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Sidereal Signs
Sidereal Signs
A free Brooklyn newsletter about astrology
is a monthly publication by siderealsigns.com
FIRST CLASS MAIL
hats courtesy of villagehatshop.com
Hiroko Sakai Fine Art
SIDEREAL CANCER
JULY 16 - AUG 15
“Wear your character as lightly as you
would change your hat” is a saying at
Chicago’s Second City, but it also really
relates to the outlook of the Moon sign.
Sidereal Cancers (July 16-Aug 16) are the
ones wearing the funny hats—to distract
and direct attention to them and their
coterie of eccentric characters. We can
become a bit-player in their sanguine,
albeit very romantic, daily soap opera.
Cancer wears the hat to disarm
predators, attract mates, and bemuse
onlookers, but also, for adornment. They
like to shroud themselves in the colors of
their moods. Cancers rule by seduction,
histrionics and artifice, they win
emotional manipulation games and
staged confrontations. All of their energy
is bound into this Kabuki play. The hat
may be sexy, absurdist or denote rank,
but the process is as serious as cancer.
The hat transcends a Cancer into a
powerful amulet, while obscuring his or
her intentions. Cancers can subtly draw
attention away from themselves and
towards their objective, by staging the
theatrics to win us over, to pull us in, to
disarm us and make us pliable. The hat
is needed to obliquely empower Cancer,
one of their main remedies for their
deeper, unscripted insecurities.
Cancers are the actors of the Zodiac.
Their emotions range from mother love
to prehistoric instinct. The Moon
controls how they feel, so they alter their
outer shell to suit the situation. The
image of Cancer is the crab, hard on the
outside, soft on the inside. The crab is
always guarded, always shielded from
page 2
ACCURATE ASTROLOGY
Astrology won’t work for you until you know your real sign
villagehatshop.com
CANCER
WEARS THE
FUNNY
HAT
danger. If confronted. Cancer will fade
before an open fight, but return again
from the rear to defend the homeland.
Like the crab, Cancers move obliquely to
get what they want, never in a straight
line. The hard shell and glittering eyes is
all you’ll see of circling Cancer. Agitated
Cancers will snap their claws at you in
anger, and flank you in a dance of
defiance. Once Cancer does clamp down,
you can’t get loose, they can’t let go; we
are helpless in their version of the
Vulcan death grip.
Cancer is a heady mix of the collective
unconscious’ wish to dominate and the
human instinct to serve as a partner in a
family. Family love is for all; not just the
Other. Cancer is often caught crossing
boundaries if it tries too hard to control
things. For the Cancer, love means to
consume; to assimilate. Cancer is the
best of the family, inclusion, and the
worst part: slavery. Likewise, Cancer
ideas about managing households,
rasing kids and living in enlarged
communal groups run the gamut.
As for the growing movement away from
the failed nuclear family, and toward
communal living, Cancer will be the glue
that keeps alternate lifestyles viable.
Who else can reach out to all the
disparate elements of the group better
than Cancers? They grow on us, like a
clinging vine, an acquired taste, like a
friendly moss or a fatal fungi. The
Cancer sensibility for family and
community shows up as unconditional
love, the basic elements of faith and
hope. So let them have their fun.
MOST PEOPLE ARE NOT THE SIGN THEY THINK THEY ARE
The entire body of Western astrology is calculated using a flawed navigational chart—the Tropical
system. Those calculations are off by 24 degrees­—almost an entire sign. To correct this error, this
publication uses a more accurate system, the SIDEREAL ephemeris, also known by the name of its
founders, the Fagan-Bradley method. This system correctly assigns the right astrological sign to the
actual movement of the Sun as it passes through the Zodiac. It charts the factual natal positions.
THE TROPICAL TRIBULATION
The last time Tropical astrology was correct was around 221 A.C.E., when Ptolemy­—the Roman
mathematician who designed modern astrology­— decided to ignore the precession of the
equinoxes, a small but significant interruption in the earth’s forward rotation. From that point on,
all Western astrological calculations have gained an extra, unwarranted degree every 72 years.
EVERY astrological chart using the Tropical ephemeris contains this flaw, now causing an error of
+24 degrees in all the stated positions of the angles and planets. Sidereal astrology factors in the
precession of the equinoxes, and most people are revealed to be the previous Sun sign.
SIDEREAL ASTROLOGY IS ASTRONOMICALLY CORRECT
Sidereal astrology remedies Ptolemy’s oversight. Sidereal realigns the map to reflect the sky as it
really is. Like observation-based Vedic astrology, Sidereal astrology reckons celestial longitude from
the positions of the distant fixed stars rather than the vernal equinox. With an accurate system to
work with, we use the planets’ real positions for a more scientific inquiry into their phenomena.
THE RIGHT MATH MAKES AN ANCIENT SCIENCE WORK AGAIN
Using Sidereal locations, astrology can become a credible sociological tool and a reliable personal
helpmate for the modern age. This is what the creators of astrology had in mind: a way for us to
learn about our connection with the Universe, by beckoning us to look outwards, away from our
navels and to the stars, to discover and comprehend our small part in a vast fabric of time and
space. Thus, astrology uses archetypes, mythical heros and villains, even our own narratives, to
help us track an otherwise ineffable map of galactic influence on our lives. Astrology needs to be
as accurate as astronomy, or we lose the possibility of making the right judgement call in a system
already replete with unknowns. Why have a known error throw us off the trail?
CALCULATE YOUR NEW SIDEREAL BIRTH CHART, LET US KNOW WHAT YOU THINK
See for yourself. Once you see a more accurate thumbnail of yourself, you’ll agree, it’s a better fit.
The truth, it is correctly noted, is the most beautiful. Contact us to learn your real Sidereal sign, or
go to the astro.com website to calculate your own natal chart. Note that you’ll have to change the
option in the “system” field to Fagan-Bradley, instead of Tropical. Recalculate according to your
birth date, time and place. What do you think? Email us with your thoughts, criticisms, reactions.
Go to our website, siderealsigns.com for more about Sidereal. You can also email
[email protected] if you have questions or comments. Thanks for your attention!
page 15
Your Psycho Boss by Ivana
, Aries: April 15 g Libra: October 16
b Taurus: May 16
Fat, lazy indulgent slob. Refuses to hand you
that folder because she “doesn’t feel like
walking around the desk”.
c Gemini: June 16
Sick manipulative witch. Quite literally. Thinks
sex and black magic are great methods for
getting a promotion. Watch your back.
i Sagittarius: Dec. 16
d Cancer: July 16
a Capricorn: January 16
e
Insecure little boy who spends all his time
explaining to his employees how amazing
and talented he is. Thinks his responsibility
in his business begins and ends with saying
“I’m the boss” all day long.
Sick perfectionist workaholic who finds the
ultimate inspiration in Stalin and takes pride
in making her subordinates miserable. Feels
joy only when she makes those beneath her
suicidal.
w
Aquarius: Feb. 14
Unstable aloof wacko who thinks that helping
one employee means stepping on ten others.
Eccentric more preoccupied with socializing
than doing his job. Always, ALWAYS right.
f Virgo: September 16 . Pisces: March 15
Never satisfied perfectionist nitpicky worrier
who doesn’t have a life outside of work and
is pathetic enough to be proud of it. All dates are for Sidereal signs
page 14
Saturn-Pluto and your boss..... page 7
Obama: good or bad mom?.... page 8
Cancer Quotes..................... page 11
Old Leo, New Cancer............ page 12
h Scorpio: November 16
Big mouthed opinioned asshole who thinks
it’s his mission in life to convert you to his
religion. Hypocrite who spends the time he
should be working gambling and doing his
mistress while fronting as a good husband
and father.
Leo: August 16
How Cancer Grows................ page 4
Lazy indecisive incompetent sloth convinced
that his relationship and appearance come
before anything related to work.
Twofaced? Stop complementing this master
bullshitter with a multiple personality
disorder. Instead of helping out his employees
he earns his living by being glued to his
phone and talking about irrelevant crap.
Hormonal bitch whose PMS lasts 31 days a
month. Likes to work with family members
who she thinks are always right and you are
always wrong no matter what.
Funny Hats............................. page 2
Indecisive spineless weasel. Unprofessional,
lazy delusional liar, suck up and fuck up.
Cannot spell work, does not want to try. A
disorganized mess of a boss who makes her
employees miserable because they never ever
know what’s going on.
30 degrees of Cancer........... page 13
Your Psycho Boss................. page 14
“My desire to exit the game is greater than my desire to remain in it.” —Barry Sanders, July 16, 1968 (1º Cancer)
Selfish, aggressive douchebag oblivious to
everyone’s needs but his own. Copes by
screaming and throwing his fists in the air.
Contents
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For info, call: 347-279-3374
Sidereal Signs
is a monthly bulletin of
siderealsigns.com
Production by
Monkey Brain Design
Resident Astrologer
Ivana Janton
2010 © siderealist.com
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We try to attribute all sources
and art; if we overlooked
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Speculating in generalities
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Random Commentary
CANCER, CARDINALISM AND BREASTS
The Cardinal signs—Aries, Cancer, Libra, and Capricorn—
are complex because they incorporate the ideas around
them into their own energies, and each Cardinal sign is
a unique blend of the self and a proposed objective or
attitude. The Cardinals live to persuade and elucidate.
They have a message that must be projected along with
the self, maybe even, in some cases, in place of the self.
Cancer displays their beliefs with the same vigor as selfpromotion—the two are often superimposed.
Cancer rules the breasts, and a woman’s Cancer Sun or
Moon sign can mean full breasts, all else being equal.
But the Cancer’s connection to breasts is OUR attitude
about them. Men see them as affirmation of sexual desire.
However stupidly, men feel the larger the breasts, the
more libidinous the woman. Cancers, like most women,
see them as a fashion foundation, the main attraction in a
three ring circus. Like a hat, an eye-catching prop.
Far from seeing breasts as telegraphing sexual readiness,
Cancers regard them as working appendages. Cancer
tends to desexualize the breasts and objectify them with
an original purpose; as form follows function.
Cancers take a deep breath and risk censure or rejection.
When they preen, pirouette or pratfall, they hope the
world sits up and takes notice, that their non-verbal
message engulfs us in our own emotional whirlpools. They
get a Karmic commission for every heart they win over.
“In the
morning I
wipe my
brow/ Wipe
the miles
away/ I like
to think I can
be so willed/
And never
do what you
say/ I’ll never
hear you/
And never
do what
you say.”
—Tanita
Tikaram, 2X
Cancer, Aug.
12, 1969
sidereal starting dates
These dates vary slightly according to year,
consult your natal chart for exact placement
Aries April 15
Taurus May 16
Gemini June 16
Cancer July 16
Leo Aug. 16
Virgo Sept. 16
Libra Oct. 16
Scorpio Nov. 16
Sagittarius Dec. 16
Capricorn Jan 16
Aquarius Feb. 14
Pisces Mar. 15
" Clip this handy reference guide
siderealsigns.com
page 3
HOW
Cancer Grows
Nature is cruel
Cancers represents the natural order of
things, the phases of the Moon, the flow
of seasons, the cycle of loss and
redemption. Yet the inexorable grind of
natural events can only be explained as
souless, in complete disregard of all
human hopes and ideals. It’s on Cancer
to rectify the two extremes. They can
cultivate an understanding of the
boundless passions of humankind and
the infinite coldness of the oceans.
Cancer is ruled by the sea, its tides, its
turmoil, and the Moon, which rules
over all of them with a mournful
autocracy. There’s always danger and
drama in the life of the Cancer, and
sometimes intuition, camouflage and
their hardened defences can’t prevent
attacks from potential enemies. Cancers
observe that nature loves diversity and
hates stasis, and is fluid like Shiva,
creating and destroying with the same
busy hands. They ride the waves like the
Marvel superhero, the Silver Surfer.
That paradigm faces every Cancerean
mood: how to navigate the dialectical
forces of nature without losing traction.
Cancers can make us visualize the
person that they want to be, they
suggest it; we affirm it. This helps them
solidify their hold on reality, which they
see as relative and subjective. How well
they succeed reflects the quality of their
acting abilities and persuasion. Surely,
there are more Sidereal Cancer film and
stage actors by far then any other sign,
except perhaps Pisces. Cancer wants
fame bad, but sometimes has to settle
for notoriety. Cancers Michael Richards,
Barry Bonds, Jerry Falwell and Whitney
Houston all suffered near-fatal falls
from grace; yet they have all been since
reabsorbed into the cultural maw;
they’re all too much loved to be thrown
away. With Cancer, love itself becomes
the enemy of rational thought. Growth
becomes an instrument of invasion.
page 4
Coping with
a Cancer
Cancer lessons
Cancer is the message that
unconstrained growth can be evil; we
can be killed by life. Cancer can grow
even in the most hostile environment,
for no other purpose than to dominate,
the way a vine dominates the side of a
building. Like its medical cousin,
Cancer wants to rule through critical
mass, wants to invade every cell; Cancer
is imperialism of the heart. This
behavior in human Cancers is only
brought on by fear, the basic insecurity
of their desires.
THE THIRTY DEGREES OF CANCER
#
PERSONALITY
FAMOUS
FOR
SIGNATURE
HAT
GOOD/BAD
MOM
GOOD
STOICISM
EMOTIONS BEST DEFENCE
BREASTS
LEAVING & LEGACY
SIDESTEP
MUSCLED
INJURY-FREE RETIREMENT
1
BARRY SANDERS
FOOTBALL
FOOTBALL
HELMET
2
PHYLLIS DILLER
TV COMEDY
WIG(S)
BAD
AMBITION
LAUGH
SURGICALLY
REMOVED
STILL WORKING
3
NELSON MANDELA
POLITICS
TRIBAL BEADS
BAD
INTEGRITY
JUSTICE
HUNKY
RETIRED REVOLUTIONARY
4
LIZZIE BORDEN
CRIME
HAIR BONNET
BAD
ANGER
AXE
CORSETED
EXECUTION
GOOD
GUITAR
HOME
SEXY NIPPED
COLLABORATION
5
CARLOS SANTANA
MUSIC
SHORT BRIM
FEDORA
6
ERNEST HEMINGWAY
WRITING
CAPTAIN’S CAP
BAD
SELFISH
FICTION
SAGGING
SUICIDE
7
DANNY GLOVER
FILM
BASEBALL CAP
GOOD
ACTIVIST
PROTEST
MANLY
CIVIL RIGHTS
8
MONICA LEWINSKY
BLOW JOB
HAIR HELMET
BAD
POWERFUCKING
DNA
BUXOM
OBSCURITY
9
BARRY BONDS
BASEBALL
BASEBALL CAP
BAD
PISSED
SILENCE
STEROIDS
ASTERISK
GOOD
TEAMWORK
“SWEETNESS”
SEXY
GOOD SPORTSMANSHIP
10
WALTER PAYTON
FOOTBALL
FOOTBALL
HELMET
The Moon phases directly affect Cancer.
The shrinking moon drains Cancer of
vitality. The new moon is a new start,
and Cancer’s stature grows in sync with
the waxing moon. When the moon is
full, Cancer is confident, capable of
great action, theatrics and sometimes a
great foolish delusion. This also is true
for people with a Cancer Moon or other
luminary planet in Cancer.
11
CARL JUNG
GURU
NAZI SPECS
BAD
ABUSE
PSYCHOBABBLE
GNARLY
SCHIZOPHRENIA
12
EMMA GOLDMAN
ANARCHIST
BUTCH CUT
GOOD
RADICAL
ORATORY
BRA-LESS
FEMINISM
FASCIST
ORBACE (WOOL
CAP)
BAD
MACHISMO
DEMAGOGUERY
GIRDLED
DEATH BY MOB
GOOD
MARRIAGE
HUMOR
ENHANCED
B-LIST
The Moon may be volatile, but it’s very
sexy. With a non-penis-fetishist female
sexuality, Cancer has fulsome appetites,
the sign of the Queen who takes a
young lover; possibly her son, possibly
a god. It’s part of the Cancer charisma
that all these secrets are classified and
held close to the heart. Cancer men are
the few words-and more action oriented
guys. Robert Mitchum, James Cagney
and Billy Bob Thornton are examples of
tough-guy Cancers with a heart.
PLANETARY DIVERSIONS
Cancer VS Gemini
Is Cancer nicer than Gemini? Cancer
does have a fully functioning heart, and
so people like them better. People liked
Sidereal Gemini Tom Cruise, but he
had a series of public meltdowns. This
won’t happen to Sidereal Cancers—they
are too well protected by their body
armor. Even Cancer Machine Gun Kelly
had his bevy of admirers. However,
13
BENITO MUSSOLINI
14
LISA KUDROW
TV COMEDY
HAIR
EXTENSIONS
15
J K ROWLING
WRITER
RED HEAD
GOOD
FANTASY
MAGIC
BODICED
THE SEQUEL
16
JERRY GARCIA
MUSIC
FULL BEARD
BAD
FAME
DRUGS
BLUBBERY
OD
17
PETER O TOOLE
FILM
BURNOOSE
BAD
SPORTS
ALCOHOL
SHRIVELED
“VENUS”
18
JAMES HETFIELD
MUSIC
MULLET
BAD
ANGER
MARRIAGE
PIMPLED
BROMANCE
19
BARACK OBAMA
POLITICS
GOLF CAP
BAD
HOPE
TELEPROMPTER
SKINNY
FAILURE
20
PATRICK EWING
BASKETBALL
SWEATBAND
GOOD
KNICKS
BODY BLOCK
SWEATY
STRONG CENTER
N/A
INNOCENCE
NONE
N/A
MURDERED BY HER
FATHER
21
JON BENET RAMSEY
HOMICIDE
PRINCESS
CROWN
22
LUCILLE BALL
TV COMEDY
RED HEAD
GOOD
FAME
SELF-DEPRECATION
POINTY BRA
NOT FUNNY
23
MATA HARI
ESPIONAGE
VEIL
BAD
LOYALTY
SEX
BREAST PLATE
EXECUTION
24
ROGER FEDERER
TENNIS
SWEATBAND
GOOD
SWISS
GRAND SLAM
SPRUNG
CHARITY
25
WHITNEY HOUSTON
MUSIC
GOOD HAIR
BAD
DRUGGED
FAMILY
DEFLATED
CHICKENHEAD
26
SCHIM SCHIMMEL
ART
HAIR MANTLE
GOOD
NEW AGE
FANTASY
HAIRY
LUGUBRIOUS ART
27
STEVE WOZNIAK
COMPUTERS
BED HEAD
GOOD
ENTHUSIASM
ELECTRONICS
GEEKY
WYSIWYG
28
GEORGE HAMILTON
FILM
CIGAR
BAD
SNARKY
CELEBRITY
PUFFIES
SUN TAN
29
ANNIE OAKLEY
COWGIRL
COWGIRL HAT
GOOD
FEMINIST
SIX GUN
HEFTY
GIRL POWER
30
MADONNA
SINGER
BLEACH BLOND
BAD
ACTING
BITCH
BOUNTIFUL
HAS BEEN
page 13
HOW TO FIND THE REAL, CLANDESTINE CANCER
Who are the
real Cancers?
Western
Tropical
astrology is a
full sign too far
ahead. Sidereal
astrology tells us most
Tropical Leos are Cancers,
and most Tropical Cancers are
really Geminis. Some Cancers are
Cancer in any system; if their birthdays
fall between the 16th and 21st of July.
However, If you were born between
July 16–Aug. 15, you’re really a Sidereal
Cancer, NOT a Leo, as you’ve been told.
Being miscast your entire life must have
given you heartburn; all that Leo bluster
is just not in your Zodiacal repertoire.
There are subtle and glaring differences
in these archetypes: Cancer represents
the maternal family, it’s cycles and
fertility, and all its passing generations.
Leo represents the predator family;
its ranking and imperatives. The
Cancer family is driven by the needs of
cooperation and mutual support, the
Leo family is based on the power at the
top and the acquiesce of the group.
Cancer has an open mind and develops
a great tolerance and compassion for the
frailties of others. Leo can be haughty
and derisive of weaklings.
As symbolized by grapes on the vine,
Cancer reaches out for sustenance,
in bursts, or waves, in simple efforts
to find greater security in expansion,
peace of mind through growth. Cancers
are guided by the Goddess Moon, with
indefatigable, empathic, unconditional
love of her children. When the Moon
wanes though, Cancers can drop the love
like a hot potato, and opt instead for a
highly developed sense of self-protection,
and resistance to the group.
Cancer’s head may control the
locomotion, but the Moon controls the
emotions, and they just get swept away.
It’s this intimate bond with our closest
cosmic body that makes you humble
page 12
but happy. What the Moon takes away,
it will return, in full measure. Being a
part of this cycle is Cancer’s greatest
strength, a true tenacity and a life-grip
on the pulse and flow of time itself. No
wonder Cancers are often experts at
organization and management, a natural
venue for their natural-born instincts for
collaboration.
If this at first does not compute, then,
let’s run astrological archetypes and see
if something sticks:
The Real Geminis­—born after June
16th, are voluble, skittish, unemotional
and can shockingly alter personalities
according to an ancestral fight-or-flight
instinct;
The Real Cancers—born after July
16th, are emotional, nurturing, secretive,
and change their minds according to the
Moon’s phases; Cancers sell motherhood.
The Real Leos—born after Aug. 15th,
are autocratic, egotistic, animalistic,
who abide only by the rules of the pride
and its separate division of labor.
Or not. There are always exceptions: in
some cases, there are extreme versions
of any sign. For Cancer, the dialectic
originates from Moonbeams, which
switches Cancer from hopeful to helpless
and back again at regular intervals.
Too much of a Good Thing
Cancer can go overboard. Even love can
be toxic. Cancer will, and can, love their
children—human, animal or
inanimate—to death if they become too
obsessive. The only way for them not to
smother is so spread their love around.
It’s just as well that Cancers are very
open-minded, they can love anyone, no
matter how gross or humble. Cancers
can delay judgement, they prefer the
emotional quality of mercy to the
expectations of reality.
Cancers are more consistently willing to
stay monogamous because the
development of character is important to
them. They require, above all, a sense of
security and safety, and they are willing
to work and grow in order to get it.
events can snap back painfully on
Cancers when they do let their guard
down.
Cancers can be bad, very bad. If they’re
not getting into trouble, they’re helping
us get into trouble. They’re shifty. They
can be very mean and passive aggressive
while they protect themselves. They rely
on the suspension of disbelief in many of
the sales pitches they have and will give
over the course of their lives. They are full
of intrigue and need cohorts. They are
often paid to misrepresent things, and
willingly do, very well on stage and in the
boardrooms, too. This evil, “bad Mom” is
typified by double-Cancer Benito
Mussolini, a ruthless manipulator and
serial liar. His private life, replete with
multiple wives, children and mistresses,
is quite the Cancer cult-of-personality run
amok and rewarded with a gory death.
real MOM, media mom
Cancers are often connected to
motherhood and the Moon in prime
directive, but actual nurturing is very
often lacking in Cancers, who prefer to
sublimate their maternalistic urges for
the greater good. Cancers want to be
loved by all humanity. Many Cancers
sacrifice parenthood altogether to offer
their services to a larger, but less
demanding, audience.
Triple Cancer Sally Struthers was
spokesperson for Child Fund
International, in so doing, she expanded
her range from her own daughter to all
children, calling upon everyone to be a
good mother. Cancers can take
motherhood from the micro to the macro.
Some Cancers, male or female, do
provide nurturing and maternal love, but
others can be absentee or even a cruel
mother; Cancers who are involved in
career and fame often have no time for
their own brood. Cancer Men often
exhibit these tendencies; they cannot bear
being upstaged by their own offspring,
and remain childless, or are purposefully
detached from their children. Some, like
double Cancer David Spade, cling to their
own childhood, and resist taking
responsibility for their own kids. Double
Cancer Rose Kennedy had with a
reputation as less of a mother and more
of a superior officer. She ran a quasimilitary operation and forced her
retarded daughter to have a frontal
lobotomy. On the other hand, Cancer can
be a mother hen, like triple Cancer Carlos
Santana, with a Leo Moon, who cultivates
and supports a expanded family
entourage that includes old friends,
recording artists, former wives and
assorted kids. Significantly, some Cancer
women, like early feminists Annie Oakley
and Amelia Earhart, eschewed kids
altogether to advance a cause, in this
case, equality for women. The mother
love here is spread to all humanity.
cancer: the people’s sign
What gives Cancer an uncanny knack for
the feelings of the group? How is it they
can sense its mood swings and even use
propaganda and subterfuge to influence
the outcome? An open mind and high
degree of tolerance makes Cancer the
sign of the masses—the spiritual
affirmation of humanity. Yet Cancer is the
also a true sign of rugged individualism.
Cancer understands the mass in its
yearning for individuality. These inherent
Cancer strengths are mysterious and
surprisingly versatile. It’s a respect for the
inner child and one’s developing
character that makes Cancers so sensitive
to the needs of each and every individual.
Differences work cohesively with
integration as passing phases of the Moon
and bring resolution of our fears and
desires. Cancer works indirectly, circling
a problem obliquely, like the crab’s
sideways movement. And like an angry
protective crab, Cancer will attack the
flanks rather than give ground.
WATCH OUT!
The big health problem for Cancer is
water retention—sluggishness—in both
males and females. Excess liquids of all
kinds can hurt Cancer. Booze (Purines),
tea (tannics), coffee (caffeine), or soda
(sugar) are bad, but even too much water,
if not processed as sweat or urine quickly,
can be excessive for Cancer people. Milk
and dairy products, the feel-good foods,
lay like swill in the bowels.
continued on next page
page 5
HOW CANCER GROWS continued from page 5
CANCER HEALING SYSTEMS
Cancer metabolism is the key to a clean
burn of food. The Cancer must have
physical activity. Sweat should be the
page 6
Cancer is one of the signs that can
readily detach itself mentally from its
own body. So they have little faith in the
body’s healing abilities, and waste their
loyalties on lost-cause or faddist health
regimes. They can panic at (or ignore!)
signs of illness. They have a tendency to
repress stress and anxiety under layers
of secret ruminations and deceptions.
It’s a desperate need—but failure to
achieve—control of the environment
that causes this anxiety. Since the only
place control can be complete is in a
dreamscape, Cancers become experts
in creating one. The body is not subject
to fantasy, but rather physical law, and
not to listen to it is to desecrate it. The
Cancer has a captive audience of its own
body, a congregation of all its disparate
personality offshoots, and the act of selflove can be a tour de force performance.
“Communal well-being is
central to human life.”—Cat
Stevens. July 21, 1948
You can either look at things
in a brutal, truthful way that’s
depressing, or you can screw
around and have fun.—David
Spade, July 22, 1964
“I grew up in the Bronx where
you would stay up late with
your girlfriends, just being silly
in our bedrooms, whatever.
And I was always the clown.”
—Jennifer Lopez, July 24, 1970
“Doing a film in that period,
and having to really celebrate
what they wore back then, how
they sat and how they spoke.
You know, what the etiquette
was back then for a lady. All of
those things are like putting on
a wig and transforming yourself,
which I love.”—Charlize Theron,
August 7, 1975
“I looked on child rearing not
“You shall know the truth,
and the truth shall make you
mad.”—Aldous Huxley, July 26,
1894
“It is all very well to copy what
one sees, but it is far better
to draw what one now only
sees in one’s memory. That
is a transformation in which
imagination collaborates with
memory.” —Edgar Degas, July
19, 1834
“All the things I love is what my
business is all about.” —Martha
Stewart, August 3, 1941
“My memory of my mom is a
wine glass in one hand and a
cigarette in the other. She was
a runway fashion model, and
she was quite a glamorous
woman.”—Loni Anderson,
August 5, 1946
“God intended woman to be
outside as well as men, and
they do not know what they
are missing when they stay
cooped up in the house with a
novel.”—Annie Oakley,, August
13, 1860
“What’s the worst that can
happen? If it doesn’t do well I
can put on my big girl panties,
deal with it and move on. ”
—Halle Berry, August 14, 1968
topwomen.org
Discover the mother of whole grains,
millet. A steaming bowl of this
venerable, hearty porridge every
morning will lift your spirits and serve
your cells energy carbohydrates for
several hours. Also look for anything
containing natural sources of potassium:
seaweed, dandelion greens, parsley,
cabbage, rice bran, lima beans, endive,
watercress, cucumbers, mushrooms.
Bananas, avocados, melons.
MIND/BODY
“The TV business is uglier than
most things. It is normally
perceived as some kind of
cruel and shallow money
trench through the heart of
the journalism industry, a long
plastic hallway where thieves
and pimps run free and good
men die like dogs, for no good
reason.”—Hunter S. Thompson,
July 18 1937
only as a work of love and
duty but as a profession that
was fully as interesting and
challenging as any honorable
profession in the world and one
that demanded the best that
I could bring to it.” —Rose
Kennedy, July 22, 1890
keenanevans
CANCER POWER FOODS
Cancers can learn a lot from Capricorn,
(and vice-versa) two opposites in the
Zodiac. Both signs have big ambitions
and leadership aspirations. Cancers can
do everything that Capricorns can do;
achieve long term objectives and delay
gratification; but they can do it with
style. While Capricorns are the bones
and virtue of structure, Cancers can
make even a desert bloom like an oasis.
If Cancers could get their priorities
sorted out like Capricorn, they’d be
more credible. Cancer can do indirectly,
adroitly, what takes Capricorn a direct
assault. Cancer can lead the group but
must develop the emotional dissonance
that comes to Capricorn as second
nature. Capricorn represents a painful,
masculine, learning system, Cancer
wants a maternal, flexible, intimate one.
Life with Cancer can be like a circus
tent, while Capricorns want to run
everything like a hedge fund. Luckily
both signs are attuned to their respective
job description and their affinities; hey,
it’s a job!
“My job in this life is to give
people spiritual ecstasy through
music. In my concerts people
cry, laugh, dance. If they
climaxed spiritually, I did my job.
I did it decently and honestly.”
—Carlos Santana, July 20, 1947
jamalrecords.com
The balance of intercellular fluids is
the way to restore the joy and security
of glowing health to Cancer. Salt is the
source of life, so you can’t and shouldn’t
eliminate it. If your body gets bloated
because of moon-cycle-caused water
retention, just counter it with a hefty
B-complex vitamin, one that supplies
at least 100 mgs of vitamin B6. This
particular vitamin and extra potassium
(50-250 mgs a day) will prevent and help
eliminate water retention. All Cancer
organs are probably overworked as a
result of the retention of fluids and the
gunk floating around in it. If you can,
give the stomach, liver, and kidneys a
vacation with a monthly 24-hour fast.
And get off your ass—walk, run, swim.
For utter relaxation, after a warm,
baking-soda infused bath, take a quick
cold shower to restore the skin to a tight,
alkaline condition.
CAPRICORN VS Cancer
If 6 were 9 and the Sun refuse toshine
screensavers.lookoutsoft.net
Endema is a hazardous condition; when
out of control it can lead to serious
health problems. Cancers can too easily
adjust to abnormal levels of water
retention, feeling as if it were a natural
consequence of life cycles, rather than
a result of a vitamin deficiency and a
mineral imbalance.
final ingredient in all recipes, as in
vigorous exercise to burn it off.
vectorarena.co.nz
Cancers are susceptible to a volatile
water absorption rate, which rises and
falls with the Moon’s phases as well as
the amount of sodium in the diet.
quotes from brainyquotes.com
page 11
The Saturn-Pluto Square continued from page 7
Enter Pluto. Insecurities and addiction
to power precede logic. Pluto rules the
underground, so its positive influence is
rarely as obvious as its negative. One of
Pluto’s negative manifestations is that
it makes some people in a position of
power feel insecure. They feel powerless,
too; so they rob their subordinates of
power to make themselves feel better.
Only spiritually evolved individuals
know the path to power is to empower
others. The effective leader is a positive
manifestation of Pluto, equally powerful
but a less obvious force of change.
All of us must strive to develop all the
planets’ energies in the most positive
way; and when we don’t, we land on the
other side of the equation. With Saturn
and Pluto in the picture, it’s always a
painful side to be on.
The bad economy escalated bullying;
but the same force behind the power
of bullies is now behind a growing
opposition. The present series of SaturnPluto squares expresses the last ditch
effort of bullies to hold on to power.
As we move into a long-term SaturnUranus-Pluto T-square, employees’
demand for respect and equality will
increase to the boiling point and so will
their unwillingness to take the same crap
a minute longer. Push is coming to shove
—someone will fall from grace and it
won’t be just the workers.
Abusive employers are spiritual
lizards—no offense to lizards—and
they are too blind to see that the power
they use to destroy the lives of their
employees (Pluto) is the same power
their employees will use to fight back.
I watch in awe as employers with their
Pluto out of whack turn into chicken shit
puddles when met with a forceful spirit
of opposition that their abuse created in
their subordinates.
Tyrants can dish it but they can’t take
it. The one undocumented trait that
bullying employers all have is being
terribly out of touch with reality. It
page 10
escapes their notice that nobody stays
in power forever. However irritating
it may be to watch bullies abuse their
employees, it’s all the more entertaining
to see the tables turn on them when they
finally land on their face …after falling
from a very tall tower.
Your job, even if you’re the boss,
(especially if you’re the boss) is to
• Cultivate a strong sense of
security and confidence (Saturn)
within yourself by cultivating
a strong sense of security and
confidence in others, and
• Empower yourself (Pluto) by
empowering others.
If you indulge in abusing your
subordinates and cooking the books
without a care about thousands of
people who will lose what they spent
their entire lives working for, Saturn and
Pluto will make sure that you personally
end up “cooked” yourself and that the
rest of us will have a blast watching the
comeuppance.
Next time you go to your workplace,
the workplace you own, or manage, you
might want to curb your enthusiasm.
You have forgotten that without your
employees you’re a joke, and I’d be
happy to remind you.
Because really, that’s all you are.
Ivana Janton is a New York
astrologer and author. She
is available for readings by
appointment and can be reached
at 347-279-3374
or [email protected]
By Ivana
Janton
REAPING THE SATURN-PLUTO SQUARE
Unemployment and job pressures are on
the rise. So is corporate fraud; and so is
something else rarely talked about, but
also a direct result of a poor economy:
workplace bullying. Employers’ abuse
of power over their subordinates has
become epidemic, and is by far one of
the nastiest side effects of the contracting
job market, where workers are finding it
harder than ever to get a paycheck.
Power abuse in the workplace has always
been around, but current unemployment
rates and fear of job loss among those
still employed help escalate the abuse of
power to despicable proportions. This
increase also coincides with an ongoing
Square between transiting Pluto and
Saturn. This hard aspect between such
two relentless forces; change and control,
defines the limitations of power. Misuse
of power is a Plutonian problem and fear
is the Saturnine problem that enables it.
Since there’s a flip side to every coin, both
planets represent abusive behavior and its
consequences; something lost on bullying
employers who think they can get away
with power-tripping on their subordinates
without a backlash.
Numerous companies lose money
because of high turnover caused by
employee lack of ability or lack of desire
to contribute, due to ongoing emotional
abuse. Yet, abusive employers still bully,
thinking that nothing will ever change.
This ultimately is their downfall. Some
bosses are blind and some pretend not
to see that the only certainty is change
itself. Change transforms even the most
hardened position. Every single person
has Saturn and Pluto in their chart and
every single person is subject to their
transits. Pluto’s mission is to make sure
that no one ever gets away with murder.
If you ever found yourself at the mercy of
an employer who has none, take comfort.
It doesn’t matter if they die warm in their
bed, everybody in the thrall of this transit
gets a taste of their own medicine, their
just desserts.
Saturn’s placement in our chart is our
point of insecurity. We, however—not
Saturn—determine how we are going
to deal with it. Dysfunctional Saturn
manifests as effort to make those we
target, like our employees, feel insecure.
An emotionally and mentally balanced
individual builds his or her own
confidence and security by enhancing
those qualities in his or her employees.
It is much easier it is for a business to
make a profit when its employees feel
empowered. Never mind how emotionally
disturbed bullying employers are, they
appear to be straight-up stupid not to
make the connection.
continued on page 10
page 7
GOOD MOM/BAD MOM: OBAMA, JUNG AND THE NEPTUNE-SUN2
TWO CANCERS; ONE A WEAK PRESIDENT, THE OTHER A NAZI GURU; BOTH ANSWERED A NEED, BOTH DECEIVED THE MASSES
After eight horrific years with sociopath
mass murderer George Bush­—a heartless
Gemini scumbag—America had a dream.
The only thing that could heal us was
love, and a compassionate, calm, loving
mother. Hillary Clinton, a scary Scorpio
mom, was rejected. Instead, Capricorn
Oprah provided us with a male equivalent;
a family man, a traditionally religious and
morally upstanding community leader;
a straight shooter and eloquent populist
hero. Our myth of the good mom was born.
lull and rip people off.
Obama and Jung have the square. With
it, one can be the perpetrator and the
victim. Sun-Neptune makes us believe
the myth and drown in our own fantasy.
The aftermath is the true meaning of
depression—in this case, an economic
situation that implodes our reality, denies
us our dreams, and rips the ingenuity out
of us like a sacrificed heart to a stone god.
Going down with the ship of state
As a Cancer-Neptunian leader, Obama is
The myth of the moral politician
pretending to be the leader we need, but
Cancer Barack Obama became what we
political failure is inevitable. Already we
wanted him to be. He was ready to take
see a man who has aged 10 years in the
on our best intentions, he looked and
19 months he has been in office. A Taurus
acted the part of our dream-come-true,
Moon square Uranus makes him very
a cool customer, who could unite us and
slow to adapt, inwardly resisting the very
win over our enemies. Dapper, debonair,
changes he promises. Of the many hats he
articulate (we thought); the oratory of
wears—to look like a good mom—he will
MLK; the soul of
never be the courageous
Malcolm X; the politics
reformer we needed him
of Dwight Eisenhower,
to be. It takes more than
and the humor of Will
a dream. He never had
Rogers. This was one
solutions, only rhetoric,
dream that we could all
which was written for
agree on, and, thanks
him. No wonder he gaffs
to a bottomless pit of
every time reporters catch
money provided by
him out of character—
Goldman Sachs (and
his Cancer Mercury
BP), and a team of wily
opposes a Jupiter-Saturn
professional hacks and
conjunction. When he
handlers, lo and behold,
shows himself, it’s his
the myth indeed came
arrogance and anger;
true. Our savior had
he squelches inquiry, so
materialized; God really
he nor anyone else can
did like America.
disclose the true nature
Barack Obama
of his hapless, rootless,
Reality is SUCH a drag
bankrupt regime.
A Sun Neptune aspect
Instead of slaying the
is all about the yearning
J
dragon, he wants to kill
k
K
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to be what you’re
K
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the whistleblowers.
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not—the positive side
}
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Obama’s Grand Trine
of which would be
T
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Obama has had a
striving to be great, to
S
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powerful Grand Trine
heal the world. When
a B
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B
H
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of Moon, Mars and
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Neptune is squared
T
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Jupiter/Saturn to protect
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the Sun, it means the
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him from reality. He
inclination to delude
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and disenfranchise, like
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inspiration and energies.
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media hype; to mislead,
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Natal Chart
Friday, August 4, 1961
7:24:00 PM AHST
White House, District Of Columbia
Sidereal
Placidus True Node
20
50
27
27
20
03
06
L
06
39
45
01
08
06
16
00
13
51
09
13
09
44
44
14
24
07
06
16
35
28
51
08
08
27
18
21
03 12
01
04
06
20 D 50
Created by
ManiacoMac™
F
47
27
20
45
page 8
00
22
He’s a façade of what we want in a leader.
generation of true believers and suckers.
Would a real Good Mom torture people
Jung’s expertise was psychology and
and pursue an imperialist war? We’re
the occult; he first utilized them as
asking too much of a guy with nothing
commandant of a Swiss concentration
to give. Can reform occur alongside a
camp during World War One. In the
dying structure? Obama weaves a spell,
1930s he worked for the Nazis to set up
YES. But he is bluffing. There is no
the German Society of Psychiatry, trying,
savior, no shining knight in armor, no
as he later protested, to “protect” Jewish
hybrid progressive politician to save us.
doctors. Jung refuted claims that he was
We’re already doomed by our failure to
a Nazi—instead pointing out that many of
acknowledge our previous failures.
his best friends were Jews. Anti-Semitic,
Getting out before he gets caught
no; Nazi, yes. He was a religious quack and
The question for Obama now is, how can
political throwback to Wagnerian political
he withdraw into his shell? He’d rather
views, defending corporate individualism
resign in disgrace than be exposed for the
and decrying the evils of secularism.
pulpy worm that he is. He might very well
Jung tried to escape socialization; his
go insane in office, which is a common
Moon-Uranus square made him fear
hazard for war-making presidents.
attachment; his Mars-Jupiter-Pluto kite is
A philandering Nazi doktor
the mark of the demagogue and misuse
Cancer avatar and guru Carl Jung also
of power. Neptune Sun square blurred
used his Sun-Neptune
Jung’s already weak
square to manipulate
boundaries between
the “collective
psychology and mind
unconscious”—one of
control. He used some
his own concepts—not
valid concepts for evil
for political power, but
and personal gain.
for pussy.
In failing health and
drifting in and out of
Jung was a classic pimp
schizophrenia, Jung
scammer who used his
spent the last years of
genius to con his female
his life fortifying his
patients into having
home into a castle, into
sex with him. A distant
which he withdrew
father and unstable
until his death in 1961.
mother damaged
Jung’s ability to love,
Obama and Jung were
and he propped up his
both foisted on us as
rampant misogyny with
liberals, humanitarians
Carl Gustave Jung
mysticism, astrology,
and nurturing leaders,
religion and the I
when, in fact, they are
Ching, anything he
both frauds, motivated
H
H
G
could lay his hands
by egotism and both
d
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on to bamboozle his
put into power by a
H
k
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F
clients into awe and
socially reactionary
V
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S
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submission. Jung was
power structure.
V
T
V
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D
the talisman for the
T
In any case, we ended
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bevy of whacked out
up with the Bad Mom
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and 70s, using his
hoped to find in either
A B
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concepts, to juice a new
a P
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of these poseurs.
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Natal Chart
Monday, July 26, 1875
7:26:00 PM SZOT
Kesswil, Switzerland
Sidereal Placidus True Node
06
39
11
10
26
39
28
00
22
04
02
17
48
55
15
57
E
48
21
10
09
09
19
06
06
01
12
24
20
K
30
46
17
02
55
04
10
57
02
32
11
15
22 00
31
10
26
39
06
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Created by
ManiacoMac™
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