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Chapter Three
Understanding Your
Communication
Style
Chapter Preview: Understanding Your
Communication Style
• Style bias and its effect on interpersonal
relations
• Benefits of understanding
communication styles
• Elements of communication style model
• Identifying preferred style
• Style flexing
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3-2
Communication Style
• Personality—thoughts, feelings, and
actions that characterize someone
• Communication style—patterns of
behavior that others can observe
Communication style is
an important aspect of personality
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Communication Style
• Understanding your style….
– achieve greater self-awareness
– develop more effective interpersonal
relations
– greater sensitivity to and tolerance for
others’ styles
– essential for managing key relationships
self
another person
member of a
group
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3-4
Fundamental Concepts
• Individual differences exist and are
important
– i.e., use of gestures, assertiveness
– each person has unique style
– identify by careful observation
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Fundamental Concepts
• Differences tend to be stable
– Jung’s Psychological Types
– born with disposition that is nurtured and
strengthened over a life
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Fundamental Concepts
• Limited number of general styles
– four basic styles
– similar characteristics within style
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Fundamental Concepts
• A way of thinking and behaving
– not an ability
– a preferred way of using abilities or style
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Fundamental Concepts
• Productive relationships are developed
by being in sync with others
– important advantage when understanding
others’
– called style flexing
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Communication Style Bias
• A common form of prejudice
• More likely if the other person has a
different style then yours
• Often not on the same “wavelength”
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What You Can Do?
• Develop an awareness of your own
style
• Learn to assess the style of others
• Learn when and how to adapt your own
style to theirs
• “Speaking the other person’s language”
is essential for relationship skills
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Total Person Insight
By knowing our own communicating
style, we get to know ourselves better.
And we get along with others better as
we develop the ability to recognize—
and respond—to their styles.
Paul Mok and Dudley Lynch
Human Resource Development Consultants
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3 - 12
Communication Style Model
• Two important dimensions of human
behavior:
– Dominance
– Sociability
• Remember: the style model describes
preferences, not skills or abilities
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The Dominance Continuum
• Dominance
– The tendency to display a “take-charge”
attitude
– an important dimension in interpersonal
relationships
• Everyone falls somewhere on the
dominance continuum
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The Dominance Continuum
Figure 3.1 Dominance Continuum
• more cooperative
freely
• eager to assist others
• less assertive
• more willing to be controlled
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• give advice
• initiate demands
• more assertive
• seek control
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Determining Your Preferred Style
• Step One:
– Identify where you fall on the dominance
continuum
• Rate yourself on the Dominance Indicator Form
• Ask four or five people who know you well to
complete it for you
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Figure 3.2 Dominance Indicator Form
Cooperative
I perceive myself as somewhat . . .
Competitive
Submissive
Authoritative
Accommodating
Domineering
Hesitant
Decisive
Reserved
Outgoing
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Figure 3.2 Dominance Indicator Form
(continued)
I perceive myself as somewhat . . .
Compromising
Cautious
Patient
Insistent
Risk taking
Hurried
Passive
Influential
Quiet
Talkative
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Figure 3.2 Dominance Indicator Form (continued)
Shy
I perceive myself as somewhat . . .
Supportive
Relaxed
Restrained
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Bold
Demanding
Intense
Assertive
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Where Should You Be?
• No best place to be
• Successful people can be found on all
points
• Both ends are necessary and important
at times
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Being Flexible Is Important
• Low on dominance
– more assertive temporarily to achieve an
objective
– learn to be responsive without giving up
convictions
• High on dominance
– curb strong opinions and limit demands to
establish cooperative relationships
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The Sociability Continuum
• Sociability
– tendency to seek and enjoy social
relationships
– measure of whether you tend to control or
express your feelings
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Figure 3.3
Sociability Continuum
Source: Gerald L Manning
and Barry Reece, Selling
Today: Creating Customer
Value, Ninth Edition,
Copyright © 2004. Adapted
by permission of Prentice-Hall
Inc., Upper Saddle River, NJ.
• expresses feelings
• open and talkative
• enjoys personal
associations
• controls feelings
• more reserved
and formal
in relationships
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3 - 23
Determining Your Preferred Style
• Step One:
– Identify where you fall on the dominance
continuum
• Step Two:
– Identify where you fall on the sociability
continuum
• Rate yourself on sociability indicator form
• Ask four or five people who know you well to
complete it for you
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Figure 3.4 Sociability Indicator Form
Disciplined
I perceive myself as somewhat . . .
Controlled
Easygoing
Expressive
Serious
Lighthearted
Methodical
Unstructured
Calculating
Spontaneous
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Figure 3.4 Sociability Indicator Form (continued)
Guarded
I perceive myself as somewhat . . .
Introverted
Aloof
Formal
Reserved
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Open
Extroverted
Friendly
Casual
Provocative
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Figure 3.4 Sociability Indicator Form (continued)
Cautious
I perceive myself as somewhat . . .
Conforming
Carefree
Unconventional
Self-controlled
Dramatic
Restrained
Impulsive
Source: Gerald L Manning and Barry Reece, Selling Today: Creating Customer Value,
Ninth Edition, Copyright © 2004. Adapted by permission of Prentice-Hall Inc., Upper
Saddle River, NJ.
Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.
3 - 27
Where Should You Be?
• No best place to be
• Successful people are everywhere
along the sociability continuum
• There are some commonsense
guidelines to follow if you fall at either
end of the continuum
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Being Flexible is Important
• Low sociability
– may need to be more expressive to avoid
perception of indifference or unconcerned
• High sociability
– may need to curb exuberance if more
formal environment is required
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Communication Styles Model
• The model represents four
communication styles:
– emotive
– reflective
director
supportive
• Two factors:
– dominance sociability
• Model will help identify your most
preferred style
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Figure 3.5
When the dominance
and sociability
dimensions are
combined, the
framework
for communication
style classification
is established.
Figure 3.5
Source: Gerald L Manning and Barry Reece, Selling Today: Creating Customer Value,
Ninth Edition, Copyright © 2004. Adapted by permission of Prentice-Hall Inc., Upper
Saddle River, NJ.
Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.
3 - 31
Figure 3.6
The emotive style
combines high
sociability and
high dominance.
Figure 3.6
Source: Gerald L Manning and Barry Reece, Selling Today: Creating Customer Value,
Ninth Edition, Copyright © 2004. Adapted by permission of Prentice-Hall Inc., Upper
Saddle River, NJ.
Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.
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Emotive Style
• Displays spontaneous, uninhibited
behavior
– Talks rapidly
– Uses lots of hand gestures
– Expresses views with enthusiasm
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Emotive Style
• Displays the personality dimension
described as extroversion
– Enjoys being with others
– Tends to be upbeat and active
– Likes informality
– Uses first names
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Emotive Style
• Possesses a natural persuasiveness
– Combination of high dominance and high
sociability
– Finds it easy to express point of view
dramatically or forcefully
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Figure 3.7
The director style
combines high
dominance
and low sociability.
.
Figure 3.7
Source: Gerald L Manning and Barry Reece, Selling Today: Creating Customer Value,
Ninth Edition, Copyright © 2004. Adapted by permission of Prentice-Hall Inc., Upper
Saddle River, NJ.
Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.
3 - 36
Director Style
• Projects a serious attitude
– Communicates a no-nonsense attitude
– Often gives the impression he or she
cannot have fun
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Director Style
• Expresses strong opinions
– Uses firm gestures and tone of voice
– Communicates determination
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Director Style
• May project indifference
– Finds it hard to abandon formal
approaches in dealing with people
– Not easy to communicate warm, caring
attitude
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Figure 3.8
The reflective style
combines low
dominance
and low sociability.
Figure 3.8
Source: Gerald L Manning and Barry Reece, Selling Today: Creating Customer Value,
Ninth Edition, Copyright © 2004. Adapted by permission of Prentice-Hall Inc., Upper
Saddle River, NJ.
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3 - 40
Reflective Style
• Expresses opinions in a formal,
deliberate manner
– Never seems to be in a hurry
– Expresses measured opinions
– Emotional control is a common trait
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Reflective Style
• Seems preoccupied
– Rather quiet
– Appears aloof or hard to get to know
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Reflective Style
• Prefers orderliness
– Uses and appreciates an agenda
– Enjoys reviewing details
– Likes to make decisions slowly
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Figure 3.9
The supportive style
combines low
dominance
and high sociability.
Figure 3.9
Source: Gerald L Manning and Barry Reece, Selling Today: Creating Customer Value,
Ninth Edition, Copyright © 2004. Adapted by permission of Prentice-Hall Inc., Upper
Saddle River, NJ.
Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.
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Supportive Style
• Listens attentively
– Good listening comes naturally
– Appears patient and caring
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Supportive Style
• Avoids the use of power
– Relies on friendly persuasion
– Likes to display warmth in written and
spoken communication
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Supportive Style
• Makes and expresses decisions in a
thoughtful, deliberate manner
– Appears low-key in decision making
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Identify Yourself?
• Nobody conforms completely to one
style
• Only one dimension of personality
• Only deals with behaviors that others
can observe
• May be able to identify the style least
like yourself
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Variation Within Your Communication Style
• Communication styles also vary in
intensity
• Model features zones that radiate
outward from the center
• These dimensions might be thought of
as intensity zones
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Variation Within Your Communication Style
• Boundary between zones not a
permanent barrier
• Under certain conditions, people will
abandon their preferred style
temporarily, a process called "style
flexing"
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Figure 3.10
Communication Style
Intensity Zones
Figure 3.10
Source: Gerald L Manning and Barry Reece, Selling Today: Creating Customer Value,
Ninth Edition, Copyright © 2004. Adapted by permission of Prentice-Hall Inc., Upper
Saddle River, NJ.
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3 - 51
Variation Within Your Communication Style
• Zone I
– Display unique behavioral characteristics
with less intensity
– May be more difficult to identify the
preferred communication style
– Not be as obvious in their gestures, tone of
voice, speech patterns, or emotional
expressions
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Variation Within Your Communication Style
• Zone 2
– Display behavioral characteristics with
greater intensity
– Can sometimes observe behavior change
when upset or angry
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Variation Within Your Communication Style
• Excess Zone
– Characterized by a high degree of intensity
and rigidity
– Can also be labeled the "danger" zone
– Often inflexible and displays a lack of
versatility
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Variation Within Your Communication Style
• Extreme intensity in any quadrant can
interfere with good human relations
• People may move into the excess zone
when:
– they are under stress or not feeling well
– they feel threatened or insecure
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Behaviors Displayed in the Excess Zone
• Supportive Style
– Attempts to win approval by agreeing with
everyone
– Constantly seeks reassurance
– Refuses to take a strong stand
– Tends to apologize a great deal
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Behaviors Displayed in the Excess Zone
• Director Style
– Is determined to come out on top
– Will not admit to being wrong
– Appears cold and unfeeling when dealing
with others
– Tends to use dogmatic phrases
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Behaviors Displayed in the Excess Zone
• Emotive Style
– Tends to express highly emotional opinions
– Is outspoken to the point of being offensive
– Seems unwilling to listen to the views of
others
– Uses exaggerated gestures and facial
expressions
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Behaviors Displayed in the Excess Zone
• Reflective Style
– Tends to avoid making a decision
– Seems overly interested in detail
– Is very stiff and formal when dealing with
others
– Seeks to achieve perfection
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Tips on Style Identification
• Focus on observable behavior
– The best clues are nonverbal:
•
•
•
•
Gestures
Posture
Facial expressions
Speech patterns
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Tips on Style Identification
• Determine where the person falls on the
sociability and dominance continuums
– Your initial impression should not be
carved in stone, but should be a continuing
process
– Different situations will bring out different
behaviors
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Versatility:
The Third Dimension
• Versatility
– acting in ways that gain a social
endorsement
– making others feel comfortable and
nondefensive
– independent of style and changeable
– can learn other styles
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Versatility and Style Flexing
• Style flexing
– deliberate attempt to change or alter style
to meet the needs of another person
– temporary effort to act in harmony with
other communication styles
– important in many occupations
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Total Person Insight
When we speak of interpersonal relationships
(as interaction involving at least two people),
we contend that no one can do much about
what we say and do. And because dealing
with others is such a major aspect of our
lives, if we can control what we say and do to
make others more comfortable, we can
realistically expect our relationships to be
more productive, or effective, ones.
David W. Merrill and Roger H. Reid
Authors, Personal Styles and Effective Performance
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Strategies for Adapting Your Style
• Identify the style of the other person
• Think of ways to flex your style to gain a
social endorsement
• Several style adaptation strategies…….
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Flexing to an Emotive Style
• Take time to build a social as well as a
business relationship
• Display interest in a person’s ideas,
interests, and experiences
• Do not place too much emphasis on
details
• Maintain a fast and spontaneous pace
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Flexing to a Director Style
• Be specific, brief, and to the point
• Present the facts logically and be
prepared to provide specific answers
• Maintain fast and decisive pace
• Project strength and confidence
• Messages should be short and to the
point
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Flexing to a Reflective Style
• Be well organized
• Be straightforward and direct
• Be accurate and realistic when
presenting information
• Messages should be detailed and
precise
• Speak slowly and systematically
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Flexing to a Supportive Style
• Show a sincere interest
• Identify areas of common interests
• Draw out other’s personal goals and
views
• Listen and be responsive
• Do not be pushy
• Put priority on relationship building
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Style Flexing: Pitfalls and Possibilities
• If sincere and honest, style flexing can:
– help build constructive relationships
– be a valuable and productive
communication strategy
– be especially critical when something
important is at stake
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A Word of Caution
• Do not label others
– classify strengths and preferences, not
people
• Do not let your own label become rigid
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Strength/Weakness Paradox
• There is no best communication style
– each has unique strong points
• People have problems when they
overextend the strengths of their style
• Customizing your style can require
learning to overcome your strengths
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Summary
• Communication styles
– patterns of behaviors, observable to
others
– tend to be stable throughout a person’s life
– unique to each person
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Summary
• Communication style bias
– problem in organizations
– barrier to good human relations
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Summary
• Communication Model
– Dominance
– Sociability
• Communication Styles
– Emotive
– Director
– Reflective
– Supportive
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3 - 75
Summary
• Style flexing and versatility are
important in dealing with varying
communication styles
• Keep an open mind about people
• Don’t use labels, typecast or judge
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