Download Creating and Maintaining Positive Relationships at Work

Creating and Maintaining
Positive Relationships at
Work
One Take on the Basics of
Communication
Communication to achieve
mutually satisfying solutions,
honour positive relationships
and foster respect. (assertive)
Communication that avoids
confrontation, criticism and
complaints at all costs – tends to
avoid getting involved or taking
action. (passive)
Communication that uses
manipulation e.g. whining,
yelling, pouting, screaming,
complaining, crying, getting
one’s feelings hurt.
(aggressive)
Communication designed to pay
someone back or teach someone
a lesson – avoids confrontation
but uses manipulation to get
even
(passive-aggressive)
Ideas taken from Life would be easy if it
weren't for other people
Some of my best advice about
working in a new (to you) school
• Observe and listen to the school culture, reflect
on what you can learn from it and how you can
contribute
• Be willing to do more following than leading in
your first year but don’t be a leech – contribute
positively to your environment
• Find a colleague (it doesn’t have to be in your
school) to whom you can turn when you have
questions or want to reflect on a situation
15 Most often used
strategies when
managing situations
1. Gather Pertinent
Information
Forewarned is forearmed
- Cervantes
Knowledge is power
-Francis Bacon
2. Defer Action
Fools rush in where angels fear to tread
-Alexander Pope
Timing is everything
-George Burns
3. Refuse to be baited
It takes two to make a fight
-Unknown
Fools bite one another, but wise men agree
together
-George Herbert
4. Compile a list of positive
responses to use during
uncomfortable discussions
Honey catches more flies than vinegar
-Franklin Praimanac
5. Learn to apologize
It takes a big person to say “I’m sorry.”
-Unknown
6. Listen to body messages
Fear is the beginning of wisdom
- Unknown
7. Develop a plan to get help
An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure
- Scammell
To be prepared for war is one of the most
effectual means of preserving peace
- George Washington
8. Get a grip
Think before you speak
- William Shakespeare
9. Be selective when speaking
Don’t open a can of worms
-Unknown
10. Recognize enemies and
dissenters
Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice, shame
on me
-Unknown
11. Speak Softly
Speak softly and carry a big stick
-Teddy Roosevelt
12. Develop listening skills
Listen, don’t just hear
- Unknown
13. Utilize credible witnesses
There is strength in numbers
-Unknown
14. Remain Detached
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names
will never hurt me
-Mother Goose
15. Move on
Don’t cry over split milk
- Andrew Yamanton
Don’t spit into the wind
- Jim Croce
Don’t let your heart rule your head
-Unknown
Red, Yellow, Green Cards
Nonviolent Communication
• Also called Compassionate Communication,
Mindful Communication, Conscious
Communication, Authentic Communication
• The goal is to generate a climate where
everyone’s needs can be considered equally.
• Used when there is an intention to make a
connection.
– Which means we may choose not to use it in certain
interactions.
Basic Premises of NVC
• All humans have the same needs, and all we are
ever trying to do, with our words and actions, is to
have those needs met.
• People are fundamentally compassionate, but we
have been trained to appreciate “violence”.
• Each person is responsible for their feelings, as
they are born out of their own needs. Each person
is responsible for getting their own needs met.
• It is possible to express ourselves authentically and
remain respectful of others.
The NVC Process
• OBSERVATIONS – the facts (actions, words,
gestures) that trigger a reaction in you. NOT
interpretations, evaluations, labels…
• FEELINGS – Your reaction to the observations
creates feelings in you. All feelings are linked to a need.
• NEEDS - Identify the need that is linked to the feeling.
Needs are universal, intangible, and intrinsic.
• REQUESTS – state how you will take charge of
meeting your needs, without making demands.
2-way Intention to Connect
Authentic Expression
I express my observation
I express my feeling
I express my need
I express my request
Empathic Listening
I receive your observation
I receive your feeling
I receive your need
I receive your request
Practice
• Visualize heading into the same old fight with
your partner or a family member
• A difficult conversation with a parent of a
student
• A chronic issue you have with a colleague
5 steps To Poor Listening
• Remember strategy 12?
• Jackpot! Read article and be ready to answer 5
questions about the article
Teaching Compulsory Courses
• Teaching compulsory courses is no different
from teaching other electives.
• 4-corners: strongly agree, somewhat agree,
somewhat disagree, strongly disagree
• Go to your corner and compile and chart a list
of reasons, and/or examples in your group.
• Post your list, then we will all do a walk about
and consider the other viewpoints.