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Family and Relationships Chapter 10: Skills for healthy relationships What is a relationship? • A bond or connection you have with other people. • Friendship- Significant relationship between two people that is based on caring, trust, and consideration • Citizenship- the way you conduct yourself as a member of the community. • Role- Part you play in a relationship. – Examples: • • • • Daughter or Son Sister or Brother Granddaughter or Grandson Others? For a relationship to succeed you must follow the 3 C’s: • Communication- your ways of sending and receiving messages • Cooperation- working together for the good of all • Compromise- A problem solving method that involves each participant’s giving up something to reach a solution that satisfies everyone. – When is a time you had to compromise? Characteristics of healthy relationships: • • • • Mutual respect and consideration Honesty Dependability Commitment What your character says about you • Character- the way you think, feel, and act. – Think about the people you spend most of your time with…typically they: • Similar values (beliefs and ideas) as you 6 traits to develop good character • • • • • • Trustworthiness Respect Responsibility Fairness Caring Citizenship Effective Communication • 3 communication styles: 1. Passive- inability or unwillingness to express thoughts and feelings • These people do NOT stand up for themselves or defend their attitudes or beliefs • Would rather do something they prefer not to do than voice their opinion • 2. Aggressive- often try to get their way through bullying and intimidation. – Do not consider the rights of others – In a disagreement they tend to attack the other person than the issue • 3. Assertive- Expressing thoughts and feelings clearly and directly, BUT without hurting others. – Stand up for themselves, defend their attitudes and beliefs. – Respect rights of others. Attack the problem not the other person. Speaking skills • Remember your: – Tone, pitch, loudness of your voice • Saying something nice but in a sarcastic way will most likely not be interpreted as nice. • Speaking loudly can be seen as being bossy or arrogant. • Not being firm enough when the situation calls for it can come off as unsure or insincere. – “NO” situation “I” message • -Statement in which a person describes how he or she feels by using the pronoun “I”. – What are some situations where you attacked someone instead of using an “I” message? • How could you have handled this differently? Listening Skills • Active Listening- Paying close attention to what someone is saying and communicating. Techniques for better active listening: • Reflective listening – Rephrase or summarize what the other person has said. • Clarifying – Asking the speaker what they think or how they feel about the situation being discussed. Asking questions to more fully understand what is being said. Techniques cont. • Encouraging – Encouraging the speaker by giving verbal and nonverbal cues (nodding your head, “uh huh”, “I see”) • Empathizing – Ability to imagine and understand how someone else feels. Tips for better active listening: • • • • Direct eye contact Leaning in toward the speaker Don’t interrupt the speaker Put away prejudices so you can focus on what they are saying. Non-verbal communication • Body Language- nonverbal communication through gestures, facial expressions, behaviors, and posture Communication barriers • Image and identity issues – Identity- A sense of who you are and what your place in the world is. • Unrealistic expectations Barriers cont. • Lack of trust • Prejudice- Unfair opinion or judgment of a particular group of people. – Practice tolerance- ability to accept others differences and allow them to be who they are without you expressing disapproval. • Gender stereotyping– Exaggerated or over simplified belief about a certain gender. Constructive Feedback • Constructive criticism- non-hostile comments that point out problems for the purpose of helping a person improve. Understanding Conflict • Interpersonal Conflicts- Disagreements between groups of any size, from two people to entire nations. – Come up with some conflicts you can think of…Big or small. Responding to a conflict • Two choices – Face it – Walk away from it Conflict Resolution • - is the process of solving a disagreement in a manner that satisfies everyone involved. • Negotiation- the use of communication and often compromise to settle a disagreement. Steps to prepare for negotiation • Make sure the issue is important to you • Check your facts! • Goal is to find a solution, not fight or prove who is “in control.” • Rehearse what you are going to say • Calm down your emotions before starting. Mediation Process • - Process in which specially trained people help others resolve their conflicts peacefully. • Confidentiality- Respecting the privacy of both parties and keeping details secret. Mediation cont. • Peer Mediators- students trained to help other students find fair resolutions to conflicts and disagreements.