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Writing Level 4 Worldwide Interactive Network, Inc. 1000 Waterford Place, Kingston, TN 37763 • 888.717.9461 ©2008 Worldwide Interactive Network, Inc. All rights reserved. Copyright © 1998 by Worldwide Interactive Network, Inc. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Printed in the U.S.A. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, photocopying, recording or otherwise without the prior written permission of Worldwide Interactive Network, Inc. ACT™ and WorkKeys® are trademarks of ACT, Inc. Worldwide Interactive Network, Inc. is not owned or controlled by ACT, Inc.; however, ACT, Inc. has reviewed these training materials and has determined that they meet ACT, Inc.’s standards for WorkKeys Training curriculum. The WorkKeys employment system is a product of ACT, Inc. The use of materials in this manual does not imply any specific results when WIN materials are used with the ACT WorkKeys system. Requests for permission to reproduce or make other use of this material should be addressed to: Worldwide Interactive Network, Inc. 1000 Waterford Place Kingston, Tennessee 37763 USA Tel: (865) 717-3333 Fax: (865) 717-9461 [email protected] www.w-win.com 2 • Writing INTRODUCTION Hello, I’m EdWIN! HI!! It’s me again, EdWIN. You are about to begin Level 4 of Writing. Now, if you have become acquainted with me before, you already know that I am not too hard of a task master. I don’t carry a whip around or anything, so don’t think you are about to be tortured. Let me ease your mind about what this level is all about. We are specifically concerned with the skills necessary to communicate effectively with others as they relate to the workplace. We won’t be trying to write something akin to Great Expectations! In the Levels 1, 2, and 3, we covered many of the basics of writing. In this level, we will do some review and introduce several new topics. Now, don’t worry if you have just started working with me in this level. It is my goal, as always, to be the best guide I can be to help you develop your writing skills to the point that you can go into any workplace situation with confidence. Working together, I know we can succeed. So, without further ado, let’s begin ... are you ready? OK, then, turn the page. Writing • 3 OUTLINE LESSON 1 The Basics LESSON 2 Conjunction Review LESSON 3 Audience and Purpose LESSON 4 Clear and Concise LESSON 5 Writing and Revising LESSON 6 Formal and Informal LESSON 7 Listening and Writing LESSON 8 Paragraph Development LESSON 9 Proofreading and Peer Editing LESSON 10 REFERENCE 4 • Writing Posttest Test-Taking Tips LESSON 1 THE BASICS This section provides an overview of basic rules and practices of grammar. It is a review of WIN Writing Levels 1, 2, and 3. If you complete this lesson and feel you need more practice in these areas, I would recommend reviewing these levels before continuing in Level 4. Let’s get started and see how you do. RULES FOR CAPITALIZATION Almost nothing is more confusing, time consuming and frustrating than trying to read a note, memo or letter that does not use proper capitalization. Capital letters denote importance of a particular word and also enable the reader to recognize main words in sentences at a glance. In other words, it makes a specific word stand out from the rest. All proper nouns (names or persons, places, or things) are capitalized. Also, the first word in a sentence is always capitalized whether it is a proper noun or not. Other words that are capitalized include: • The pronoun, I. • The first, last, and important words in a title of a song, book, magazine, etc. • Names of a relationship when they are part of or a substitute for a person’s name. It is not capitalized if a possessive pronoun precedes it. (Example: We visited Granddaddy over the holidays. We visited my granddaddy over the holidays.) Writing • 5 LESSON 1 Prepositions, articles, and conjunctions are not capitalized unless they are the first or last word of a title. Never capitalize a term of endearment. (Example: Don’t get mad, honey, I was only kidding.) COMPLETE SENTENCES Complete sentences allow us to present a clear and complete idea through our writing. Sentence fragments are sometimes used intentionally and effectively in creative writing or advertising, but for the workplace setting they are not generally acceptable. A complete sentence will always contain at least a subject and a verb, and in most cases an object. The object gives further information and is usually essential in getting across the point, but it is not integral to making a complete sentence. Look at these examples: I baked. (contains a subject and verb, but doesn’t give much information) I baked cakes. (contains a subject, verb, and object, giving us an important detail) Both examples are complete sentences. The other basic rules of sentence construction concern capitalization and punctuation. All sentences begin with a capital letter and all sentences end with a period, question mark, or exclamation point. 6 • Writing LESSON 1 When writing, proofread your work and ask these simple questions: 1. Is there a subject and verb? 2. Does each sentence begin with a capital letter? 3. Does each sentence have ending punctuation? If you can answer “yes” to each of the above questions, then all of your sentences are complete and correct in form. COMMAS, RUN-ON SENTENCES, AND SENTENCE FRAGMENTS The Unnecessary Comma A common mistake many people make when writing sentences is using commas too frequently. When you talk, your voice pauses, rises, and adds other emphasis to your words. When you write, punctuation marks tell the reader when to pause or add certain emphasis to words. The comma’s main purpose is to show a pause in the writing, allowing the reader to grasp or clarify an idea before going on to the next part of the sentence. Many times, writers will use too many commas, which will break up a thought or main idea, making it unclear and hard to interpret. Writing • 7 LESSON 1 The Unnecessary Comma - Example: We drove the van, through two states, before we reached our final destination. Notice that the quote, “through two states”, has been set apart in this sentence by commas. By doing this, the writer implies that the reader should pause when reading the sentence. This makes the sentence awkward to read. Now read the corrected version. Example: We drove the van through two states before we reached our final destination. This is much easier to interpret. Unnecessary commas are a common error in writing. Unfortunately, most of us tend to overuse commas, intending to be creative and entertaining towards our audience. Instead, all we succeed in doing is confusing them! 8 • Writing LESSON 1 COMMA SPLICES Comma splices are also common errors. This is where you incorrectly use a comma to join two independent clauses. These can be easily corrected. Examples: Comma Splice: I went to the mall, I went to the grocery store. Correct by adding a conjunction: I went to the mall and I went to the grocery store. Correct by adding a period: I went to the mall. I went to the grocery store. Correct by adding a subordinating clause. After I went to the mall, I went to the grocery store. There are many ways to correct comma splices, so be on the lookout for these in your writing. Writing • 9 LESSON 1 Run-on sentences are very easy to spot. We covered run-on sentences in Writing Level 3 and we said they are sentences that just go on and on and never end causing the reader to quickly lose the main idea of the sentence because by the time he has finished reading it he has already forgotten what the beginning was and the he has to go back and start all over again trying to figure out what the writer was trying to tell him in the first place and he just gets so frustrated because he doesn’t have time to read the sentence over and over again because he has other work to do and just doesn’t want to fool with it anymore. Need I say more? Naturally a sentence like the one above should be avoided at all times. Break up a long sentence by making it into several sentences. You can combine short sentences or thoughts with coordinating or subordinating clauses to provide more interesting reading. Too many simple sentences promote boring reading, so a combination of simple, compound, and complex sentences is the best construction. Remember the “read it yourself ” rule. If it sounds too long or spliced, rewrite it. 10 • Writing LESSON 1 Fragmented sentences are also easy to spot. They usually are missing one or more parts and they do not convey a clear idea. You can avoid this mistake by simply reading it yourself and making the necessary corrections. Fragmented sentence: Argue with umpires. This is a fragmented sentence because there is no subject. Complete sentence: Baseball players argue with umpires. Let’s practice what we’ve reviewed. Writing • 11 LESSON 1 EXERCISE – COMMAS, RUN-ON SENTENCES, SENTENCE FRAGMENTS, AND COMMA SPLICES Instructions: Circle 3 problems in this paragraph. Look for incomplete sentences, run-on sentences, fragments, and comma splices. Rewrite them correctly in the space below. Transitional words and expressions are used to help lead the readers from one thought to another. A transitional word or expression simply shows. How ideas relate to one another. They are like a bridge that connects two sides of a river, they help you get from one idea to another in a sentence. They also bridge ideas, within paragraphs and between paragraphs. Transitions help create flow and direction in a letter or report. They keep the document moving logically and clearly and keep the reader’s attention. 1 -__________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ 2 -_________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ 3 -__________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ 12 • Writing LESSON 1 This page was intentionally left blank. Writing • 13 LESSON 1 EXERCISE – COMMAS, RUN-ON SENTENCES, SENTENCE FRAGMENTS, AND COMMA SPLICES Solution: The 3 problems are corrected and underlined. Transitional words and expressions are used to help lead the readers from one thought to another. A transitional word or expression simply shows how ideas relate to one another. They are like a bridge that connects two sides of a river they help you get from one idea to another in a sentence. They also bridge ideas within paragraphs and between paragraphs. Transitions help create flow and direction in a letter or report. They keep the document moving logically and clearly and keep the reader’s attention. 14 • Writing LESSON 1 COMMONLY MISSPELLED OR MISUSED WORDS Misspelled and misused words can cause your message in business writing to be ineffective and incorrect. When writing, it is important to ensure the words you choose are appropriate to meaning and clarity. Since there are many, many words that can be used or spelled incorrectly, I will not attempt to list them all here. I will give you a list of some of the most common ones, though, a little later in our text. Many times the words are simply homonyms, and you have used the incorrect spelling, which, of course, will then carry a completely different meaning. Take the words who’s and whose. Who’s going to the mall? Whose books are these? Who’s is the contraction for who is and whose is possessive for who. See how mixing up these two words could throw off your entire message? The best way to avoid these types of mistakes is to be sure of the meaning that you are trying to convey in any message. Then, having this firmly in mind, you can check each spelling in the dictionary to confirm the proper word to use. Since the meanings and spellings of these words are always different, it will be pretty easy to spot them if they do not fit the context of your message. Always check the following words during the proofreading and editing phase of your work. Writing • 15 LESSON 1 Here is a list of commonly misused words: Common Homonyms all ready canvas capital cite course complement compliment council desert holy principal sale stationary stationery their throne weak weather whose 16 • Writing already canvass capitol sight coarse counsel dessert wholly principle sail there thrown week whether who’s Troublesome Words accept access adverse site advice affect allusion breath elicit eminent holey faith have sell its lie loose they’re moral personal quiet sit than their to were who’s your except excess averse advise effect illusion breathe illicit imminent fate of it’s lay lose morale personnel quite set then there too where whose you’re they’re two LESSON 1 You may remember all of the spelling rules, or you may not! I know I have trouble with them from time to time. So, for review, we will briefly discuss them. Rule 1 Use i before e, Except after c, Or when sounded like a As in neighbor or weigh. Example: friend, fiend piece, tie receipt, deceive Of course, there are always exceptions to most rules and the exceptions to the above verse are these: ei exceptions: either, foreign, forfeit, height, leisure, and neither ie exceptions: ancient, efficient Rule 2 Form the plurals of nouns and the s forms of verbs ending in y in these ways: a. When a noun or verb ends in y preceded by a consonant, change the y to i and add es. Example: mystery to mysteries; berry to berries; carry to carries b. When a word ends in y preceded by a vowel, add s. Writing • 17 LESSON 1 Example: boy to boys; key to keys; pay to pays c. When a proper noun ends in y, add s. Example: Kennedy to Kennedys Rule 3 Do the following when adding a suffix to a word that ends in a silent e. a. When the suffix begins with a vowel, drop the silent e. Example: live to living or livable; bake to baker or baking b. When a word ends in ce or ge, keep the silent e when it is needed to maintain the soft sound of c or g. Example: manage to manageable Exceptions to this rule are: judge to judgment acknowledge to acknowledgment Rule 4 When adding a suffix that begins with a vowel, it sometimes is necessary to double the consonant. a. When a one-syllable word ends with a consonant preceded by a single vowel, double the consonant: This applies only when the suffix begins with a vowel. 18 • Writing LESSON 1 Examples: hop to hopping win to winner star to starred b. When a word of two or more syllables ends in a single consonant preceded by a single vowel, and when the final syllable is accented, double the consonant when adding a suffix. Examples: rebel to rebellious control to controlled c. When a word of two or more syllables does not have the accent on the final syllable, the consonant should not be doubled. Example: travel to traveler shovel to shoveler Rule 5 To form noun plurals and the third person singular form of present tense verbs: a. In most cases, add s Examples: pencil to pencils jump to jumps b. When the word ends in s, sh, ch, x, or z, add es. Examples: brush to brushes box to boxes watch to watches Writing • 19 LESSON 1 COMMONLY MISSPELLED WORDS A absence absorption abundance accessible accidentally acclaim accommodate accomplish accumulate achievement acquaintance across address advice/advise aggravate allotted a lot all right already amateur analysis/analyze angel/angle annual apparent appearance argument atheist attendance auxiliary B balloon barbiturate bargain basically beggar beginning believe benefited biscuit bouillon boundary breadth/breath breathe Britain buoyant bureaucracy business C calendar camouflage cantaloupe capital/capitol cemetery chagrined challenge/challengeable characteristic changing chief choose/chose cigarette climbed colonel colossal column coming committee commitment comparative competent completely concede conceive condemn condescend conscience conscientious consciousness consensus consistent continuous controlled coolly corollary correlate correspondence council/counsel counselor courteous courtesy criticize 20 • Writing LESSON 1 D deceive defendant deferred definitely dependent/dependant descend desirable despair desperate develop developed development dilemma dining disappearance disappoint disastrous discipline disease dissatisfied dominant drunkenness environment equipped equivalent especially exaggerate exceed excellence exhaust exhilarate existence expense experiment explanation extremely exuberance F fallacious fallacy familiar fascinate February fictitious fiery finally financially forcibly foreign foresee forfeit formerly forty fourth fulfill fundamentally G gauge generally genius government governor grammar grievous guarantee guard guerrilla guidance H handkerchief happily harass height heinous hemorrhage heroes hesitancy hindrance hoarse hoping humorous hypocrisy hypocrite E easily ecstasy efficiency eighth eligible embarrass eminent enemy entirely Writing • 21 LESSON 1 I ideally idiosyncrasy ignorance imaginary immediately implement incidentally incredible independent indicted indispensable inevitable inoculate insurance intelligence intercede interference interpret interrupt introduce irrelevant irresistible island judicial judgment license lieutenant lightning likelihood likely literally loneliness loose lose luxury M magazine maintain maintenance manageable maneuver marriage mathematics medicine medieval millionaire miniature minor minutes mischievous missile misspelled mortgage mosquito mosquitoes murmur muscle mysterious N narrative naturally necessity neighbor neither neutron niece ninety ninth noticeable nowadays nuclear nuisance J jealousy jewelry K knowledge L laboratory legitimate leisure length lenient 22 • Writing LESSON 1 O obedience obstacle occasionally occurred occurrence official omission omit omitted opinion opponent opportunity oppression optimism ordinarily origin outrageous overrun P panicky parallel parliament particularly peaceable peculiar penetrate perceive performance permanent permissible permitted perseverance persistent physical physician picnicked piece pitiful planning playwright possessive potato potatoes practically prairie precede preceding predominant preference preferred prejudice preparation prescription prevalent primitive principle privilege probably procedure proceed process professor prominent pronounce pronunciation propaganda prophecy/prophesy psychology publicly pursue questionnaire quizzes really recede religious remembrance reminiscence repetition representative resemblance receipt receive reservoir resistance restaurant rheumatism rhythmical roommate Q quandary quarantine R realistically realize recognize recommend reference referred relevant relieving Writing • 23 LESSON 1 S sacrifice safety salary satellite scenery schedule secede secretary seize separate sergeant several shining simile simply sincerely skeptical skiing soliloquy sophomore souvenir specifically specimen sponsor spontaneous statistics stopped strategy strength strenuous stubbornness subordinate subtle succeed succession sufficient summary supersede suppress surprise surround susceptible suspicious syllable symbol symmetrical synonymous T tangible technical technique temperature tenant tendency than/then their/there/they’re themselves theories therefore thorough though through till tomorrow tournament tourniquet tragedy transferred truly twelfth tyranny unnecessary until usage usually vengeance vigilant village villain violence visible U unanimous unconscious undoubtedly V vacuum valuable varies 24 • Writing LESSON 1 W warrant weather/whether Wednesday weird XYZ yacht yield wherever wholly whose/who’s woman women writing written your/you’re zoology Writing • 25 LESSON 1 NOUNS A noun is the name of a person, place, or thing. There are two types of nouns: proper nouns and common nouns. A proper noun names a specific person, place, or thing. For example, Charles Bronson, Buckingham Palace, and the Democratic Party, are proper nouns. These are almost always capitalized. Common nouns name everything else and they are usually not capitalized. Cat, chair, computer, dress, and truck are just a few common nouns. PARTS OF SPEECH PRONOUNS Pronouns are substitutes for nouns. They change form according to their function. Some examples of pronouns are: he/him them you we/us her/she it I/me/mine everyone They provide the ability to avoid clumsiness and redundancy in sentences. When you are speaking, you do not repeat a person’s name over and over in a sentence or group of sentences because it quickly becomes awkward and bulky. For example, if I were to tell you, “Sam went hunting and Sam shot a deer. ”That’s awkward and very unnecessary. A better way would be “Sam went hunting and he shot a deer.” He is a pronoun that serves as a substitute for the noun Sam. 26 • Writing LESSON 1 EXERCISE – NOUNS AND PRONOUNS Instructions: Underline or circle the NOUNS in the following sentences. 1. Brandon is the manager of the shoe department. 2. He works long hours at the store. 3. Sharon walks her dog at least once a day. 4. Joe ran for class president but they did not elect him. 5. A red mustang convertible is her favorite car. Instructions: Underline or circle the PRONOUNS in the following sentences. 6. He works long hours at the store. 7. Sharon walks her dog at least once a day. 8. Joe ran for class president but they did not elect him. 9. A red mustang convertible is her favorite car. Writing • 27 LESSON 1 ANSWERS TO EXERCISE – NOUNS AND PRONOUNS 1. Brandon is the manager of the shoe department. Answer: 2. He works long hours at the store. Answer: 3. her Joe ran for class president but they did not elect him. Answer: 9. He Sharon walks her dog at least once a day. Answer: 8. convertible, car He works long hours at the store. Answer: 7. Joe, president A red mustang convertible is her favorite car. Answer: 6. Sharon, dog, day Joe ran for class president but they did not elect him. Answer: 5. hours, store Sharon walks her dog at least once a day. Answer: 4. Brandon, manager, department they, him A red mustang convertible is her favorite car. Answer: 28 • Writing her LESSON 1 PRONOUN PROBLEMS Using pronouns for simple substitutions of nouns is pretty easy to understand. However, there are certain pronouns that tend to cause a tremendous amount of difficulty when trying to determine the correct way to use them in a sentence. Some of the more difficult pronouns to work with include that and which; it’s and its; you’re and your; who’s and whose; who and whom; everybody and nobody; and their, they’re, and theirs. The following page has a few rules to help you when faced with one of these dilemmas. That or Which? Look at the following two sentences: Nobody enjoys being around a child that cries all the time. Or Nobody enjoys being around a child which cries all the time. Which sentence is correct? This is a common problem that most people have trouble with. Here are two rules to help you figure out when to use “that” or “which”. Writing • 29 LESSON 1 Rules for which vs. that: 1. If you can drop the clause and not lose the point of the sentence, use which. If you can’t, use that. 2. A which clause goes inside commas. A that clause doesn’t. Nobody enjoys being around a child that cries all the time. Or Nobody enjoys being around a child which cries all the time. The point of the sentence is that people don’t like being around a child that cries all the time. If we removed the that or which clause, look what happens to the sentence. “Nobody enjoys being around a child.” The sentence misses the point without the clause. Since it can’t be dropped from the sentence without losing the point, use that. Correct: Nobody enjoys being around a child that cries all the time. It’s or Its Knowing when to use it’s and its gives many people problems. Often, when a word has an apostrophe, it is possessive. However, apostrophes can also represent when something has been omitted, like in contractions. It’s is a contraction for it is. Its is the possessive form. The rule to remember when trying to determine when to use it’s and when to use its is simple: If you can substitute it is, use it’s. 30 • Writing LESSON 1 Who’s or Whose? This is very similar to the it’s or its problem. Remember, who’s is short for who is and whose is the possessive form. If you can substitute who is, use who’s. You’re or Your? This is another example of a possessive form versus a contraction. You’re is short for you are and your is the possessive form. If you can substitute you are, use you’re. Who or Whom? Who and whom are another pair that provides a tremendous amount of confusion. A good rule to remember is that who does something (it’s a subject) and whom has something done to it (it’s an object, like him). A good way to help distinguish between who and whom, is to ask who is doing what to whom. Writing • 31 LESSON 1 EXERCISE – IDENTIFYING THE CORRECT PRONOUNS Instructions: Choose the correct word to complete the following sentences. 1. Sam’s collie, (which, that) has one bent ear, won first place in the dog show. a. which b. that 2. (Its, It’s) suppose to be an easy problem. a. Its b. It’s 3. (Your, You’re) my favorite cousin. a. Your b. You’re 4. The package is for (who, whom)? a. who b. whom 5. There’s the dog (that, which) won the Frisbee competition. a. that b. which 6. (Who, Whom) is your favorite teacher? a. Who b. Whom 32 • Writing LESSON 1 7. Morris is a cat (that, which) knows what he likes. a. that b. which 8. He is the man (who, whom) wanted the job. a. who b. whom 9. (Who’s, Whose) tools are on my workbench? a. Who’s b. Whose 10. James is working for (who, whom)? a. who b. whom Writing • 33 LESSON 1 ANSWERS TO EXERCISE – IDENTIFYING THE CORRECT PRONOUNS Instructions: Choose the correct word to complete the following sentences. 1. Sam’s collie, (which, that) has one bent ear, won first place in the dog show. a. which b. that Answer: 2. (Its, It’s) suppose to be an easy problem. a. Its b. It’s Answer: 3. a b (Your, You’re) my favorite cousin. a. Your b. You’re Answer: 4. The package is for (who, whom)? a. who b. whom Answer: 5. b b There’s the dog (that, which) won the Frisbee competition. a. that b. which Answer: 34 • Writing a LESSON 1 6. (Who, Whom) is your favorite teacher? a. Who b. Whom Answer: 7. a Morris is a cat (that, which) knows what he likes. a. that b. which Answer: 8. a He is the man (who, whom) wanted the job. a. who b. whom Answer: 9. a (Who’s, Whose) tools are on my workbench? a. Who’s b. Whose Answer: b 10. James is working for (who, whom)? a. who b. whom Answer: b Writing • 35 LESSON 1 VERBS Verbs show action, occurrence, or existence (state of being). The verb’s job is to convey what is going on in the sentence. I am a singer. The crowd cheered after her performance. There are two kinds of verbs: action verbs and linking verbs. An action verb shows something being done or an action of some kind. A linking verb shows state of being and links or connects the subject to its object. Verbs can be more than one word. A helping verb works with the main verb. A main verb is the most important verb. The helping verb adds more information to the main verb. Here are some rules for using helping verbs: 1. When the helping verb is am, is, are, was, or were, the main verb ends in ing. 2. When the helping verb is has, have, or had, the main verb often ends in ed. 36 • Writing LESSON 1 EXERCISE – ACTION AND LINKING VERBS Instructions: Answer the following questions. 1. What is the verb in the following sentence? Mr. Johnson teaches math at St. Paul’s High School. a. b. c. d. 2. Johnson teaches math at In the following sentence, is the verb “teaches” an action verb or linking verb? Mr. Johnson teaches math at St. Paul’s High School. a. action b. linking 3. What is the verb in the following sentence? Sam is the leading pitcher for the team. a. b. c. d. Sam is leading for Writing • 37 LESSON 1 4. In the following sentence, is the verb “is” an action verb or linking verb? Sam is the leading pitcher for the team. a. action b. linking 5. What is the verb in the following sentence? Allison scored the most goals in Saturday’s soccer game. a. b. c. d. 6. scored most in soccer In the following sentence, is the verb “scored” an action verb or linking verb? Allison scored the most goals in Saturday’s soccer game. a. action b. linking 7. What is the verb in the following sentence? Samantha is a computer programmer. a. is b. computer c. programmer 38 • Writing LESSON 1 8. In the following sentence, is the verb “is” an action verb or linking verb? Samantha is a computer programmer. a. action b. linking 9. What is the verb in the following sentence? They were the only people in the office. a. b. c. d. They were only in 10. In the following sentence, is the verb “were” an action verb or linking verb? They were the only people in the office. a. action b. linking Writing • 39 LESSON 1 ANSWERS TO EXERCISE – ACTION AND LINKING VERBS Instructions: Answer the following questions. 1. What is the verb in the following sentence? Mr. Johnson teaches math at St. Paul’s High School. a. b. c. d. Johnson teaches math at Answer: 2. b In the following sentence, is the verb “teaches” an action verb or linking verb? Mr. Johnson teaches math at St. Paul’s High School. a. action b. linking Answer: 3. a What is the verb in the following sentence? Sam is the leading pitcher for the team. a. b. c. d. Sam is leading for Answer: 40 • Writing b LESSON 1 4. In the following sentence, is the verb “is” an action verb or linking verb? Sam is the leading pitcher for the team. a. action b. linking Answer: b 5. What is the verb in the following sentence? Allison scored the most goals in Saturday’s soccer game. a. b. c. d. scored most in soccer Answer: 6. a In the following sentence, is the verb “scored” an action verb or linking verb? Allison scored the most goals in Saturday’s soccer game. a. action b. linking Answer: a Writing • 41 LESSON 1 7. What is the verb in the following sentence? Samantha is a computer programmer. a. is b. computer c. programmer Answer: 8. a In the following sentence, is the verb “is” an action verb or linking verb? Samantha is a computer programmer. a. action b. linking Answer: 9. b What is the verb in the following sentence? They were the only people in the office. a. b. c. d. They were only in Answer: 42 • Writing b LESSON 1 10. In the following sentence, is the verb “were” an action verb or linking verb? They were the only people in the office. a. action b. linking Answer: b Writing • 43 LESSON 1 EXERCISE – MAIN AND HELPING VERBS Instructions: Identify the main verb in the following sentences. 1. I was going to walk during my break. a. going b. walk 2. The mechanic is changing the battery in the car. a. changing b. in 3. Robert has driven the van to the shop. a. to b. driven 4. I have questioned their plans for the project. a. have b. questioned 5. The children are swimming in the pool. a. swimming b. are 44 • Writing LESSON 1 Instructions: Identify the helping verb in the following sentences. 6. I was going to walk during my break. a. was b. during 7. The mechanic is changing the battery in the car. a. changing b. is 8. Robert has driven the van to the shop. a. to b. has 9. I have questioned their plans for the project. a. questioned b. have 10. The children are swimming in the pool. a. in b. are Writing • 45 LESSON 1 ANSWERS TO EXERCISE – MAIN AND HELPING VERBS Instructions: Identify the main verb in the following sentences. 1. I was going to walk during my break. a. going b. walk Answer: 2. a. The mechanic is changing the battery in the car. a. changing b. in Answer: 3. a. Robert has driven the van to the shop. a. to b. driven Answer: 4. b. I have questioned their plans for the project. a. have b. questioned Answer: 5. b. The children are swimming in the pool. a. swimming b. are Answer: 46 • Writing a. LESSON 1 Instructions: Identify the helping verb in the following sentences. 6. I was going to walk during my break. a. was b. during Answer: 7. a. The mechanic is changing the battery in the car. a. changing b. is Answer: 8. b. Robert has driven the van to the shop. a. to b. has Answer: 9. b. I have questioned their plans for the project. a. questioned b. have Answer: b. 10. The children are swimming in the pool. a. in b. are Answer: b. Writing • 47 LESSON 1 ADJECTIVES Adjectives are descriptive words that modify or qualify nouns and pronouns. A modifier is a word that can change the meaning of nouns, pronouns, and verbs by adding or limiting information. An adjective can add interest, detail, color, etc., to your writing. Adjectives answer the questions which, what kind, or how many. Examples: The van drove over the rough bumpy road. The package was wrapped with a bright red bow. ADVERBS An adverb is also a modifying word. It is a word that modifies a verb, an adjective, or another adverb in a sentence. An adverb answers one of five questions about the word or phrase that it is modifying. Those questions are how, when, where, how often, or to what extent. Let’s look at a few examples of adverbs. Examples: They drove home quickly. (How?) The soccer team played yesterday. (When?) Alexander was very excited. (To what extent?) 48 • Writing LESSON 1 Let’s discuss one last thing about adverbs. The word not is an adverb; it means no. Never use two words that mean no in the same sentence. This is called a double negative and is never correct. Examples: Incorrect – I don’t have no money for tickets. Correct – I have no money for tickets. PREPOSITIONS In many sentences, special words join or show the connections between other words. A preposition is a connecting word. The preposition is usually followed by a noun or a pronoun that is called the object of the preposition. Together, the preposition, the object, and the modifiers form a prepositional phrase. The most common prepositions are at, by, for, from, in, of, on, to, and with. Examples: There is a VCR in the van. The squirrel ran by the tree. Writing • 49 LESSON 1 CONJUNCTIONS A conjunction is also a connecting word. It connects words, groups of words, or clauses. The most common conjunctions are and, but, for, nor, or, so, and yet. Examples: Bo and Meagan are good friends. Would you like lobster or fish for dinner? I bought the present, but I didn’t have time to wrap it. INTERJECTIONS There are many words or phrases that are used to express strong feelings. Words that function in this manner are called interjections. They can stand alone (usually followed by an exclamation point), or they can be used within a sentence, set off by commas. Examples: No! You cannot go. Oh, please forgive me. Although interjections come in handy when you want to show strong emotion in your writing, they should be used sparingly. In writing for business purposes, too many interjections can be a hindrance. Creative writing will use the interjection more often in many cases, and this is permissible because this type of writing has a different purpose and audience. But for most business purposes, use of the interjection should be limited. 50 • Writing LESSON 1 SUBJECT – VERB AGREEMENT For a sentence to be clear, the subject and its verb must agree. The basic principle to remember here is: Singular subjects need singular verbs, and plural subjects need plural verbs. Examples: My sister is a chemical engineer. My brothers are doctors. In some sentences it may be hard to decide whether the subject is singular or plural. The following pages contain some guidelines to go by to help you do this. Writing • 51 LESSON 1 Guidelines to determine whether the subject is plural or singular: Compound subjects joined by and are usually plural. Brandon and Bo are excellant students. Use a singular verb with a compound subject that refers to one person or one thing. This year’s most popular player and speaker was here on Saturday to sign autographs. (Notice that “player” and “speaker” are the same person.) A compound subject that is singular and is connected by the word or/nor will use the singular verb. My aunt and my cousin plans to attend the reunion. A compound subject that is plural and is connected by the word or/nor will use the plural form of the verb. Neither my aunts nor my cousins plan to attend the reunion. When a compound subject contains both a plural form and a singular form, use the form of the subject that is closest to the verb form. Neither the truckers nor the machinist has vacation days left. Nouns that have plural forms even though they are considered singular use plural verb forms. The glasses are on the dresser. 52 • Writing LESSON 1 When the sentence has the verb coming before the subject, it is sometimes difficult to locate the subject. Here’s a tip for locating the subject in these cases: Change the sentence around so that the action comes after the subject. Then it will be easier to make the subject and verb agree. There are many cars on the highway. (Think: cars are on the highway.) When using the adjective “every” to modify the subject, use a singular verb form. Every means every single one takes a singular verb. Every man and woman receives the same treatment. When using the adjective “many” to modify the subject, always use the plural form of the verb. Many teachers attend the conference. Modifiers are sometimes placed between the subject and verb and can cause confusion when determining singular or plural. Take the modifier out to ensure the subject and verb agree. The computer, as well as its connections, was hit by lightening. (Eliminate the modifier “as well as all its connections” to determine which verb tense should be used.) I am sure this sounds like quite a few rules to remember, but don’t panic. Most of the time when you read or hear a sentence, you can determine if the subject and verb agree by listening to how it sounds. When you are writing for the workplace, you will check your subject-verb agreement as part of your proofreading. After you have done this for a while, it will be no problem for you. Writing • 53 LESSON 1 EXERCISE – VERB FORM Instructions: Determine the correct verb form to use in the following sentences. 1. My husband and children (is, are) going to the circus. a. is b. are 2. Neither Stewart nor Ronnie (play, plays) in the band. a. play b. plays 3. Entertainment and information (comes, come) into many homes by way of a computer. a. comes b. come 4. Many plants (requires, require) direct sunlight. a. requires b. require 5. There (are, is) few pecans in the dessert. a. are b. is 54 • Writing LESSON 1 6. The boy, along with his teammates, (like, likes) the coach. a. like b. likes 7. The suitcase, as well as its contents, (was, were) gone. a. was b. were 8. The picnic lunch, right down to the tablecloth, (was, were) ruined by the rain. a. was b. were Writing • 55 LESSON 1 ANSWERS TO EXERCISE – VERB FORM Instructions: Determine the correct verb form to use in the following sentences. 1. My husband and children (is, are) going to the circus. a. is b. are Answer: 2. b Neither Stewart nor Ronnie (play, plays) in the band. a. play b. plays Answer: 3. b Entertainment and information (comes, come) into many homes by way of a computer. a. comes b. come Answer: 4. b Many plants (requires, require) direct sunlight. a. requires b. require Answer: 56 • Writing b LESSON 1 5. There (are, is) few pecans in the dessert. a. are b. is Answer: 6. a The boy, along with his teammates, (like, likes) the coach. a. like b. likes Answer: 7. b The suitcase, as well as its contents, (was, were) gone. a. was b. were Answer: 8. a The picnic lunch, right down to the tablecloth, (was, were) ruined by the rain. a. was b. were Answer: a Writing • 57 LESSON 2 CONJUNCTION REVIEW If you were with me in earlier levels of Writing, you know that we have spent a fair amount of time with subordinating and coordinating conjunctions. Since these connecting words are the building blocks of effective sentence structure, we will spend a little more time in this level reviewing and practicing using them. If you are starting your studies with me on this level, you may need to refresh your memory about conjunctions. If you have been moving along with me from the first level; then that’s great. You’re already a step ahead. But watch out! You better review this because there might be a new thing or two! COORDINATING CONJUNCTIONS Tip: Using conjunctions will give variety to your sentence structure. The simplest way of combining sentences is called compounding. Compounding combines sentences by joining them together with coordinating conjunctions. The most common coordinating conjunctions are: and, or, nor, but, for, so, and yet. There are a variety of ways to create a compound sentence using these conjunctions. Example: My father is a dentist. My mother is a writer. Combined: My father is a dentist, and my mother is a writer. 58 • Writing LESSON 2 Notice the comma placed before the coordinating conjunction. When combining two complete sentences (also called independent clauses) you always place a comma before the conjunction. Different conjunctions may be used. Example: My father is a dentist, but my mother is a writer. You may also use conjunctions to combine sentence parts, but they do not make a compound sentence. Example: The departing guests smiled. The departing guests waved. Combined: The departing guests smiled and waved. These two sentences have been compounded by joining the verbs. Notice that there is no comma placed in front of the conjunction when verbs of sentences are joined. Writing • 59 LESSON 2 Example: The day was bright. The day was sunny. Combined: The day was bright and sunny. In this example we joined the adjectives to combine the sentences, but we do not have two independent clauses. Notice once again that there is no comma in front of the conjunction since we did not join two complete sentences or thoughts. Remember the main purpose of a comma is to show a pause in the writer’s thoughts. Without any pauses, reading would be very confusing. A comma makes writing easier to understand. A common error in writing is to use too many commas. If you are in doubt about a particular sentence, and you cannot recall the specific rule, read the sentence aloud and see if it needs a pause. Nine times out of ten, you will be able to tell if a pause is needed and where it should be in the sentence. 60 • Writing LESSON 2 SUBORDINATING CONJUNCTIONS A complex sentence is one in which one independent clause is joined with one or more subordinate clauses to form a sentence. A subordinate clause is one that cannot stand alone as a sentence, as it does not express a complete thought. Subordinating conjunctions usually show relationships of time, manner, cause, condition, comparison, or purpose. The most common subordinating conjunctions are provided. • Time: after, as, as long as, as soon as, before, since, until, when, whenever, while • Manner: as, as if, as though • Cause: because • Condition: although, as along as, even if, even though, if, provided that, though, unless, while • Comparison: as, than • Purpose: in order that Example: I cannot go to the movies because I have no money. Because is a subordinating conjunction showing cause. Writing • 61 LESSON 2 Example: Unless and until you balance your checkbook, you cannot write another check. In this example, I have combined two subordinating conjunctions to form a complex sentence that shows time and condition. Notice the punctuation in the previous two examples. When the subordinate clause is following the independent clause there is no comma placed in front of the subordinating conjunction. However, when the subordinate clause is at the beginning of the complex sentence, there is a comma placed between the two clauses. Now, look at the examples again, and I will attempt to clear up a common confusing element concerning the difference between an independent clause and a subordinate clause. 62 • Writing LESSON 2 Examples: I cannot go to the movies because I have no money. It’s time to dive into an exercise! Unless and until you balance your checkbook, you cannot write another check. You will notice that in the examples “because I have no money” and “unless and until you balance your checkbook” both contain a subject, verb, and an object. If you dropped the subordinating conjunctions, they could stand alone as complete sentences. Since the conjunctions add a condition, time or cause to the meaning of “I have no money” and “you balance your checkbook,” they are a part of the whole phrase and cannot be dropped. They do not carry a complete thought or idea by themselves. These clauses cannot stand alone. In other words, they need something else to finish the idea. The “something else” they need is the accompanying independent clause to form a complete thought. I hope I made that clear. It is important that you understand when you have written a complete thought and when you have a sentence fragment. Let’s practice by combining some simple sentences into compound and complex sentences using coordinating and subordinating conjunctions. Writing • 63 LESSON 2 EXERCISE – USING CONJUNCTIONS Instructions: Answer the following questions. 1. What are the following words: and, or, not, but, for, so, yet a. coordinating conjunctions b. subordinating conjunctions 2. A ___________________ sentence is one in which one independent clause is joined with one or more subordinate clauses to form a sentence. a. compound b. complex 3. A ___________________ cannot stand alone as a sentence. a. subordinate clause b. independent clause 4. What is used to show time, manner, cause, condition, comparison and purpose? a. coordinating conjunctions b. subordinating conjunctions 5. Which sentence uses a coordinating conjunction? a. The book is short but it is good. b. The lights went out as the movie began. 64 • Writing LESSON 2 6. Which sentence uses a coordinating conjunction? a. I cleaned up while Sue cut the grass. b. The day was bright and sunny. 7. Which sentence uses a coordinating conjunction? a. Jane took an accounting class because she likes numbers. b. Chris returned my book but I lost it. 8. Which sentence uses a coordinating conjunction? a. Never look back although you may want to. b. I took up canoeing and so did Kim. 9. Which sentence uses a subordinating conjunction showing time? a. Jason studied after he watched his favorite show. b. I’ll lend you my clock because you need one. 10. Which sentence uses a subordinating conjunction showing manner? a. I’ll lend you my notes as long as you take care of them. b. The sun set as though it weighed a ton. 11. Which sentence uses a subordinating conjunction showing cause? a. I’ll never go to her house again if she won’t clean it. b. I can’t decide which one is better because they’re both good. Writing • 65 LESSON 2 12. Which sentence uses a subordinating conjunction showing condition? a. I want to go even if Joey is there. b. I took the shortest way home because I was tired. 13. Which sentence uses a subordinating conjunction showing comparison? a. That apple is bigger than that orange. b. We don’t need to be scared as long as Blake is here. 14. Which sentence uses a subordinating conjunction? a. I am doing my homework because I want good grades. b. I have to study in order that I may get good grades. 15. Can a subordinating clause be at the beginning of a sentence? a. yes b. no 66 • Writing LESSON 2 ANSWERS TO EXERCISE – USING CONJUNCTIONS Instructions: Answer the following questions. 1. What are the following words: and, or, not, but, for, so, yet a. coordinating conjunctions b. subordinating conjunctions Answer: 2. a. – The simplest way of combining sentences is called compounding, which joins sentences with coordinating conjunctions. A ___________________ sentence is one in which one independent clause is joined with one or more subordinate clauses to form a sentence. a. compound b. complex Answer: 3. b. – A complex sentence is when an independent clause is joined with subordinate clauses to form a sentence. A ___________________ cannot stand alone as a sentence. a. subordinate clause b. independent clause Answer: a. – A subordinate clause does not express a complete thought, therefore it cannot stand alone as a sentence. Writing • 67 LESSON 2 4. What is used to show time, manner, cause, condition, comparison and purpose? a. coordinating conjunctions b. subordinating conjunctions Answer: 5. b. – Subordinating conjunctions show time (after, as soon as, before), manner (as if, as though), cause (because), even if, provided that, though, unless), comparison (as, than), and purpose (in order that). Which sentence uses a coordinating conjunction? a. The book is short but it is good. b. The lights went out as the movie began. Answer: 6. a. (but) Which sentence uses a coordinating conjunction? a. I cleaned up while Sue cut the grass. b. The day was bright and sunny. Answer: 7. b. (and) Which sentence uses a coordinating conjunction? a. Jane took an accounting class because she likes numbers. b. Chris returned my book but I lost it. Answer: 68 • Writing b. (but) LESSON 2 8. Which sentence uses a coordinating conjunction? a. Never look back although you may want to. b. I took up canoeing and so did Kim. Answer: 9. b. (and) Which sentence uses a subordinating conjunction showing time? a. Jason studied after he watched his favorite show. b. I’ll lend you my clock because you need one. Answer: a. (after) 10. Which sentence uses a subordinating conjunction showing manner? a. I’ll lend you my notes as long as you take care of them. b. The sun set as though it weighed a ton. Answer: b. (as though) 11. Which sentence uses a subordinating conjuction showing cause? a. I’ll never go to her house again if she won’t clean it. b. I can’t decide which one is better because they’re both good. Answer: b. (because) 12. Which sentence uses a subordinating conjunction showing condition? a. I want to go even if Joey is there. b. I took the shortest way home because I was tired. Answer: a. (even if) Writing • 69 LESSON 2 13. Which sentence uses a subordinating conjunction showing comparison? a. That apple is bigger than that orange. b. We don’t need to be scared as long as Blake is here. Answer: a. (than) 14. Which sentence uses a subordinating conjunction? a. I am doing my homework because I want good grades. b. I have to study in order that I may get good grades. Answer: b. (in order that) 15. Can a subordinating clause be at the beginning of a sentence? a. yes b. no Answer: 70 • Writing a. – Example: When the movie began, the lights went out. LESSON 2 EXERCISE – IDENTIFYING SUBORDINATE CLAUSES Instructions: Underline the subordinate clause in following sentences. 1. The store has not opened since the fire burned the interior. 2. Please reply to my letter as soon as you receive it. 3. Until the snow came, the flowers bloomed. 4. We may go to the beach if the weather improves. 5. Unless we go now, we will be late for the meeting. Writing • 71 LESSON 2 ANSWERS TO EXERCISE - IDENTIFYING SUBORDINATE CLAUSES 1. The store has not opened since the fire burned the interior. Answer: 2. Please reply to my letter as soon as you receive it. Answer: 3. Until the snow came We may go to the beach if the weather improves. Answer: 5. as soon as you receive it Until the snow came, the flowers bloomed. Answer: 4. since the fire burned the interior if the weather improves Unless we go now, we will be late for the meeting. Answer: Unless we go now Take a break! 72 • Writing LESSON 3 AUDIENCE AND PURPOSE Sometimes writing can be a chore. We studied audience and purpose in an earlier level, but let’s review it for reinforcement. If this is your first Writing course, you are not behind since I have included just about all of my previous discussion concerning this topic. Even though the purpose of your writing may change with each job assignment you may receive, the main goal is always the same: to get your point across clearly, accurately, and effectively. EdWIN Writing a message, letter, or report may not ever be easy for you. Some people have a natural talent for the job, and some have to work at every word that’s put to paper. Which type are you? Can you sit down and write a letter easily with only a few changes, or is it a painful chore just to jot a short note? Whichever type you are, there are some things that you can do to make the work less difficult and to write more effectively at the same time. When considering the purpose of the message, ask yourself some questions about the subject. It may help to write down the questions and answers in list form to get a clearer meaning. Ask yourself: • What is it I am trying to convey? • What details do I need to include? Make a list of the points and details. If you make such a list, this will help avoid omitting important information. Writing • 73 LESSON 3 Did you ever go to the grocery store without a list? I do it all the time! When you are at home, you might make a mental list of the items you need, but more often than not, when you return home, you find that there is always at least one item you forgot to purchase. Then you are kicking yourself for not writing it down (and always promising that next time you will)! Once you have answered these questions, go over them again to make sure you have not left out details. Remember, you want to be sure the work is as correct and complete as possible before sending it. Check the list one more time if necessary. Next, consider the audience and add this to your list. Who will be reading this message or report? Will it be directed to just one person, or will a group be reading it? Will it be a co-worker who is a friend or just a casual acquaintance? Will it be your boss or the Chairman of the Board? Will the reader be a customer, client, or creditor? Once you have determined your target audience, then you will have a better idea of just what style and demeanor you can use when composing your message. There are many different moods in which the same message can be written. In business writing, a certain amount of professionalism and seriousness is required and expected. Even so, you would still probably write in a different fashion to a co-worker who is also a friend, as compared to how you would compose the same message designed for your boss. Another question you may need to consider: Will the message be of a negative nature? All of these things can determine tone or mood. That is where understanding your audience is important. 74 • Writing LESSON 3 Then as a last step, ask yourself what form should this message take. Does it need to be a memo, a report, a business letter, etc.? All of these use different formats, so you will need to know which is appropriate for the job. Many times you will not have to make a decision concerning the format. For example, if your employer says, “Send a letter,” then naturally that will be the format. But if it is up to you to decide which format will fit the four Cs most effectively, a clear idea of the purpose and audience is vital. Now that we have discussed the importance of understanding audience and purpose, let’s try a few basic exercises to practice. Writing • 75 LESSON 3 EXERCISE – IDENTIFYING AUDIENCE AND PURPOSE Instructions: Read the paragraphs below and identify the intended audience and the purpose of the message. On a ranch in Texas, a herd of cows is about to give birth to what may be the future of the pharmaceutical industry. Scientists said Tuesday they have developed a technique for cloning genetically customized calves that will be able to produce medicines for humans in their milk. (Allison Fitzgerald, Associated Press) 1. Who is the audience? _______________________________________ 2. What is the purpose? _______________________________________ 76 • Writing LESSON 3 Date: January 22, 1998 To: All Staff Engineers From: General Accounting Office Subject: Time Sheets We have changed the format of our time sheets for engineers doing maintenance work on the Allis Chalmers machinery. Please note the differences in the forms and pay particular attention to filling them out correctly. We hope these new forms will be easier to complete and more efficient for the accounting department to keep up with maintenance costs. 3. Who is the audience? _______________________________________ 4. What is the purpose? _______________________________________ The first grade class will be going on a field trip on Tuesday of next week. We need 35 bag lunches packed early Tuesday morning to be ready to go on the bus at 8:30 AM. Please make a note of this for next week’s schedule. Thanks. 5. Who is the audience? _______________________________________ 6. What is the purpose? _______________________________________ Writing • 77 LESSON 3 ANSWERS TO EXERCISE 1. Audience Answer: 2. Purpose Answer: 3. Inform Audience Answer: 6. All staff engineers Purpose Answer: 5. Inform Audience Answer: 4. General public Could you tell this was a note to the cafeteria supervisor? Purpose Answer: 78 • Writing To give instructions LESSON 4 CLEAR AND CONCISE When considering our objective to write clearly and concisely, we have to remind ourselves that we are focusing on writing in the workplace. Sometimes people use “overblown language” when they write. Overblown language is simply using unnecessary, wordy sentences and paragraphs. Excessive adjectives, adverbs, and other words and phrases that modify a sentence can be overused and thus will dilute or obscure the main message. This style of writing may be very useful if your purpose is to entertain your audience, but it is normally not applicable in the business world. (Unless you’re in advertising, of course, where I think many ideas and products are overblown!) Cut out unnecessary words. This is especially true of adverbs known as intensifiers. Words such as very, really, extremely, truly, basically, completely, positively, absolutely, and so are all intensifiers. If you will look in the paragraph above, you will notice that I have done that very thing (I just did it again). In the sentence that reads, “This style of writing may be very useful if your purpose is to entertain your audience, but it is normally not applicable in the business world.” The words “very” and “normally” are intensifiers and are not necessary to explain the point. In fact, if you look at much of my writing, you will see that I use intensifiers a lot. Truly! Really! Absolutely! OK, enough already! Anyway, what I am trying to say is when sending a message in a business format, it is better to get straight to the point. Use these words when you purposely want to create intensity in a sentence. Too many flowery adjectives, adverbs, and phrases become unnecessary clutter. Writing • 79 LESSON 4 Look at the following sentences and remove any unnecessary words. Examples: My daughter was in a traffic accident but she was not really hurt. Do teachers truly intend to develop students to their full potential? Did you take out the words really, truly, and full? If you did, you identified all the intensifiers. Many phrases can often be trimmed or eliminated from sentences. Look at the following example and try to find a phrase in this sentence that could be eliminated? Example: Employers have invested millions in the development of the workforce. You could change it around to read, “Employers have invested millions to develop the workforce.” 80 • Writing LESSON 4 Phrases that use two or more words to do the work of one are redundant. They also create overblown sentences. Look at these examples. Take out the redundant words. Example: The guidelines provide an explanation of the new quality standards. The phrase, “provide an explanation of ” can be better said by one word, “explain.” Substitute this word for the phrase and see the difference. The guidelines explain the new quality standards. Example: The employees voiced objections to the overtime requirements. In this example, the phrase “voiced objections to” can be replaced with “objected to.” Writing • 81 LESSON 4 Many phrases are often unnecessary. If you need to use a phrase, keep it down to two words, if possible. Examples: During the course of the storm, no customer lost service. The city surveyed the residents for the purpose of measuring dissatisfaction with the police department. In the event that our service area expands, we will be ready to compete. Here’s a more concise way to write these sentences: During the storm, no customer lost service. The city surveyed the residents to measure dissatisfaction with the police department. If the service area expands, we will be ready to compete. 82 • Writing LESSON 4 Couples are a popular method to reinforce meaning, but they are not usually applicable in business writing. Couples are those words that are connected by and and the second word reinforces the first. Consider these examples: first and foremost peace and quiet compare and contrast aid and abet Also avoid clichés when you are writing. They are old and worn out sayings (that’s why they’re called clichés). Try to come up with fresh expressions if possible. Just for the fun of it, read the following essay. It will illustrate this point better than I could ever do! You will find several clichés italicized. Clichés, since the dawn of time, have wrought havoc with those who toil in the vineyards of literary circles for filthy lucre. Some have made superhuman effort to pass the acid test of cliché-free prose. A word to the wise: throw caution to the winds and call a spade a spade, and hopefully, your rewards will be too numerous to mention in your ripe old age. Variety is the spice of life in using words. A conservative estimate of the various and sundry times a budding genius in literary circles can prevent the clichés from flowing like water are more than you can shake a stick at. In this day and age, it should come like a bolt from the blue for you to beat a Writing • 83 LESSON 4 hasty retreat to the thesaurus in an all-out effort to get the sum and substance of fresh expressions. Although great minds run in the same channel, some writers haven’t the foggiest notion that clichés are a dime a dozen and produce writing as dull as dishwater. Copy with more trite terms than a dog has fleas can be the straw that breaks the camel’s back in boring John Q. Public. Needless to say, rumor has it there’s nothing new under the sun, but, if at a loss for words, avoid any as old as Methuselah. Give yourself the benefit of the doubt with words as fresh as a daisy. Even if you have to work like a Trojan, hopefully, it will be a labor of love to please Mr. Average Reader. It goes without saying that yours truly will kid you not in saying if you’re up to your armpits in clichés, you’re a dead duck. Maybe dead as a doornail. Or could you care less? Straight from the horse’s mouth, clichés are strictly for the birds. Avoid them like the plague. So when the finger of fate sends the Grim Reaper to call you to the great beyond, just heave a sigh of relief that it was duck soup to avoid throwing a verbal monkey wrench into each and every story. Last but not least, don’t let any grass grow under your feet in keeping clichés few and far between. Hopefully, it should be no sooner said than done to ensure method in your madness. Meantime, eat, drink and be merry, and as for triteness, smash it to smithereens. 84 • Writing LESSON 4 We have touched upon avoidance of idioms, jargon, and technical terminology in an earlier level of Writing. Let’s review those now. Idioms are expressions that cannot be understood literally. “Fixin’ to take a fit” makes no sense in literal terms. “A devil of a time” is another good example. Jargon describes words or phrases that are unique or common to certain industries or professions, but may not be familiar to your reader(s). Technical terms are also industry or profession specific. Euphemisms (u-fa-mis-ums) are also superfluous and should be avoided. Using an inoffensive term for one considered offensive is using a euphemism. These words are generally vague and often deliberately misleading. Many people in government, military, corporations, and universities are fond of using euphemisms to soften the hard realities of life. They can express politeness or deception, but all euphemisms serve to fog the true meaning in our messages. Instead of saying, “laying off employees,” we say “downsizing” … instead of “tax increase,” we say, “revenue enhancement.” See if you can figure out what I’m really trying to say: euphemisms clearer underprivileged gone on to greater glory passed away budgetary shortfall inventory shrinkage pre-owned correctional facility poor advanced died deficit loss used prison Writing • 85 LESSON 4 Let’s recap this lesson by listing the different ways you can make your writing totally overblown and obscure. Unnecessary: Verb phrases Noun phrases Prepositional phrases – Intensifiers Redundant terms Extraneous adjectives and adverbs Euphemisms Idioms Jargon Technical terminology Couples Clichés It is better to write workplace communications clearly and concisely. So, let’s try a few exercises to practice the concepts we have discussed. Tip: Write clearly and concisely. 86 • Writing LESSON 4 EXERCISE – WRITING CLEARLY AND CONCISELY Instructions: Answer the following questions 1. Which is a euphemism? a. inventory shrinkage b. loss 2. Which is a euphemism? a. prison b. correctional facility 3. What does the following sentence contain? For the life of me, I don’t know where I have put my keys. a. idiom b. cliché 4. What does the following sentence contain? My grandmother passed away last spring. a. euphemism b. cliché Writing • 87 LESSON 4 5. What does the following sentence contain? After my shower, I felt fresh as a daisy. a. euphemism b. cliché 6. What does the following sentence contain? Whatever we do, we must not muddy the waters while completing the task. a. cliché b. euphemism 7. What does the following sentence contain? We had a devil of a time in Los Angeles. a. cliché b. idiom 8. What are two things that can cause your writing to be overblown and vague? a. jargon and idioms b. changing ideas and rewriting 9. Can couples and clichés cause your writing to be overblown and vague? a. yes b. no 88 • Writing LESSON 4 ANSWERS TO EXERCISE – WRITING CLEARLY AND CONCISELY Instructions: Answer the following questions 1. Which is a euphemism? a. inventory shrinkage b. loss Answer: 2. a. – Euphemisms are vague and should be avoided in business letters. They use an inoffensive term for a word that is considered offensive. ‘Loss’ has a clearer meaning in this instance. Which is a euphemism? a. prison b. correctional facility Answer: 3. b. What does the following sentence contain? For the life of me, I don’t know where I have put my keys. a. idiom b. cliché Answer: b. – Clichés should be avoided when you are writing. They are old and worn out sayings; try to come up with fresh expressions if possible. Writing • 89 LESSON 4 4. What does the following sentence contain? My grandmother passed away last spring. a. euphemism b. cliché Answer: 5. a. – It would have been clearer to say “My grandmother died last spring.” What does the following sentence contain? After my shower, I felt fresh as a daisy. a. euphemism b. cliché Answer: 6. b. – ‘fresh as a daisy’ is a cliché What does the following sentence contain? Whatever we do, we must not muddy the waters while completing the task. a. cliché b. euphemism Answer: 90 • Writing a. – ‘muddy the waters’ is a cliché LESSON 4 7. What does the following sentence contain? We had a devil of a time in Los Angeles. a. cliché b. idiom Answer: 8. b. – ‘devil of a time’ is an idiom. Idioms are expressions that make no sense in literal terms What are two things that can cause your writing to be overblown and vague? a. jargon and idioms b. changing ideas and rewriting Answer: 9. a. Many things can cause your writing to be overblown: unnecessary phrases, redundant terms, clichés, extraneous adjectives and adverbs, euphemisms, idioms, jargon, technical terms, and couples. Can couples and clichés cause your writing to be overblown and vague? a. yes b. no Answer: a. Writing • 91 LESSON 4 EXERCISE – CLEAR AND CONCISE Instructions: Read the sentences and mark through any unnecessary words or phrases. 1. I was really, really nervous about my interview. 2. The interviewer turned out to be very friendly. 3. The interview wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought it might be. 4. It was an absolutely nice experience after all. 5. I am completely satisfied that I have a good chance to get the position. 6. The quality of the product is first and foremost in our minds. 7. To compare and contrast our findings, let’s review our figures. 8. He is the one and only person for the job. 9. If I had to pick and choose, I would buy the brown jacket. 10. All of the rules and regulations are in the employee handbook. 92 • Writing LESSON 4 Instructions: Rewrite the following sentences eliminating any clichés, idioms, and/or euphemisms. 11. All things being equal, I would say either of these would do. ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ 12. For the life of me, I don’t know where I have put my keys. ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ 13. He told me that this project was just the tip of the iceberg. ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ 14. We are planning to pull out all the stops for this job. ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ Writing • 93 LESSON 4 15. Whatever we do, we must not muddy the waters while completing the task. ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ Instructions: Rearrange these sentences to eliminate unnecessary or clumsy phrases. 16. There are many children who go to daycare. ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ 17. There is a lot on Thompson Street that is being converted into a playground. ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ 18. We are in agreement that meetings should be held monthly. ____________________________________________________________ 94 • Writing LESSON 4 19. This figure is a list of the companies which currently use our products. ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ 20. An inventory of its merchandise was conducted by the store in August. ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ 21. The organization of our new team should be done in four days. ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ 22. Most of our employees dislike the practice of rotating assignments. ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ 23. We should never make an assumption until we know the facts. ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ Writing • 95 LESSON 4 24. As a matter of fact, we are currently experiencing a budgetary shortfall. ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ 25. He threw a fit when he realized he would have to work overtime. ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ 26. For your information, I will need your report by Friday. ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ 27. We were all working like gang busters on this project. ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ 28. Permit me to say that I think you are doing a great job. ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ 96 • Writing LESSON 4 ANSWERS TO EXERCISE (Answers may vary) 1. I was really, really nervous about my interview. Answer: 2. The interviewer turned out to be very friendly. Answer: 3. first and To compare and contrast our findings, let’s review our figures. Answer: 8. completely, good The quality of the product is first and foremost in our minds. Answer: 7. absolutely I am completely satisfied that I have a good chance to get the position. Answer: 6. nearly It was an absolutely nice experience after all. Answer: 5. very The interview wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought it might be. Answer: 4. really, really and contrast He is the one and only person for the job. Answer: He is the only person for the job. Writing • 97 LESSON 4 9. If I had to pick and choose, I would buy the brown jacket. Answer: pick and 10. All of the rules and regulations are in the employee handbook. Answer: and regulations 11. All things being equal, I would say either of these would do. Answer: I would say that either of these would do. 12. For the life of me, I don’t know where I have put my keys. Answer: I don’t know where I put my keys. 13. He told me that this project was just the tip of the iceberg. Answer: He told me that this project was just the beginning. 14. We are planning to pull out all the stops for this job. Answer: We are planning to do whatever is necessary for this job. 15. Whatever we do, we must not muddy the waters while completing the task. Answer: We must complete this task without any confusion. 16. There are many children who go to daycare. Answer: Many children go to daycare. 17. There is a lot on Thompson Street that is being converted into a playground. Answer: 98 • Writing A lot on Thompson Street is being converted into a playground. LESSON 4 18. We are in agreement that meetings should be held monthly. Answer: We agree that we should hold monthly meetings. 19. This figure is a list of the companies which currently use our products. Answer: This figure shows the companies now using our products. 20. An inventory of its merchandise was conducted by the store in August. Answer: The store conducted an inventory of its merchandise in August. 21. The organization of our new team should be done in four days. Answer: Organizing our new team should be done in four days. 22. Most of our employees dislike the practice of rotating assignments. Answer: Most of our employees dislike rotating assignments. 23. We should never make an assumption until we know the facts. Answer: We should never assume until we know the facts. 24. As a matter of fact, we are currently experiencing a budgetary shortfall. Answer: We are currently experiencing a deficit. Writing • 99 LESSON 4 25. He threw a fit when he realized he would have to work overtime. Answer: He was upset when he realized he would have to work overtime. 26. For your information, I will need your report by Friday. Answer: I will need your report by Friday. 27. We were all working like gang busters on this project. Answer: We were all working hard on this project. 28. Permit me to say that I think you are doing a great job. Answer: 100 • Writing I think you are doing a great job. LESSON 5 WRITING AND REVISING As I stated earlier, you may be someone who writes as easily as you breathe. If you are the type that gasps at the very thought of writing something, there are a few tips that can be invaluable in making the chore bearable. (and maybe even fun!) The three main steps in the writing process are: planning, drafting, and revising. We will discuss them all individually. Not all steps are mandatory in each situation, and some steps may be repeated a number of times before you are comfortable with the result. PLANNING Coming up with the theme for your writing project might be the hardest part, but it, too, can be broken down into several parts. Of course, if your employer tells you to send a letter to Mr. John Brown about the production schedule of widgets next month, you won’t have to worry about that. You can move on to the next phase of planning. Know your audience and purpose. Most business writing is done to inform or persuade. Once you have determined this, tailor your comments and style to fit your specific audience. Writing • 101 LESSON 5 Get your ideas on paper. Start by just jotting down everything that comes into your head. Don’t worry about order at this time; the important thing is not to leave out any important details. Try listing all the things you know about the topic. You may end up crossing out half of them, but that doesn’t matter right now. Ask yourself questions about the topic. What does my audience need to know? Try to visualize similar ideas together in a group. Write down any thoughts you come up with. Use any notes that you have made from meetings, conferences, phone conversations, etc., that might apply. Narrow your topic. Make sure your topic is specific enough to be covered thoroughly in your memo, letter, or document. A topic that is too broad will require too much information to be able to keep your letter or memo as brief as it should be. Determine the main point that you want to make. Once you have this in mind, you can add the details that need to be included. This will help you get all the important information included and strike out any that is not essential. DRAFTING After the planning stage, you can begin getting everything in order in preparation to write your first draft. The first thing you need to do is read all of the ideas you have jotted down during the planning stage and eliminate unnecessary or weak ideas. Once you have weeded those out, organize what’s left into an order of presentation. Now you’re ready to write the first draft. 102 • Writing LESSON 5 REVISE & REWRITE After you have written your first draft, try to take a break if possible before writing your second draft. First, check for content and logic. Did you include all the important details? Does it make sense? Do you have correct information? Did you omit anything? If necessary, go back and check your notes to make sure. Next, check for style and word choice. Are your sentences and paragraphs clear and concise, free of unnecessary language? Does it represent your personality in a natural way? If not, go back and revise clumsy sentences or words and phrases that do not fit the “real you.” This will avoid a stilted and stiff presentation. Always write keeping your audience in mind. You have already determined that in the first part of the planning stage, so don’t lose sight of it as you are writing your document. If necessary, go back and read what you have written in stages, making sure you are still writing to the audience for which it is intended. Once you have finished your project, it is time to proofread your work. This is the last part of your revising stage. It is the time you check for spelling, capitalization, sentence structure, subject/verb agreement, punctuation, typos, and anything else that is in error. You will probably have to read it more than once to be sure there are no mistakes you overlooked. You might even want to have a friend or co-worker check it over; many times someone else can spot an error quicker than you. Writing • 103 LESSON 5 Once you have done all these things and you are satisfied that it is perfect (you hope), you’re ready to send it out as a finished and polished work. Study the outline below to reinforce the steps involved in the writing process. Refer to the previous explanations for each topic if necessary. THE WRITING PROCESS I. Planning A. Know your audience and purpose 1. Inform or persuade 2. Tailor content and style to your audience B. Get your ideas on paper 1. Jot down all ideas 2. List things you know about topic 3. Visualize similar ideas together 4. Ask pertinent questions about topic 5. Use notes from meetings, phone conversations, conferences, etc. C. Narrow your topic 1. Make sure topic is specific enough to be covered thoroughly in your letter or memo D. Determine your main idea 1. Determine the main point you want to make II. Drafting A. Outline your ideas 1. Eliminate unnecessary or weak ideas 2. Organize the rest in order of presentation B. Write your first draft (continued) 104 • Writing LESSON 5 III. Revising A. Revise and rewrite 1. When possible, take a break between writing first and second drafts 2. Check for content and logic 3. Check for style and word choice 4. Keep your audience in mind B. Proofread 1. Check for the following: a. Spelling and punctuation b. Grammar and sentence structure c. Capitalization d. Omitted words e. Typos Are you ready to practice the writing process? Writing • 105 LESSON 5 EXERCISE – RECOMMENDATION LETTER Instructions: Write a letter to include the information given. Remember the steps of writing. It is up to you to organize the information and present it in a clear, concise manner. I will give you my interpretation later so that you can compare your work to mine. Also remember that your work will not duplicate mine word for word. 1. 2. 3. 4. letter of recommendation to a prospective employer for a former co-worker (Mr. John Smith) qualifications of candidate: punctual, organized, efficient, easy to work with, cooperates well, dependable 5. worked with him for five years ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ 106 • Writing LESSON 5 ANSWERS TO EXERCISE Suggested letter (answers may vary): Dear Sir: I would like to recommend Mr. John Smith for a position with your company. Having worked with Mr. Smith for five years, I can say that he is an efficient and qualified worker. His workplace behavior is dependable, organized, punctual, and cooperative. I would not hesitate to work with him again at any time. Sincerely, EdWIN Writing • 107 LESSON 5 EXERCISE – CORRECTING A LETTER Instructions: Read the following letter and make any necessary corrections. Look closely. They may not “stick out like a sore thumb!” Oops, I used an idiom! Dear Sir: I would like to place an order of 10,00 widgets from your company to be delivered a week from Friday, April 21st. Would you be so kind as to acknowledge my order ASAP? If possible, I wold like for you to confirm it with my order clerk who works in my office with me. Please advise if you cannot fill this order by the date I have asked for. Sincerely, EdWIN ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ 108 • Writing This page was intentionally left blank. Writing • 109 LESSON 5 ANSWERS TO EXERCISE Corrections: Dear Sir: I would like to place an order of 10,00 widgets from your company to be delivered a week from Friday, April 21st. Would you be so kind as to acknowledge my order ASAP? If possible, I wold like for you to confirm it with my order clerk who works in my office with me. Please advise if you cannot fill this order by the date I have asked for. Sincerely, EdWIN Suggested letter (answers may vary slightly): Dear Sir: I would like to place an order with your company for 10,000 widgets to be delivered no later than Friday, April 21. If possible, could you confirm my order and shipping date with my order clerk right away? Please advise me if the order cannot be delivered by the deadline. Sincerely, EdWIN 110 • Writing LESSON 6 FORMAL AND INFORMAL We also discussed this lesson in an earlier level, but in Level 4 we will discuss it in greater detail. For business purposes, the formal method of constructing letters, reports, etc., is the accepted form to use. In a workplace setting a certain amount of seriousness and professionalism is expected and required. There are several reasons for maintaining professionalism and formality in your workplace correspondence. Formality precludes any presumption of inappropriate familiarity with the reader. Formal vs. Informal For instance, you would never begin a letter to the president of a company with a salutation such as “Dear Bill.” This would make the assumption that you know him on a personal level. The same would hold true of anyone with whom you are not personally acquainted. Many persons do not appreciate this presumption. That is why you must never use the exception to the formal salutation unless you are absolutely sure the reader will not be offended by the personal greeting. If you do make this mistake, you run the risk of alienating your reader from the start. Since one of the main reasons for workplace correspondence is to persuade, you more than likely already sabotaged yourself, as he/she will not place much importance in your argument. If your purpose is to inform, your reader may not assign much credibility to your information. An insult is like building a very high brick wall, a wall that is very hard to climb or break through. If your salutation builds that wall, nothing else in your correspondence will get through. Writing • 111 LESSON 6 Formality also conveys to the reader that you respect his/her person and title. Even if you do know them well enough to call them by their first name in an informal or social setting, using a formal address states to them that you acknowledge their importance and their position in the business setting. When you write a personal note or letter to a friend, you do not worry about using slang, jargon, or expressing your opinions and ideas in great abundance or flowery language. The same holds true for creative writing where the main purpose is to entertain the reader. Business correspondence, on the other hand, should always be professional. That’s not to say that it has to be cold, stuffy, or boring. You can make your writing businesslike and still construct interesting sentences to relay information. By maintaining a professional tone, you increase your credibility to the reader. You want this person to see you as an organized, well-informed, and competent person who understands the workplace environment and tailors his/her correspondence accordingly. This will increase the confidence of your reader in your knowledge of the subject. He or she will then be more likely to accept your argument or information as being accurate, complete, and worth consideration. By avoiding jargon, idioms, and technical language that do not apply, you also are showing the reader that you are considerate of his/her possible limitations without being patronizing. Using this type of language is informal and not acceptable in the workplace. 112 • Writing LESSON 6 Have you ever received a letter or had a conversation with people who wanted to impress you with their knowledge of a particular subject? All of us have! That person deliberately uses jargon that they know you don’t understand, but they don’t care because they are too busy trying to impress you. Or, (maybe even worse) they simplify their explanation to the point of insulting your intelligence. Either of these attitudes is extremely annoying, and believe me, your reader can spot it immediately. When relating information of a technical nature, be considerate of your reader and tailor the information accordingly. If you do not, you may make a negative impression, even though that would certainly not be your intention. I will say again, “A negative impression is very hard to overcome!” Professionals should never make their reader feel inept, ignorant, or patronized. Let me tell you something that happened to me personally which will illustrate my point. Several years ago, I was assigned to help organize the card catalog at a library. Upon presenting myself to the librarian, she immediately asked, “Do you know your ABCs?” Well, naturally, I was insulted by such a remark! Whether she meant to patronize me in such a manner, I never did know. But, I can tell you that to this day my opinion of her has been less than favorable! Even if she did this inadvertently, the results were the same. So, be very careful… you might never know the damage you’ve done. Simply state the information clearly and concisely, using terminology that is appropriate, and keep your audience in mind. Here are a few exercises to practice formal versus informal writing techniques. Writing • 113 LESSON 6 EXERCISE – FORMAL vs. INFORMAL Instructions: Rewrite the following informal letters as business letters and the formal letter as an informal letter. 1. Jerry, Will you be able to “do lunch” with me on Thursday? I need to talk at ya awhile about the upcoming symposium on the new computer tech stuff. Let me know, will you? Thanks, EdWIN ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ 114 • Writing LESSON 6 2. Mr. Cliff Brown: Please advise me of any budget cuts your department may be considering for the next fiscal year. We are currently trying to coordinate efforts with the accounting department in order to submit our revised budget to the board at next month’s meeting. As you know, the company is trying to cut any unnecessary expenses in order to maintain our staff at its current level. Could you contact me about this at your earliest convenience. It would be appreciated. Sincerely, EdWIN ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ Writing • 115 LESSON 6 3. Feb 2, 1998 Berman’s Meat Markett Mr. Sam Berman 1234 Pork Chop Road Beefy, Indiana Dear Sam, I have been emploied by your Meet Market since 1993. Even though I haven’t met you, I”m sure you will understand my problem. I had come to work every day and always does good work. Never a day sick in all that time. Well, you see, now I have a problem. My wife just had surgery she needs me at home home to help take care of her. If any problems come up. I am requewsting a two week leave of absence beginning on Feb. 6 or sometime around there. Please respond soon. Sincerely, Kyle Kelso kk ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ 116 • Writing LESSON 6 ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ Writing • 117 LESSON 6 ANSWERS TO EXERCISE Suggested letters (answers may vary): 1. Mr. Jerry Smith: Would it be possible to schedule a meeting with you for next Thursday? I had in mind a working lunch to discuss the upcoming symposium on the new computer technology we are introducing. Please contact me at your convenience. I would appreciate it. Sincerely, EdWIN 2. Dear Cliff, As you know, the company is trying to cut corners wherever they can to keep our current staff and avoid any layoffs next year. Can you get with me ASAP on any budget cuts your department has come up with? We are trying to coordinate with accounting on this. Thanks a bunch, EdWIN 118 • Writing LESSON 6 3. February 2, 1998 Mr. Sam Berman Berman’s Meat Market 1234 Pork Chop Road Beefy, Indiana 70923 Dear Mr. Berman: I have been a dependable employee of your Meat Market for five years. My wife recently had surgery, and I need a leave of absence to care for her when she comes home. Would it be possible for me to take a two week leave beginning February 6? I would appreciate your prompt attention to my request. Sincerely, Kyle Kelso Writing • 119 LESSON 6 EXERCISE – FORMAL vs. INFORMAL Instructions: Determine if the words and phrases imply a formal or informal style of writing. 1. Dear Sir: ____________________________________________________________ 2. Barbara, ____________________________________________________________ 3. Can we get together? ____________________________________________________________ 4. I would like to schedule a meeting ... ____________________________________________________________ 5. Please advise me ... ____________________________________________________________ 6. Guess what? I ... ____________________________________________________________ 7. Sincerely, ____________________________________________________________ 120 • Writing LESSON 6 8. So long for now, ____________________________________________________________ 9. See ya soon, ____________________________________________________________ 10. Would you contact my office ... ____________________________________________________________ “Howdy partner” (informal) Writing • 121 LESSON 6 Answers to Exercise: 1. Dear Sir: Answer: formal 2. Barbara, Answer: informal 3. Can we get together? Answer: informal 4. I would like to schedule a meeting … Answer: formal 5. Please advise me ... Answer: formal 6. Guess what? I ... Answer: informal 7. Sincerely, Answer: formal 8. So long for now, Answer: informal 9. See ya soon, Answer: informal 10. Would you contact my office … Answer: 122 • Writing formal LESSON 6 EXERCISE – BUSINESS LETTER Instructions: Let’s try combining some of the lessons in this exercise. Read the following letter to Sally Gripe and rewrite it, taking out any unnecessary phrases, idioms, slang, jargon, etc. Write it in a formal style. Dear Sally, Just listen to this one. Yesterday, Jack Jones came in from his trip to Detroit and said that he was really, really, put out with trying to get all his customer’s orders straight. Ever since we went to the new computer system, he says that everything has been fouled up. No one is getting the right thing, and no one is getting it on time. We need some help, serious! Can you call me so we can get together to meet about what to do to fix this? Thanks a bunch! EdWIN ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ Writing • 123 LESSON 6 ANSWERS TO EXERCISE Suggested letter (answers may vary): Dear Ms. Gripe: Yesterday I met with Jack Jones concerning his trip to Detroit. He was frustrated with the new computer system. He states not only have his orders not been correct, but they have not been shipped on time. May I schedule a meeting with you as soon as possible to discuss measures to correct the problems? I would appreciate your prompt attention. Sincerely, EdWIN 124 • Writing LESSON 7 LISTENING AND WRITING How many of us need to improve our listening skills? … just about everyone. Have you ever been listening to a conversation and suddenly realize you did not hear half of what was said? This leads to misunderstanding and miscommunication. Oh yes, we all do it. Fortunately, this is a skill that we can improve. My, what big ears you have ... the better to hear you with my dear. In this level, I will review the basic steps to improving listening skills, but I want to focus on the importance the skills play in promoting effective writing and avoiding miscommunication. Listening manners are often overlooked or little considered. Have you ever been talking with someone and noticed that they are looking around the room, examining their nails, fidgeting, doodling on paper, or behaving in some other distracting manner? Boy, does that make you feel insignificant? This type of behavior is very rude, so try not to let yourself be guilty. Being a good listener makes the speaker feel comfortable and important. You never want to let someone feel as though his/her ideas and opinions are insignificant or trivial. Not to say that you must agree with or listen to endless commentary or complaint, but being polite is essential in all circumstances. There will be times when you must extricate yourself from a conversation, but methods of doing that we will leave to Miss Manners! Our focus in this lesson is to improve our own skills and learn methods for improving them. Writing • 125 LESSON 7 There are three guidelines to promote good manners when listening: 1. Look at the speaker. Focusing on the speaker shows your interest and helps you concentrate. 2. Sit comfortably and quietly. No fidgeting, whispering, or doodling is allowed. It will distract you and others and probably the speaker too. 3. Do not interrupt the speaker Interruptions make it harder to follow what is being said. If you have questions, wait until he/she is finished. If you are listening to a long speech or talk, jot down a note about your question; but, do it quickly and quietly so as not to cause a distraction. In addition to practicing listening manners, you will also need to practice certain techniques to become a good listener. 126 • Writing LESSON 7 These techniques are Examine, Anticipate, Remind, and Summarize (EARS). Examine: Examine the speaker’s purpose. Keep that purpose in mind as you listen. Anticipate: Try to ask yourself, “What point will be made next?” This will keep you listening actively. Remind: If your mind begins to wander, remind yourself of the purpose of the talk. This will help you return your attention to the speaker. Summarize: Try to summarize the speaker’s points from time to time. If possible, jot down briefly the speaker’s main ideas and points. This will help you recall them later. Other tips for listening are: Visualize – As you listen, form a mental picture of what you hear. Visualizing ideas usually helps you remember such factors as the order in which things happen. Motivate yourself to listen React – Your brain must be alert. Listening must be a totally active process. Taking notes is probably the best way to be sure. Concentrate – Listen with your whole mind focused. Writing • 127 LESSON 7 Organize through notes Comprehend – Totally understand what you hear. Understand the essential ideas and important principles, not just a collection of miscellaneous facts. Use repetition – Take notes and review them. Tips for remembering directions: Listen carefully. Visualize the directions as you hear them. Repeat the directions to the speaker to be sure you heard them correctly. Write or draw the directions. These techniques will help you not only if you are listening to a speech or talk, but also if you are just engaged in a conversation with someone. Now it only stands to reason that you will not be taking notes of a conversation in most cases, but you can always make mental notes of the exchange for later recall. When listening for specific instructions, learning these techniques and putting them into practice will be immeasurable. Being able to follow instructions may be a “make or break” situation for you. How long would you keep your job if you habitually did not complete assignments correctly because you did not follow the instructions? 128 • Writing LESSON 7 EdWIN ... on vacation. Following instructions requires including all details and taking the proper steps (usually in a particular order) to achieve the desired outcome. Always take notes on specific instructions, especially when they refer to an operation that you will be doing frequently. Then double check them to insure that you have not left out an important step or detail. This way, you can refer to your notes anytime during the assignment, and you will also have them for future reference. If it is a specific task that you will be performing on a regular basis, once you have repeated it a few times you will probably no longer need the notes. Always keep them in a safe place though, and never throw them away. There will undoubtedly be times when you are not available, and your co-workers will appreciate the fact that you have left written instructions. Effective writing must be based on correct and complete information. This links to listening and following direction skills in a very basic way. How can you relay specific instructions to anyone if you have not listened properly to those same instructions first? Impossible, of course. How can you write an informative or persuasive letter if you only know half of what you need to know? … or, if you have misunderstood some specific step or data necessary? Just think of the many possibilities that idea conjures up! … anything from a minor misunderstanding to a total meltdown quickly comes to mind! Writing • 129 LESSON 7 Houston ... we have a problem! I’ll give you a true-life example to illustrate my meaning. I am sure most of you know many of the details associated with the 1970 Apollo 13 moon flight from the movie of the same name. If you recall, the astronauts experienced a major explosion that created several life-threatening situations which they had to overcome in order to return home safely. One crisis concerned the air filters on the LEM (lunar excursion module). The LEM had been designed to support two people for a few hours, but instead it was necessary for it to support three people for three days as the astronauts used the it as a lifeboat for the return trip to earth. Because it was only designed to be used for a short amount of time, there were no replacement air filters available. To make matters worse, the only replacement filters available were the ones designed for the command module and they happened to be square while the LEM’s filter was round! Meanwhile, back on earth, the engineers at Houston were trying to put together a procedure to construct an emergency filter using the square filter designed for the command module. They had to use whatever components were available to the astronauts in space. If they failed, the astronauts were going to die from breathing poisonous carbon dioxide gas exhaled from their own lungs! Pretty critical, huh?! Well, the engineers came up with a solution which they thought would work. But, it depended upon the astronaut’s ability to build the emergency filter from verbal instructions relayed from mission control. 130 • Writing LESSON 7 If you know how the story ends, you know that the astronauts did, in fact, build the emergency filter and were able to successfully attach it to the LEM’s filter system. Happy ending! (That’s the kind I like!) Imagine how different the story would have ended if the astronauts had not been able to listen and follow instructions exactly as they were relayed to them! They had no time for misunderstanding or miscommunications. Their very lives were hanging in the balance as they were already beginning to develop symptoms of suffocation by the time they got the filter in place. Of course, it is not very likely that you will ever be in a life or death situation in the workplace where your listening skills will be tested to such an extent, but your job could depend on them. Develop your listening skills using the techniques discussed so that you will have complete and accurate information. Providing complete and accurate information is the first step to effective business writing! The difference could mean your employment, your credibility, your self-confidence, your reputation, your future, or even the health and safety of yourself or someone else. THAT’S how important it is! Writing • 131 LESSON 7 We have been discussing listening skills and their direct link to effective writing. What good would it do you to be able to listen effectively if you could not translate that skill to paper effectively? Not much, I wager! Well, in the following exercises we will attempt to put what we have learned into action. We completed some similar exercises in an earlier level, so if you have studied with me before, you will be familiar with the following concepts. As you read the passages, pretend you are listening to the information. Do not go back and reread them to answer the questions or do the exercises. Taking notes as you read is fine because that is one of the techniques we have studied to help you remember what you have heard. If you have to cover the paragraphs with a scrap of paper or your hand to keep from being tempted to look back, go ahead and do it. OK, ready to try it? 132 • Writing LESSON 7 EXERCISE – CLOSING DIRECTIONS – REQUESTING INFORMATION PART I – CLOSING DIRECTIONS Instructions: Read the passage carefully and answer the questions that follow on the next page. Instructions for closing up the store at night: 1. Lock the front door. 2. Take out the trash and lock the back. 3. Turn off display case lights. 4. Turn down thermostat. 5. Vacuum the carpet. 6. Turn off overhead lights. 7. Exit through the front door and activate the alarm. Writing • 133 LESSON 7 1. What is the first step in the instructions? ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ 2. Turning off the overhead lights is done when? ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ 3. To what do these instructions pertain? ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ 4. Do you turn off the outside lights? ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ 5. To whom would these instructions be given? ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ 134 • Writing LESSON 7 PART II – REQUEST FOR INTERVIEW Instructions: Read the following as though it is being given to you verbally. When you are finished, answer the questions. I recently was told that you may have an opening in your shipping department. I would like to request an interview at your earliest convenience to discuss the possibility of gaining employment. My experience includes ten years in shipping by common carrier, train, air freight, and others. Could you please have one of your staff contact me to set up an appointment? I would appreciate it very much. I hope to hear from you in the near future. Sincerely, EdWIN 6. Who is the audience? ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ 7. What is the purpose? ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ Writing • 135 LESSON 7 8. What is the speaker hoping to accomplish? ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ 9. What type of experience does the speaker have? ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ 10. What specific question(s) does the speaker ask? ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ 136 • Writing LESSON 7 ANSWERS TO EXERCISE 1. What is the first step in the instructions? Answer: 2. Turning off the overhead lights is done when? Answer: 3. to gain employment What is the speaker hoping to accomplish? Answer: 9. an employer What is the purpose? Answer: 8. Night clerks, closing manager, etc. Who is the audience? Answer: 7. No To whom would these instructions be given? Answer: 6. Closing of the store Do you turn off the outside lights? Answer: 5. Right before you exit. To what do these instructions pertain? Answer: 4. Lock the front door. an appointment for an interview What type of experience does the speaker have? Answer: shipping department experience 10. What specific question(s) does the speaker ask? Answer: May he schedule an appointment for an interview? Writing • 137 LESSON 7 EXERCISE – LISTENING TO A CONVERSATION Instructions: Read the dialogue and answer the following questions. Try not to look back when answering the questions. 1st Speaker: 2nd Speaker: 1st Speaker: 2nd Speaker: Hi, is Charlie in? No, he isn’t in right now. When will he be back? I’m expecting him in about an hour. 1st Speaker: Could I leave a message? 2nd Speaker: Certainly, let me get a pen. 2nd Speaker: OK, go ahead. 1st Speaker: Tell him that George called and is in town for business. I will be leaving on Wednesday. I would like to meet with him before I go back to Chicago. Have him call me at the Hotel Windsor, Room 1178. Leave a message if I’m not in and I will call him right back. Got all that? 2nd Speaker: 1st Speaker: 2nd Speaker: 138 • Writing Got it, George, Hotel Windsor, Room 1178, in town until Wednesday. Is that it? That’s it. Thanks a lot. You’re welcome. I’ll be sure to give him the message. LESSON 7 1. Who is the first speaker? ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ 2. Who is he calling? ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ 3. What is the purpose? ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ 4. Who is the second speaker? ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ 5. What is the message? ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ Writing • 139 LESSON 7 ANSWERS TO EXERCISE 1. Who is the first speaker? Answer: 2. Who is he calling? Answer: 3. To arrange a meeting Who is the second speaker? Answer: 5. Charlie What is the purpose? Answer: 4. George An operator, receptionist, or secretary, no name given (tried to trick you on that one!) What is the message? Answer: Call George at the Hotel Windsor, room 1178. Leave message if out. He wants to meet before Wednesday. Room 1178 140 • Writing LESSON 8 PARAGRAPH DEVELOPMENT Unity in your writing simply means sticking to the point. Once you have decided on the main idea of your paragraph, memo, letter, etc., don’t jump around to make other points. Stay with the central thought before you move on to another one. This does not mean that you cannot have more than one central thought in a writing assignment. You might be writing a long report that requires you to discuss several main ideas; you just have to remember to take them one at a time. This is where coherence comes into play. Coherence means that you make sense in your writing. There are three major points to consider in order to keep your writing sensible. Take note of the three major points of development. Related ideas all need to be together in the body of your letter, report, or document. For example, suppose you want to persuade someone to change the color and style of their company’s letterhead. You would want to keep all related ideas concerning your reasons about the change in the same paragraph(s) so that all of your thoughts would be presented in a sensible fashion. You would not want to give one or two of your ideas in the first paragraph, speak of something else in the second, and then follow with more reasons that relate back to the first paragraph in the third. This would not be coherent to your reader. Once you have presented all related ideas together, use effective and smooth transitions to go on to another central thought. We have discussed transitional words in a previous level, but I will review a few of them here to illustrate. Writing • 141 LESSON 8 A transitional word or expression simply means one that shows how ideas relate to one another. Transitional words or phrases are like a bridge that connects two sides of a river. They help you get from one idea to another in a sentence. They also bridge ideas within paragraphs and between paragraphs. Transitions help create flow and direction in a letter or report. They keep the document moving logically and clearly, and keep the reader’s attention. There is a variety of words that connect our sentences and show different relationships. Consider the following list of transitional words to see what I mean. LINK THOUGHTS again, also, and then, besides, further, next, furthermore, in addition, last, likewise, moreover COMPARE LIKE IDEAS also, as well as, in the same way, likewise, resembling, similarly CONTRAST IDEAS after all, although, but, conversely, even though, granted, however, in contrast to, in spite of, nevertheless, on the contrary, on the other hand, otherwise, still, yet 142 • Writing LESSON 8 SHOW SEQUENCE AND TIME after, afterwards, at the same time, before, during, earlier, first, second, following, in the first place, last, later, simultaneously, while, soon, now, later, at length, in the meantime SHOW CAUSE AND EFFECT accordingly, as a consequence of, as a result of, because, consequently, hence, it follows that, since, then, therefore, thus EMPHASIZE certainly, clearly, indeed, in fact, surely, to be sure, truly, undoubtedly, without a doubt SUMMARIZE consequently, finally, in brief, in conclusion, in short, in sum, thus, to sum up ESTABLISH PLACE here, beyond, nearby, opposite to, adjacent to, on the opposite side SOURCES: HARBRACE COLLEGE HANDBOOK, 11TH EDITION (1990) WHEN WORDS COLLIDE, 2ND EDITION (1988) Logical order must also be considered. If you are assigned with writing an instructional document, you surely wouldn’t list the steps out of sequence: step three, then step nine, then step four, and so forth. The same principle applies when writing for other purposes. Writing • 143 LESSON 8 If you have only one central thought to convey, start with the related ideas in the order of what you feel is most important. Follow in order until you have completed the ideas. If you have more than one main idea to convey, again, start with the one that you want to be considered first. Then follow with your related ideas (in order of importance), and then make an effective transition to the next main idea. Follow this pattern until you have covered all of the central thoughts, from most important to least important. This will ensure that you have covered all of your points effectively and in a logical order. Paragraph development also plays a major role in unity and coherence. There are several different methods for development. Most of them are fairly selfexplanatory, but look briefly at each one. Many times only one method will provide the format you need for a specific project, but there are occasions when more than one type can be used effectively to do the same job. PARAGRAPH DEVELOPMENT METHODS • Details and examples: This method employs the use of specific details, and gives examples to support those details. • Comparison/contrast: This method will show comparison using transitional expressions such as also, likewise, similarly, and in the same way. Contrast will use expressions such as although, but, even though, however, in contrast, nevertheless, etc. This method will focus on pointing out the pros and cons of your central thought. 144 • Writing LESSON 8 • Definition: This method will define terms, conditions, ideas, etc., that you want to clarify or expand upon. • Cause and effect: This method will demonstrate cause and effect using the if/then concept. For example: If you balance your checkbook, then you may continue to write checks. • Analysis: This method employs examination, inquiry, investigation, study or testing results, etc., for your paragraph format. • Classification: In this method, specific arrangement or categorization will be used to illustrate the main thought of your paragraph. As you can see, there are several different methods you can use to express your ideas or to convey information in your writing. The main point to remember is not to “mix methods” within a paragraph. If you start out a paragraph using cause and effect, do not switch to definition in the middle. Instead, use a smooth transition into a new paragraph where you can use the definition method if desired. If you don’t follow this guideline, unity and coherence will fly out the window! Let’s practice now. Writing • 145 LESSON 8 EXERCISE – PARAGRAPH DEVELOPMENT Instructions: Answer the following questions 1. To ensure coherence in your writing, keep ________ ideas together. a. detailed b. related 2. To ensure coherence in your writing, use effective ________ . a. transitions b. conjunctions 3. To ensure coherence in your writing, keep a ________ . a. logical order b. instructional order 4. Which is a method of paragraph development? a. details and examples b. planning and drafting 5. Which is a method of paragraph development? a. emphasize/summarize b. comparison/contrast 6. Which is a method of paragraph development? a. summary b. definition 146 • Writing LESSON 8 7. Which is a method of paragraph development? a. cause and effect b. explanation 8. Which is a method of paragraph development? a. mixed method b. analysis 9. Which is a method of paragraph development? a. classification b. assessment Writing • 147 LESSON 8 ANSWERS TO EXERCISE – PARAGRAPH DEVELOPMENT 1. To ensure coherence in your writing, keep ________ ideas together. a. detailed b. related Answer: 2. b – This enables the reader to fully understand the point you are trying to get across. To ensure coherence in your writing, use effective ________ . a. transitions b. conjunctions Answer: 3. a – Use effective transitions to go on to another central thought. Transitional words show how ideas relate to one another. To ensure coherence in your writing, keep a ________ . a. logical order b. instructional order Answer: 4. a – If you are assigned with writing an instructional order, you wouldn’t list step 3 first and step 1 second and so on. The same rule applies when writing for other purposes. Which is a method of paragraph development? a. details and examples b. planning and drafting Answer: 148 • Writing a – The paragraph development of details and examples employs the use of specific details, and gives examples to support those details. LESSON 8 5. Which is a method of paragraph development? a. emphasize/summarize b. comparison/contrast Answer: 6. b – Comparison/contrast is a method of paragraph development. This method will focus on pointing out the pros and cons of your central thought. Which is a method of paragraph development? a. summary b. definition Answer: 7. b – This method will define terms, conditions, ideas, etc., that you want to clarify or expand upon. Which is a method of paragraph development? a. cause and effect b. explanation Answer: 8. a – This method will demonstrate cause and effect using the “if/then” concept. For example: ‘If’ you balance your checkbook, ‘then’ you may continue to write checks. Which is a method of paragraph development? a. mixed method b. analysis Answer: b – Analysis is a method that employs examination, inquiry, investigation, study or testing results, etc., for your paragraph format. It is important not to mix methods. Therefore, answer (a) is not correct because mixing methods within a paragraph would not be using a smooth transition. Writing • 149 LESSON 8 9. Which is a method of paragraph development? a. classification b. assessment Answer: 150 • Writing a – In the classification method, specific arrangement of categorization will be used to illustrate the main thought of your paragraph. LESSON 8 EXERCISE – WRITING WITH UNITY AND COHERENCE Instructions: Read the following paragraph and rewrite it using the concepts of unity and coherence. The meeting was held in the main boardroom on April 21. The topics of discussion included the budget for the upcoming year, the new computer system, and the cost overruns on the construction of the new offices. Meeting was called to order by the president. Meeting was adjourned after old business was discussed. There was no new business. A committee was formed to study cost overruns. New officers were introduced. Old business was called for. Minutes were read by the secretary. They were voted on and approved. A motion was made to form a committee to study the cost overruns. The motion was seconded and voted upon and passed. ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ Writing • 151 This page was intentionally left blank. 152 • Writing LESSON 8 ANSWER TO EXERCISE Suggested rewrite (answers may vary): The meeting was held in the main boardroom on April 21. The meeting was called to order by the president. Last month’s minutes were read by the secretary, voted on, and approved. Old business was called for. The topics of discussion included the budget for the upcoming year, the new computer system, and the cost overruns on the construction of the new offices. A motion was made to form a committee to study the cost overruns. The motion was seconded, voted upon, and passed. A committee was formed to study the overruns. The meeting was adjourned after the old business was discussed. There was no new business. OK, how did you do? I know I didn’t follow parliamentary procedure to the letter, but the main idea was for you to unscramble the meeting minutes into a more coherent form. If you had trouble, go back and rewrite it. If you think your version is better than mine, then that’s great. Writing • 153 LESSON 8 EXERCISE – TRANSITION RELATIONSHIPS Instructions: Look at the following sentences and identify the transitional words or phrases and the relationship(s) they show. For example: Emilio followed procedure to file an insurance claim; however, it took weeks before he received payment. Transitions: however 1. Relationship: contrasts ideas Yesterday we attended a conference on aging, in addition to one on geriatric medicine. ____________________________________________________________ 2. Consequently, we learned much about the subjects. ____________________________________________________________ 3. Afterward, we were treated to a nice dinner by our hosts. ____________________________________________________________ 4. We were clearly impressed by the fine treatment we received. ____________________________________________________________ 5. Therefore, we hope to attend again next year. ____________________________________________________________ 154 • Writing LESSON 8 ANSWERS TO EXERCISE 1. Yesterday we attended a conference on aging, in addition to one on geriatric medicine. Answer: 2. Consequently, we learned much about the subjects. Answer: 3. afterward — to show time or sequence We were clearly impressed by the fine treatment we received. Answer: 5. consequently — shows cause and effect Afterward, we were treated to a nice dinner by our hosts. Answer: 4. in addition to — link thoughts clearly — to emphasize Therefore, we hope to attend again next year. Answer: therefore — show cause and effect Writing • 155 LESSON 8 EXERCISE – TRANSITIONAL WORDS IN MEMOS Instructions: Using the following information write a memo using transitional words or phrases. meeting next Tuesday committee to consider health insurance benefit changes members to discuss ideas concerning subject 9:00 a.m., conference room ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ 156 • Writing LESSON 8 ANSWERS TO EXERCISE Suggested Memo (answers may vary): To: From: Date: All Committee Members EdWIN Today Subject: Health Insurance Benefits We will be holding our first meeting to discuss possible changes in health insurance benefits next Tuesday at 9:00 a.m. in the conference room. As a result of escalating costs, we will be considering possible changes in our health insurance coverage. We certainly need to consider all of our options. Please be prepared to discuss your ideas as to how we can cut expenses and provide appropriate coverage for employees. Before the meeting, please review the proposed policies. Compare your memo with mine. I know they will be very different but the main idea is to be coherent, organized, and in logical order. Writing • 157 LESSON 8 EXERCISE – COMPARISON AND CONTRAST Instructions: Using comparison/contrast paragraph development, take the following information and write a paragraph. Subject: How to cut costs on the construction of the new offices Idea to consider: Use less expensive furniture and decorating ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ 158 • Writing LESSON 8 ANSWER TO EXERCISE Suggested paragraph (answers may vary): I would like to suggest that we use less expensive furniture and decorations in the new offices. Even though the furniture and decorative items will be a little less luxurious, we can still buy nice furnishings for the offices without having to sacrifice quality. We stand to save several thousands of dollars if we rethink and revise the original plans in regard to the furnishings. Notice I used the words even though as my transitional phrase to show comparison/contrast. Which one(s) did you use? Writing • 159 LESSON 9 PROOFREADING AND PEER EDITING Earlier in this level we discussed briefly the proofreading aspect of writing organization in the revising stage. In this lesson, we will review a proofreading checklist and focus on peer editing. Once you have the content of your communication the way you want it, check for spelling, capitalization, sentence structure, subject/verb agreement, punctuation, typos, and anything else that is in error. You will probably have to read it more than once to be sure there are no mistakes you overlooked. It will also help if you can lay it aside and work on something else for a few minutes. Then go back and check it once again. Many times an overlooked error or needed change will “jump out” when you read it after a short break. Go back and proofread after you take a break. 160 • Writing LESSON 9 You may also want a co-worker to look over your work before you present it as a finished document. This is called “peer editing” and can be very useful. An extra eye will spot something in many cases that you just didn’t catch, possibly an awkward phrase, an unnecessary word, etc. The basic strategies for successful editing consists of asking some pertinent questions regarding the communication. I am providing a basic guideline for you to follow. PROOFREADING CHECKLIST √ Who is the intended audience? √ What is the intended purpose? √ Has unity and coherence been achieved, or could it use a little further revision? √ Have effective transitions been used? √ What were the desired results? √ Were the desired results achieved? √ Is the language overblown, vague, or too technical? √ To the best of your knowledge, is the information complete and accurate? Writing • 161 LESSON 9 There are a couple of other things to remember when you have a peer look over your work. First of all, don’t be defensive if your co-worker points out errors you may have made. After all, that’s why you asked; so, don’t be too sensitive in this respect. In fact, it would be my advice to choose, if possible, someone who has some knowledge of your writing style and can give constructive rather than destructive criticism. You certainly don’t want someone who will “nitpick” you to death because they write in a totally different style or could have some ulterior motive for finding fault. (I’m sorry to say that it does happen.) On the other side of the coin, if you are the peer editor, remember the golden rule. Be considerate when pointing out any problems you might find in your coworker’s writing. Take into consideration their writing style when reading their work. Don’t expect it to be written as you would write it. That is not the purpose of peer editing. If it were, you might as well do the job yourself. Use the previous guidelines, then check for the basics of grammar, spelling, typos, etc. Point out any errors you find in a non-judgmental way. The object is to help your co-worker, not destroy their selfconfidence by grinding them into a pulp! OK. That’s all I have to say for this level. I know it has been pretty detailed, so take the time you need to review and study. 162 • Writing LESSON 9 EXERCISE – PROOFREADING Instructions: Use the proofreading guidelines to correct the following documents. 1. Date: Apr. 22, 1998 To: mr. Sam Jackson From: acct. dept. Subject: time sheets Dear Sam: We have not received your time sheets for the month of april. Have you been sending them? Better check your records. Let me know what you find. Sincerely, EdWIN ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ Writing • 163 LESSON 9 2. Durint last mont’s meeting, one of the accounting clerks Mr. Jones told to us that he was having a devil of a time using the new accounting software that was purchased for the computers to be installed upon. He said that he thought that it wasn’t so much the sofware as that no one knows exactly how to use it. He made a reqest that someone from the co. come and train the cleraks. ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ 164 • Writing LESSON 9 3. April 22, 1998 Mr. j. Jones abc compnay Detroit, Il. 60689 Jack: Just a note to let you know that I have set up the monthly sales meeitn at the Hilton hotel conference room number 1 for May 6th. Would you get back with me to let me know if this date and place is aok? Oh, by the wat, meeting time is 9:00 AM. Sincerly, John ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ Writing • 165 LESSON 9 ANSWERS TO EXERCISE 1. Suggested letter (answers may vary): Notice that this is a memo, but the body is written in a letter style. Check for spelling, punctuation, etc. (Your answer will vary.) Date: April 22, 1998 To: Mr. Sam Jackson From: Accounting Department Subject: Time sheets We have not received your time sheets for the entire month of April. Please check your records to see what hours you have worked, and get back with us with your findings before payday. 166 • Writing LESSON 9 2. Suggested letter (answers may vary): First of all, who is the audience of this letter? We don’t know, do we? Also, to what monthly meeting is it referring? This example is incomplete (and not very well written, either.) Use your own ideas to make it better. Here is my version. Dear Vandy: During the last monthly accounting department meeting, it was brought to our attention by Mr. Jones that there were problems with the new accounting software. He felt the confusion was due to a lack of training using this particular program. Could we possibly get someone from the software company to come and train the accounting department employees on this software? I believe this would be a tremendous help in orienting the accounting department staff to the new software. I would appreciate your reply as soon as possible. Thanks, EdWIN, Accounting Department Manager Writing • 167 LESSON 9 3. Suggested letter (answers may vary): April 22, 1998 Mr. Jack Jones ABC Company Detroit, MI 60689 Dear Mr. Jones: Please be aware that I have scheduled the monthly sales meeting for May 6 at the Hilton Hotel, Conference Room #1 at 9:00 a.m. Please contact me if this date and time is not convenient for you, and I will make the necessary changes. Sincerely, John Dillon Regional Sales Office 168 • Writing LESSON 10 Well, that concludes Level 4 of Writing. I hope I have been informative and helpful to you. That is my goal, after all! If you feel unsure about any of the objectives we have covered, go back and review because I am about to test your knowledge of this level! Surprise! … or, maybe not, if you have been studying with me before! The answer key is located at the end of the Posttest, but answer all of the questions by yourself before you look. Remember, you can always go back and study again if you do not do well the first time around. Good luck! Don’t Peek! Writing • 169 LESSON 10 EXERCISE – POSTTEST PART I Instructions: Complete the following exercises using coordinating, correlative, and subordinating conjunctions. Underline the coordinating or correlative conjunctions in the following sentences. 1. She and I left the building. 2. Was it you or him on night shift? 3. Neither they nor we understood why our product has defects. 4. The plant has both a cafeteria and a snack bar. 5. The competition never slows or quits. 6. Not only does she sing, but she also plays the piano. 7. The station wagon needed both oil and gas. 8. We have had foggy mornings but sunny afternoons lately. 9. She worked quickly and efficiently. 10. It is a tragedy that some people can neither read nor write. 170 • Writing POSTTEST Instructions: Underline the subordinating conjunctions in the following sentences. Then write the independent clause that it connects. 11. Unless we leave right away, we will be late. ____________________________________________________________ 12. I could not go because I had the flu. ____________________________________________________________ 13. You may be selected as team leader since you have communications skills. ____________________________________________________________ 14. Although the day was cold and damp, we enjoyed our trip to the beach. ____________________________________________________________ 15. John will be ready as soon as he gets his coat. ____________________________________________________________ 16. If you are willing to wait in long lines, you will be able to get a ticket. ____________________________________________________________ 17. Someone stole his car while he was in the department store. ____________________________________________________________ 18. Even if you go early, you will have to fight the crowds. ____________________________________________________________ Writing • 171 POSTTEST 19. He spoke as though he knew what he was talking about. ____________________________________________________________ 20. We always have a good time whenever we go out. ____________________________________________________________ Instructions: Answer the following questions. 21. What are the four Cs? ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ 22. What should you ask yourself when considering purpose and audience in your writing? ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ 23. Name at least four things that can cause your writing to be overblown and vague. ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ 24. What are the three main steps in the writing process? ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ 172 • Writing POSTTEST 25. What are four parts of the planning phase? ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ 26. Name two parts of revising. ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ 27. Why should business writing be kept in a formal tone? ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ 28. Explain the link between good listening skills and effective writing. ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ 29. What rules should you follow to ensure coherence in your writing? ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ 30. Name at least four methods of paragraph development. ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ Writing • 173 POSTTEST PART II Instructions: How would you organize your notes if you heard the following message via voice mail? 31. Kellie, while I am out of the office, I would like for you to stock the empty four-shelf storage cabinet in the following manner. All instructions are given left to right. On the top shelf, I would like the red notebooks containing policy updates. Next to those, I want the empty file folders, and next to that, I would like the packages of labels. On the second shelf, left to right, I want rubber bands, jumbo paper clips, standard paper clips, black ball point pens, red ball point pens, and standard staples. On the third shelf, please place message pads, legal pads, and 10” X 13” clasp envelopes. Finally, on the fourth shelf, please stock index cards and extra paper for the copy machine. Thanks for your help, and I will see you in the morning. Notes: ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ 174 • Writing POSTTEST Instructions: Revise the following memo to a supervisor. Concentrate on improving conciseness, but also make any other changes you feel appropriate. 32. Along the lines of parking, please be advised that the problem of parking continues to exist. Prior to this date, this problem has been faced by us for years. With respect to the issue at hand, as you know, the new lot which was built behind Building C during the present year added a quantity of no more than thirty spaces for parking, at the most. In view of the circumstances, I sincerely feel it is time that I say something. When I find myself coming to work, there is never a space in order that I might park my car. It always takes a considerable amount of time in order that I might do the aforementioned job of parking. Please be advised that subsequent to this notification, I have also spoken with many other individuals employed by our great company. They, in a similar manner, feel much the same as I do about this matter. We all feel this is an issue of extreme and of the utmost importance. In view of the circumstances as outlined before you at this juncture in time, if you feel the necessity to discuss this further, please contact me in care of the department of research. Your attention to this memorandum is deeply appreciated in response to this initial request from me to your attention. Writing • 175 POSTTEST ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ 176 • Writing POSTTEST ANSWERS TO EXERCISE 1. She and I left the building. Answer: and 2. Was it you or him on night shift? Answer: or 3. Neither they nor we understood why our product has defects. Answer: neither/nor 4. The plant has both a cafeteria and a snack bar. Answer: both/and 5. The competition never slows or quits. Answer: or 6. Not only does she sing, but she also plays the piano. Answer: not only/but/also 7. The station wagon needed both oil and gas. Answer: both/and 8. We have had foggy mornings but sunny afternoons lately. Answer: but 9. She worked quickly and efficiently. Answer: and Writing • 177 POSTTEST 10. It is a tragedy that some people can neither read nor write. Answer: neither/nor 11. Unless we leave right away, we will be late. Answer: We will be late. 12. I could not go because I had the flu. Answer: I could not go. 13. You may be selected as team leader since you have communications skills. Answer: You may be selected as team leader. 14. Although the day was cold and damp, we enjoyed our trip to the beach. Answer: We enjoyed our trip to the beach. 15. John will be ready as soon as he gets his coat. Answer: John will be ready. 16. If you are willing to wait in long lines, you will be able to get a ticket. Answer: You will be able to get a ticket. 17. Someone stole his car while he was in the department store. Answer: Someone stole his car. 18. Even if you go early, you will have to fight the crowds. Answer: 178 • Writing You will have to fight the crowds. POSTTEST 19. He spoke as though he knew what he was talking about. Answer: He spoke. 20. We always have a good time whenever we go out. Answer: We always have a good time. 21. What are the four Cs? Answer: clear, concise, correct, conversational 22. What should you ask yourself when considering purpose and audience in your writing? Answer: What is it that I need to convey? Who will be reading this? 23. Name at least four things that can cause your writing to be overblown and vague. Answer: Any of the following: unnecessary phrases, redundant terms, clichés, extraneous adjectives and adverbs, euphemisms, idioms, jargon, technical terms, or couples 24. What are the three main steps in the writing process? Answer: planning, drafting, revise/rewrite 25. What are four parts of the planning phase? Answer: Know your audience and purpose. Get your ideas on paper. Narrow your topic. Determine your main idea. Writing • 179 POSTTEST 26. Name two parts of revising. Answer: revise/rewrite, proofread 27. Why should business writing be kept in a formal tone? Answer: Formality precludes any presumption of inappropriate familiarity, increases credibility, shows respect for reader and his title or position, and shows that you write with the reader in mind. 28. Explain the link between good listening skills and effective writing. Answer: Correct and effective writing links with listening skills in a very basic way. Without well developed listening and following directions skills, it would be impossible to relate important information. This could have many negative effects ranging from minor to major consequences. 29. What rules should you follow to ensure coherence in your writing? Answer: Keep related ideas together, use effective transitions, and keep a logical order. 30. Name at least four methods of paragraph development. Answer: 180 • Writing Any four of the following: details and examples, compare/ contrast, definition, cause and effect, analysis, or classification POSTTEST PART II 31. Kellie, while I am out of the office, I would like for you to stock the empty four-shelf storage cabinet in the following manner. All instructions are given left to right. On the top shelf, I would like the red notebooks containing policy updates. Next to those, I want the empty file folders, and next to that, I would like the packages of labels. On the second shelf, left to right, I want rubber bands, jumbo paper clips, standard paper clips, black ball point pens, red ball point pens, and standard staples. On the third shelf, please place message pads, legal pads, and 10” x 13” clasp envelopes. Finally, on the fourth shelf, please stock index cards and extra paper for the copy machine. Thanks for your help, and I will see you in the morning. Suggested notes: Writing • 181 POSTTEST 32. Along the lines of parking, please be advised that the problem of parking continues to exist. Prior to this date, this problem has been faced by us for years. With respect to the issue at hand, as you know, the new lot which was built behind Building C during the present year added a quantity of no more than thirty spaces for parking, at the most. In view of the circumstances, I sincerely feel it is time that I say something. When I find myself coming to work, there is never a space in order that I might park my car. It always takes a considerable amount of time in order that I might do the aforementioned job of parking. Please be advised that subsequent to this notification, I have also spoken with many other individuals employed by our great company. They, in a similar manner, feel much the same as I do about this matter. We all feel this is an issue of extreme and of the utmost importance. In view of the circumstances as outlined before you at this juncture in time, if you feel the necessity to discuss this further, please contact me in care of the department of research. Your attention to this memorandum is deeply appreciated in response to this initial request from me to your attention. Answer: To: From: Date: Supervisor I. M. Unhappy, Dept. of Research Today Subject: Parking Please be aware that the parking problem continues to exist. I am appreciative of the new lot behind Building C, but the additional 30 or so parking spaces do not resolve the problem. Many of my co-workers agree with me that we waste too much time searching daily for parking spaces. Please let me know if I can be of assistance as you continue to seek a solution to this problem. 182 • Writing CALCULATING YOUR SCORE Calculate your score for Part I counting the number of questions you answered correctly in this section. If a problem asked you to list several items or steps and you missed one or more, count the question as answered incorrectly. Divide the number of your correct answers by 30. Change the decimal answer to a percentage by moving the decimal two places to the right. Make sure you did well on Part II of the posttest since the ACT Workkeys® Writing assessment will be contain writing samples similar to these passages. Writing • 183 SUMMARY Well, how did you do on the posttest? If you scored 93% or higher, you have a reasonable chance to pass Level 4 of the ACT WorkKeys® Writing assessment. Remember the basics of writing that we have discussed, listen carefully to each message, and you will do fine. You may want to complete Level 5 with me before you take the Assessment. Now don’t be discouraged if you scored below 93%. There is a lot of information to remember. Practice the exercises in this course. You can do it! And, your enhanced work skills will pay off in the long run. Practice makes perfect. Take time to review the Test-Taking Tips provided at the end of this workbook. Good luck improving your work skills and attaining your goals! You should be proud of your progress! 184 • Writing REFERENCE EDWIN’S TEST-TAKING TIPS Preparing for the test . . . Complete appropriate levels of the WIN Instruction Solution self-study courses. Practice your writing skills until you feel comfortable with your ability to listen to a message, take notes, and compose written messages conveying what you have heard. Get a good night’s rest the night before the test and eat a healthy breakfast on test day. Your body (specifically your mind) works better when you take good care of it. Allow adequate time to arrive at the test site. Being in a rush or arriving late will likely upset your concentration when you actually take the test. The answers must be written in blue or black ink, so if you have a favorite pen, you may want to take it with you. However, the test administrator will have pens available for your use. About the test . . . Writing and listening skills are both assessed in one test, but are scored separately. You will listen to an audiotape of work-related messages and compose written messages to communicate the information to someone else. You are asked to play the role of an employee who receives messages from customers, co-workers, and suppliers. The ACT WorkKeys® Writing assessment will not measure accuracy or completeness of message. Scoring will be based on writing mechanics, such as sentence structure and grammar, and on your writing style. Listening score is based on the accuracy of the message. The ACT WorkKeys® Writing assessment includes 6 workplace communications that begin with one speaker’s brief message; gradually, the messages become longer, more detailed, and include two speakers. You will listen to each message twice and are encouraged to take notes as you listen. You will be given 2 to 6 minutes to write your version of each message after the second reading; the time is dependent upon the difficulty of the message. There will be adequate time to write your responses to each message if you have taken proper notes as you listen. You may work on previous messages at any time during the test. The entire ACT WorkKeys® Writing assessment takes approximately 40 minutes. Writing • 185 REFERENCE Make sure your work is legible for the grader to read your work. Since you must write in pen, you will not be able to erase. Do not worry if you have to mark out mistakes. Cross through the incorrect word one time (mistake) without making a mess (mistake). You will not be penalized for marking through words to correct sentences. During the test . . . Listen to the instructions carefully. Do not hesitate to ask the administrator questions if you do not understand what to do. Make sure you can hear the audiotape clearly from where you are sitting. Your test booklet will provide space for you to take notes and for you to compose your written messages. Do not try to write every word that is spoken on the audiotape. As you listen, write key words in your notes to help you remember what is being said. Please notice that the workplace situation does not include you, so your written messages should not include the word “I.” Remember also to avoid writing or drawing anything on the message page that is not appropriate for the business setting. Dealing with test anxiety . . . Being prepared is one of the best ways to reduce test anxiety. Study the WIN Instruction Solution course material. Practice will increase confidence in your writing and reduce your test anxiety. Do not think negatively about the test. The story about the “little engine that could” is true. You must, “think you can, think you can, think you can.” If you prepare yourself by writing clear, concise, and complete sentences, there is no reason why you cannot be successful. Don’t get discouraged; be persistent. It is easy to become frustrated on this test while listening to details. If you do not remember names or dates, then make up information in order to write clear, concise sentences. If you do not do well with one workplace situation, do not let that interfere with how you do on the next ones. 186 • Writing REFERENCE If you have extra time after one message, you may go back and check punctuation, spelling, etc. from other messages. If time allows, ask yourself the following proofreading questions: • • • • • Does each sentence begin with a capital letter? Does each sentence have ending punctuation? Have you used “I” in the message? If so, and you have time, change this. Is there a subject and a verb in each sentence? Do the subject and verb agree? Prior to the test, relax, close your eyes, take several deep breaths, and think of a relaxing place or a favorite activity. Visualize this setting for a minute or two before the test is administered. Studying with a partner is another way to overcome test anxiety. Encouragement from each other helps to increase your confidence. Writing • 187 REFERENCE RESOURCES ACT, Inc. (1994). WorkKeys® Targets for Instruction: Writing. Iowa City, IA: ACT. 188 • Writing WIN Career Readiness Courseware - ©2008 Worldwide Interactive Network, Inc. All rights reserved. Worldwide Interactive Network, Inc. 1000 Waterford Place Kingston, TN 37763 Toll-free 888.717.9461 Fax 865.717.9461 www.w-win.com
