Download Wacky Roman Emperors

Wacky Roman Emperors: Interesting and Memorable Notes
People always like to know some of the more unusual characteristics of Roman emperors,
and so in this brief section I hope to provide you with the best of what ancient writers and
modern researchers have to say about some of the first emperors. The following are
general trivia on some of the emperors of the first two centuries AD.
Augustus (27BC-14AD) Augustus had curly blonde hair, and was so vain about his locks
that he regularly had nine barbers working on his hair at once. Augustus ate the same
food as the common folk and did not live extravagantly like later emperors. He never
built himself a palace. Augustus was fond of gambling, some say addicted to it. Augustus
married his third wife at twenty-five and spent the last fifty-two years in wedlock with
her. Augustus is remembered as a fair and good emperor, brutal to enemies but kind to
the rest. He died of old age, not foul play!
Tiberius (14AD-37AD) Adopted by Augustus in 4 AD, he was already fifty-six when he
“assumed the purple.” He was large and strongly built and may have had a ponytail.
Tiberius was clumsy socially and did not enjoy being emperor, so he left Rome for the
island of Capri in 27 AD, leaving others to run the day-to-day business of the empire. He
built a palace on top of the island and had soldiers throw his enemies off the cliff to their
death on the rocks (after dining with them). He was prematurely pronounced dead one
day in 37 AD by his physicians, but he came back to life. Caligula, who was dying to
declare himself emperor, had a servant smother him with a pillow to make sure he didn’t
come back a second time.
Caligula (37AD-41AD) Caligula became emperor at age twenty-five and was murdered
at age twenty-nine. He was a tall and partially bald; he put you to death if you stared at
his bald spot. He liked to wear soldier’s boots as a boy, which is how he got the name
“Caligula.” His real name was Gaius. Caligula had four wives and one daughter in his
short life. He lived extravagantly, building a palace for his racehorse, allegedly drinking
pearls dissolved in wine, and sailing massive diamond-encrusted ships down the Tiber.
He may have suffered from venereal disease, as he became crazier and crazier each year.
Caligula was stabbed thirty times by his guards.
Claudius (41AD-54AD) Unlucky in love, every one of his six marriages was a disaster.
His second wife died on the wedding day, and his last one fed him poisoned mushrooms
and killed him! He was tall, fat, and had cerebral palsy, which made his movements jerky
and impaired his speech. Many thought him an idiot; in fact he was quite intelligent.
Claudius completed the conquest of Britain, but unfortunately he put his adopted son,
Nero, ahead of his real son as heir, leading to his murder in 54 AD.
Nero (54AD-68AD) “The monster.” He almost certainly ordered the arson squad that
caused the fire in Rome. He was responsible for the murder of his mother, two of his
wives, and his step-brother. Nero built the famous “Golden House” for himself and lived
extravagantly. When the Senate had finally had enough of his lunacy and ordered him
arrested in 68 AD, he killed himself with the help of his secretary. He was thirty-one
when he died.
Vespasian (69AD-79AD) Vespasian came to power after a year-long civil war.
Vespasian was the first emperor with no family lineage to Julius Caesar. He was strong
and well-built, and he loved to tell jokes and listen to them. Vespasian ordered the
Colosseum to be built; it was originally called the “Flavian Amphitheatre.” There were
no assassination attempts; he was a well-liked emperor. Vespasian died at age seventy of
a diarrhea attack brought on by bad water.
Titus (79AD-81AD) Titus was Vespasian’s son and ruled for only two years. His brother
Domitian, who had eyes on the throne, may have poisoned him. Titus had a great
classical education and spoke Greek and Latin perfectly; he wrote poetry and music. He
had a torrid love affair with an Eastern princess, Berenice, that was frowned upon by the
Romans. He was in power when Pompeii was destroyed and organized relief efforts.
Titus was feared as “the next Nero” before he took the helm, but he proved worthy of
respect and a good man during his short tenure as emperor.
Domitian (81AD-96AD) Domitian wore a wig to hide his bald head, and he tortured and
killed thousands of innocent Romans who he believed were a threat to his reign. Every
year of his fifteen years as emperor he became worse, and in 96 AD he was murdered by
his servants when they spotted their own names on one of his “death lists.”
Nerva (96AD-98AD) He became emperor at age sixty-six and reigned only two years.
Remembered for his big nose, alcoholism, and frail health, he was nevertheless a good
emperor. Before Nerva died of a fever, he adopted Trajan as his son. This began the line
of adoptive emperors (The Five Good Emperors) who ruled when Rome was at the zenith
of its power, from 96AD-180AD.
Trajan (98AD-117AD) Trajan was a strong military commander, and he tried to be a
normal person with his subjects rather than act like a god. Trajan is thought by many to
be the second best emperor (after Augustus) and ruled fairly and responsibly in his
nineteen years as emperor. Trajan was almost certainly bisexual. Sometimes compared to
Alexander the Great by the Romans. Trajan adopted Hadrian to succeed him, as he had
no children.
Hadrian (117AD-138AD) The first bearded emperor, he set the standard that led to most
Roman men wearing facial hair in the next century. Hadrian was gay. Hadrian built a city
in honor of his male lover, who died in Egypt. He built the one hundred twenty-mile
Hadrian’s Wall across England and a splendid villa for himself outside Rome. Hadrian
was married only once and had no children, so he adopted Antoninus Pius to succeed
him.
Antoninus Pius (138AD-161AD) Strong, handsome, tall, a good speaker, with a calm
and gentle personality. He left no real mark on Rome other than twenty-three years of
peace. Antoninus never left Rome in his reign and had no strange habits. He died from
eating bad cheese at age seventy-five.
Marcus Aurelius (161AD-180AD) Although he had only one wife, Marcus had fourteen
children. Many died at birth or before reaching the age of ten, leaving only one son, the
crazy Commodus to replace him. Famine, disease, and floods striking Rome marred
Marcus’ reign. Marcus probably died of cancer, and he became addicted to pain-killing
doses of opium in his last five years of life.
Commodus (180AD-192AD) He was incapable of ruling Rome or himself. Commodus
liked the company of low people and criminals and fought in gladiatorial contests,
allowing his opponents wooden swords while he had steel. He is famous for changing his
name to Hercules and re-naming all the months after himself. Murdered at age thirty-one
after eleven years as emperor, he was soon forgotten by his contemporaries.
Septimius Severus (193AD-211AD) He was born in Libya, a true non-Roman and the
first emperor of African descent. A small but powerful man, he was mentally sharp but
uneducated. A superior general, he liked to fight and was ruthless to his opponents. He
re-built Rome into a power again after the folly of Commodus.
Caracalla (211AD-217AD) Caracalla built a famous bathhouse in Rome, and was
nicknamed for the long cloak he wore, the “caracalla.” His real name was Antoninus.
Caracalla was popular with the army; however, he was killed while he relieved himself in
the woods by one of his officers. He was only twenty-nine.
Questions:
1) Who was the first bearded emperor? (Hadrian)
2) Which emperor re-named himself Hercules and all the months after himself?
(Commodus)
3) Which emperor began construction of the Colosseum? (Vespasian)
4) Which emperor became addicted to pain-killing doses of opium? (Marcus Aurelius)
1) Which emperor had his soldiers throw enemies off a cliff on the island of Capri?
(Tiberius)
6) Which emperor died when his wife fed him poisoned mushrooms?(Claudius)
7) Which emperor was compared by the Romans to Alexander the Great?(Trajan)
8) Which emperor was named after the army boots he wore as a child?(Caligula)
9) Which Roman emperor was criticized for his torrid love affair with an Eastern
princess?(Titus)
10) Which emperor was born in Libya?(Septimius Severus)