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CH 9: Foundations of Interpersonal Communication (slide 1)
Copyright © 2013, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All Rights Reserved
Chapter 9: Foundations of
Interpersonal Communication
 Relationships are created and constructed by
individuals
 A single relationship actually contains
multiple relationships
 Relationships occur in stages developing
toward intimacy and dissolution
CH 9: Foundations of Interpersonal Communication (slide 2)
Copyright © 2013, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All Rights Reserved
Relationship Stages
1. Six stage model
Stage One: Contact – first impressions
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
Perceptual
Interactional
Stage Two: Involvement – sense of mutual connection
develops
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
Experimenting and testing
Increase time together
CH 9: Foundations of Interpersonal Communication (slide 3)
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Relationship Stages (cont.)
Stage Three: Intimacy – commit to establishing a
relationship; become a unit, an identifiable pair
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Talk about relationship
Share social networks
Interpersonal commitment
Social bonding
Stage Four: Relationship deterioration – weakening of
bonds
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
Intrapersonal dissatisfaction
Interpersonal deterioration
CH 9: Foundations of Interpersonal Communication (slide 4)
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Relationship Stages (cont.)
Stage Five: Repair
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
Intrapersonal repair
Interpersonal repair
Stage Six: Dissolution – breaking bonds; see selves as
individuals rather than two halves of a pair
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
Interpersonal separation
Social or public separation
CH 9: Foundations of Interpersonal Communication (slide 5)
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Relationship Stages (cont.)
 Exit arrows
 Vertical arrows
 Self-reflexive
arrows
CH 9: Foundations of Interpersonal Communication (slide 6)
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2. Movement in
the stages
3. Turning points
 Significant events
 Positive or negative
 Vary culturally
4. Relationship license
 Permission to break a rule
 Reciprocal or non-reciprocal
 Usually implied
CH 9: Foundations of Interpersonal Communication (slide 7)
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Relationship Stages (cont.)
1. Attraction theory
 Similarity
 Similarity principle
 Complementarity
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Proximity
Reinforcement
Physical attractiveness and personality
Socioeconomic and educational status
Reciprocity of liking
CH 9: Foundations of Interpersonal Communication (slide 8)
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Relationship Theories
2. Relationship rules theory
 Friendship
 Romantic
 Family
 What you can talk about
 How you can talk about something
 Who you can talk about it to
 Workplace
CH 9: Foundations of Interpersonal Communication (slide 9)
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Relationship Theories (cont.)
3. Relationship dialectics theory – tensions
between opposite motives or desires
 Open (see other people) and closed (exclusivity)
 Autonomy (independence) and connection
(intimacy)
 Novelty (new experiences) and predictability
(stability)
CH 9: Foundations of Interpersonal Communication (slide 10)
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Relationship Theories (cont.)
3. Relationship dialectics theory (cont.)
 Strategies to balance tensions
 Accept imbalance
 Exit relationship
 Rebalance your life
CH 9: Foundations of Interpersonal Communication (slide 11)
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Relationship Theories (cont.)
4. Social penetration theory – what you talk
about changes with level of intimacy
 Breadth – range of topics
 Depth – inner personality or core of person
 Depenetration – decrease sharing as a
relationship declines
CH 9: Foundations of Interpersonal Communication (slide 12)
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Relationship Theories (cont.)
5. Social exchange theory – maximize
relational profits
 Profit = cost – reward
 Reward – something it costs you to obtain (money,
status, love, information, goods, services)
 Costs – things you would normally avoid
 Profit – when you subtract the costs from the rewards
CH 9: Foundations of Interpersonal Communication (slide 13)
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Relationship Theories (cont.)
5. Social exchange theory (cont.)
 Comparison level – your idea or expectations of
what rewards you should get in a relationship
 Comparison level for alternatives – level of
rewards in current relationship compared to
another relationship
CH 9: Foundations of Interpersonal Communication (slide 14)
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Relationship Theories (cont.)
6. Equity theory
 Builds on social exchange theory
 Equitable relationship – your rewards equal your
partner’s
 Underbenefitted
 Overbenefitted
CH 9: Foundations of Interpersonal Communication (slide 15)
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Relationship Theories (cont.)
7. Politeness theory
 Two people develop a relationship when each
respects, contributes to, and acknowledges the
positive and negative face needs of the other and
deteriorates when they don’t
 Politeness relaxes as intimacy increases
CH 9: Foundations of Interpersonal Communication (slide 16)
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Relationship Theories (cont.)
1. Communicating in developing relationships
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Be nice
Communicate
Be open
Give assurances
Share joint activities
Be positive
Focus on self-improvement
Be empathic
CH 9: Foundations of Interpersonal Communication (slide 17)
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Relationship Communication
2. Communicating in deteriorating
relationships
 Communication patterns
 Withdrawal
 Decline in self-disclosure
 Deception
 Positive messages decrease and negative messages
increase
CH 9: Foundations of Interpersonal Communication (slide 18)
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Relationship Theories (cont.)
2. Communicating in deteriorating
relationships (cont.)
 Strategies of disengagement
 Positive tone to preserve relationship
 Justification to explain breakup
 Deception
 De-escalation to reduce intensity
CH 9: Foundations of Interpersonal Communication (slide 19)
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Relationship Theories (cont.)
2. Communicating in deteriorating
relationships (cont.)
 Dealing with a breakup
 Break loneliness-depression cycle
 Take time out
 Bolster self-esteem
 Remove uncomfortable relationship symbols
 Be mindful of your relationship patterns
CH 9: Foundations of Interpersonal Communication (slide 20)
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Relationship Theories (cont.)
3. Communicating in relationship repair
 Interpersonal repair
 R – Recognize the problem
 E – Engage in productive conflict resolution
 P – Pose possible solutions
 A – Affirm each other
 I – Integrate solutions into normal behavior
 R – Risk
CH 9: Foundations of Interpersonal Communication (slide 21)
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Relationship Theories (cont.)
3. Communicating in relationship repair (cont.)
 Intrapersonal repair
 Remember punctuation
CH 9: Foundations of Interpersonal Communication (slide 22)
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Relationship Theories (cont.)