Download Acquaintance Rape handout

presents
©
an interactive play about acquaintance rape
performed by professional actors
Characters
Calvin
Jessica
Maggie
Will
Written by August Schulenburg
Copyright © 1999-2014, EQUALOGY, Inc.
“One Night” is the property of EQUALOGY, inc.
All rights reserved. No part of this play or
accompanying handouts may be photographed,
recorded, reproduced, adapted, performed or
shared without the written permission of
EQUALOGY, inc.
Definitions and Facts
Rape is forced sexual intercourse.
If one person does not want to have sex, and
another person makes them, that is rape.
Acquaintance rape is when the victim knows
her/his attacker.
When the attacker, isn’t known it is stranger rape.
Rape is a crime—a first degree felony in
most states.
Some states have a "No Means No" law,
which holds that if the victim says "no", but
does not physically resist, it is still rape.
Rape & Gender—Rape is most often
perpetrated by men against women. (So this
program refers to rapists as “he,” victims as “she.”)
BUT…
Same Sex Rape is a serious problem in both
sexes.
Men and boys are raped, with equally devastating
effects.
Acquaintance Rape
In acquaintance rape, the trust of a relationship is
used to maneuver someone into a powerless,
defenseless position.
The victim’s guard is down. She may feel safe being
alone with this person, and may not recognize she’s
vulnerable until it is too late.
Ask yourself these questions:
Will I take ‘no’ for an answer?
Do I think that women who say ‘no’ really mean
‘yes’?
Do I feel I have a right to have sex with a woman,
regardless of what she says or feels?
Do I know the difference between rape and sex?
Do I know that rape is a crime?
Date Rape Drugs
Date rape drugs are used to lower someone’s
defenses so that she can be raped. They’re often
slipped into a drink when she is not looking.
Most of these drugs affect the central nervous
system. They can cause any of the following,
depending on the specific drug:

drowsiness

loss of motor control

memory loss or blackouts

lowered inhibitions

and/or confusion.
The victim may wake up the next day feeling hung
over, and having no recollection of a period of 8 or so
hours.
Or, she may remain fully lucid, but unable to move,
during the course of the rape.
Date rape drugs take effect very quickly, 15-30
minutes from ingestion. When mixed with alcohol,
they’re even more powerful, and can be lethal.
THESE DRUGS ARE VERY DANGEROUS!
Ways to Keep Safe
from date rape drugs
1. Never accept an opened drink, except from a
bartender or waiter/waitress. Watch how they
handle your drink.
2. Try to drink bottled or canned drinks; insist that
you open them yourself.
3. Don’t leave a drink unattended. If you have to
leave it, don't continue to drink it.
4. Don't ask someone to watch your drink--they
may be distracted or may not be as trustworthy as
you think.
5. Be careful of whom you drink with--be
cautious around someone you don't know well.
6. Avoid punch--you don't know what's in it.
7. Beware of drinks that taste or look strange
(salty flavor, unusually frothy or cloudy, has
residue). Watch out for margaritas--they hide the
salty undertaste of GHB.
8. Make sure you go out with a friend, so you can
help each other if one of your drinks is spiked.
continued...
Ways to Keep Safe - 2
9. Be alert to the behavior of friends. If someone
appears to be more drunk than they should be,
given the amount of alcohol consumed, be
concerned.
If you suspect someone has consumed a date
rape drug...take her/him to the hospital emergency
room, or call 911 for an ambulance.
Keep a sample of the alcohol. They can
test the person's blood and the alcohol.
Alcohol, Drugs & Rape
Some guys deliberately try to get women
drunk, in order to rape them. This
happens in same-sex situations, too.
If a woman is under the influence,
she may be less able to make safe judgments. If she
is severely intoxicated, she may not be fully aware of
what is going on.
Sex with anyone who is too intoxicated to make
decisions, to understand what is going on or to defend
her or himself is rape. Sex with someone who has
passed out is rape.
ALCOHOL is the #1 date rape drug.
Emotional Coercion
Emotional coercion is the use of emotional or
psychological force to pressure someone into giving
‘consent’. Besides being extremely manipulative,
coercion is unfair.
Emotional coercion is often present in relationships
where partners have unequal power.
“If you really loved me, you would do this.”
“Everyone else is doing it, so what’s your problem?”
“If you don’t do it with me, I’ll find someone who will?”
“Do you have a problem with sex?”
Ask yourself these questions:
Am I ‘guilt-tripping’ or putting down the other person?
Am I considering their feelings…
or just trying to get sex?
Am I listening…or only hearing what I want to hear?
Am I invading her/his space?
Am I trying to intimidate
(through tone of voice or by staring)?
Is she/he comfortable with me?
Does she/he feel safe?
Consent
The opposite of emotional coercion is free consent.
Free consent can only be given when both partners
have equal power.
Free consent is NOT...
giving in because of fear,
going along with something because you want to
fit in with the group,
being tricked into doing something,
agreeing in order to avoid feeling badly.
If someone cannot say ‘no’ comfortably, then saying
‘yes’ has no meaning.
If you will not accept ‘no’ for an answer, then there is
no point in asking.
Ask yourself these questions:
Is she/he freely consenting?
Am I assuming she/he consented...by drinking?...
by letting me touch her?...etc.
The Red Zone
The first semester of college is
considered the ‘red zone’ when
the highest number of rapes
occur among college-aged
population.
Rapists often target this group
because they are more naive,
more easily manipulated or
impressed by older guys and may not know much
about rape.
If you go to a party where they are offering free beer
to women, beware. It's not only illegal (if you are
underage)--it can be dangerous!
Gang Rape
Gang rape is exactly what it sounds like--a rape in
which there are several perpetrators.
Gang rape includes when someone is forced to
perform sexual acts on several others in succession
and/or in front of a group.
If you are ever some place where people are
talking about this happening in the next room,
CALL THE POLICE!
Rape Myths & Facts
Myth: Rape won't happen to me.
Fact: All women and girls are potential rape victims.
1 in 4 women will be sexually assaulted in
their lifetimes. Women between the ages of 16
and 24 are at the highest risk of being raped.
Acquaintance rape is more common than lefthandedness, heart attacks and alcoholism.
Myth: Rape is a “women’s” issue.
Fact: 1 in 10 rape victims are male. Even when not
victims, men are affected when girlfriends,
sisters, mothers and friends are raped.
Myth: Most rapists are strangers to the victim.
Fact: At least 2/3 of all rapes involve people who
are acquainted with each other. 1/4 of college
women have been victims of rape or
attempted rape--90% knew their attacker.
Statistics were derived from multiple sources, including
studies and surveys by the U.S. Dept. of Justice, Mary
Koss, Robin Warshaw and the AMA.
continued ...
Rape Myths & Facts - 2
Myth: It's worse to be raped by a stranger than by
someone you know.
Fact: Rape of any kind is extremely traumatic. If the
victim knows the attacker, it is still a crime. It
is every bit as difficult to deal with.
In fact, the situation can be even more
complicated--the victim may fear that no one
will believe her/him, may lose the ability to
trust others and may question her/his own
judgment.
Myth: Women ‘cry rape’ to retaliate against men.
Fact: Nationally, it is estimated that only 1-2% of rape
reports are false--the same rate of false
reporting as for other crimes. In reality, rape,
and specifically acquaintance rape, is one of our
nation's most under-reported crimes. It is
estimated that for every rape reported to the
police, 10-20 rapes go unreported.
Myth: When women say ‘no’ they really mean ‘yes’.
Fact: This myth allows men who rape to avoid
responsibility for their actions. If a woman
says ‘no’, then the man must respect her wishes.
‘No’ means ‘no’. Pretending that ‘no’ means
‘yes’ does not constitute consent.
Never Victim's Fault
No one provokes rape—the rapist decides to force
sex on the victim and is entirely responsible for his
behavior.
Statements like these unfairly blame the victim for
something beyond her control:
“She led him on. She flirted with him all night.”
“The way she dresses, she must have wanted it.”
“She acts out when drunk.”
“If she didn't want to have sex, she shouldn't have
gone to his room.”
“She shouldn't have kissed him. What did she
expect?”
“She knew what kind of guy he was.”
“She sleeps around.”
Women, like men, should be able to dress as they
like, go where they wish and behave as they choose.
None of these actions are consent to have sex. In
fact, no one ‘asks’ to be raped.
Rapists are not particularly looking for women who
are dressed sexily, but for those who are accessible
and vulnerable.
Rape is NEVER the victim's fault.
If You Are Raped
Get to a safe place.

Do not shower, bathe, douche or change your
clothes.
Call a rape crisis hotline. They will accompany
you to the hospital, explain your options and offer
emotional support.

Go to the hospital for a rape exam within 72
hours, if possible.
(The purpose of the rape exam is to check for and
treat any injuries, sexually transmitted diseases
and/or pregnancy, as well as to collect evidence,
should you wish to take legal action in the future.)

You may wish to give a statement to the police
and/or report it to authorities at your college.
Consider follow-up counseling.
Why Men Rape
Most rapists are average guys, with no history of
mental health problems.
Like many people, they buy into the sexist belief that
men should be macho, and they think they are
entitled to sex, regardless of the woman's wishes.
Rape is not about sexual desire. It is a crime of
violence that is expressed through sex: sex is the
method by which the rapist exerts power and control
over his victim.
Rape consists of force or threat of force.
If you are in a relationship with someone, and they
make you have sex against your will, that is not
sex—it is rape.
Violation of Trust
Rape is more than just a bad sexual experience. It is
very traumatic. The effects of acquaintance rape last
a long time.
Because she was violated
by someone she knew and
trusted, an acquaintance
rape survivor may have
difficulty trusting men, in
general.
She may no longer trust her own judgment. This
response is shared by male and same-sex victims.
After all, the rapist was able to take control of her body,
and she was unable to protect herself.
This can impact on every part of life--her relationships,
her physical health, her ability to concentrate on her
studies or work.
She may feel fear, anger or depression. It may take a
long time to heal from the emotional wounds of being
raped.
Male and same-sex victims experience the same feelings
as women raped by men; however, these are often made
worse by cultural attitudes related to masculinity and
homophobia.
Rape changes the victim’s life forever.
Rape Risk Reduction
1. Be aware:
The rapist could be someone you know.
Rape often happens in familiar surroundings.
You have a right to control your own body and
personal space.
You have the right to say ‘no’.
You may be pressured by different forms of
coercion.
2. Set limits ahead of time and discuss them
openly.
3. Trust your instincts.
If you feel uneasy or unsafe, leave!
4. Recognize controlling behavior:
Invading your space.
Expressing excessive jealousy or possessiveness.
Staring at you to intimidate.
Acting hostile when you say ‘no’.
Accusing you of being too rigid.
Speaking for you, talking over you, acting like you’re
not there.
continued...
Rape Risk Reduction - 2
( Recognize Controlling Behavior, continued)
Treating you insensitively, both verbally and nonverbally.
Adhering closely to sex-role stereotypes (traditional
roles/ expectations for each gender).
5. Think before you go out.
Be aware: alcohol/drugs can increase your risk and
lower the ability to defend yourself.
Consider your location: go where people are
nearby; avoid remote places.
If possible, provide your own transportation.
Learn self-defense techniques, which also build selfconfidence. Take RAD training.
Be aware of date rape drugs (information is listed
on the back of this program).
Go out in groups and watch out for your friends!
6. Use caution with technology.
Be aware that what you put out there can reach
more people than expected and make you a target
for rape or stalking.
Never meet an online acquaintance alone!
7. Learn more. Take bystander training..
Rape is NEVER the victim’s fault.
Responding to Rapist Aggression
You cannot predict what a rapist will do or how to
most safely respond. Trust your intuition and do what
feels right at the moment.
Three Options
1. Passive Resistance
Try to talk your way out of the situation. Remain calm,
and say whatever you need to discourage him.
Appeal to him as a friend, lie about your physical or
mental condition or about expecting someone to
2. Active Resistance
Fight back, using a variety of tactics until you can
escape. While this offers your best chance of
escaping, it is also the most risky—he may become
angry, more violent. There is no turning back once you
have begun this method.
Respond swiftly.
Scream, yell, make a scene.
continued…
Responding to Rapist - 2
(Active Resistance, cont.)
Run away. Important! Sadistic Rapist
Attack vulnerable
areas of his body. Focus
on these three areas at
once:
1. Groin: attack with
knees, feet or hands.
2. Face: poke eyes,
punch face, box or
twist ears, hit throat.
3. Kick shins and knees;
stomp on feet.
Also, bite and scratch.
Be persistent--keep
trying until something
works.
A very small percentage
of rapists are sadistic.
Signs: trying to tie you
up, inflicting a lot of pain
beyond the rape (may
bite you, burn you, etc.).
Never let a rapist tie you
up, (if you can help it).
A sadistic rapist may
torture and kill you.
If you think a rapist is
sadistic,
FIGHT FOR YOUR
LIFE at all costs!
3. Submission
Submission is NOT consent.
It is a form of self-defense that can lessen the
possibility of more severe harm or injury at the
hands of the rapist. You do not have to fight
back to show it was rape.
Men Can Stop Rape!
There are clear and
measurable differences in
the quality of life for men
and women in our
society.
Rape
Most women are
continually aware of rape.
The possibility of rape
impacts women’s
everyday lives, in the
choices they make, the places they go and the things
they do.
On the other hand, men’s lives do not include a high
risk of rape, and therefore men do not share this
experience.
We cannot change the past, but we can take
responsibility for the future.
Men CAN stop rape.
YOU CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE IN YOUR
EVERYDAY ACTIONS!
continued ...
Men Can Stop Rape - 2
1. Don’t Listen to or Tell Rape
Jokes.
Rape
Rape is not funny.
Jokes about rape portray women as objects, as
less than human. They provide a limited view of
women as only having a sexual function.
Rape jokes promote an attitude that makes it
easier to accept and tolerate rape in the real
world.
If you hear someone telling a rape joke, don’t
participate by listening or laughing. By going
along with him, you are giving him a reason to tell
such jokes. If possible, challenge the joke-teller,
or tell him that you don’t like to hear these kinds
of jokes.
2. Refuse to Watch Shows That Use Rape as a
‘Turn-On’.
These movies, TV shows and videos
unrealistically depict rape and perpetuate many
of the myths.
continued...
Men Can Stop Rape - 3
3. Don’t Harass Women.
Rape
Avoid verbally or physically
harassing women, and challenge
others who do so. This includes
whistling, making kissing noises, heavy
breathing, staring and making unwelcome sexual
comments.
While these may seem fun, this behavior often
threatens a woman’s sense of safety and well-being.
The real purpose of such behavior is to intimidate
the woman.
Like rape, harassment is not sexual. It is a
method of using sex to put women in their place
and to exercise power over women.
4. Don’t Rape.
There is a thin line between rape and other methods
of pressuring someone to consent to sex. For
instance, where does seduction stop and rape
begin?
Sexual intimacy is a free exchange between two
free people. If the other person is hesitant or
unwilling to have sex, then is consent freely
given?
continued...
Men Can Stop Rape – 4
(Don’t Rape, cont.)
Rape
Persuasion, intimidation,
coercion and force are hardly
expressions of love: they show a
complete lack of concern and respect for the
other person.
5. Support Rape Victims and Survivors.
Remind them that rape is never the victim’s fault.
If someone you know has been raped, she will
need supportive people around her.
It is a devastating experience, which robs the
victim of her sense of self-control and safety. The
healing process is difficult and takes time.
Offer your support and acceptance. Be willing to
listen, without making judgments.
Recognize that she needs to make her own
decisions, and that being there for her is helpful
in and of itself.
continued...
Men Can Stop Rape - 5
6. Banish homophobic attitudes.
Rape
Consider the effect of these
attitudes on same sex victims
and male victims (of either sexual orientation).
Such attitudes shut these victims out of the much
-needed opportunity for support, causing them to
suffer in silence.
7. Change Yourself.
We all grow and change. Examine your attitudes,
and see if they make sense. People once thought
the world was flat. Now we know better.
Sources for “Men Can Stop Rape”: Men’s Program Unit,
YWCA, University of Illinois, Chicago; A Rape Information
Packet, Women for Women, Bowling Green State
University.
Common Date Rape Drugs
Rohypnol (Flunitrazepam)
Rohypnol used to be undetectable, but now it is a
coated, blue pill that tints the drink blue. It is
tasteless and odorless.
AKA: roachies, roofies, rope, rib, woolfies,
Mexican valium, R2, LaRoacha, Stupefi.
GHB (gamma hydroxybutric)
GHB is very common because it can be homeproduced and is easy to use. It comes in a white
crystalline powder or clear, odorless liquid that
tastes slightly salty.
AKA: Liquid X, ecstasy, Grievous Bodily Harm,
Georgia Home Boys, Easy Lay, Ever Clear,
Cherry Meth, Soap, PM, salt water.
Ketamine
Ketamine usually comes in a clear white powder,
but can also be in liquid or capsule form. The first
reaction is powerful hallucinations.
AKA: Special K, Vitamin K, KitKat, Super K,
Green, Bump, Malcolm X's
Burundanga
Burundanga is highly soluble and tasteless,
producing a trance-like state.
creative approaches to the science of equality
About Us
Equalogy is an non-profit educational organization
dedicated to expanding awareness and promoting
social change around issues of equality, particularly
violence against women.
Our staff have a combined experience of over 80 years
in the sexual assault and domestic violence fields. For
over 25 years, we have been utilizing theatre to raise
awareness among all age groups. Many of our
programs have served as state and national models.
In addition to touring our plays, we develop curricula,
present workshops and trainings and provide technical
assistance to those working to end violence against
women.
To Schedule a Performance
Call or email:
(570) 387-0186; [email protected]
Visit our website at www.equalogyinc.org.
What Did You Think
about “One Night”?
Did the play have an impact on you?
Did it change how you think about rape? We appreciate your feedback and are happy to
answer your questions. Email us at:
[email protected]
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Tell friends & staff at other colleges about us. Pass
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of EQUALOGY, INC. All rights reserved.
No part of this play or accompanying handouts
may be produced or transmitted in any form or by
any means, electronic or mechanical, including
photocopy, recording or any other information
storage and retrieval system, without the written
permission of EQUALOGY, INC. This script may
not be performed, in part or as a whole, as written
or in adapted form, without the prior written
permission of EQUALOGY, INC.
Copyright © 1999-2014 by EQUALOGY, INC,
P.O. Box 204, Bloomsburg, PA.