Download PROUD EAGLE_KEY

KEY The Proud Eagle
EXPERIENTIAL (& LOGICAL)/ INTERPERSONAL MEANING
The proud eagle
One day an eagle met a seagull at the beach. The eagle was proud. He thought he was bigger and
more powerful than the seagull. He wanted to show off.
‘I can fly higher than you. I’m the strongest bird in the sky. Let me show you around my country,’
he said.
‘Thank you. That’s very kind of you,’ said the seagull politely.
The eagle and the seagull flew (not really behavioural, as Behaver must be ‘human’) for an hour
over thick, magnificent jungle. They could see (usually behavioural, so ambiguous here as the
animals are treated as people) many different animals and plants.
‘Look! This is the biggest and wildest jungle in my country. Isn't it big?’ asked the eagle.
‘Yes, it’s enormous and impressive,’ said the seagull. Half an hour later they flew over a high,
snow-capped mountain. ‘This is the most beautiful and inaccessible place in my country,’ said the
eagle. ’It’s the highest mountain, and some dangerous animals live here.’
‘It’s fantastic!’ said the seagull as they soared over the rugged peaks.
The eagle thought it was time to make his point – time to see the seagull’s country. ‘If you’re not
too tired, can you show me your home?’ he enquired smugly.
‘Yes, sure. I’m not tired,’ said the seagull. They flew off over a wide, sparkling, emerald sea.
After five hours, the eagle was very very tired.
‘Are we near your home yet?’ he gasped.
‘Oh, no. It’s still a long way away!’ said the seagull. ‘This is only the beginning of my home - the
never-ending ocean!’
PATTERNS
OF…….
NOUNS
Description
Field: A[n imaginary] field is built up – the environment and actions
of 2 birds (personified, as they talk to each other)
Structure: Noun groups are often simple: the eagle, the seagull, the
PATTERNS
OF…….
Description
rugged peaks. Some are more complex: the most beautiful and
inaccessible place in my country & wide, sparkling, emerald sea; a high,
snow-capped mountain.
The most complex is:
Deictic
‘the
Dv
Co-ordinated pre-Modifers
most beautiful and inaccessible
Adj
Adj
Head
Post-Modifier
in my country’.
place
N
PP
Technicality: Most noun groups are non-abstract, non-technical
and everyday. But some more ‘academic’ words are ‘jungle,
snow-capped, rugged, ocean, which can help the students’academic
writing in senior primary and secondary school.
Distribution: about equal distribution (so the text is not ‘academic’),
but the noun groups are longer (more complex). This is also helpful
for students’ academic writing later.
VERBS
Process types (see analysis below):
Most processes are material
(with some ambiguous behavioural) or verbal, or mental. Because
the Actors, Sayers and Sensers are birds, they are ‘personified’ in
engaging in ‘human’ processes. This gives us a clue that the text is an
imaginary one, and probably for young readers. The number of
verbal verbs indicates much direct reported speech. Because there are
also a few phrasal verbs which are more often a feature of everyday,
informal language, the text is rather ‘spoken’, not a highly ‘literary’
text.
Structure: Verb groups are simple because they have few (= not
many) elements.
Logical
meaning
The most complex clauses: The eagle thought [ ] it was time to make his
point – time to see the seagull’s country. This is an Independent clause (the
eagle thought) with an ellipsed projected ‘that’ clause.
Conditional, dependent clause:
PATTERNS
OF…….
Description
‘If you’re not too tired, can you show me your home?
INTERPERSONAL MEANING
PATTERNS OF…..
Description
MOOD
Exclusively declarative (S^ F) in the narration, with part of the
direct speech in interrogative mood (F ^ S): therefore, the
writer is generally positioned as ‘teller’ (of information) to the
reader, while the participants (birds) are often positioned as
demander and giver of information within the participants’
‘talk’.
[Classroom application: Let me… imperative might be drawn
to ss attention]
TENSE & Voice
The narration and ‘projecting’ verbal verbs are in the past
tense – remote background events of the ‘story’. The dialogue
is generally in present tense construing the ‘here-and-now’ of
the participants.
MODALITY
Some modality of ‘inclination’ (can you show me …?) and
‘ability’ (I can fly…and ‘they could see’ - this is a marginal
kind of modality not ‘core’ modality, but it is also the only
modality type found commonly in primary school texts  even
though students can handle modality of probability etc).
PRONOUNS
‘He’ (not ‘it’) and ‘they’ in the background narration
construing the participants; and ‘I’, ‘my’, ‘you’ (>the
participants) and ‘this’ & ‘it’ (referring to the natural geog.
features ) in the interactive dialogue.
APPRAISAL/
EVALUATION
There are many explicitly evaluative words to construe the
positive description of the environment and intensify the
elements of the story (e.g. action: gasp). Each participant
competes to positively (subjectively) evaluate his ‘home’
PATTERNS OF…..
Description
(impressive, enormous, fantastic, never-ending….) .
Fizzy drinks
EXPERIENTIAL (+ LOGICAL) MEANING
Carbonated water or ‘fizzy drink’ is produced by dissolving carbon dioxide in water
under pressure. After the can has been opened, the dissolved carbon dioxide escapes to
the surrounding air where the pressure is lower. The escaping gases cause bubbling and
fizzing sounds, and this is the reason the drink is called ‘fizzy’. The continuous escape of
gases decreases the concentration of the carbonated water over time, and the amount of
escaping carbon dioxide gas also decreases. Thus, the drink becomes less ‘fizzy’.
PATTERNS
OF…….
NOUNS
Description
Field: A technical field is built up by: carbonated water, carbon
dioxide, water under pressure, the dissolved carbon dioxide, pressure
escaping gases, the concentration of the carbonated water …
Structure: while some NPs are simple (e.g. ‘the drink’), most are
somewhat complex (pre and post-modification - the surrounding air
(Head) where the pressure is lower; the continuous escape (Head) of
gases…
Longest NP:
Det Epithet/Pre-Modifier Head
Qualifier/post-Modifier
the surrounding
Detv AdjP
air
NP
where the pressure is lower
embedded clause
Technicality: Many noun groups are ‘technical’ and ‘abstract’
(carbonated water, carbon dioxide, pressure, escaping gases,
concentration ) Nominalization = ‘the continuous escape of gases’,
‘the concentration of the carbonated water’…..might need to be
unpacked into verbs for primary students.
Distribution: more nouns than verbs, typical of academic writing.
VERBS
Process types (see analysis above): mainly material processes
construing the activity of the ppts; with relational processes
PATTERNS
OF…….
Description
construing their attributes (lower) or identity (fizzy drinks).
Structure: Verb groups are mostly simple: ‘has been opened’ is
probably the most ‘complex’ (see tense analysis)
Logical
meaning
Logical inter-clausal relationships are: sequential (‘after….’) and
additive with ‘and’. “Thus…’ in the final clause marks the causal
relationship between the last two ‘sentences’.
INTERPERSONAL MEANING
PATTERNS OF…..
Description
MOOD
Exclusively (= only) Declarative (S^ F); therefore, the writer
is positioned as ‘teller’ (of information) to the reader.
TENSE & Voice
Exclusively present tense in active and passive voice
construing the generalisable and timeless factuality of the
propositions (claims, ideas, notions).
MODALITY
No modal verbs, no modality in advP, PP or NP so the writer
positions the events as ‘factual.’
PRONOUNS
The only pronoun, ‘This’ refers to the close-in-wording-context
notion of escaping gases. Therefore, the text is impersonal.
APPRAISAL/
EVALUATION
There are no explicitly evaluative words. Thus, the neutral
wording construes scientific ‘objectivity’.
[TEXTUAL MEANING]
PATTERNS
OF ……
COHESION
by
Description
Lexis: is the main form of cohesion (see noun and verb description
above).
PATTERNS
OF ……
Description
REFERENCE,
LEXIS &
ADJUNCTS
STARTING
POINTS OF
SENTENCES
Most sentences start with a ‘participant’, but one starts with ‘textual
markers’ (‘thus’ ) and anothers with ‘circumstances’ (After the can has
been opened…a clause). Carbonated water >. After the can has been
opened >The escaping gases >The continuous escape of gases >Thus,
the drink.. These provide a logical ‘backbone’ to the text.