Download Section Grammar Lectures

Section Grammar Lectures
Examples for this lecture come from sources including A Pocket Style Manual by Diana Hacker,
Writing Smart published by Princeton Review, and Substance and Style by Mary Stroughton.
Please do not reproduce this material without giving credit to these sources.
Ten things to look for when editing your paper
1. Clear sentences
2. Coherent paragraphs
3. Transitions
4. Redundancy
5. Consistent point of view
6. Sentence variety
7. Proper pronouns
8. Grammar
a. subjects and verbs in agreement
b. parallel sentences
c. proper use of commas, colons, etc.
9. Active tense
10. Closure
1. Does this sentence convey its idea clearly?
Think of the reader – fine tune your sentences to make them say exactly what you mean
a. Look for modifier problems. Think of the modifier phrase as a giant adjective – when a
sentence opens with a modifier the subject must immediately follow.
Poor: Walking to class, a car hit Holly.
Better: Walking to class, Holly was hit by a car.
b. Read the sentence carefully and make sure words are not missing or misplaced
Poor: He found my wallet walking by the river.
Better: He found my wallet as he was walking by the river.
Poor: The robber was described as a tall man with a mustache weighing 150 pounds.
c. Don’t try to sound to scholarly
In 1996 physicist Alan Sokal published an article entitled “Transgressing the Boundaries:
Toward a Transformative Hermeneutics of Quantum Gravity.” Because the title sounded
“academic” the magazine “Social Text” took it seriously and published the article. But
the entire article was fake. It illustrated the meaninglessness of some academic jargon.
Always use simple words whenever possible. For example,
commence – begin
endeavor – try
finalize – finish
facilitate – help
Poor: If managers have adequate input from their subordinates they can effectuate more
viable decisions.
Better: If managers listen to their workers they can make better decisions.
d. Do not use slang.
Poor: People can get high off a joint.
Better: Marijuana has intoxicating effects.
e. Avoid using sexist language. * Always think of the exceptions.
Poor: All doctor’s wives are invited to the party.
Poor: All women desire a husband and children.
2. Does each sentence flow from the previous one?
Say something about outlines and transition exercise ???
Take your draft and underline all the topic sentences for each paragraph. Make sure all of the
topic sentences relate to the other sentences in the paragraph.
Also, read the sentences that you underlined to see if the order of the paragraphs make sense.
It the topic sentences don’t flow then you have a problem with organization.
Be careful when you use quotes. Don’t just plug in a quote without providing context.
Explain what the quote means. Use signal phrases to introduce the quote.
3. Does each paragraph proceed smoothly?
Use transition sentences to connect paragraphs. Ask yourself whether this is the logical way
you would discuss the issue if your were talking to a friend. For instance, it wouldn’t make
sense to discuss the treatment of a disorder before you define the symptom.
4. Are any words or sentences unnecessary to the whole?
a. Look for sentences the mean the same thing.
Sometimes students string together several similar sentences to create a paragraph.
Poor: Divorce is a breakup of a marriage. It occurs when a husband and wife decide to
separate. The married couple breaks the bond of matrimony. One or both partners
moves out of the house. The couple splits up. They end their marriage contract.
* Don’t say the same thing 5 different ways. Also try to avoid using common knowledge
and cliches.
b. Delete extra words
Write too much and then cut out the unnecessary stuff.
Poor: The scientific endeavor in general depends on essentially true and fully accurate
data if it is to offer any ideas and theories that will actually allow mankind to advance
forward into the future in a safe and cautious way.
Better: The scientific endeavor depends on accurate data if it is to offer any theories that
will allow humankind to advance safely.
Poor: These various different agencies and offices that provide aid and assistance
services to individual persons who participate in our program activities that we offered
have reversed themselves back from the policy that they recently announced to return to
the original policy that they followed earlier.
Better: The various agencies that assist participants in our program have reversed the
recently announced policy to return to the previous one.
5. Is the point of view consistent?
If you start with a singular subject continue to use a singular subject throughout the
paragraph.
Poor: Everyone has an ice-cream flavor they think is best.
Better: Everyone has an ice-cream flavor he or she thinks is best.
Poor: A police officer is often criticized for always being there when they are not needed
and never being there when they are needed.
Better: Police officers are often criticized for being there when they are not needed and
never being there when they are needed.
* Watch out for stereotypes. For example,
A police officer is often criticized for always being there when he is not needed and never
being there when he is needed.
While this sentence is grammatically correct, it assumes the police officer is male. To fix the
sentence write he or she or make the sentence plural.
6. Is there a variety of sentence structure?
Maintain a good rhythm. Read your paper aloud to yourself. It should flow.
Tighten wordy sentences – frustrating
Combine choppy sentences – boring
Vary sentence structure – after a couple of long sentences write a short sentence to keep the
reader interested
Don’t begin each sentence or paragraph the same way.
Poor:
According to Smith, blah blah blah
According to Jones, blah blah blah
According to Meyer, blah blah blah
Better:
If genetic factors are considered, blah blah blah
If environmental factors are considered, blah blah blah
If family is considered, blah blah blah
7. Are pronouns used properly?
Don’t overuse words like “that,” “which:” and “it.” Try the sentence without these words
and see if it makes sense.
Keep in mind that “it” or “they” may be unclear to the reader.
Remember it’s = it is
Poor: In the article it states that
Better: The article states
Poor: Sometimes a list of ways to save energy is included in the gas bill. For example, they
suggest setting a moderate temperature for the hot water heater.
Better. Sometimes a list of ways to save energy is included in the gas bill. For example, the
gas company suggests setting a moderate temperature for the hot water heater.
that versus which
that – limits meaning, restrictive, no commas
which – adds meaning, nonrestrictive, commas
Examples:
1. The corporation, which has its factory in California, manufactures tennis
shoes.
2. The corporation that has its factory in California manufactures tennis shoes.
In example number one the writer is giving extra information that is not necessary to the
meaning of the sentence. The reader could take out the phrase within the commas and
the main point would still be conveyed. The corporation, which (by the way) has its
factory in California, manufactures tennis shoes. The main point of this sentence is that
the corporation manufactures tennis shoes. The location of the factory is not important.
In example number two the writer is specifying which factory manufactures tennis shoes.
The main point of the sentence is that it is the factory in California that manufacture
tennis shoes and not, for instance, the factory in Illinois or the factory in Oregon. In this
context the words “in California” are necessary to convey the meaning of the sentence.
* Take out the phrase within the commas and see if the sentence still makes sense.
For extra information – use which.
For necessary information – use that.
8. Is each sentence grammatically correct?
a. Make sure subjects and verbs agree.
* Subjects connected by “and” are plural.
* When subjects are connected by “or” or “nor” make the verb agree with the subject
closer to the verb
Examples:
1. Jill’s natural ability and her desire to help others have led to a career in the
ministry
2. Neither the professor nor his assistants were able to solve the problem.
3. Neither the assistants nor the professor was able to solve the problem.
*Singular subjects take singular verbs.
Example:
The slaughter of pandas for their pelts has caused the panda population to decling
Slaughter is singular so verb must also be singular.
b. Pay attention to parallelism
All elements in the sentence should sound the same.
Poor: I like biking, running, and movies.
Better: I like biking, running, and watching movies.
Poor: The manager’s duties were the coordination of the production and to write the
executive summary.
Better: The manager’s duties were to coordinate the production and to write the
executive summary.
c. Don’t misuse colons, commas, and parenthesis
Review Hacker.
As a general rule it is better to leave out commas.
All punctuation comes after parenthesis.
9. Did you use active tense?
If your sentences are long and unruly, try using active tense.
Avoid boring verbs like “is” “was” “were” and “are” whenever possible.
Passive tense: The bill was signed by Clinton.
Active tense: President Clinton signed the bill.
The second sentence emphasizes the act of signing.
Passive tense: I was told to get out by Frank.
Active tense: Frank told me to get out.
* Ask yourself who or what is performing the action and move that person or thing to the
beginning of the sentence.
Poor: A national network of technical assistance providers will be organized by the
companies.
Better: The companies will organize a national network of technical assistance providers.
* Make nouns verbs whenever possible.
Poor: A discussion in this paper will ensue…
Better: This paper discusses…
10. Is there closure?
Make sure your paper does not end abruptly.
FINALLY, DON’T FORGET TO CHECK APA.