Download Fighting for Joy in the day to day [Ben Duell -

Fighting for Joy in the day to day [Ben Duell -- Aug 4, 2013]
Intro:
Good morning! I’m Ben Duell, I’m a Superintendant for Schultz construction here in town and a
NH elder. I joined the elder team almost 3 years ago.
We’ve been a part of NH now for about 12 years.
We also lead a LIFE group on Thursday nights from 6:30 -8:30.
This is a picture of my family. When I’m not at work this is what occupies a lot of my time.
My wife is a stay at home mom so this is what occupies pretty much all of her time.
We are continuing our series this am on Fighting for Joy. We’ve been diving into the scriptures as
well as some biographies this summer to gain a better understanding of how we fight for joy and how
others have fought for joy. So what is joy? Is it happiness or ecstasy? Is it feeling warm and fuzzy inside?
Is it watching K-State football? I like this definition; Joy is a settled state of hopeful
contentment………………….this type of joy always has an object or a source. That object or source as
we’ve been learning this summer is Jesus. True joy, unwavering joy can only be found through life with
Jesus.
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3 very specific times over the past 6 or 7 years where I’ve run out of joy and consequently run
out of strength. Let me tell you about the most recent one. A little over a year ago here is where
I was at.
Fall of 2011 Kristin and I planted a LIFE group out of the Stewarts group.
We were point leaders for our LIFE group for the first time.
We had 2 kids, expecting our 3rd,
I was managing multiple jobs as a PM at the time
I had one job that was an absolute nightmare.
o Sub-contractor did some damage on the house to the tune of over $10K
I was an elder (we were dealing with some leadership issues),
So, June 12th our son Riggins was born. After laboring naturally for a couple of hours at home we
decided to go to the doctor because she had an appt anyhow. It was discovered that the baby’s
heart beat was extremely high. C-section. Flight to children’s mercy. There for 3 days. Came
home. Stayed a night at the hospital with K and R. Went home Saturday afternoon. Had Sunday
together as a family and Monday I had to go back to work.
I was hit with this work situation that was spiraling out control.
Felt alone, didn’t know what to do, so I just tried harder and worked harder and tried harder.
I was running on empty.
o NH leadership
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o LIFE group leadership
o PM leadership.
Began to affect my body.
o Burnt out and filled with anxiety.
o I began to have irrational thoughts like I thought I was going to go to jail because this job
wasn’t going well.
o Felt very broken.
I was Irritable.
My family felt it, especially my wife. Something had to give
Following Jesus and doing ministry and trying to do the rest of life felt like a huge burden.
I wasn’t having any fun, and I definitely wasn’t full of joy.
When the joy goes the strength goes.
Today’s topic is this: Fighting for joy in the day to day. You could also call it “fighting for joy
in the 9-5 or fighting for joy as a stay at home mom, or fighting for Joy when life keeps kicking you in the
face………. etc.” How do you fight for joy in the midst of Life’s day to day challenges?
You know, working 40-50 hours a week, hustling and bustling kids around, leaving the house at
5:30am, working all day, meeting with a guy for discipleship over lunch break, getting home at six dinner
cooked, bath time at 7 bed time at 8, shower for yourself, get the house picked up by 9, spend 30
minutes watching t.v., have a 30 minute conversation with the wife and then off to bed to do it all over
again in the morning.
Or maybe it looks more like this; wake up at 5am to a poopy baby screaming, change the diaper
feed the baby, get the baby back to sleep by 6am only to be woken up by the 3 year old and the 5 year
old at 6:30, make breakfast by 7, spend the next 8 hours changing diapers, doing laundry, picking up
after kiddos, paying bills, trying to enforce a “quiet time,” having play dates, doing anything to keep the
kids from fighting, praying to God that Ben will get home quickly, and then its dinner, bath time, bed
time, more laundry and more cleaning and hour to yourself after Ben goes to bed, finally to sleep only to
start it all again in the morning.
Perhaps its 22 hrs of college credits this semester, or health issues, or family problems.
Maybe it’s navigating the challenges of being working mom or being in a job you hate or in a job
that takes way too much of your time.
Whatever the case may be, life can really hit us hard sometimes. Life can wear us down and
exhaust us with all that comes with it. Life can sneak up and rob us of our Joy. And, when the joy goes
the strength goes. And so what do we turn to for joy when day to day life is wearing on us or when that
crucible of life begins to heat up. What do we do? Where are we finding our joy?
Cognitively we can easily come up with the right answer. We turn to Jesus. We’ve been
conditioned to have that right answer if you’ve grown up in the church. It’s like the story of the squirrel
in Sunday school. It sounds an awful lot like a squirrel mam. So in our heads we know that Jesus is the
right answer but practically I would argue that the way this plays out in our day to day lives doesn’t look
like Jesus is the answer.
I would argue that a lot of times Jesus is not who we turn to for joy. Whether we realize it or
not we turn to all sorts of things looking to find joy in it.
Maybe it’s your spouse that you turn to, to find joy. You thought that getting married would
bring you ultimate contentment and fulfillment. Then a week or a month or a year or two down the road
you realize that the person you were hoping would bring you great joy is flawed and imperfect and
snores at night and steals the covers and disagrees with you.
Maybe it’s friendships or relationship. Maybe it’s alcohol. You can’t wait to get home at the end
of the day and have that drink. Maybe it’s some other form of addiction.
A big one is T.V. You can’t wait to get home at the end of the day, get showered, put your
sweats on, flip the t.v. on and check out. What about Facebook or pinterist? For some of you those are
the first things you look at in the morning and the last thing you look at before you go to bed.
Maybe it’s pornography or a trashy romance novel. Daily we give our time and energy and
thoughts to many different things looking for that hopeful contentment or that joy. Day after day we
turn to these things hoping that they will make us happy and bring us joy and yet they leave us wanting,
they leave us empty. It the law of diminishing returns. The more you experience something the less it
impacts you.
And so we go on like this for weeks or months or years only turning to Jesus and praying when
things get really bad or we really need something and after a period of time we find that we are bored
and apathetic with our faith. Following Jesus is not exciting at all! We’ve lost our Joy…………..and when
the joy goes the strength goes………………So we are burnt out, tired, and disengaged from the life of
ministry and pursuit of people and the advancement of the Gospel that God has called us to. We feel it,
our spouses feel it, and our families feel it. Life has robbed us of our joy.
The big idea for today is this………………… “If we are going to fight for Joy we have to be willing to
pursue L.I.F.E.” LIFE……it’s the acronym we use for our LIFE groups. Learning biblical truth,
Intercession/prayer, Fellowship, and Extending LIFE to others. Yes it’s a clever acronym, but it’s so much
more than that. Pursuing these core elements has the capacity to change our whole lives and help us
fight for joy in the midst of all that life throws at us. This acronym comes from Acts 2:42-47. That’s what
we model NH after and our LG’s after. So this morning we are going to unpack these passage a little
further and talk about how pursuing LIFE can help us fight for joy.
Pray with me.
I.
Acts 2:42-47 – 42 And they devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching
and the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers. 43 And
awe[a] came upon every soul, and many wonders and signs were being
done through the apostles. 44 And all who believed were together
II.
and had all things in common. 45 And they were selling their
possessions and belongings and distributing the proceeds to all, as any
had need. 46 And day by day, attending the temple together and
breaking bread in their homes, they received their food with glad and
generous hearts,47 praising God and having favor with all the people.
And the Lord added to their number day by day those who were being
saved.
L – Vs. 42 – And they devoted themselves to the apostles teaching
a. What does this mean?
 It means that they were regular and intentional about learning from
God’s word.
 The early church in Acts was devoted (strong word meaning loving or
loyal) to learning about Jesus through the scriptures being taught to
them.
 The apostles were using the Old Testament to teach out of to prove that
Jesus was who he said he was.
b. One of the ways we fight for joy is by knowing, and studying God’s word
together
 This summer………………..learning about Joy by studying the scriptures
and gaining a better understanding of how men and women in the past
have done that.
 In our LIFE group we’ve been studying about evangelism. What is it,
how does it work, and what do you say.
 In our Men’s group we’ve been reading through Ephesians and doing
the observation, interpretation, application method.
 We are being challenged and instructed by examples of how God has
worked and will continue to work.
c. We gain a Godly, Kingdom perspective on our lives when we spend regular
time studying His word…………Regardless of our circumstances.
d. Paul understood this in Philippians 4.
 I rejoiced greatly in the Lord that at last you renewed your
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concern for me. Indeed, you were concerned, but you had no
opportunity to show it. 11 I am not saying this because I am in
need, for I have learned to be content whatever the
circumstances. 12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know
what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being
content in any and every situation, whether well fed or
hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13 I can do all this
through him who gives me strength.
e.
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Remember this word contentment? That’s Joy!!
f.
(Stair at crowd)Where is your perspective on your life when things are
going crazy?
III.
g. Does your attitude reflect Joy and contentment despite your circumstances?
h. Or are life circumstances robbing your of your joy?
 But when the joy goes the strength goes…………………..
 Paul seemed to understand this well in Colossians 1:29………..to this end
I labor, struggling with all of HIS energy that so powerfully rests in me.
 If we are going to fight for joy we have to pursue time in God’s word.
Whether it is 5 minutes or 5 hours we have to gain our perspective for
our lives and even for our days through the lenses of God’s word.
I – Intercessory Prayer – vs. 42…. And they devoted themselves to prayers.
a. I’m a fixer. I love to fix things. When I was a kid I used to take things apart all of
the time. I think that’s why I fell in love with the construction business.
 Blenders, motorcycles, vacuums, etc…………
b. I’m also a do-er. When things get tough my tendency is to put my shoulder into
it and just work harder at whatever the issue is.
c. The problem with being a do-er who loves to fix things is I can very easily begin
to rely on myself and my own talents or gifts to get me through my day and not
even think about the role God plays in helping me through my day.
d. Through the scenario I mentioned before God was teaching how little I was
asking him for things and how little I was praying for those I was leading and
pursuing and how little I was asking him for help and to give me strength.
e. I just was simply not communicating well with God.
f. I emailed my LIFE group somewhere in the middle of all of this
 I told them how broken and alone and empty I felt and asked for them
to pray for me.
 As I started meditating on God’s word more I began to pray Gods word
over what I was going through.
g. James 5:1-6 -- Is anyone among you in trouble? Let them pray. Is anyone happy? Let
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them sing songs of praise. 14 Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church
to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord. 15 And the prayer offered
in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise them up. If they have sinned, they
will be forgiven.16 Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that
you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.
h.
I wasn’t asking God for anything. I was trying to make life work all on
my own and it was kicking my tail.
i.
Our prayers have the capacity to be powerful and effective as well as healing.
 Daily, hourly, sometime minute by minute, communicating with God
about how I was doing and pouring out my soul and being honest with
others who began to pray for me started to have an impact on me.
j. (Look in their eyes) How are you doing at communicating with God?
k. If we are going to fight for joy we have to be people who passionately and
faithfully pray for God to work in our lives and in the lives of those around us.
IV.
V.
F – They devoted themselves to Fellowship.
a. I hate this word, but it fits nicely into the acronym. It makes me think of a
bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken and potlucks in the basement of the first
Baptist church in Goodland growing up. It’s sort of a stuffy word.
b. I realized I don’t like it because it’s become too Christiany. It has lost its true
meaning.
c. The Greek word is Koinonia………………….Translated means: Intimate spiritual
communion.
d. In LIFE group we call it “doing LIFE together.”
Look at the rest of the passage in Acts 2: 43 And awe[a] came upon every soul,
and many wonders and signs were being done through the apostles. 44 And all
who believed were together and had all things in common. 45 And they were
selling their possessions and belongings and distributing the proceeds to all,
as any had need. 46 And day by day, attending the temple together and
breaking bread in their homes, they received their food with glad and
generous hearts,47 praising God and having favor with all the people. And the
Lord added to their number day by day those who were being saved.
a. That doesn’t sound like the fried chicken potluck definition that I’m accustomed
to.
b. “Doing LIFE together” means so much more than just attending church
functions together.
 It means that I know you and you know me
 It means that we pursue one another consistently and effectively
 It means that we have permission to speak boldly into one another’s
lives and to challenge one another because our identities our secure in
Christ.
 It means that we spend our weekends together and we love and care
for one another’s families and we carry each other’s burdens and mourn
when someone is mourning and rejoice when someone is rejoicing.
 It means that we care for each other when we are in need.
 It means that we reach out to and extend life to non-believers around
us together!
1. Which means that I get to know your friends and you get to
know my friends and we are purposeful and intentional with
each other’s friends as well.
 It means that when we see someone in our fellowship that we are doing
LIFE with who is so overwhelmed by life that they are losing their joy
WE FIGHT FOR THEM!!
1. We pray for them
2. Encourage them
3. Meet their practical needs
4. Sit and listen to them vent about how life is going.
 It means that we engage in healthy discipling relationships and
challenge one another in our pursuit of Jesus.
 It means that we encourage one another and receive joy from one
another because of our ministries and pursuits of others.
1. Philippians 1:3-5: 3 I thank my God every time I remember
you. 4 In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with
joy 5 because of your partnership in the gospel from the
first day until now
2. Paul was experiencing Joy because of the intimate
fellowship he had with the Philippian believers.
3. We experience that same joy when we sacrificially
engage in doing life together and reaching the world
around us TOGETHER!
c. (Look into their eyes)Do you have intimate spiritual
relationships with anyone?
VI.
d. If we are going to fight for joy we have to pursue intimate Fellowship with one
another and doing LIFE together.
E – They extended LIFE to others! vs 47Praising God and having favor with the
people………..and the Lord added to their number day by day.
a. I could talk all day about this one. This is by far my favorite letter in our
acronym. If we are allowed to have a favorite letter.
b. Joy is found in extending LIFE to others.
c. What does this mean?
 This means sharing with them about who Jesus is and what he has done.
 It means being available for God to use in the lives of people who don’t
yet know him.
 It means moving towards messy broken people and getting your hands
dirty because you believe so strongly that Jesus can change their life.
 It means living our lives in front of people being open and transparent.
d. Vs. 47 – Praising God and having favor with all the people……….And the Lord
added to their number day by day those who were being saved.
 This leads me to believe that there is somehow a strong correlation
between what they were experiencing as the Gospel moved outward
and the impact it had on the community around them.
 What they were experiencing and how they were caring for each other
was noticeable and tangible.
 It was intoxicating and contagious
 It affected the people around them.
 It gave them opportunity for the Gospel to advance.
 My study bible says that this Church had an attitude of worship, thus
gaining the admiration of the people. People recognized that the Church
lived out the message they proclaimed about Jesus Christ.
1. That worship doesn’t mean sitting around singing songs
2. Romans 12:1 --
And so, dear brothers and sisters, I
plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all
he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy
sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly
the way to worship him.
 So worship, true worship is laying our lives down for God to
use. That’s what this church was doing.
a. Matthew 22: Hearing that Jesus had silenced the
Sadducees, the Pharisees got together. 35 One of them, an
expert in the law, tested him with this question: 36 “Teacher,
which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”37 Jesus
replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with
all your soul and with all your mind.’[c] 38 This is the first and
greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your
neighbor as yourself.’[d] 40 All the Law and the Prophets hang
on these two commandments.”
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b. This seems pretty straight forward.
c. Jesus is saying love God and love people the same way you love
yourself.
d. Paul is saying offer yourselves as a sacrifice to be used by God
e. Paul is saying because of how you love God and pursuing people I am
experiencing joy!!
II.
III.
VII.
VIII.
Are you sacrificing at all or inconveniencing your busy life to extend LIFE
to others?
If we are going to fight for joy we have to pursue sacrificially giving our lives
away to others so that more and more people will know and understand the
Gospel.
Application: How do you apply this personally?
a. Join a LIFE group.
b. Become a disciple
c. Make a disciple
d. Do LIFE with people.
e. Dive into the word of God and let it influence your life and affect your day.
f. Do this all with other people!!
g. Stop making excuses for why you can’t or shouldn’t do this and just do it.
For me I sat in my truck that one morning in late July a year ago and I poured my soul
out to God and then I sent an e-mail to my LIFE group and poured my heart out to them
and asked them to please pray for me.
a. God begin to speak to me through his word
 Philippians 4:6-7………….do not be anxious about anything
 Psalm 62:1………………..My heart finds rest in God alone.
IX.
X.
XI.
XII.
XIII.
b. I began praying Gods word and He began to encourage me and build me up
through prayer.
c. My community of friends came along side Kristin and I and really cared for us.
There was deep spiritual intimacy.
 One LIFE group they spent the whole time sharing encouraging things
about Kristin and I and our ministry to them.
d. I began to think beyond myself and move towards those around me and have
hope and vision for their lives
e. My strength began to come back because my joy was coming back.
Am I fixed………………………..not even close. I’ve got a long road ahead of me. I had
another scenario just this week where I dropped the ball on some things at work. I felt
miserable. I was angry that I didn’t perform well and frustrated that because of all that I
had to do Church wise this week distracted me from doing my job. This is how I feed my
family! I didn’t want to go to LIFE group this week because I was discouraged. I did it
anyway ………..cuz I was teaching…………and God really met me there and encouraged
my heart and helped me fight for joy. When the joy goes the strength goes.
I realize that everything I’ve said today equals more time with God and more time with
people. As someone who leads an incredibly busy life I don’t say that lightly. But
something strange and amazing and miraculous happens when we choose to engage in
LIFE with people. As we begin to be used by God and poured out more and more we
begin to actually have more energy, and more time for people, and more of a heart to
make God known.
It’s called the counter wisdom of God. That just simply means that logically it doesn’t
make sense that in our hectic lives giving even more of ourselves will bring us more joy
and contentment. However the wisdom of God says yes it will!!
Closing: There is no formula for pursuing LIFE. It’s not like you put in 25% of each of
these and joy will magically happen. Pursuing LIFE is a messy, beautiful, intoxicating,
slow, fast, fun, difficult, easy, journey towards Christ with other believers.
So………………..when the joy goes the strength goes…………………How is your strength this
morning? Where are you finding your Joy? How are you fighting to have joy in your daily
life? We have to be people who pursue LIFE if we are to even hope to fight for joy!!