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Interpersonal Communication
Interpersonal Communication
Communication between two persons
that involves the sending and receiving of
messages with some effect and some
opportunity for feedback that leads to the
development of a variable relationship.
• Interpersonal communication is a
special form of unmediated human
communication that occurs when we
interact simultaneously with another
person and attempt to mutually
influence each other, usually for the
purpose of managing relationships.
Communication Principles
Appropriately
adapt your
message to
others
Be aware of your
communication
Listen and
respond
thoughtfully
to others
Effectively
use and
interpret
nonverbal
messages
Effectively use
and
interpret verbal
messages
Interpersonal Communication
Six Stage Relationship Model
•Contact--sense of perception of another person; decide whether you
want to maintain a relationship with this person
•Involvement--acquaintance; commit to getting to know the other
person and self-disclosing
•Intimacy--commit further to the relationship; reserved for very few
people
•Deterioration--bonds begin to weaken between parties in a
relationship; less time spent and more awkward exchanges
•Repair--attempts to save a relationship through interpersonal and
intrapersonal care
•Dissolution--cutting the bonds that tie a relationship; separate life
established apart from the other person
Chapter 7: Understanding Interpersonal Communication
Models of Self-Disclosure
The Social Penetration Model
Early in a relationship
Very
Intimate
Intimate
As the relationship develops
Very
Intimate
Superficial
Chapter 7: Understanding Interpersonal Communication
Initiating Relationships
• Interpersonal Attraction Defined
– degree to which you desire to form or
maintain an IP relationship
TWO STAGES OF ATTRACTION
• Short-Term Initial Attraction
– potential for development
• Long-Term Maintenance Attraction
– sustains relationships
Reasons for Relationship
Development
•Lessening loneliness
•Securing stimulation
•Acquiring self-knowledge
•Maximizing
pleasures/minimizing pains
Interpersonal Attraction
•Attractiveness--whether or not you want to get to
know the person; physical and personality
considerations
•Proximity--physical distance influences the
development of relationships
•Reinforcement--we like people who reward or
reinforce us
•Similarity--we generally like people who are similar to
us in nationality, race, physical characteristics,
intelligence, and especially attitudes and preferences
•Complementarily--people are attracted to dissimilar
others in certain situations
Relationship Deterioration
Gradual or sudden
May be advantageous
Why do relationships deteriorate?
Reasons for establishing relationship
have diminished
Third-party relationships
Relational changes
Communication during
deterioration
Undefined expectations
withdrawal
Work
decline in self-disclosure
Financial difficulties
deception
Inequitable distribution of rewards
and costs
Commitment--financial, temporal,
emotional
evaluative responses
request behaviors
favor exchange
Conflict Management
During interpersonal conflict, we are least likely to pause,
analyze the situation, and evaluate the strategies that might
prove most relevant.
Unproductive Conflict
Management
•Avoidance-actual, physical flight
•Non-negotiation-refusal to discuss or
listen to the other person
•Redefinition-recast the conflict so it
becomes a totally different issue
•Force-attempting to coerce a decision or
way of thinking through physical means
Conflict Management
Unproductive Conflict
Management
•Minimization-dealing with conflict by making light of it
•Blame-flight strategy that diverts focus from the issue
•Silencers-fighting techniques that silence the other (i.e. crying,
yelling, hyperventilating
•Gunnysacking-storing up grievances and then unloading them on
the person
•Manipulation-divert the conflict by being charming (disarming)
•Personal Rejection -withholding love and affection in an attempt
to break the other person
How do you manage conflict
effectively?
Fight above the belt
Take responsibility for
your thoughts and
feelings
Be direct and specific
Use humor for relief, not
ridicule
Conversational Competence
Managing Conversation
• Mindfulness
• Flexibility
• Cultural sensitivity
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Skills
Openness
Empathy
Positiveness
Immediacy
Interaction management
Expressiveness
Other-orientation