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Chapter 6: Dealing with Conflict
Dealing with Conflict
6
CHANGES IN CHAPTER 6: 6/E FROM 5/E

This is the 5e Chapter 8, TA, Assertiveness, and Conflict Resolution, with a revised title. It fits better
here in the interpersonal skills section, following Chapter 5’s discussion of emotions.

The section “How Interpersonal Dynamics Affect Behavior, Human Relations, and Performance” has
been moved to the front of the chapter. The “Putting it All Together” subsection is now the last
section.

There are new Self-Assessment Exercises for TA and Assertiveness, using the Skill-Building
Exercises at the end of the chapter.

The subsection on workplace violence has be moved to the end of the assertiveness section and has
been expanded to include headings for causes of anger and violence, dealing with your own and
others anger and emotional control, signs of potential violence, and organizational and individual
prevention of violence, with two new work applications.

There are new explanations of the difference between the avoiding and accommodating and the
compromising and collaborating conflict management styles.

There is a new Self-Assessment Exercise 6-4 to explain how personality can affect TA, assertiveness
and conflict.

The case has been updated and questions 7-9 removed.

There is a new skill-building exercise, Using the XYZ Conflict Model, with five situations.
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Chapter 6: Dealing with Conflict
LECTURE OUTLINE PLUS
I. HOW INTERPERSONAL DYNAMICS
AFFECT BEHAVIOR, HUMAN RELATIONS, AND PERFORMANCE
See text for short discussion.
II. TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSIS
Self-Assessment Exercise 6-1: Your Preferred TA Style
Key term: Transactional analysis- a method of understanding behavior in interpersonal dynamics.
A. EGO STATES
The three ego states are:
1. Parent. The critical parent is evaluative, while the sympathetic parent is supportive.
2. Child. The natural child is curious, while the adapted child is rebellious.
3. Adult. The adult is a thinking unemotional state of ego.
Learning Outcome (LO 1): Describe the three ego states of transactional analysis.
The three ego states are: (1) Parent. The critical parent is evaluative, while the sympathetic parent is
supportive. (2) Child. The natural child is curious, while the adapted child is rebellious. (3) Adult. The
adult is a thinking, unemotional state of ego.
B. TYPES OF TRANSACTIONS
The three types of transactions are:
1. Complementary. They occur when the sender of the message gets the intended response from the
receiver.
Work Application (WA 1): Give an example of a complementary transaction you experienced. Be sure
to identify the ego states involved.
Sample answer: Me, from the adult ego state, "Pass me the Gramoldy file, please." Karen, from the adult
ego state, "Here you go."
2. Crossed. They occur when the sender does not get the expected response.
Work Application (WA 2): Give an example of a crossed transaction you experienced. Be sure to
identify the ego states involved.
Sample answer: Rich, from the adult ego state, "Please help me move the order out to the truck." Ben,
from the adapted child ego state, "Why should I help you? Its not my job."
3. Ulterior. They occur when the person appears to be in one ego state, but their behavior comes from a
different ego state.
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Learning Outcome (LO 2): Explain the three types of transactions.
The three types of transactions are: (1) Complementary. They occur when the sender of the message gets
the intended response from the receiver. (2) Crossed. They occur when the sender does not get the
expected response. (3) Ulterior. They occur when the person appears to be in one ego state, but his or her
behavior comes from a different ego state.
Work Application (WA 3): Give an example of an ulterior transaction you experienced. Be sure to
identify the ego states involved.
Sample answer: My roommate asked me which outfit to wear, in an adult manner; but when I selected
one, in an adult manner, my roommate said it didn't look good on. My roommate's second response came
from the child ego state. I guess my roommate was searching for a complementary sympathetic adult ego
state. If I'd have known I would have asked "which outfit do you like best?"
Application Situation (6-1): Transactional Analysis
1. A–Complementary. This is an adult-to-adult transaction.
2. C–Ulterior. The responder seems to be coming from an adult ego state, but is coming from a child ego
state.
3. B–Crossed. The child ego is asking for help from a sympathetic parent ego. However, the response is
from an adult ego state.
4. B–Crossed. The person answered the question on an adult level. However, the person came back with
an adapted child ego response.
5. A–Complementary. This is a child-to-child exchange; which is getting no where. An adult response
would be more helpful.
C. LIFE POSITIONS AND STROKING
Exhibit 6.1: May be shown to illustrate the four life positions.
Skill Building 6.1: Transactional Analysis, may be used to better understand interpersonal dynamics.
1. Life positions. I'm OK–You're not OK, I'm OK–You're OK, I'm not OK–You're not OK, I'm not OK–
You're OK.
2. Stroking. Strokes are our behavior with others. Strokes can be positive and make other people feel
good about themselves, or they can be negative and hurt human relations.
Work Application (WA 4): Identify your present/past boss's life position and use of stroking.
Sample answer: My boss's life position was I'm OK–You're not OK. He always bragged about what a
good worker he was and how everyone else was lazy. He used negative strokes. He was always sneaking
around trying to catch employees doing something wrong so he could yell at them.
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Chapter 6: Dealing with Conflict
III. ASSERTIVENESS
Self-Assessment Exercise 6-2: Your Use of the Assertiveness Style
Key term: assertiveness- the process of expressing thoughts and feelings while asking for what one wants
in an appropriate way.
A. PASSIVE BEHAVIOR
Passive behavior is nonassertive. The passive person gives in to others without standing up for his or her
rights. Continued passiveness is usually destructive to the individual and organization.
B. AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOR
Aggressive behavior includes the use of force to get one's own way; often at the expense of violating
others rights. Aggressive behavior is usually meet with fight or flight response; both result in hurt human
relations and decreased performance.
C. PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOR
Passive-aggressive behavior tends to take three forms:
1. The user changes back and forth and is unpredictable.
2. The person uses passive behavior during the situation, than takes it out on others.
3. The blow up. This behavior begins with passive behavior. The person does not stand up for his or her
rights and lets the anger build up until exploding with aggressive behavior. Passive-aggressive behavior
usually results in hurt human relations and performance.
Example: A person has a bad day at work and says nothing. Then s/he goes home and yells at the family
all night.
Work Application (WA 5): Recall an example of when you used or observed passive-aggressive
behavior. How did it affect human relations?
Sample answer: My boyfriend does this all the time. I do these little things that bother him but he doesn't
say anything at that time. Then all of a sudden he yells at me and complains by listing the things I've done
over the passed week or two. Human relations are hurt because we end up fighting.
D. ASSERTIVE BEHAVIOR
Key term: Assertiveness is the process of expressing thoughts and feelings while asking for what one
wants in an appropriate way. Assertive behavior involves standing up for one's rights without violating
the rights of others.
Learning Outcome (LO 3): Identify the differences between passive, aggressive, and assertive
behavior.
(1) Passive behavior is nonassertive. The passive person gives in to the other party without standing up
for his or her rights. (2)Aggressive behavior includes the use of force to get one's own way; often at the
expense of violating others rights. (3) Assertive behavior involves standing up for one's rights without
violating the rights of others.
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1. Being assertive.
Exhibit 6-2: Passive, Assertive, and Aggressive Phrases may be shown.
Work Application (WA 6): Recall an actual conflict you faced. Identify passive, aggressive, and
assertive responses to the situation.
Sample answer: The situation I face is my roommate having his girl friend over all the time and it affects
my studying.
-Passive response. "I would say nothing, just do my best or go study somewhere else.
-Aggressive response. "Get Jean out of here and don't bring her in here while I'm studying."
-Assertive response. When the two of as are alone I could say something like, "I'm glad you and Jean get
along so well, but you have her over here so often that my studying is suffering. Lets work out an
agreement so that I can study and you can socialize."
2. Assertiveness steps.
Exhibit 6-3: Assertiveness Steps may be shown.
1. Set an objective.
2. Determine how to create a win-win situation.
3. Develop an assertive phrase.
4. Implement your plan persistently.
Learning Outcome (LO 4): List the four steps of assertive behavior.
(1) Set an objective.
(2) Determine how to create a win-win situation.
(3) Develop an assertive phrase.
(4) Implement your plan persistently.
Skill Building 6.2: Assertiveness. This exercise can be used to develop assertiveness ability.
Application Situation (6-2): Assertiveness
6. B–Aggressive. The person is using force to get out of doing the job.
7. C–Assertive. This question addresses the legitimacy of the request and gives the supervisor a chance to
change it.
8. A–Passive. The person is going to do the unreasonable request, rather than stand up for the right not to
do it.
9. B–Aggressive. Calling the supervisor's request stupid is aggressive behavior.
10. C–Assertive. The person has given a good reason for refusing to be taken advantage of.
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E. DEALING WITH ANGER AND PREVENTING WORKPLACE VIOLENCE
1. Causes of Anger and Violence. Desk rage can take the form of yelling, verbal abuse, and physical
violence. Some of the reasons include: personality, frustration, stress, fear, unresolved conflict, work
environment.
2. Dealing With Anger.
a. Your Anger and Emotional Control.
b. Anger of Others and Emotional Control.
See text for tips.
3. Signs of Potential Violence. See text for list of signs.
4. Organizational Prevention of Violence. See text for tips.
5. Individual Prevention of Violence. We have given you most of the tips above. See text for additional
tips.
Work Application (WA 7): Recall a situation in which someone was angry with you, preferably your
boss. What was the cause of the anger? Did the person display any signs of potential violence? If so,
what were they? How well did the person deal with his or her anger? Give specific tips the person did
and did not follow.
Sample answer: My boss was made when I made an error. He did not display any signs of violence. He
did a good job, as he did not put me down, he stayed calm, didn’t give orders—but he did say don’t do it
again,
Work Application (WA 8): Recall a situation in which you were angry with someone. What was the
cause of your anger? Did you display any signs of potential violence? If so, what were they? How well
did you deal with your anger? Give specific tips you did and did not follow.
I got mad when a coworker agreed to do a report the same way I did it, but he did not. I did not show any
signs of violence, as I did not discuss it with him. I did not resolve the conflict and it hurt our human
relations, so I did not handle my anger very well.
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V. CONFLICT MANAGEMENT STYLES
Key term: Conflict exists whenever two or more parties are in disagreement. Say, “As you have read,
conflict management skills are important.”
A. REASONS FOR CONFLICT AND AVOIDING CONFLICTS
Learning Outcome (LO 5): Explain when a conflict exists.
A conflict exists whenever two or more parties are in disagreement.
1. Conflict has positive benefits. A balance of conflict is needed.
Work Application (WA 9): Describe a conflict you observed in an organization, preferably one you
have been associated with. Explain the conflict by the people involved and the reasons for the conflict.
Sample answer: Conflict is abundant at the bank I work for. I have a conflict with my boss in the way we
approach things differently, it slows us down when we have to iron out how I will perform a task. The
type of conflict is interpersonal and the source is personal differences. We regularly have intragroup
conflict with the loan department when they give us inaccurate information.
Self-Assessment Exercise 6-3: Determining Your Preferred Conflict Management Style
Exhibit 6-4: Management Conflict Styles. May be shown as you cover the five styles.
B. FORCING CONFLICT STYLE
Key term: forcing conflict style- the user attempts to resolve the conflict by using aggressive behavior. It
creates an autocratic win-lose situation. It should be used when the conflict is of personal differences,
relationships are not important, and time is short.
Example: A supervisor asks an employee to perform a task right away because it must be sent out that
day. The employee disagrees. The forcing style should be used to get the job done.
1. Advantages and Disadvantages of the Forcing Conflict Style.
2. Appropriate use of the Forcing Conflict Style.
C. THE AVOIDING CONFLICT STYLE
Key term: With the avoiding conflict style the user attempts to passively ignore the conflict rather than
resolve it.
When avoiding takes place, the conflict is not resolved. It should be used when one feels the conflict is
minor, important relationships may be hurt, and time is short.
Example: A staff executive tells a line supervisor to do something. Having no authority to tell the
supervisor what to do, the supervisor could refuse. However, because the person is an executive and the
supervisor does not mind doing the request, she avoids the conflict by performing the task, even though it
is not her job to do so.
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1. Advantages and Disadvantages of the Avoiding Conflict Style.
2. Appropriate use of the Avoiding Conflict Style.
D. ACCOMMODATING CONFLICT STYLE
Key term: With the accommodating conflict style, the user attempts to resolve the conflict by passively
giving in to the other party.
The accommodator goes along with ideas they do not agree with, in order to avoid a conflict. This style
should be used when maintaining relations are the most important considerations, the ideas are not
important to the accommodator but are to the other party, and time is short.
Example: A supervisor's boss has just given her autocratic directions for completing a task. The
supervisor realizes that there is an easier way to do the job and begins to say so; however, the boss says
do it my way. So she does it the boss's way.
1. Advantages and Disadvantages of the Accommodating Conflict Style.
2. Appropriate use of the Accommodating Conflict Style.
E. COMPROMISING CONFLICT STYLE
Key term: With the compromising conflict style, the user attempts to resolve the conflict through
assertive give and take concessions. There are times when the supervisor cannot have things his or her
way and must compromise. Compromise should take place when the issues are complex and critical,
there is no simple and clear solution, parties disagree, and time is short.
Example: A supervisor assigns an employee five task to perform before the day is over. The employee
complains that there is not enough time to complete all five tasks, he only has time to do three. In
thinking about it, the supervisor realizes that the employee would have a very difficult time doing all five
tasks today, and one can wait until tomorrow; so he changes the assignment to perform four tasks.
1. Advantages and Disadvantages of the Compromising Conflict Style.
2. Appropriate use of the Compromising Conflict Style.
F. COLLABORATING CONFLICT STYLE
Key term: With the collaborating conflict style, the user assertively attempts to jointly resolve the
conflict with the best solution agreeable to all parties.
This style is generally the preferred style, but cannot be used at all times. It is appropriate to use when
relationships are important, time is available, and for peer conflicts.
Example: A supervisor is delegating a task to a highly capable employee. The employee recommends
ideas. The supervisor likes some of the ideas but feels he has some better ideas on how to do the task.
Together the two come to an agreement on the best way to do the task.
1. Advantages and Disadvantages of the Collaborating Style.
2. Appropriate use of the Collaborating Conflict Style.
Learning Outcome (LO 6): State when and how to use five conflict management styles.
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The five conflict management styles are:
1. Forcing–the user attempts to resolve the conflict by using aggressive behavior. It should be used when
the conflict is of personal differences.
2. Avoiding–the user attempts to passively ignore the conflict rather than resolve it. It should be use
when one's stake in the issue in not high.
3. Accommodating–the user attempts to resolve the conflict by passively giving in to the other party. It
should be used when maintaining relations outweigh all other considerations.
4. Compromising–the user attempts to resolve the conflict through assertive give and take and
concessions. It should be used when the issues are complex and critical; there is no simple and clear
solution.
5. Collaborating–the user assertively attempts to jointly resolve the conflict with the best solution
agreeable to all parties. It should be used for peer conflicts.
Work Application (WA 10): Give an example of a conflict situation you face or have faced. Identify
and explain the appropriate conflict management style to use.
Sample answer: An employee who has been told before to put on safety goggles when operating the
machine is not wearing them again. The supervisor should use the forcing style to get him to wear them.
Application Situation (AS 6-3): Selecting Conflict Management Styles
11. E–Collaborating. The issues are critical, relationships are important, and they deal with peers.
12. D–Accommodating. Maintaining relationship is your prime concern. The decision is not important to
you but is to the other party.
13. A–Forcing. The conflict is probably of personal differences because it recurs. Time is critical to meet
the deadline. Settle it.
14. C–Compromising. The issues are complex. There is no superior computer, and people disagree.
15. E–Collaborating. The issue is critical. Forcing could result in the sales person doing a poor job, and
losing the sale. The person is competent.
16. B–Avoiding. The time restraint necessitates postponing action. Deal with it when you get back form
the meeting.
17. D–Accommodating. Even though you would rather go after your own crises is resolved; your boss is
using an autocratic style. Accommodating is appropriate. 18. C. Compromising. Every one can not get
what they want, there is no clear solution. Everyone has a strong interest in their own department. One
hour is short time.
19. E–Collaborating. Relations are important. Time is available; and it is a peer conflict.
20. A–Forcing. Relationships are not important. The resolution is somewhat urgent; you are over budget.
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Chapter 6: Dealing with Conflict
V. RESOLVING CONFLICTS WITH THE COLLABORATING CONFLICT STYLE
A. INITIATING CONFLICT RESOLUTION
Key term: The initiating conflict resolution steps:
Behavior Video Module 6: Initiating conflict resolution, may be shown in place of, or in addition to, the
following.
Step 1. Plan to maintain ownership of the problem using the XYZ model.
Step 2. Implement your plan persistently.
Step 3. Make an agreement for change.
Key term: The XYZ model describes the problem in terms of behavior, consequences, and feelings.
Work Application (WA 11): Use the XYZ model to describe a conflict problem you face or have faced.
Sample answer: When you make me work overtime (behavior), I'm late for my softball game
(consequences), and I get angry about missing part of the game (feelings). Sometimes I have to miss
playing additional innings when I get there late (consequence).
Behavior Video Module 6-2: Mediating Conflict Resolution may be shown in place of, or in addition to
the following steps. It is a follow-up to BMV-6-1.
Skill Building 6.3 and 6.4: Can be used to develop students’ skill at resolving conflicts.
B. RESPONDING TO CONFLICT RESOLUTION
Exhibit 6-5: Conflict Resolution may be used to show the recommended steps to follow in resolving
conflicts in sections A-C below.
Key term: responding conflict resolution steps. They are:
Step 1. Listen to, and paraphrase the problem using the XYZ model,
Step 2. Agree with some aspect of the complaint,
Step 3. Ask for, and/or give, alternative solutions,
Step 4. Make an agreement for change.
C. MEDIATING CONFLICT RESOLUTION
Key term: mediating conflict resolution steps. They are:
Step 1. Have each party state their complaint using the XYZ model,
Step 2. Agree on a problem(s),
Step 3. Develop alternative solutions,
Step 4. Make an agreement for change, and follow up.
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Learning Outcome (LO 7): List the steps of initiating, responding to, and mediating conflict
resolutions.
Initiating conflict resolution steps: 1. Plan to maintain ownership of the problem using the XYZ model.
2. Implement your plan persistently. 3. Make an agreement for change.
Responding conflict resolution steps: 1. Listen to, and paraphrase the problem. 2. Agree with some aspect
of the complaint. 3. Ask for, and/or give alternative solutions. 4. Make an agreement for change.
Mediating conflict resolution steps: 1. Have each party state their complaint using the XYZ model. 2.
Agree on a problem(s). 3. Develop alternative solutions. 4. Make an agreement for change, and follow
up.
Work Application (WA 12): Describe an actual situation in which the initiating, response, and/or
mediation conflict resolution model would be appropriate.
Sample answer: I am presently in conflict situation with my co-operative job. I am carrying 21 credit
hours and working 20 hours per week. My grades are suffering and I cannot handle it. I need to pass all
my classes to graduate in May, so I will have to cut back on my co-op work hours. I know when I go to
see my co-op supervisor we will be in conflict. I will initiate it using the model. I believe it will help.
VI. PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER
Exhibit 6-6: Interpersonal Dynamics Styles may be shown to tie the concepts of transactional analysis,
assertiveness, and conflict.
The adult, assertive, collaborating style has the most positive affects on behavior, human relations, and
performance.
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Chapter 6: Dealing with Conflict
LEARNING OUTCOME ANSWERS
LO 1. Describe the three ego states of transactional analysis.
The three ego states are:

Parent—The critical parent is evaluative, while the sympathetic parent is supportive.

Child—The natural child is curious, while the adapted child is rebellious.

Adult—The adult is a thinking unemotional state of ego.
LO 2. Explain the three types of transactions.
The three types of transactions are:

Complementary—They occur when the sender of the message gets the intended response from the
receiver.

Crossed—They occur when the sender does not get the expected response.

Ulterior—They occur when the person appears to be in one ego state, but his or her behavior comes
from a different ego state.
LO 3. Identify the differences between passive, aggressive, and assertive behavior.

Passive behavior is nonassertive. The passive person gives in to the other party without standing up
for his or her rights.

Aggressive behavior includes the use of force to get one's own way; often at the expense of violating
others rights.

Assertive behavior involves standing up for one's rights without violating the rights of others.
LO 4. List the four steps of assertive behavior.
1. Set an objective.
2. Determine how to create a win-win situation.
3. Develop an assertive phrase.
4. Implement your plan persistently.
LO 5. Explain when a conflict exists.
A conflict exists whenever two or more parties are in disagreement.
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LO 6. State when and how to use five conflict management styles.
The five conflict management styles are:
1. Forcing—the user attempts to resolve the conflict by using aggressive behavior. It should be used
when the conflict is of personal differences.
2. Avoiding—the user attempts to passively ignore the conflict rather than resolve it. It should be use
when one's stake in the issue in not high.
3. Accommodating—the user attempts to resolve the conflict by passively giving in to the other party. It
should be used when maintaining relations outweigh all other considerations.
4. Compromising—the user attempts to resolve the conflict through assertive give and take and
concessions. It should be used when the issues are complex and critical, there is no simple and clear
solution.
5. Collaborating—the user assertively attempts to jointly resolve the conflict with the best solution
agreeable to all parties. It should be used for peer conflicts.
LO 7. List the steps of initiating, responding to, and mediating conflict resolutions.
Initiating conflict resolution steps:
1. Plan to maintain ownership of the problem using the XYZ model.
2. Implement your plan persistently.
3. Make an agreement for change.
Responding conflict resolution steps:
1. Listen to and paraphrase the problem.
2. Agree with some aspect of the complaint.
3. Ask for and/or give alternative solutions.
4. Make an agreement for change.
Mediating conflict resolution steps:
1. Have each party state their complaint using the XYZ model.
2. Agree on a problem(s).
3. Develop alternative solutions.
4. Make an agreement for change, and follow up.
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Chapter 6: Dealing with Conflict
WORK APPLICATION SAMPLE ANSWERS
(WA 1) Give an example of a complementary transaction you experienced. Be sure to identify the
ego states involved.
Sample answer: Me, from the adult ego state, "pass me the Gramoldy file please" Karen, from the adult
ego state, "here you go."
(WA 2) Give an example of a crossed transaction you experienced. Be sure to identify the ego
states involved.
Sample answer: Rich, from the adult ego state- "please help me move the order out to the truck." Ben,
from the adapted child ego state, "Why should I help you, its not my job."
(WA 3) Give an example of an ulterior transaction you experienced. Be sure to identify the ego
states involved.
Sample answer: My roommate asked me which outfit to wear, in an adult manner; but when I selected
one, in an adult manner, my roommate said it didn't look good on. My roommate's second response came
from the child ego state. I guess my roommate was searching for a complementary sympathetic adult ego
state. If I'd known, I would have asked "which outfit do you like best?"
(WA 4) Identify your present/past boss's life position and use of stroking.
Sample answer: My boss's life position was I'm OK–You're not OK. He always bragged about what a
good worker he was and how everyone else was lazy. He used negative strokes. He was always sneaking
around trying to catch employees doing something wrong so he could yell at them.
(WA 5) Recall an example of when you used or observed passive-aggressive behavior. How did it
affect human relations?
Sample answer: My boyfriend does this all the time. I do these little things that bother him but he doesn't
say anything at that time. Then all of a sudden he yells at me and complains by listing the things I've done
over the passed week or two. Human relations are hurt because we end up fighting.
(WA 6) Recall an actual conflict situation you faced. Identify passive, aggressive, and assertive
responses to the situation.
Sample answer: The situation I face is my roommate having his girl friend over all the time and it affects
my studying.
-Passive response. "I would say nothing, just do my best or go study somewhere else.
-Aggressive response. "Get Jean out of here and don't bring her in here while I'm studying."
-Assertive response. When the two of as are alone I could say something like, "I'm glad you and Jean get
along so well, but you have her over here so often that my studying is suffering. Lets work out an
agreement so that I can study and you can socialize."
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(WA 7) Recall a situation in which someone was angry with you, preferably your boss. What was
the cause of the anger? Did the person display any signs of potential violence? If so, what were
they? How well did the person deal with his or her anger? Give specific tips the person did and
did not follow.
Sample answer: My boss was made when I made an error. He did not display any signs of violence. He
did a good job, as he did not put me down, he stayed calm, didn’t give orders—but he did say don’t do it
again,
(WA 8) Recall a situation in which you were angry with someone. What was the cause of your
anger? Did you display any signs of potential violence? If so, what were they? How well did you
deal with your anger? Give specific tips you did and did not follow.
Sample answer: I got mad when a coworker agreed to do a report the same way I did it, but he did not. I
did not show any signs of violence, as I did not discuss it with him. I did not resolve the conflict and it
hurt our human relations, so I did not handle my anger very well.
(WA 9) Describe a conflict you observed in an organization, preferably one you have been
associated with. Explain the type of conflict in terms of the people involved and the reasons for
the conflict.
Sample answer: Conflict is abundant at the bank I work for. I have a conflict with my boss in the way we
approach things differently, it slows us down when we have to iron out how I will perform a task. The
type of conflict is interpersonal and the source is personal differences. We regularly have intragroup
conflict with the loan department when they give us inaccurate information.
(WA 10) Give an example of a conflict situation you face or have faced. Identify and explain the
appropriate conflict management style to use.
Sample answer: An employee who has been told before to put on safety goggles when operating the
machine is not wearing them again. The supervisor should use the forcing style to get him to wear them.
(WA 11) Use the XYZ model to describe a conflict problem you face or have faced.
Sample answer: When you make me work overtime (behavior), I'm late for my softball game
(consequences), and I get angry about missing part of the game (feelings). Sometimes I have to miss
playing additional innings when I get there late (consequence).
(WA 12) Describe an actual situation in which the initiating, response, and/or mediating conflict
resolution model would be appropriate.
Sample answer: I am presently in conflict situation with my co-operative job. I am carrying 21 credit
hours and working 20 hours per week. My grades are suffering and I cannot handle it. I need to pass all
my classes to graduate in May, so I will have to cut back on my co-op work hours. I know when I go to
see my co-op supervisor we will be in conflict. I will initiate it using the model. I believe it will help.
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Chapter 6: Dealing with Conflict
APPLICATION SITUATION ANSWERS
Note: There are multiple choice test questions in the test bank that are similar to the AS in the text to
assess application ability.
(AS 6-1) Transactional Analysis
1.
A
Complementary. This is an adult-to-adult transaction.
2.
C
Ulterior. The responder seems to be in an adult ego state, but is actually in a child ego state.
3.
B
Crossed. The child ego is asking for help from a sympathetic parent ego. However, the
response is from an adult ego state.
4.
B
Crossed. The person answered the question on an adult level. However, the person came
back with an adapted child ego response.
5.
A
Complementary. This is a child-to-child exchange; which is getting now where. An adult
response would be more helpful.
(AS 6-2) Assertiveness
6.
B
Aggressive. The person is using force to get out of doing the job.
7.
C
Assertive. This question addresses the legitimacy of the request and gives the supervisor a
chance to change it.
8.
A
Passive. The person is going to do the unreasonable request, rather than stand up for the
right not to do it.
9.
B
Aggressive. Calling the supervisor's request stupid is aggressive behavior.
10.
C
Assertive. The person has given a good reason for refusing to be taken advantage of.
(AS 6-3) Selecting Conflict Management Styles
11.
E
Collaborating. The issues are critical, relationships are important, and they deal with peers.
12.
D
Accommodating. Maintaining relationship is your prime concern. The decision is not
important to you but is to the other party.
13.
A
Forcing. The conflict is probably of personal differences because it recurs. Time is critical
to meet the deadline. Settle it.
14.
C
Compromising. The issues are complex. There is no superior computer, and people
disagree.
15.
E
Collaborating. The issue is critical. Forcing could result in the sales person doing a poor
job, and losing the sale. The person is competent.
16.
B
Avoiding. The time restraint necessitates postponing action. Deal with it when you get back
form the meeting.
17.
D
Accommodating. Even though you would rather go after your own crises is resolved; your
boss is using an autocratic style. Accommodating is appropriate.
18.
C
Compromising. Every one cannot get what they want, there is no clear solution. Everyone
has a strong interest in his/her own department. One hour is short time.
19.
E
Collaborating. Relations are important. Time is available; and it is a peer conflict.
20.
A
Forcing. Relationships are not important. The resolution is somewhat urgent; you are over
budget.
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Chapter 6: Dealing with Conflict
CASE ANSWERS
Andy Cunningham—Citigate Cunningham
1. How is assertiveness illustrated in this case?
Andrea had productive senior employees complain and even quit, yet she remained assertive and kept the
system, even though she lost productive employees.
2. Identify at least two conflict situations at Cunningham.
There was conflict between groups under the first team approach. There was conflict between Andrea
and her senior employees—most of them quit.
3. Which conflict management style did Andrea use with the senior staff?
Andrea used the forcing conflict style with the senior staff. It was basically change or leave, and most
senior staff chose to leave.
4. Did Andrea Cunningham effectively resolve the two conflicts you identified in Question 2?
Yes, getting rid of the team fighting and the senior staff that did not fit the new culture were needed to
improve performance at Citigate Cunningham.
CUMULATIVE CASE QUESTIONS
5. What are the learning organization issues in this case (Chapter 2 and 5)?
Under the first change to teams, the team structure cause learning organization problems. Teams were
viewing themselves as in competition and not sharing information. Sharing information, or knowledge
management is a critical part of organizational learning.
6. What happened to job satisfaction through the change to teams (Chapter 3)?
For most associates, job satisfaction increased. However, for the senior staff, it went down to the point of
some quitting their jobs.
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Chapter 6: Dealing with Conflict
OBJECTIVE CASE ANSWERS
Bill and Saul's Conflict
Note: There are no cases in the test bank. However, there are questions in the test bank that are similar to
case question 1-10 to assess application ability.
1. E–Adapted child. Bill was rebellious and blamed others.
2. C–Adult. Saul was rational and unemotional.
3. B–Crossed. Bill wanted Saul to be a sympathetic parent, but he wasn't. 4. A. I'm OK-You're not OK.
Bill acts like its all Saul's fault.
5. B–Aggressive. Bill is trying to force Saul to do what he wants.
6. C–Assertive. Saul will not let Bill take advantage of him, in an appropriate way.
7. A–Interpersonal. It is between two people. However, there is a bit of natural intergroup conflict.
8. A–Personal. Bill wants Saul to change the standard order time, and he will not.
9. A–Forcing. Bill kept trying to force Saul, especially with his threat of Mr. Carlson.
10. B–Compromising. Saul is trying to compromise with four day, while Bill continues to use force to get
a two-day delivery.
11. The author would not have taken the order, then try to force Saul. He would have called Saul and
asked him about the order. If asked, Saul may have went with the two days, or compromised or
collaborated with three days, rather than the five Bill now has to wait.
12. The author would bring the two of them together to work it out using the mediate conflict resolution
style. More than this one order needs to be decided. Bill and Saul must work together for future orders as
well. Saul should accommodate quick orders when possible, while Bill should not make quick delivery
sales without Saul's input.
Role Play: Have students role play being Bill and Saul during the conversation. Or, have students role
play being Mr. Carlson, bringing the two together to resolve this conflict.
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Chapter 6: Dealing with Conflict
VIDEO CASE
Risky Business: Despite Recent Events, Workplace Homicides on the Decline
Total time (3 minutes)
The case discusses violence in the workplace and the importance of safety and prevention.
CRITICAL THINKING QUESTIONS
1. How can we deal with our anger at work in a positive way?
There are six tips in the textbook.
2. How can we deal with the anger of others at work?
There are seven tips in the textbook.
3. What are some of the signs of potential violence?
There are seven signs in the textbook.
4. What are organizations doing to prevent violence at work?
An answer is provided in the text.
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Chapter 6: Dealing with Conflict
BEHAVIOR MODEL VIDEO BM-6-1 AND BM-6-2
The video has two modules for this chapter: Module 6-1 and 6-2.
MODULE 6-1 INITIATING CONFLICT RESOLUTION
In the video the MC introduces the model, followed by a staff person initiating a conflict resolution when
a training person request that a job that normally takes two days be ready in three hours.
Discussion
After viewing the video you may ask the class any or all of the following questions:
1. What did you like about the way the conflict was initiated?
2. What didn't you like about the way the conflict was initiated?
3. Did the conflict initiator follow the model steps?
Step 1. Did the initiator maintain ownership of the problem using the XYZ model? Could you
have improved on this step? How?
Step 2. Was the initiator persistent?. Was the amount of persistence all right, too pushy, or was it
not persistent enough? Could you have improved on this step? step 3. Did they make an
agreement for change? Could you have done something differently to get a better agreement to
change?
4. Do you think change will take place? Why or Why not?
5. If you were the initiator of this conflict how would you handle it? What would you say?
6. Is this model helpful to you? Explain your answer.
Add your own questions
Note: This video may serve as a behavior model to Skill Building Exercise 6.4, Initiating Conflict
Resolution.
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Chapter 6: Dealing with Conflict
MODULE 6-2 MEDIATING CONFLICT RESOLUTION
This module is a follow up to initiating conflict resolution video. It can be shown after the first video or
without it. In this video, the prior conflict was not resolved. The trainer still requests work ahead of
normal time. The printed material was not ready when requested, so the trainer went to complain to the
boss. The boss calls the two of them in to mediate a conflict resolution.
Discussion
After viewing the video you may ask the class any or all of the following questions:
1. What did you like about the way the supervisor mediated the conflict?
2. What didn't you like about the way the supervisor mediated the conflict?
3. Did the supervisor follow the model steps:
Step 1. Did the supervisor have each party state their complaint using the XYZ model? Could
this have been done more effectively?
Step 2. Did they agree on a problem? Could this step have been handled more effectively?
Step 3. Did they develop alternative solutions? Are there alternatives they did not think of?
Step 4. Did they agree on change? Is there a better way to resolve the conflict?
4. Do you think the conflict will be resolved this time? Why or Why not?
5. If you were the supervisor in this situation how would you have mediated this conflict?
6. Is this model helpful to the supervisor? Explain your answer.
7. As a supervisor, would you use this model to mediate conflict? Why or Why not?
Add your own questions
Note: There is no skill building exercise to use as a follow up to this mediating conflict video. However,
you can have students role-play being Mr. Carlson resolving the conflict between Saul and Bill, from
Objective Case 8.
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Chapter 6: Dealing with Conflict
SKILL BUILDING EXERCISE, SB-6.1
Transactional Analysis
Total time (5-50 minutes)
Select the time you want to allocate to this exercise and an option for its use.

Option A may take about 5 minutes, unless students have several questions.

Option B will vary with how much discussion you have on the consequences of each alternative
behavior.

Option C can go for 50 minutes. Under option C you can have them do more situations at a time, and
only do some of them in groups.
Recommended Answers to TA Situations
Sit.
SR-
a.
b.
c.
d.
e.
Answer(s)*
1.
SP
CP
SP
AC
NC
A
e-b
2.
CP
AC
A
SP
CP
NC
b-c
3.
SP
NC
CP
AC
SP
A
e-d
4.
A
A
NC
CP
AC
SP
a-e
5.
A
AC
SP
A
NC
CP
c-d
6.
NC
CP
SP
A
AC
NC
c-b
7.
CP
SP
NC
AC
A
CP
d
8.
AC
A
CP
SP
AC
NC
a
9.
NC
CP
AC
SP
NC
A
d-e
10.
A
CP
A
AC
NC
SP
b-e
*Either answer is acceptable. Answers are in the SA Ex 6-1 grid.
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Chapter 6: Dealing with Conflict
SKILLS ASSESSMENT OF SB 8-1
There are situations in the test bank similar to the 10 TA situations in the text.
1. A customer brought a pair of shoes to be resoled. Later, she picked them up and left. At home, she
realized the shoes were now too tight. She returned to the shoe shop and said, “What’s wrong with you?
Don’t you know how to put new soles on without making the shoe smaller? The shoe repair person’s
possible responses are below. Identify the transactional response (TA) ego state of each response, and
then select the best answer for the situation.
A. Sympathetic parent
B. Critical parent
C. Adult
D. Natural Child
E. Adaptive Child
_____ 1. “It’s not my fault, and they can’t be redone. See you later.”
_____ 2. “I’m sorry it happened. How do you feel about my stretching the shoes so they will fit?”
_____ 3. “You must have been disappointed. They are a real nice pair of shoes. What can I do to make it
up to you?”
_____ 4. “If you took better care of your shoes, it wouldn’t have happened.”
_____ 5. “That’s funny; it never happened before.”
Answer:
1. E–adaptive child
2. C–adult
3. A–sympathetic parent
4. B–critical parent
5. D–natural child
6. A (adult), then C (sympathetic parent)
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Chapter 6: Dealing with Conflict
2. The manager assigned an employee a task stating exactly how it should be done. The employee
deliberately ignored the directions and did it his way. The job will not meet the customer’s standards.
The manager tells the employee this in the adult style and the employee possible responses are below.
Identify the transactional analysis (TA) ego state of each response, and then select the best response for
the situation.
A. Sympathetic Parent
B. Critical Parent
C. Adult
D. Natural Child
E. Adaptive Child
_____ 1. “Sorry about that. I’ll redo it right now so that the customer will accept it.
_____ 2. “Don’t blame me. You did not explain the job clearly.”
_____ 3. “You must have been disappointed. What can I do to make it up to you?”
_____ 4. “Its not my fault. I thought I did what you asked me to do.”
_____ 5. “Gee! Guess I’ll have to try harder next time.”
_____ 6. This is the best ego state for the situation.
Answer:
1. C–adult
2. B–critical parent
3. A–sympathetic parent
4. E–adaptive child
5. D–natural child
6. A (adult), then C (sympathetic parent)
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Chapter 6: Dealing with Conflict
3. The manager assigned employees merit raises, which are supposed to be based on performance. An
employee comes to the manager to complain about not getting a higher merit raise. Identify the
transactional analysis (TA) ego state of each response, and then select the best response for the situation.
A. Supportive parent
B. Critical Parent
C. Adult
D. Natural Child
E. Adaptive Child
_____ 1. “I wanted to know why I didn’t get a larger merit raise?”
_____ 2. “I know it’s a real difficult job being the boss and that it must have been tough determining
merit. However, I think I desired a larger raise.”
_____ 3. “You were not fair giving me that merit raise. I’m a better worker than the two people who got
the largest raises?”
_____ 4. “Its your job to give objective and fair merit raises. So why didn’t you do it?”
_____ 5. “Bill got a larger merit raise than I did. Will you please explain what Bill does that I don’t so
that I can do better the next round.”
_____ 6. This is the best ego state for the situation.
Answer:
1. D–natural child
2. A–supportive parent
3. E–adaptive child
4. B–critical parent
5. C–adult
6. C (adult), then A (supportive parent)
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Chapter 6: Dealing with Conflict
SKILL BUILDING EXERCISE, SB-6.2
Assertiveness
Total time (5-30 minutes)
Select the time you want to allocate to this exercise and an option for its use. Option A may take about 5
minutes, unless students have several questions. Option B will vary with how much discussion you have
on the consequences of each alternative behavior. Option C can go for 30 minutes. Under option C you
can have them do more situations at a time, and only do some of them in groups.
RECOMMENDED ANSWERS FOR ASSERTIVENESS
a.
b.
c.
d.
e.
1.
G
P
A
P
G
2.
G
G
A
P
P
3.
A
G
P
G
P
4.
G
P
A
P
G
5.
P
A
G
G
P
6.
P
A
G
P
G
7.
A
P
G
P
G
8.
G
P
P
A
G
9.
P
G
P
A
G
10.
A
G
P
P
G
Note: The answers are in the SA Ex 6-2 grid.
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Chapter 6: Dealing with Conflict
SKILL ASSESSMENT OF SB 6-2
There are situations in the test bank similar to the 10 assertive situations in the text.
1. You have been asked out on a date by a coworker you are not attracted to. In fact, you don’t really like
the person. Below are possible actions you can take. Identify each action as Passive, Aggressive, or
Assertive. “Assertive” is considered the most appropriate action, so it should be selected only once.
A. Passive
B. Aggressive
C. Assertive
_____ 1. “Are you kidding me? I wouldn’t go out with you.”
_____ 2. “Sure, I’ll go out with you.”
_____ 3. “Don’t every ask me to go on a date or I’ll have you up on sexual harassment charges.”
_____ 4. “I’m sorry, but your not my type.”
_____ 5. “I’m sorry, but I’m busy that night.”
Answer:
1. B
2. A
3. B
4. C
5. A
2. Your boss asked you to sweep the floor. It is not part of your job and you have never done it before.
Below are possible actions you can take. Below are possible actions you can take. Identify each action as
Passive, Aggressive, or Assertive. “Assertive” is considered the most appropriate action, so it should be
selected only once.
A. Passive
B. Aggressive
C. Assertive
_____ 1. You say nothing and sweep the floor.
_____ 2. “It’s not part of my job. Shouldn’t someone else do it?”
_____ 3. “Do it yourself.”
_____ 4. “Are you kidding me? I don’t do floors.”
_____ 5. Do it, but complain to your manager’s boss about having to do it.
Answer:
1. A
2. C
3. B
4. B
5. A
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Chapter 6: Dealing with Conflict
3. You have been working closely with a customer to sell a good size order of parts for a week now. You
stopped by today, and the customer told you one of your competitors got the order. Identify each action
below as Passive, Aggressive, or Assertive. “Assertive” is considered the most appropriate action, so it
should be selected only once.
A. Passive
B. Aggressive
C. Assertive
_____ 1. Say nothing and leave.
_____ 2. “What? I’ve been working with on this one. How could you do this to me?”
_____ 3. You say, “I’m sorry to hear that,” and then leave.
_____ 4. “That’s not fair. Don’t expect to see me again.”
_____ 5. “Can you please tell me what happened? I thought you were interested in our parts.”
Answer:
1. A
2. B
3. C
4. D
5. A
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Chapter 6: Dealing with Conflict
SKILL BUILDING EXERCISE, SB-6.3
Using the XYZ Conflict Model
Total time (5-20 minutes)
Select the time you want to allocate to this exercise and an option for its use. Option A may take about 5
minutes, unless students have several questions. Option B will vary with how much discussion you have
on the consequences of each alternative behavior. Option C can go for 20 minutes. Under option C you
can have them do more situations at a time, and only do some of them in groups.
Possible Answers: You or your students may have better options.
A couple of key points to remind students of:

Maintain ownership; its your problem, not the other person’s.

You don’t give advice during the XYZ statement, you let the other person respond, the person may
have a good solution.
1. A coworker has asked you to go out after work for the second time. The first time you gave an
excuse for not being able to go, but you really don’t want to go out with this person. What would
you say?
X—This is the second time you have asked me out.
Y—Sorry, but I don’t go out with coworkers.
Z—But I am flattered that you asked me.
2. A coworker keeps coming to your work areas to socialize. You have been talking as long as the
person wants to. But, it is affecting getting your work done and you have had to stay late. What
would you say?
X—When you come and talk for long periods,
Y—I don’t get my work done and I have had to stay late a couple of time.
Z—I am pleased that you want to talk, but I want to get out on time.
3. A coworker has been taking it easy and not been doing his or her share of the work on your two
person assignment. You have had to do more than your share, and you don’t want it to continue.
What would you say?
X—You haven’t been doing your share of the work.
Y—As a result, I’ve had to do some of the work that you should be doing.
Z—I feel you are taking advantage of my willingness to help you.
4. A coworker has continued to interrupt another coworker friend of yours as he or she speaks. It
is upsetting you, and you have decided to talk to the interrupter privately about it. What would
you say?
X—I can’t help but notice that you have interrupted Chris speaking.
Y—Chris doesn’t get equal airtime.
Z—I don’t feel its fair to cut Chris off.
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Chapter 6: Dealing with Conflict
5. A coworker is playing music loud for the third time. You don’t like the music and it affects
your ability to concentrate. You haven’t said anything but you plan to now. What would you say?
X—You’re playing your music kind of loud.
Y—I’m having difficulty concentrating.
Z— feel uncomfortable working.
Skills Assessment of SB 6-3 in combined with SB 6-4, as it requires an XYZ statement.
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Chapter 6: Dealing with Conflict
SKILL BUILDING EXERCISE, SB-6.4
Initiating Conflict Resolution
Total time (30-50 minutes)
To keep the exercise to 30 minutes use groups of two rather than three. The responder can also be the
evaluator.
8:00
8:03
8:16
8:29
8:42
8:45
8:50
Recommended approximate times for a 50-minute period.
Procedure 1
3 minutes
"
2
13 "
"
3
13 "
"
4
13 "
Application
3
"
Conclusion and/or sharing
5
"
Times vary from class to class; my classes usually finish in 35-40 minutes. I have time to show video
module 7 Initiating Conflict Resolution, if I keep the discussion short (total time about 10 minutes).
Give them more time for procedures 2-4 if they need it, and have the application done out of class and/or
cut the conclusion and sharing times.
SKILLS ASSESSMENT OF SB 6-4 (QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS ALSO IN TEST BANK)
I tell students that they will be given a conflict situation. They will have to list the three steps of the
initiating conflict resolution model, but they need only make the planned opening XYZ statement
because you can only plan the opening, then respond to the other person. I go over an example format
using a student example conflict. You may read the instructions from the test questions below to the
class.
1. You have been bringing in snack food and drinks and putting them in the refrigerator at work.
Your coworker Chris has been taking them without asking. You don’t think it’s fair for Chris to
take your food and drinks.
Instructions:
Write the first step in the initiating conflict resolution model, followed by what you plan to say to Chris
as your XYZ statement. Be sure to label the X, Y, and Z parts of the statement. Then, list Steps 2 and 3
without any statement following the steps.
Answer:
Step 1. Plan to maintain ownership of the problem using the XYZ model.
(X) Chris, you have been taking my food.
(Y) I don’t get to eat it, but I have to pay for it.
(Z) I feel as though you are taking advantage of me.
Step 2. Implement your plan persistently.
Step 3. Make an agreement for change.
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Chapter 6: Dealing with Conflict
2. You and your coworker Chris clean up the work area, which is divided in two sections, about
once a week. The machine section is always dirtier and takes more work and time to clean. It
seems as though Chris always makes sure you get the machine section to clean, which you don’t
think is fair.
Instructions:
Write the first step in the initiating conflict resolution model, followed by what you plan to say to Chris
as your XYZ statement. Be sure to label the X, Y, and Z parts of the statement. Then, list Steps 2 and 3
without any statement following the steps.
Answer:
Step 1. Plan to maintain ownership of the problem using the XYZ model.
(X) Chris, when we clean up, it seems I always get the machine side to clean.
(Y) I get the dirty, longer job to do.
(Z) I feel as though you are taking advantage of me.
Step 2. Implement your plan persistently.
Step 3. Make an agreement for change.
3. Your roommate Chris is home earlier than you are so you eat your own food at different times.
For the past week every night Chris has not cleaned up. Dirty dishes are left in the sink, and pots
are left on the stove. You have to clean the pots before you can cook. You don't think it’s fair to
have to clean up before you can cook.
Instructions:
Write the first step in the initiating conflict resolution model, followed by what you plan to say to Chris
as your XYZ statement. Be sure to label the X, Y, and Z parts of the statement. Then, list Steps 2 and 3
without any statement following the steps.
Answer:
Step 1. Plan to maintain ownership of the problem using the XYZ model.
(X) Chris, when I get home, I find dirty dishes and pots.
(Y) I get stuck cleaning up before I can cook.
(Z) I feel as though you are taking advantage of me.
Step 2. Implement your plan persistently.
Step 3. Make an agreement for change.
Note: I include one test question worth about 7-10 points on exams. I generally give half credit for listing
the steps and half credit for the XYZ statement.
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