Download Relationships: Friends, Spouses, Family

13: Inter-Act,
th
13
Edition
Intimate
Relationships
1
Intimacy
• A pattern of self-disclosure and
supportive messages between partners
• May have many friends, but only a
handful of intimate relationships
• Intimacy resides in the “inter-action”
between partners.
2
Intimate Conversations
• Emotional disclosures: reveal sensitive, private,
and personally risky information, signaling a desire for
intimacy
• Mutual understanding: comprehending your own
and your partner’s point of view
• Warm feelings: positive feelings you have about
yourself and your partner during and immediately after an
interaction
• Verbal and nonverbal messages signal closeness.
3
Intimate Relationship
Relationship in which partners share
regular intimate interactions, feel
affection for each other, trust each
other, and are cohesive
Mutual Affection
Trust
Cohesiveness
4
Family
A network of people who share their
lives over long periods of time bound
by ties of marriage, blood, or
commitment, legal or otherwise, who
consider themselves a family, and who
share a significant history and
anticipated future of functioning in a
family relationship (Galvin, Bylund, & Brommel, 2003)
5
Common Family Structures
Traditional
•2 oppositesex parents
•Married
•Children
Single-Parent
•1 parent lives
with children
•1 parent not
present, may or
may not be
actively parenting
SharedCustody
•Divorced
parents
•Children
switch
residences
CommonLaw
•2 oppositesex parents
•Unmarried
•Children
Gay and Lesbian
Extended
•2 same-sex
•Multiple
partners
generations of
related people
•Children
living together
Blended
•2 adults
•1 or more
children from
previous
relationships
Communal
•Cooperative
living
arrangement
among
unmarried
people
6
Parent–Child Communication
• Nurturing parental communication: parental
messages that encourage a child’s physical,
social, emotional, and intellectual development
• Controlling parental communication: parental
messages that attempt to influence or regulate a
child’s behavior
Good parenting requires a balance of nurturing and
controlling messages.
7
Infant Attachment Styles
Secure
•Worthy of care
•Others are
trusted to
provide care
Anxious-Ambivalent
Avoidant
•Not worthy of care
•Worthy of care
•Others cannot be
•Others not
trusted to provide care trusted to provide
care
8
Adult Attachment Styles
Secure
•High selfworth
•Trusts
others
Preoccupied
•High self-worth
•Low trust in
others
Fearful
•Low selfworth
•High trust in
others
Dismissive
•Low selfworth
•Low trust in
others
9
Providing Discipline
• Permissive parenting style: moderate to high
levels of nurturing but little control over
children’s behavior
• Authoritarian parenting style: high levels of
control with low levels of nurturing
• Authoritative parenting style: firm control
balanced with ample nurturing
10
Improving Family
Communication
• Create opportunities for intimate
communication.
• Respect individual interests and
accomplishments.
• Recognize and adapt to change.
11
Friendships
• Voluntary, platonic relationships
characterized by equality and
reciprocity
• Likely to form between people who have
frequent contact and similar
demographic traits and engage in the
same activities
12
Male–Male
Relationships
Female–Female
Relationships
• Relationships are
based on shared
activities.
• Talk about topics
rather than feelings
• Use covert intimacy
to show closeness:
• Conversations focus
on topics as well as
relationships.
• Intimacy is based on
mutual selfdisclosure of
feelings, secrets,
and insights.
• Mild insults
• Competition
• Put-downs
13
Intimate Relationships
Platonic
Relationship
Romantic
Relationship
Partners are not
sexually attracted
to each other or
choose not
to act on their
attraction
Partners do
act on their
sexual attraction
to each other
14
Types of Long-Term
Committed Relationships
• Traditional – share a traditional ideology
but maintain some independence, engage
in conflict
• Independent – share an ideology that
embraces change and uncertainty, but are
interdependent and engage in conflict
• Separate – share traditional ideology, but
are independent and avoid conflict
15
Characteristics of
Intimate Relationships
• Mutual respect: treating each other
with dignity
• Presence of a shared plan or life
vision: agreeing on long-term goals
• Comfortable level of closeness:
spending a mutually satisfying amount
of time with each other
16
Keys to Successful
Long-Term Relationships
Microsoft Photo
• Show your affection.
• Use symbols and rituals to display
your commitment.
• Talk about sex.
17
The Dark Side of
Intimacy
• Relational uncertainty – feeling of doubt
about the nature of the relationship
– Unsure if relationship is platonic or romantic
– Concern about future
– Tension between closeness and separation
• Possessiveness – desire to control
another person to ensure exclusivity
– Caused by jealousy
– Can occur in platonic and family relationships
as well as romantic ones
18
Digital Communication
Skills
• Media multiplexity: using more than one
form of social media to communicate in
relationships
• Strong social media ties: friends, romantic
partners, and family members
• Weak social media ties: casual contacts
loosely connected to social networks
19
Initiating Relationships
Online
• Social Information Processing (SIP)
theory explains how relationships
evolve online.
• Revealing and seeking personal
information reduces uncertainty.
• Online relationships require more
time to develop.
• Digital interaction can be intense and
overly intimate (hyperpersonal).
20