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Coherent features Sample Student Text
Thesis statement
and concise essay
map
Whilst the topic of sustainable development has been existent for many years, only recently
has the issue received widespread attention within Australian society. Although widely debated
and open to interpretation, sustainable development is perceived by the majority to mean
‘development that meets the needs of the present without compromising the ability of future
generations to meet their own needs’, (Brundtland Commission, ***). This essay supports the view
that sustainable development is not achievable in Australia, examining its ecological, economic
and social environments to argue that Australian society cannot foster sustainability.
Topic sentence
links to thesis
and introduces
first topic area
-ecological
Moving towards sustainable development requires the achievement of a healthy and stable human
society. Many facets of human life, either directly or indirectly, are dependent on environmental
quality (Beder, 1996, p.9). In recognition of this, several measures have been taken on both local
and national scales to improve the physical environment through community education and
cooperation, such as the annual Clean Up Australia Day and “Say NO to Plastic Bags” campaign.
Logical sequence
of paragraphs.
Continuing on
with ecological
arguments
Despite such activities, statistics accurately depict that the negative consequences of daily human
activities over bear any positive impacts these environmental strategies possess. For example,
Australia is the third-largest consumer of energy per person (Eamus, 2002). This data undermines
the efforts of state governments like Queensland to introduce and expand the use of renewable
sources of energy through implementation of rebate schemes (Qld EPA, 2004). Similarly, despite
the fact that recycling rates have improved following the efforts of local councils, most household
waste still goes to landfill than is recycled (ABS, 2003). Such information, along with statistics from
the NSW Parliament that reveal increasing trends in Australia’s production of pollution, salinity and
deforestation, suggests that sustainable development is not likely to be achieved in Australia.
Explicit links in
topic sentence
to previous
paragraphs.
Moves on to
second main topic
area - -economic
Another element of sustainable development is the pursuit of economic growth, which may be
defined as the improved material well-being of individuals. Economic growth is deemed important
to the achievement of sustainable development since only as the needs of a nation’s residents are
met may environmental concerns be addressed (Columbia University, n.d.). That is, only as people
obtain their requirements may resources be directed towards the achievement of sustainable
development.
Use of linking
word clearly
signals
relationship of this
paragraph with
previous one
Conversely, improved material well being is often accompanied by accelerated environmental
damage and depletion of natural resources. Increased standards of living often foster increased
consumption, and in order to meet non-essential wants and profit targets, environmental concerns
are often overlooked. According to Rae, despite predictions that the quality of Australia’s land,
water and biodiversity will continue to decline with business activities, Australia will only address
its environmental concerns when communities come under immediate impact or threat (2005).
Similarly, governments often neglect their environmental responsibilities in the pursuit of favourable
economic growth rates for trade and investment purposes. A prime example of this is the
Howard government’s refusal to ratify the Kyoto Protocol, which aims to reduce the emission of
greenhouse gases. Overlooking potential benefits to the environment, the Australian government
views the protocol as an impediment to the achievement of economic goals (Gittens, 2005). In
Australia’s increasingly consumer based, profit-driven society, such trends seem impossible to
reverse, hindering its ability to achieve sustainable development.
Topic sentence
clearly introduces
the third main
topic area: social
environment
The third principle of sustainability is social equity, which involves achieving an egalitarian society.
This principle is considered to be equally important “… since the well-being of individuals and
stability of society are crucial to creating a sustainable [country].” (Columbia University, n.d.) With
effective laws conferring the same rights upon all, and absence of dramatic racial, religious or
political divides and the existence of relative poverty as oppose to absolute poverty, Australia’s
social environment may facilitate the implementation of sustainable practices.
Introduction
Logical and
sequential
continuation of
discussion of
social issues
However, despite a relatively high GDP per capita, Australia suffers ecologically, a fact contrary
to a conclusion of the Brundtland Commission; that poverty is a major cause of environmental
problems (Beder, 1996, p.12). Alternatively, some claim that Australia’s environmental problems
stem from its population size, arguing that Australia’s current population over 20 000 000
(ABS, 2004) is living beyond its means. In order to achieve and maintain sustainability, it has
been suggested that Australia reduce its population size (Eamus, 2002). Similarly, it has been
argued that societal attitudes need to be altered so that society can adopt more environmentally
responsible behaviour. This change could come through education, which is deemed to be “…
critical for achieving … attitudes, skills and behaviour consistent with sustainable development…”
(UNESCO, 2002, p.2) However achieving such a change seems impossible amidst a culture of
consumerism and materialism, and as a result, Australian society may not be considered viable for
the achievement of sustainable development.
Conclusion clearly
restates thesis
As the Brundtland Commission into sustainable development concluded, a nation’s ecological,
economic and social environments are inseparable elements in striving to achieve sustainability
(Columbia University, n.d.). After examining these elements within an Australian context, it is
evident that the current pace of change towards sustainable behaviours has been inadequate, and
if we continue on at this speed, sustainability will be impossible to achieve. However, from the large
number of initiatives under way, it is evident that there are many individuals striving for a sustainable
world, and with increased integration of environmental, social and economic activities across
government, industry and community sectors, a sustainable future may be possible (NSW, Dept. of
Environment and Conservation, 2003).
Table 4: Sample student text from environmental science with coherent features highlighted