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Protecting Your Retirement & Other Financial Information for Family Caregivers: What Every Adult Child Should Know Chapter 6 Effective Communication is Essential Written by Dr. Celia Hayhoe, CFP®, Family Resource Management Specialist, Virginia Tech ©2005 National Endowment for Financial Education. All rights reserved. Funded by: Effective Communication is Essential • In most families, discussing financial matters is difficult. • Adding the additional issues that come with caregiving decisions, makes the discussion even harder. • This chapter gives communication tips for dealing with difficult topics. • See the companion Web site for more information. Before You Start • Turn off the television and the radio • Don’t start the conversation if you are rushed for time • Start off with positive statements to put everyone in a good mood • If you have difficulty communicating your feelings, you may want to write them down • Voicing your own planning concerns may open the door for discussing the concerns you have with the care receiver’s planning Tips • Take Time – You may have been thinking about the problem for awhile. Give others a chance to think things over. • Planning Ahead – It is much easier to discuss these issues if you are not in the middle of a crisis. – This way you can involve all family members including older children. Tips • Practice, practice, practice –It takes time to change old habits • Using a third party as illustrated in the video –When possible choose someone who specializes in elder-care issues Tips • Use “I” messages “I” message not “You” message I feel that you do not hear what I am saying. You never listen. I am upset that I have to perform most of mother’s caregiving because it is causing me problems at work. You never help with mother’s caregiving, or You have no idea of the problems I am having. I am worried about what would happen if you became ill since I live so far away. You need to make plans in case you get sick.