the wives taking a submissive role in the marriage. It is not that the male wants to be domineering; in this case he is just trying to follow what he believes to be biblically correct. Ephesians 5: 22-23 states, "Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the Church, his body, of which he is the savior." The Apostle Paul, author of the book of Ephesians, was writing this for readers to better understand God's eternal purpose and grace. God's orders do not stop there. 13 Ephesians 5: 25 goes on to say, "Husbands love your wives just as Christ loved the Church and gave himself up for her." In the book of I Peter chapter 3 verse 7 it says, "Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers." When Peter calls women the weaker partners he is probably making references to physical limitations. A man who honors his wife as the weaker sex will strive to protect her from physical danger or harm. The Bible not only speaks of the husband's role in a marriage, but also of the wife's roles. In Rocking the Roles, by Robert Lewis and William Hendricks, the best summary of the wife's role can be found in scripture- The Apostle Paul's words in this letter to the young pastor named Titus must be looked at in Titus 2:3-5 to see a picture of the wife's role. "Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self- controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of 14 God." Lewis and Hendricks do not believe Titus's guidelines should fit with the Word of God (Hendricks & Lewis, 1991). The roles wives play are just as important as the roles the husbands are playing. like pieces of a puzzle. They fit together If couples remember the roles set forth in scripture, Hendricks and Lewis believe marriage can be a great success (Hendricks & Lewis, 1991). 15 CHAPTER IV A SEXUAL REVOLUTION IN SECULAR SOCIETY Society is continually becoming infiltrated with sexuality outside of marriage. The number of sexually active teenagers has continued to rise throughout the years. What is the American media saying about sex? What is society saying about pre-marital sex and how are young people today dealing with what society says is acceptable? During the 1960s a sexual revolution spread across the United States preaching free love with little consequence (Galium, 1996). Now, those who live in the present are adhering to some of these revolution principles, but they are discovering that there are negative consequences. The Sexual Revolution Starting in the 1920s the number of women engaging in pre-marital sex jumped to about 50 percent in the later 1920s. After the World War II, values began to change and consumer goods became a focal point. By the 1960s businesses began to cater to non-marital sex, bringing to life the "singles bar" (Stossel, 1997). 16 In the 1950s, less than 25 percent of Americans felt sex before marriage was acceptable. By 1970, this number had grown to 75 percent. Stossel describes a study done by Adweek magazine noted that single people as a percentage of the total American adult population rose from 28 percent in 1970 to 41 percent (Stossel, 1997), The sexual revolution was in full effect because of the increased number of singles not remaining abstinent. The introduction of the "Pill" catalyzed the sexual revolution while the AIDS virus made a strong effort in putting an end to the revolution. Conservative Protestants believe the availability of birth control has made sexual intercourse more casual and non-marital sexual encounters more feasible (Ellison and Goodson, 1997). happened to the sexual revolution? What Sex in America has slowed down considerably since the height of the revolution, but many teenagers today are still believe that promiscuity is okay. Taking a look at American culture can tell a story of compromising morals and a relaxed attitude toward sex. Sex in the Media In 1975, television networks agreed to set aside the first hour of prime time television, seven P.M. to eight 17 P.M. central, as family hour. This lasted for only one year because it was then challenged by the Writers Guild of America and other groups on First Amendment and anti-trust grounds (Johnson, 1996) . More recently, during a fourweek period a survey was completed by USA Today on sexual content during family hour programming during the weeks of September 21, 1995 through October 19, 1995. They focused on the broadcast networks ABC, CBS, Fox, NBC, UPN and WB. During this one-month period, forty instances of premarital sex were found. sex eight to one. These cases outnumbered marital "Friends," a popular television show, portrayed pre-marital sex in every episode during the month it was surveyed. On September 26, 1995 on a Fox television movie called "Weird World" a woman seduced a co-worker because she heard he was good in bed (Johnson, 1996). This survey shows that teenagers who watch television are likely to observe the casual attitude of Hollywood towards sexual intimacy. There are other instances besides the previously mentioned survey where sexuality is being flaunted on television. A University of California Los Angeles study finds that three out of ten prime-time shows aimed at children now include sex talk (Zinsmeister, 1999) . 18 "University of North Carolina professor, Jane Brown, who has studied this subject in depth, concludes that TV is so filled with sex it's hard for any kid, even a critic, to resist. I think of the media as our true sex educators" (Zinsmeister, 1999). A Los Angeles Times poll noted that seven out of ten people say television encourages sexual immorality. Taking a look at the studies reveal that media seems to be saying that sex outside of marriage is acceptable behavior. The question that needs to be answered is whether or not teenagers can decipher between fantasy and reality? Research on this topic is conflicting. A study was done using a sample of 1,043 high school students. The greatest majority of the students believed television to be their greatest pressure to become sexually active (Long, Rothfuss, & Strause, 1995). Another survey given to 214 adolescents by the same researchers wanted to see the effects of watching sexually suggestive music videos. Students who watched MTV, Music Television, were no more likely to be sexually permissive than those who did not watch (Long, Rothfuss, & Strause, 1995). Rivadeneyra and Ward also studied the contributions of television to adolescent's sexual attitudes and expectations. 19 They surveyed 157 college freshmen. The students watched 25 hours of prime time television in a single month and then answered questions regarding their sexual attitudes. The research showed that the females in the study related television with their sexual attitudes more than the males. Men were less likely to use television to learn about interpersonal relationships than females (Rivadeneyra and Ward, 1997). The conclusions are unclear whether or not watching television shows with sexual content can lead to sexual permissiveness. The results vary with different studies as well as with different variables. Sexual Promiscuity The Standard College Dictionary defines promiscuity as, "Indiscriminate, especially in sexual relations." In 1984, Ronald Reagan worried publicly that Americans were having too much pre-marital sex. He said, "Promiscuity has become acceptable, even stylish" (Stossel, 1997). The word promiscuity has been replaced with "sexually active" in society today. Scott Stossel says, "Reagan's comments represent a typical version of the traditional conservative's interpretation of the sexual revolution" (Stossel, 1997). Many liberals would say that the sexual 20 revolution brought about changes for the better, such as broader rights for homosexuals and a wider use of contraceptives. On the other hand, conservatives insist that the sexual revolution undermined traditional social and religious bonds and that the loosening of morals caused the attack of sexually transmitted disease. People began to feel free to express their sexuality in society. Not everyone displayed a reckless attitude toward sex, but as time has elapsed there has definitely been a more casual attitude toward sex. In a study done by Paul Haerich, 204 college students were surveyed (79 male, 125 female). The subjects were considered to be either intrinsic or extrinsic according to Allport's Religious Orientation Scale (Haerich, 1992). The extrinsic subjects were found more likely to be non-virgins before they get married. The intrinsic subjects' high level of church attendance was related to decreased sexual promiscuity among them. The results showed that extrinsic individuals were more sexually promiscuous because they focused on his or her own comfort and security rather than let religion play a factor (Haerich, 1992). 21 CHAPTER V RELIGIOUS EDUCATION STRATEGIES REGARDING SEXUAL VALUES AND MARITAL VALUES There are certain times in a person's life that can have an everlasting impact on the way they live their lives. The teenage years of a person's life can be a time of tremendous growth physically, spiritually, and emotionally. This time in life can be used to teach, inculcate, and reinforce strategies regarding their sexual values. Youth can learn about sexual values from society, but these values may leave them feeling empty. Children can be taught at a young age to follow the Bible's guidelines for sex which may help them fight the desires they have and protect them from a society that tells them to do what feels good. There are several programs available for young children today that can help to counter the values that are evident in society. True Love Waits True Love Waits is a campaign to promote biblical sexuality and pre-marital abstinence for teens. 22 The True Love Waits program was launched at the Youth Ministry National Conference on April 21, 1993 (Lifeway Christian Resources, 1999). The program has since been adopted by Roman Catholics in the United States, the Wesleyan Church, Assemblies of God, the Pentecostal Church of God, and Youth for Christ (Lifeway Christian Resources, 1999). True Love Waits lists its purpose as an international campaign designed to challenge students to remain sexually abstinent until marriage. It then breaks the campaign down into four parts: Guide students to make a commitment to sexual abstinence until marriage. Second, allow students who have made a commitment to abstinence a chance to reaffirm that promise and challenge others to do so. Third, guide parents of students to make or reaffirm a commitment to biblical standards of sexual behavior and model a life committed to sexual purity. Finally, give adults a tangible way to affirm and encourage students making a commitment to sexual abstinence until marriage.(LifeWay Christian Resources, 1999, p. 1) Students are taught basic principles of sex and how God intends sex to be used in the context of marriage. True Love Waits teaches what many conservative Christians believe to be an important lesson for youth. The theme for the program carries an important meaning: True Love for God. Obeying God's commandments is a pure way to show your love for him. True love for yourself. Your concern for yourself can allow you to choose to avoid that which leads to guilt, broken 23 relationships, disease, and even death. True love for your family. Honoring and obeying your parents and siblings is a natural result of honoring God in life. True love for friends. Sex before marriage always hurts people. You can choose not to hurt others through sexual misbehavior. True love for your future mate and future children. You can begin now loving the mate and children that God will give you. (LifeWay Christian Resources, 1999, p. 1) These principles are taught over a period of time, usually by youth ministers at a church or by adult Sunday school teachers. After children have had an opportunity to hear the message presented by the campaign, they have an opportunity to sign a pledge card. program really leads to. This is what the entire Youth pledge, "Believing that true love waits, I make a commitment to God, myself, my family, my future mate, and my future children to be sexually abstinent from this day until the day I enter a biblical marriage relationship" (LifeWay Christian Resources, 1999, p. 1). The key to the program is to honor the pledge. Hundreds of thousands of young teenagers have signed a pledge card to remain abstinent until marriage. On July 29, 1994, 500,000 signed cards were put on display at the Capitol Mall in Washington D.C. This gesture shows that young people across the country are making commitments to follow the plan that conservative Christians believe to be biblically correct (Thomas, 1999). 24 Aim For Success Aim for Success is a relatively new concept being taught in many Christian Schools across the country. Scofield Memorial Church in Dallas, Texas, uses this curriculum in its Christian school. They use the materials designed by Marilyn Morris in her book entitled Choices That Lead To Life Long Success. The book makes sure that children know the true facts about sex, sexually transmitted diseases, pregnancy, and emotional pain caused by pre-marital sex. It also helps to equip children with the self-esteem, self-discipline, self-control, and knowledge to make good choices in all areas of their lives. Morris does not believe a child can be told to just "not do it." It is up to those who teach the programs to provide truth about possible consequences of their actions (Aim for Success, 1999). The book and presentations that are given at schools have earned great reviews from those who have participated. Paul A. Warren, a pediatrician and author, said, "This book is truly a book about choices that lead to lifelong success" (Aim for Success, 1999) . Ninety-five percent of those who attended the presentation rated it excellent or good. Eighty-nine percent indicated that the presentation 25 gave them something new to ponder. These numbers come from anonymous surveys taken from the students at the end of each presentation (Aim for Success, 1999). This program has helped teenagers to remain sexually pure and continue to fight the growing popularity of teenage sexual activity. Christian Sex Education in the Church Children are learning about sex from television, movies, magazines, and even their friends. Sex education programs need to be implemented in order for young people to get correct information about sex. The most critical component of a Christian sex education program is leadership. Those who lead programs need to understand that sex deals with much more than just anatomy. Emotional factors need to be taken into account and leaders of the programs must be sensitive, understanding, and competent if they are going to make students feel comfortable (Brown, 1968). It is important not to set aside sex education as a major emphasis. Sex education needs to be set in a context of a regular youth fellowship program at the church where sex is a Christian concern and fits into an ongoing education program for youth. 26 Brown believes one of the best ways to teach Christian sex education is through question and answer sessions. In these sessions the leader collects anonymous questions from all in the program. The leader then answers the questions in front of the entire group continuing to be sensitive and assuming that every student was curious about every question. The program needs to fit a few basic needs. First, it should help students to understand human sexuality in light of the Bible's message and to assist students in corresponding and dealing with their own sexuality. Second, the program needs to help students understand the processes of reproduction and to see that this is appropriate for adults in the context of marriage. Finally, the program should help students express and deal with additional concerns about sex, which they are able to bring up in the program (Brown, 1968). Christian sex education programs can help to teach youth how God intended sex to be a beautiful and wonderful experience. Teaching youth about sex can be a beneficial way to help to ensure that one aspect of their life will remain healthy. Teaching the before-mentioned programs can be done in a Christian school and can even be done in a church setting. One way or another young people need to hear 27 about Christian pre-marital sexual values. It can be a corner stone in prevention of any regret later on down the road when they meet their future mate. Whether in school or at church, teenagers can benefit from learning what many conservative Christians believe to be the correct way to tell them about sex. The Responsible Sexuality Program In 1991 two medical students at the University of Western Ontario started the Responsible Sexuality Program. After a few years of revisions, the program was implemented into the Canadian school system. The program contained an emphasis on self-confidence, date rape, and breaking down sex role stereotypes (Griffiths and Kassirer, 1997), The program is short, consisting of three one-hour sessions and is incorporated into the health component of the physical education curriculum. Medical students educated as peer facilitators work with small groups of between five and eight ninth graders. The sessions use student discussions, scripted role-plays, and anonymous question and answer sessions concentrating on abstinence and sex stereotypes. The program also teaches safe sex methods (Griffiths and Kassirer, 1997). This brief educational intervention 28 showed positive results. Females were the most effected by the program and showed changes in knowledge, behavioral intent, and attitude toward sex. The number of students involved in sexual activity after the program dropped from around twenty students to twelve students (Griffiths and Kassirer, 1997). This is simply a pilot program, but results show that it can be effective and that there are reasons to further investigate the programs use in public schools. Marital Values Getting married is a natural part of life whether it takes place at a relatively young age or at a later time in life. As people continue to get married year after year people are also getting divorced year after year. In the United States an average of one out of every two marriages fails. One possible reason is the lack of knowledge about marriage. People are not sure what they should expect when they get back from their honeymoons. unique and interesting potential. "Marriage contains Marriage is the only game in town where both players can either win or lose" (Roberts and Wright, 1978 p. 4). 29 Dr. David and Teresa Ferguson feel that there are four ingredients that can lead to marital closeness. is affectionate caring. The first It consists of giving one's partner undivided attention when they are speaking and giving priority to affectionate time with one another. Second, vulnerable communication leads to marital closeness. Sharing hopes and feelings is a sign of trust in the relationship. Then, joint accomplishment can say that there is an overwhelming need for each other. Doing household projects together and setting family goals together can bring forth closeness. Finally, mutual giving to one another can let partners know that they are loved. Surprising one another with a special gift or doing anything unexpected can show that focus has been put on them (Ferguson, 1997). Preparation for marriage can be a very beneficial tool leading to a successful marriage and practicing closeness in a marriage can help with intimacy. Preparation for Marriage One of the most common ways to prepare a couple to be married is through pre-marital counseling. This is often done by the minister who will be presiding at the wedding. The Christian marriage is not a basic binding legal and 30 social contract. Christians need to understand that marriage is a covenant made under God. Such a pledge endures, not because of force or law, but because an unconditional covenant has been made (Roberts and Wright, 1978). Counseling before a marriage can help couples to understand that marriage is a covenant that needs not to be broken. Dr. Larry Crabb writes in his book The Marriage Builder that the goal of marriage is Spirit Oneness, Soul Oneness, and Body Oneness (Crabb, 1982). The deepest needs of security and significance, in which many are looking for in a marriage cannot be satisfied by a marriage partner. We need to turn to God first to satisfy our needs (Crabbs, 1982). Dr. Crabb also identifies three building blocks essential to a Christian marriage, the grace of God, true marriage commitment, and acceptance of one's mate. God's grace is a defining factor in Christianity and this grace can allow two people to find comfort in their marriage. Spending time and energy in preparing for responsible sexuality in marriage can provide for a greater chance of marital happiness than the patterns of pre-marital sexual promiscuity. 31 CHAPTER VI CONCLUSION Because the United States of America continues to be challenged with problems of sexually transmitted disease, a growing rate of unsuccessful marriages, and sexual promiscuity among teenagers, people need to remember that there are answers. Conservative Christians believe that God has set forth a perfect plan in the Bible that can guide society in a harmless and positive direction. In contrast to conservative Christian teachings, society is filled with images of sexual material, whether magazines or television. Conclusions are not clear whether or not images of sexual activity on television leave a lasting impression on young teenagers' minds. Paul Haerich's study shows that there is a inverse correlation between religiosity and sexual promiscuity. Religious sex education programs can help to prevent teenagers from making mistakes and provide teenagers with an opportunity to hear about sex from a Biblical standpoint. Programs such as True Love Waits and Aim For Success provide information and an opportunity for adolescents to make a commitment regarding their sexual activities. 32 As these teenagers mature they may enter into the bonds of marriage. Learning the four marks of real love and learning what is best for their mates can help to make a successful marriage. Most of the conservative Christian community believes that living life according to the principles of the Bible and learning the sexual practices conservative Christians believe to be correct can help youth to be prepared to face the growing challenges of a sexually permissive society. The training programs described to combat sexual promiscuity and teach teenagers about human sexuality need to be further investigated. More research needs to be done to show the long-term impact of each of the various training programs. 33 SELECTED BIBLIOGRAPHY Aim for Success (1999). Available: Making a Difference [On-line] httD://www.aim-for-success.orQ/results.html. Brown, T.E.(1968). A guide for Christian sex education of youth. New York, NY: Association Press. Galium, M.(1996). Our boomers turning 50 happiness index. New Choices,36, 24-27. Cox News Service (1996). 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