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Communication skills help you converse with
others, resist negative peer pressure, and resolve
conflicts. These actions protect and promote
health.
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What You’ll Learn
1. Identify steps to follow to develop
interpersonal communication skills.
2. Discuss I-messages,
you-messages, mixed
messages, and active listening.
3. Discuss resistance skills.
4. Describe how to be self-confident and assertive.
5. Describe types of conflict, conflict response styles,
conflict-resolution skills, and the mediation process.
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Key Terms
• communication skills
• I-message
• you-message
• active listening
• peer pressure
• resistance skills
• assertive behavior
• conflict-resolution skills
• mediation
• prejudice
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How to Use Interpersonal
Communication Skills
1. Choose the best way to communicate.
– Your choices for how you communicate
with others are almost unlimited.
– How you communicate may
depend on what you are trying
to say.
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How to Use Interpersonal
Communication Skills
Choose the best way to communicate.
– To send a strong message you
may combine verbal and
nonverbal communication—
the use of actions or body
language to express emotions
and thoughts.
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How to Use Interpersonal
Communication Skills
Express your thoughts and feelings clearly.
– An I-message expresses your feelings or
thoughts on a subject.
– I-messages contain a
specific behavior or
event, the effect of the
behavior or event on
the person speaking,
and the emotions
that result.
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Example
"When you talk excessively in the class (student's
behavior), I feel frustrated (teacher's feeling)
because I cannot focus on the lesson being taught
and on the other students in the class (reason)."
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I feel _________________________________
(say your feeling)
when you _____________________________
(describe the action)
because _______________________________
(say why the action connects to your feeling)
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How to Use Interpersonal
Communication Skills
Express your thoughts and feelings clearly.
– A you-message is a statement that blames or
shames another person.
– A you-message puts
down another person
for what he or she
has said or done,
even if you don’t have
the whole story about
what happened.
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How to Use Interpersonal
Communication Skills
Mixed Messages
– Using I-messages is more effective than using
you-messages and helps maintain healthy
relationships with others.
– Avoid sending a mixed message—a message
that gives two different meanings.
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How to Use Interpersonal
Communication Skills
Listening Skills
– Maintain eye contact and
use gestures, such as
nodding your head, to
encourage conversation.
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How to Use Interpersonal
Communication Skills
Active Listening
– Active listening is the way you respond in
conversation to show that you hear and
understand what the speaker is saying.
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How to Use Interpersonal
Communication Skills
Techniques for Active Listening
• Clarifying a response Ask the speaker for
more information.
• Restating a response Repeat what you think
the speaker has said.
• Summarizing a response Summarize
the main idea the speaker has stated.
• Affirming a response State your appreciation
for what the speaker has said.
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How to Recognize Types of Peer Pressure
• Peer pressure can be positive.
– Positive peer pressure is influence from
peers to behave in a responsible way.
• Peer pressure can be negative.
– Negative peer pressure is influence
from peers to behave in a way that is
not responsible.
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Resistance Skills
• Resistance skills are skills that help
a person say “no” to an action or to
leave a situation that they feel or
know is dangerous or illegal.
• Resistance skills sometimes are called
refusal skills and can be used to resist
negative peer pressure.
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How Can You Be Self-Confident
and Assertive?
• When your behavior is self-confident and
assertive, you show others that you are in
control of yourself.
– Assertive behavior is the honest expression
of ideas, feelings, and decisions without
worrying about what others think or without
feeling threatened by the reactions of others.
– You clearly state your feelings or decisions
and do not back down.
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How Can You Be Self-Confident
and Assertive?
• Passive behavior
– Passive behavior is the holding back of
ideas, feelings, and decisions.
– People with passive behavior do not stand up
for themselves and lack self-confidence.
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How Can You Be Self-Confident
and Assertive?
• Aggressive behavior
– Aggressive behavior is the use of words or
actions that are disrespectful toward others.
– People with aggressive behavior threaten
others because they lack self-confidence.
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Conflicts
• A conflict is a disagreement
between two or more people or
between two or more choices.
• There are four types of conflict and
three conflict response styles.
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What to Know About Types of Conflict
• Intrapersonal conflict
– Any conflict that occurs within a person is
an intrapersonal conflict.
• Interpersonal conflict
– Any conflict that occurs between two or more
people is an interpersonal conflict.
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What to Know About Types of Conflict
• Intragroup conflict
– An intragroup conflict is a disagreement
between people belonging to the same group.
• Intergroup conflict
– An intergroup conflict is a disagreement
between two or more groups of people.
– The conflict may involve different
neighborhoods, schools, gangs, racial
groups, religious groups, or nations.
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What Is Your Conflict Response Style?
• Conflict response style
– A conflict response style is a pattern of
behavior a person uses in a conflict situation.
– The person may use
one or a combination of
conflict response styles.
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What Is Your Conflict Response Style?
• Conflict avoidance
– When using conflict avoidance, a person
chooses to avoid disagreements by not telling
others he or she disagrees with them.
• Conflict confrontation
– When using conflict confrontation, a person
attempts to settle a disagreement in a
hostile, defiant, and aggressive way.
– You believe your side of the story is the only one
worth considering.
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What Is Your Conflict Response Style?
• Conflict resolution
– Conflict resolution is a response style in
which a person uses conflict-resolution skills
to resolve a problem.
– Conflict-resolution skills are steps that can
be taken to settle a disagreement in a
responsible way.
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Mediation
• Mediation may be
used when people
have a difficult time
solving their differences.
• Mediation is a process in which an
outside person, or mediator, helps
people in conflict reach a solution.
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1.
List as many examples of nonverbal communication as
possible…
2.
Observe your clothing, appearance, and school supplies.
Which of these were influenced by peer pressure? Explain.
3.
Which of the tactics in the resistance skills model (p.47) may be
the most difficult to carry out in a real-life situation? Explain.
4.
Give an example for each of the following:
5.
–
intrapersonal conflict,
–
interpersonal conflict,
–
intergroup conflict
–
Intragroup conflict
Come up with a conflict situation/scenario. Explain how you
can react using assertive behavior, aggressive behavior, and
then passive behavior.
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Study Guide
2. Match the example to the type of conflict.
___
C intrapersonal conflict
A.
___
B interpersonal conflict
___
D intragroup conflict
___
A intergroup conflict
B.
C.
D.
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A player on your baseball team is hit by
a pitch thrown by the opposing pitcher.
You and your teammates think it was
intentional and vow to get even.
You believe your friend should pay for
dinner because you think he didn’t pay
last time. He disagrees and claims to
have paid the last time you were out.
You must choose between an apple
and an orange for a snack and you
want both.
Your group of friends has been asked
to play football. Some of your friends
want to play, others do not, but the
entire group is needed for a team.