Download Boundaries

BOUNDARIES
AND HEALTHY
RELATIONSHIPS
AND PERSONAL SAFETY
AVAIL, INC.
WHAT DOES AVAIL DO?
WHAT IS A SAFETY PLAN
• A safety plan is a practical guide that
helps lower your risk of being hurt. A
good safety plan helps you think
through lifestyle changes that will help
keep you as safe as possible at school,
at home and other places that you go
on a daily basis.
PERSONAL SAFETY
• No one should be looking at or touching your bathing suit
area, or showing you theirs, unless they are keeping you:
• Clean
• Healthy or Safe
THINGS YOU CAN DO
• DON’T GO OUT ALONE.There is safety in numbers.This rule isn’t
just for little kids, it applies to teens, too.
• ALWAYS TELL AN ADULT WHERE YOU’RE GOING. Letting someone
know where you’ll be at all times is smart. If you’re faced with a risky
situation or get into trouble, your family and friends will know where to
find you.
• SAY NO IF YOU FEEL THREATENED. If someone—anyone—touches you
in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable, you have the right to say no.
Whether it is pressure about sex, drugs, or doing something that you
know is wrong, be strong and stand your ground
WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO HAVE A
HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP
• Relationships are about the interactions you have with people
everyday.
• Family
• Friends
• People at school
• When your able it could be boyfriend/girlfriend
• Neighbor, doctor, teacher
WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO HAVE A
HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP
• All of these relationships have an effect (positive or
negative) in your life.
• Some things healthy relationships can do
 Make you feel like you belong
 Increase your confidence
 Provides understanding, respect and care
 Guidance
THINGS THAT MAKE A HEALTHY
RELATIONSHIP
• Respect
• Trust
• Honesty
• Safety
• Equality
• Consistency
• Value
• Empathy
UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS
• Unhealthy relationships can cause distress, discomfort and take
away your self confidence.
• What are some signs of a Unhealthy Relationship?
• In an unhealthy relationship
• There is no communication
• One person tries to control
• Name calling
• Pushes, grabs, hits, punches
BOUNDARY PRINCIPLES
 What are Boundaries?
• Personal boundaries, just like the “No Trespassing” sign, define where you end and
others begin and are determined by the amount of physical and emotional space
you allow between yourself and others. Personal boundaries help you decide what
types of communication, behavior, and interaction are acceptable
 We each belong to ourselves
• I belong to myself-my body, my time, my feelings, my personal space, my thoughts, my spirit, all of
me. And other people belong to themselves.
 Some things are not a choice.
• My family, school, coach and/or employer have rules that I must follow. I can speak up but
I cannot always control what other people will think, feel, say or do. I can set boundaries,
leave or seek help if others harm my health or safety. I can always control whether a
situation or relationship at home, school, with friends or at work will get better.
BOUNDARY PRINCIPLES
Problems should not be secrets.
• Neither should touch, teasing, gift or favors.
Keep telling until you get help.
• Getting help can mean- asking the person who is
creating the problem to change his/her behavior;
talking to someone who is in a position of authority
to solve the problem; gathering with other people to
deal with the problem together; asking for personal
support from someone outside the situation
completely.
BOUNDARY PRINCIPLES
What makes it hard to set boundaries
• Internalizes beliefs: not worth it, have not right,
dangerous to say no, my role is to please others.
• Triggers: Emotions, behaviors, thoughts, and words
that cause us to explode with feelings.
• Longing to belong: wishing to be excepted, loved,
wanted or included by another person or group.
• Having a grown-up in the home where appropriate
boundary-setting was not allowed.
EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION
OF BOUNDARIES WITH
PEOPLE WE KNOW.
• Communication teach people to set boundaries by talking
about their own feelings, the other persons specific
behavior that is a problem for them, and the specific
behavior from the other person they want to see.
• Use I phrases
• Use Feeling phrases
EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION OF
BOUNDARIES WITH PEOPLE WE
KNOW.
• I feel
• When you- state specific behavior that is a problem for
you.
• Would you please
• Try and stay away from attacking phrases and “you never” or
“you always”
• i.e
• I feel frustrated when you interrupt and sound angry when I
try to explain a problem to you. Would you please listen to
me first and then tell me what you want to say in calm voice.
FOR YOU
• You have the right to your own personal boundaries/Space.
If you feel scared or uncomfortable around someone please
seek a trusted confidant.
• If you know someone who is scared or hurt, let them know
you are their for them. Listen to them, don’t judge, don’t
give advice.
ACTIVITY
• Relationship BINGO
• Go around the room and ask your classmates these
questions.
• Point of the game is to have healthy communication
between eachother.