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Health
Family first
Judy Bou Rosendo, 36, has six children aged between seven and 18.
She lives in Kingston upon Thames in Surrey with her partner, Pete.
and how to control it
Over 97%* of British women admit to feeling stressed,
and it’s no wonder considering how much we juggle
work, family and relationship commitments. Could we
manage it better? Our experts advise three women
whose stress levels are at a peak
WORDS Kim Sullivan PHOTOGRAPHS Ian Phillips-McLaren
‘Life is permanently hectic, and
there are times of the day when it
gets pretty fraught. The mornings
when the kids are going to school
are a nightmare, with some of
them cycling, some going on the
bus and me dropping the younger
ones off. It can be totally draining.
School holidays are the most
stressful because I don’t get a
‘When I have too much
to do my brain goes into
meltdown. I can’t think
straight or concentrate’
break. There are nonstop meals,
the children’s friends round, places
they need to be taken. On their
first day back at school I sit and
watch a film on my own to regain
my sanity. The quiet is lovely.
‘I’ve suffered from ME for 10
years, which makes life extra
stressful. I’ve always been a
high-energy person, so going
through periods of exhaustion is
totally counter to my personality.
It’s been better since I cut
out wheat, caffeine, sugar
and citrus fruit.
‘Sometimes when I have too
much to do my brain goes into
meltdown. It feels like cotton wool
and I just can’t think straight or
concentrate. When this happens I
go upstairs and sit quietly. I’ve
been known to lock myself in the
bathroom for a bit of peace!
‘I find it hard to sleep when
I’m tired and stressed. I wake in
the night and my head starts
whirling. When I reach overload I
get short-tempered with the kids,
then end up apologising. My
partner, Pete, is fabulous and
helps when he can, but he works
hard so often isn’t home until the
rush is over.
‘We’re a very sporty family and
I try to go swimming when I can. I
love going to my Spanish class
because it’s something just for me.
My way of de-stressing is to have
time to myself – curled up with a
book, seeing friends, or shopping,
but that’s not always an option
when time is at such a premium.’
Judy’s action plan
Dr Mariette Jansen
‘Judy would benefit from learning simple meditation to help her rest and
de-stress. There are several one-minute meditation practices she can do,
focusing on breathing or tensions in the body. Visualisation techniques
could also help to stop Judy from feeling overwhelmed. For instance,
imagine a chest of drawers, and starting with the job that takes the least
time, put it in the drawer and shut it out of your mind once it’s done.’
Our experts
Dr Mariette Jansen,
life coach
Dr Mariette Jansen is
a qualified life coach
and counsellor. She
specialises in techniques
to help reduce stress in people’s lives,
such as talking therapies based on
traditional psychotherapy and positive
psychology, breathing, meditation
and inner dialogue. She teaches
mindfulness and meditation and
has been working with individuals
and groups since 2004 (stressfree
coaching.co.uk).
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Sainsbury’s magazine
Amelia Freer,
nutritional therapist
Amelia studied at the
Institute for Optimum
Nutrition, and is
director of nutrition at
SP&Co, a health and fitness company
in Chelsea, London. Experienced in
all areas of nutrition therapy, Amelia
helps clients change their diets to
improve their health by offering
practical and motivational advice and
support. Amelia also advises a range
of high-profile clients and magazines
on nutrition (freernutrition.com).
Kelly Marshall,
fitness expert
Kelly has a masters
degree in Sport and
Exercise Medicine
and has worked as a
fitness expert, personal trainer and
sports massage therapist for over
10 years. Kelly works for Sainsbury’s
Diets and writes for a range of
publications. She is also director
of The Body Project, a clinic that
provides expertise on ways to
optimise fitness, health and wellbeing
(thebodyproject.net).
Amelia Freer
‘Judy should boost her diet with energy foods containing B vitamins,
such as rye, quinoa, buckwheat and corn. Fruits and vegetables such as
berries, kiwi, peppers and potatoes provide vitamin C to help increase
energy. She would also benefit from having a snack of houmous and
oatcakes before bed. A little protein with a slow-release carbohydrate
will keep blood sugar levels stable which may prevent Judy waking.’
Kelly Marshall
‘Judy should make time for a quick metabolic-booster bodyweight
workout to release stress and recharge. Try a continuous mini circuit
at home doing 2-3 exercises that use lots of muscle groups, such as floor
bridges, squats, lunges and press-ups. She could also put music on when
doing household chores and work out to that. Yoga and Pilates are
both powerful ways to achieve physical and mental relaxation, too.’
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115
Work/life balancing act
Dealing with divorce
‘I’ve always worked hard and
enjoyed demanding jobs, and am
highly organised, however under
pressure I feel. I have targets to
meet and am responsible for
developing new business while
keeping a close relationship with
existing clients. The key cause of
my stress is trying to stay on top
of my job while single-handedly
looking after my son. I put extra
pressure on myself because I want
to give him all the time I have
when I’m at home, but that leaves
me no time to relax, as I tend to
finish off work when he’s asleep.
‘There are certain times when
the pressure at work really piles
on because I have to go abroad
to film festivals and markets
to meet clients and arrange
meetings to create new business.
It’s extra stressful preparing for
these as I have to deal with
clients while arranging childcare
for my son, who I hate leaving. In
the build-up to a work trip I often
can’t sleep and feel exhausted
‘I have just been through an
incredibly stressful two-year
divorce, which involved trying to
track down my ex-husband who
disappeared seven years ago,
shortly after our daughter was
born. After two years of hell,
during which time I thought I
would lose my house and my
family be made homeless, it has
all been sorted out. The worry
of this, along with serious
financial problems, have upped
my stress to unbearable levels.
I can’t really remember what it’s
like not to be stressed and find
it almost impossible to relax.
It got to the point where I
couldn’t cope, and was
prescribed antidepressants – I
hope to stop taking them soon.
‘I know it’s not good for me or
the family. It certainly affects my
youngest child, eight-year-old
Lilimay. She becomes more
demanding when I’m stressed
and tired, then I end up getting
angry and shouting. It’s not
fair and I know she should be
Celine Rotterman, 38, is a single mother who juggles a demanding job
as an international account manager for Variety, the entertainment
business trade paper, with caring for her four-year-old son.
before I even get there.
‘In some ways having my son
has made me learn to control my
stress because I hate feeling
stressed around him, but then I
‘The key cause of my
stress is trying to stay
on top of my job while
looking after my son’
internalise worries a lot more.
I can muster the energy I need
for work but am often run-down
afterwards and tend to get ill
with a bug or flu. I also have
sciatica, which is worse when
I’ve been stressed at work.
‘I’m lucky to have a very
understanding boss. I also switch
off my BlackBerry at weekends,
which makes a big difference.
There’s nothing worse than your
child asking when you’re going to
stop working because you’re on
your BlackBerry in the park.’
‘I thought I would lose
my house and my family
would be made homeless’
in a happier environment. I get
very tired, have headaches and
problems sleeping, and go off
food when I’m stressed, so my
energy levels plummet.
‘I do some practical things to
help reduce stress, like writing
my thoughts down to get them
out of my head. This can help,
but my body feels wound up like
a spring much of the time. I hardly
ever feel I can just let go and say,
“I can relax today.”
‘Absorbing myself in something
that’s out of my routine really
helps. I’ve learnt sugarcraft, and
actually find making the delicate
leaves of a flower relaxes me.
‘I know some stress can be
positive – it’s helped me manage
the bad times – but it’d be great
if it wasn’t a big part of my life
and I could get it under control.’
Sue’s action plan
Dr Mariette Jansen
‘Celine needs to find ways to offload her stress. Smiling is good as
it relaxes your facial muscles and we tend to experience the emotion
that goes with the expression. Breathing exercises can help too. Breathe
in through your nose for a count of four, pushing your tummy out, then
hold the breath for a count of seven and breathe out through your
mouth for a count of eight until your lungs feel completely empty.’
Dr Mariette Jansen
‘It would help if Sue tried to turn her stress and tension into relaxation.
She should stand up, shake her hands and feet, then make long strokes
on both arms from pit to hand and her legs from top to feet. It moves the
stressed energy away and livens up the body and mind. Learning the
“power of now” will also help. When Sue’s stressed she should tell herself
that in the “now” she’s enjoying a cup of tea, and that’s all that matters.’
Kelly Marshall
‘Just 30 minutes of fairly vigorous activity a day could help reduce
Celine’s stress, whether it’s playing with her son in the park or doing an
exercise DVD. This will help her to cope with current stress and supply
some immunity against future stress. Sitting at a computer for long
periods combined with stress can cause muscle pain such as sciatica.
Core training and balanced strength training will help to prevent this.’
Sainsbury’s magazine
HAIR AND MAKE-UP: LUCY POOK. *FIGURE TAKEN FROM TWININGS RESEARCH
Celine’s action plan
Amelia Freer
‘Celine should always take a good stash of healthy snacks, such as fruit
and nuts or healthy snack bars, when she’s travelling to avoid blood
sugar lows and having to rely on junk food, which lacks nutrients. By
increasing antioxidant-rich foods such as tomatoes, green leafy
vegetables, nuts, seeds, berries, oily fish and carrots in her diet she’ll
help support her immune system to prevent frequent colds.’
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Sue Best, 48, is a divorced mother of four and works part-time as an office assistant
at a local glazing company. She lives in Middlesex.
Amelia Freer
‘Dehydration can worsen stress and cause mood swings, so Sue should
aim to drink lots of water, and replace caffeine, fizzy drinks and alcohol
with herbal teas and non-caffeine drinks. Sue should also avoid long
periods without food as this can lead to low energy and mood. Sticking
to regular meals and not eating carbohydrate foods on their own will
help. Mixing carbs with protein will keep Sue’s blood sugar levels stable.’
Kelly Marshall
‘Regular exercise will help Sue tackle chronic stress by decreasing the
production of the stress hormone cortisol and increasing endorphins, the
“feel good” hormones. Exercise involving a change of scenery, such as
swimming, will help take Sue’s mind off her problems. Martial arts,
weight training and boxing are all excellent outlets for frustration,
helping to reduce negative emotions and release internalised stress.’