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CHAPTER SIX Communication Communication in Negotiation Communication processes, both verbal and nonverbal, are critical to achieving negotiation goals and to resolving conflicts. Negotiation is a process of interaction Negotiation is a context for communication subtleties that influence processes and outcomes What Is Communicated During Negotiation? Offers, counteroffers, and motives Information about alternatives Information about outcomes Social accounts • Explanations of mitigating circumstances • Explanations of exonerating circumstances • Reframing explanations Communication about process How People Communicate in Negotiation Selection of a communication channel • Communication is experienced differently when it occurs through different channels • People negotiate through a variety of communication media – by phone, in writing and increasingly through electronic channels or virtual negotiations • Social presence distinguishes one communication channel from another. the ability of a channel to carry and convey subtle social cues from sender to receiver How People Communicate Use of language • Logical level (proposals, offers) • Pragmatic level (semantics, syntax, style) Use of nonverbal communication • Making eye contact • Adjusting body position • Nonverbally encouraging or discouraging what the other says Communication skills Active listening Skillful questioning Paraphrasing Reframing Sending clear messages How to Improve Communication in Negotiation Use of questions: two basic categories • Manageable Cause attention or prepare the other person’s thinking for further questions: • “May I ask you a question?” getting information • “How much will this cost?” generating thoughts • “Do you have any suggestions for improving this?” How to Improve Communication in Negotiation Use of questions: two basic categories • Unmanageable questions Cause difficulty • “Where did you get that dumb idea?” give information • “Didn’t you know we couldn’t afford this?” bring the discussion to a false conclusion • “Don’t you think we have talked about this enough?” SKILLFUL QUESTIONING General – most open • What’s on your mind? • What can you tell me about this situation? • What happened? Opinion Seeking – open • What do you think would be fair? • What is most important to you? • What is your reaction to my proposal? Fact Finding – somewhat open • Who needs to approve this? • When is the deadline? • Where, What, When, How? SKILLFUL QUESTIONING Narrow Direct or Forced Choice – mostly closed • Did you tell me before it happened? • Will you be there before 5 o’clock? • Will you accept my version of the agreement w/o any changes? Leading – closed • Isn’t it true that there is no alternative? • Didn’t you say that it would be done without fail by Tuesday? How to Improve Communication Listening: three major forms 1. Passive listening: Receiving the message while providing no feedback to the sender 2. Acknowledgment: Receivers nod their heads, maintain eye contact, or interject responses 3. Active listening: Receivers restate or paraphrase the sender’s message in their own language Listening is Important and Powerful • Good listening is helpful in and of itself • Builds trust and rapport • Deescalates/calms • Creates clarity • Listening is a precursor to problemsolving • Feels like a “gift”--everyone wants to be heard What’s “Active” About It? • Requires work and concentration • Two-way Three ways of looking at Active Listening – Set of skills (e.g. open-ended questions) – Ability to focus/concentrate -- focused on all aspects of speaker’s communication, setting aside my own issues for the moment. – Attitudes (ideally): • I care what this person has to say • I’m sincerely curious about how this person sees things • I’m willing to withhold judgment and accept this person’s reactions, perceptions, feelings as legitimate. Active Listening Skills • • • • • Get the Story Probe / Clarify Meanings Listen for Emotions Summarize Value Silence PARAPHRASING Focuses on the experience of the speaker. Important because: • Lets speaker know s/he has been heard and understood • Receiver makes sure s/he gets it right • Gives the speaker an opportunity to assess the message and to modify it REFRAMING Redirecting, limiting, or shaping the perception of a message so that it is more constructive • Message may have negative dimension • May contains threat, insult or offensive language • For example, when the parties make their opening statements, their language is often adversarial and may be inflammatory Choose a positive interpretation • Removing unproductive language, emotion, position taking, and accusations. REFRAMING It is about changing perception by understanding something in another way. It is not about changing the facts or losing a thought’s fundamental meaning. REFRAMING Benefits: • Defuses anger and negative emotions. • Helps prevent escalation. • Keep the dialogue open. REFRAMING-There is an objective Reframing position to interest Reframing a problem to an opportunity Reframing a weakness as a strength Reframing a blame to a need Reframing a past to a future Reframing an individual problem to a shared problem REAL LIFE EXAMPLES When Tomas Watson Jr. was CEO of IBM, one of his executives had made some bad decisions that cost the company millions of dollars. Upon entering Watson’s office, the executive proclaimed, “I suppose after that set of mistakes you will want to fire me.” Watson was said to have replied, “Not at all, young man, we have just spent a couple of million dollars educating you.” REAL LIFE EXAMPLES When his factory burned down, Thomas Edison was reported to have commented, “There is great value in disaster. All our mistakes are burned up. Thank God we can start anew.” SENDING CLEAR MESSAGES Negotiators need to make sure they are understood Suggestions • Replace abstract concepts with concrete descriptions • Send I messages instead of You. • Accept personal responsibility for interpretation. Avoid placing blame and putting others on the defensive. How to Improve Communication in Negotiation Role reversal • • Negotiators understand the other party’s positions by actively arguing these positions until the other party is convinced that he or she is understood Negotiators realize that increasing understanding does not necessarily lead to easy resolution of the conflict Special Communication Considerations at the Close of Negotiations Avoiding fatal mistakes • Keeping track of what you expect to happen • Systematically guarding yourself against selfserving expectations • Reviewing the lessons from feedback for similar decisions in the future Achieving closure • Avoid surrendering important information needlessly • Refrain from making “dumb remarks”
