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Kabbalah about Sex
A conversation between the Kabbalist and scientist Michael Laitman and the instructors of
the Kabbalah Academy Michael Sanilevich and Yevgeny Litvar
July 11, 2007
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Spiritual roots of sex
The reason for embarrassment
"Egoism" and "altruism" in Kabbalah
What is the Creator’s attitude towards sex?
There is no answer in our world
What does a man expect from a woman?
What does a woman need?
Kabbalah about love between people of the same sex
There is only one remedy for all
Prostitution – is it good or bad?
Sex underlies all our thoughts
About the hierarchy of fulfillments
Surge will be followed by renunciation
Spiritual Roots of Sex
М. Sanilevich: Let’s begin with probably the most trivial question: What are the spiritual
roots of sex? Do they exist at all?
М. Laitman: Kabbalah regards everything simply as nature; so there is no need for any
apologies and arguments about what is nice and what is not… There are no forbidden issues
here. And it doesn’t matter what we are talking about. We may reason about sex, children, big
scientific problems, the world crisis, its origin, the disappearance of life, children’s toys or
soccer; yet whatever we may discuss, we imply nature. If this or that phenomenon exists in
nature, then we analyze it.
Sex is a great, powerful force that absorbs adult people in the course of their entire lives
and determines the overwhelming majority of our behavioral motives. Of course, this is a very
serious expression of human nature and it lies at the very foundation of our lives. We see that
almost all aspects of our lives depend on it: culture, literature, science, relationships, and the very
structure of society. In other words, sex, love, and jealousy determine everything.
It is nature’s work within us that makes these things the most important. First of all,
without them there would be no continuation of life, whereas nature aspires to continue and
develop. Secondly, without sex people would lose a powerful incentive to communicate with one
another. A huge superstructure in the form of the human society is based only on this
phenomenon, on this inner aspiration, not to mention family and children. Sex determines the
entire structure of the universe and the relationship between the sexes. Yet this is not just the
relation between sexes; this is also the source of the ultimate pleasure in our world.
Our world’s nature constitutes a desire to receive pleasure. This is the aspiration of
elements, atoms, molecules to retain their structure; desire to expand, absorb, gain, divide,
procreate; desire to join, alter, adapt, take more space, constantly be in contact and balance with
the environment. All of this is an aspiration to enjoy, to be fulfilled.
Perhaps the term “to enjoy” is not quite accurate. Suppose that I lift this book and then drop
it; the book will fall to the ground. So where’s the aspiration to enjoy here? Yes, this is an
aspiration to achieve maximum balance with surrounding nature, to enjoy greater accumulation,
etc. That is to say, inanimate, vegetative, animate, and of course human nature aspires to this;
each to the extent of its egoism, desire to find, protect, absorb, determine, and express itself in
some way.
The bigger award follows an action, i.e. the greater fulfillment this or that object or
phenomenon may provide, the higher and stronger it is, and the quicker it suppresses other
phenomena. This is why it is nature’s way to provide maximum pleasure in the relationships
between the sexes. Hence, we subconsciously think, choose, seek, compare, and analyze
everything relative to this greatest and most poignant phenomenon in our lives.
If we ask psychologists, physiologists, or geneticists, they will no doubt confirm that
everything in life is based on the relationships between the sexes. This occurs on the animate
level, when by smell and incomprehensible properties we feel enmity or attraction, distance or
intimacy to one another at any level (subconscious or conscious).
Kabbalah draws much attention to this because this phenomenon gives us life, movement,
expansion, and development. It says that this is the most powerful force in the universe.
The world is divided into male and female constituents. The spiritual root of sex is a
spiritual force that fulfills each side during the contact, gives them spiritual pleasure. It is
specially designed so in order to bring nature to unity, unification, system, and overall
connection.
The reason for embarrassment
М. Sanilevich: If we say that sex is a natural phenomenon, then why are there
embarrassment, restrictions, and awkwardness around this issue? Why are people generally
ashamed to talk about sex, if it also has a spiritual root?
М. Laitman: It is very interesting to see this on the example from the Bible: Adam and
Eve suddenly discovered that they were naked (they had not noticed that previously). They
began to feel embarrassed about their nakedness, and made clothes for themselves. Everything
started from this. Animals do not feel embarrassed; they just fight for coupling, no more than
that. This is where the difference between the animate and human level manifests in the first
place.
This is because a human being already feels freedom of will, choice in his actions, in unity
with this or that possible partner, in this or that quality of such unity. Since his freedom of will
manifests here, a person feels embarrassed. He chooses the quality of his actions; how this can
be regarded in the eyes of others; what result this may bring, etc. In other words, everything that
refers to sex as well as reception of pleasure in any more or less noticeable portions at the human
level has to do with awkwardness. This is because a person can choose how to act. If these
actions of ours were not free, but strictly determined by nature, then we would have no special
attitude toward them. We would fulfill our functions just like animals do.
М. Sanilevich: Are these actions free or do they only seem free to us? In the previous
broadcast we said that a person did not have free will.
М. Laitman: Are they considered free in our world, at our level? Of course not.
Ultimately, everything that happens is no more than an egoistical calculation that we make
consciously or subconsciously; generally both ways. Yet even at our level we are ashamed of our
actions.
In reality, here occurs a very interesting phenomenon: the fact that man’s actions do not
contradict nature is concealed from him. It is hidden from him that there is no free will here.
However, we are given these feelings to advance in our absolutely egoistical development. Until
we reach a level, when we start rising above our nature (including sex and everything that relates
to it) and look for spiritual fulfillment.
Be that as it may, everything that refers to sex distinguishes us from animals and is
perceived by us as freedom of choice, freedom of will, and this determines our whole life.
Regardless of age and the force of a person’s inclination, this is the most powerful sensation at
the human level.
Egoism" and "altruism" in Kabbalah
Y. Litvar: What do the notions “egoism” and “altruism” mean in Kabbalah?
М. Laitman: All nature aspires toward pleasure, toward fulfillment. However, when we
talk about nature at the inanimate, vegetative, and animate levels, fulfillment comes without the
sensation of pleasure. At the human level, when there is a possibility of choosing actions,
accumulation of desire, we say that fulfillment has a directed character; it comes from man
himself, and therefore it is already called pleasure and not just fulfillment.
Such notions as egoism and altruism are not analyzed in Kabbalah in the framework of our
world because, here, we are all forced; we are in nature’s power. Kabbalah explains egoism and
altruism as forces that operate above our world, where we rise above corporate nature and start
mastering the spiritual world.
Two great forces opposing each other exist there – egoistical and altruistic. They are really
opposites, but in our world – below the spiritual level – there is no such distinction. In principle,
egoistical motives are always hidden even in what seems to us as manifestations of altruism. We
can give examples: a mother who loves her child and is ready to sacrifice her life for it or a
person who loves his motherland, family or humanity; his noble impulses, when he risks his life
and sacrifices himself – all this, one way or another, is based on a purely egoistical inner
calculation. Psychologists know this. These human qualities are used for man’s development and
upbringing in various cases (say, in the army or in other communities). In other words, all
motives are egoistical.
Y. Litvar: When you use the notions “egoism” and “altruism”, do you imply something
different, more profound egoistical and absolutely constrained development than the level of our
world?
М. Laitman: No. I cannot speak about the spiritual world without affecting our world. For
the description of both the spiritual world and our world, two terms are used. Hence, I will say
every time what exactly I imply.
Y. Litvar: The problem of love and sex really concerns everyone. We have received
questions on this issue from the internet and during a street survey “Ask the real Kabbalist three
questions”, in our meetings with beginners, and from the site for beginners who got interested in
Kabbalah.
What is the Creator’s attitude towards sex?
Y. Litvar: What’s the Creator’s attitude to man’s numerous sexual relations? What are the
Creator’s moral values in the sexual sphere?
М. Laitman: Generally, man advances toward his goal – to develop and become equal to
the Creator – under the influence of two opposite forces: positive and negative; although such
definitions of these forces are relative – we simply perceive them this way. In fact, they stem
from the same source – Creator, who stimulates our development by affecting us so: desire –
pleasure, fulfillment – emptiness, even bigger emptiness – even greater aspiration to be fulfilled,
and so on. By alternately provoking these sensations within us, He thus qualitatively develops us.
In other words, the amount of these alternate states of emptiness and fulfillment lead man
to certain qualitative assessment of these processes. Everything is based on this: I starve, eat,
then starve again, and eat again, etc. This is true about everything: for instance being asleep and
being awake. That is to say, everything divides into two alternately opposite states, movements,
phenomena. However, it is important for us to know what outcome they bring and how man
develops as a result.
Therefore, I would not characterize any phenomena occurring to people as positive or
negative; they are quite natural for us. Yet where does man’s freedom come from? How does he
use these phenomena? Quite possibly he openly and bluntly uses his egoism while understanding
that this use teaches him, drives him, and in the end will quickly lead him to a positive result.
Indeed, when we look at man we very often say: “Nothing can be done with him. It is impossible
to convince him. Destiny should deal him a couple of blows and then he will learn.”
Everything in nature is designed this way: fulfillment and disappointment, again fulfillment
and disappointment; they lead man to a state when he remains empty twofold, threefold, many
times. He then starts asking himself: “Why do I need this fulfillment? Why do I need this
emptiness? What conclusion do I have to draw from them? What is the final result? Well, I enjoy
it at the moment and such moments are quite a few, but then I become empty, lost, and sick. Is it
worth chasing some fleeting pleasure?” Indeed, all our pleasures are transient in comparison with
the time that is required to achieve them.
All this leads man to the one and only question: “How should one live so as not to pursue
all these pleasures? Is such a state attainable, when I simply receive pleasure and remain in this
continuous, eternal peace, and feel absolute fulfillment and an eternal, perfect life? When I am
not afraid that it will all pass, disappear in a minute and turn out to be a delusion: fill myself right
now and the hell with it all tomorrow. Is such a state possible?”
All crises and negative processes that we witness today (disillusionment, suicides, drugs,
and sexual perversion) happen due to the lack of a way to achieve the perfect state.
Hence, the promiscuity you are asking about has a natural reason. Man is confronted with
a critical question: “Where can I find myself?” This continuous, quick search leads to divorces,
promiscuous and sometimes perverted relations. All this serves to complete a certain level of our
development and clearly makes us realize that, actually in the framework of our lives, there is no
way to receive even a minimal pleasure because, in the next moment, you will feel emptiness
twice bigger than prior to the pleasant experience.
This is where the cause of promiscuity and other sex-related problems of our time are
hidden. I regard it as a sign of a very potent development of humanity and I am very glad that it
is so intense. This means that we are on the verge of a clear realization of uselessness of such
existence and a good prospect for raising the question about the meaning of life.
Y. Litvar: Can one say, “Enjoy it – it is good for you”?
М. Laitman: Well, first of all, reception of pleasure is not forbidden in our world. Nature
established certain limits to this end. Man adds more restrictions. However, we understand that
all this works only very relatively. Humanity is carried away by hypocrisy, takes refuge in
portraying itself not the way it really is. The picture of humanity that we draw for ourselves is
very different from the existing one. If one looks at us from the outside, this picture will turn out
to be much more unsightly. Be that as it may, everything is advancing toward the realization of
evil and revelation of our true state. Sex is of great assistance here.
There is no answer in our world
М. Sanilevich: Can one say that Kabbalah does not regard negatively the restrictions that
religion imposes on sex?
М. Laitman: Kabbalah treats nothing positively or negatively with the exception of one
thing: that which leads man to the correct question about the meaning of life, after which he will
have a clear direction to the reception of the answer, to the attainment of the Upper world. This
is because all roots, commands, and laws descend from there to our world and control us. If a
person who asks the question about the meaning of life understands that he needs to reveal the
Upper world, the network of governing forces, then any path to it will be good for him. There is
neither good nor bad in it. The main thing is to complete the accumulation of so-called positive
and negative information in order to ask this question. In other words, one should realize that
there is no answer within the framework of this world. The answer lies in the forces that
influence us.
And then, naturally, it turns out that we do not judge man himself. There is nothing to
judge him for; he is absolutely controlled. We shouldn’t condemn these phenomena because they
are natural. If we squeezed them into some framework and then judge man for transcending it,
then it is the same as making a tiger confront sheep, but refrain from eating them. Is this
possible? Well, the beast can’t restrain itself! Perhaps, one can do something through punishment
or training, but at any minute it may go wild again. As we know, nature will prevail in any case.
This is why we have to study man correctly without concealing from ourselves who we really
are.
I think that the problem lies in the fact that for some reason humanity believes that it
understands something in these issues. Knowing very little about sex, love, psychology,
psychiatry, fulfillment of various desires that determine man’s behavior, we are unwilling to
listen to specialists and think that the norms that we suddenly establish are good; just like in
fashion.
I think that this happens because certain circles profit from the establishment of various
limits in order to control society. Look what happens to presidents – Kennedy, Clinton, in Israel,
and all over the world; totally artificial restrictions, limits, awards and punishments are created.
Man simply looks for a way to turn his life into a show that is better than it actually is.
What does a man expect from a woman?
Y. Litvar: Does Kabbalah regard premarital sex as negative?
М. Laitman: If you ask me… Kabbalah does not regard anything. Kabbalah reveals the
laws of the world, the laws of life. We see that everything is open today and there are no
restrictions. Children start their sexual lives in their early teens and this is considered normal the
world over. Although we try to avoid talking about this, yet it has already become a natural
phenomenon, and it spreads through absolutely all countries and cultures. This is related to
man’s development, to the fact that we begin entering a period of our true egoistical maturity. At
the same time, very interesting phenomena have appeared: artificial virginity has come into
fashion. After living a full life, twenty-five-year-old girls go and restore their virginity. This
means that it has some value.
I am interested in these new trends because they signify the level of man’s development,
the way he advances along the Kabbalistic scale: how far we are from the realization of our
correct state. I see that after all that happens today, a man values virginity, although he doesn’t
seem to have been brought up this way. What education did he receive from books, society, and
at all those parties…? In 10 or 15 years after beginning his sexual life he attaches significance to
purity and chooses a match based on this.
In other words, this is what a man naturally requires from a woman. He wishes her to be his
personal item, to belong only to him. You may say whatever you want, call it nice or ugly, but
nature gave him this feeling, this requirement. It has not faded away and no social
conventionalities of today (or, on the contrary, their abolishment) led to that. This is an
interesting phenomenon.
I am not speaking about the Moslem world. I simply mean the modern society.
Y. Litvar: So a man’s aspiration to find a virgin for a wife has spiritual roots?
М. Laitman: Of course.
Y. Litvar: Is this not related to his normal, human, animate nature?
М. Laitman: Not in the least.
Y. Litvar: So what roots are they?
М. Laitman: Man has such notion as virginity (something that is non-existent in animals),
which indicates that it is yours and puts a clear sign on it. Nature gives this to us; it demonstrates
such attitude. What is it for? Why is it created so obviously? Why does it still exist today?
Nothing has happened to man for thousands of years, nothing was added to his development
after all the other levels of the animate world; and still it is valued.
This is because our marriage, the birth of posterity presupposes a union between two
opposite sexes. A man’s demands differ from those of a woman because they stem from different
roots: a woman’s fidelity to man is like man’s loyalty to the Creator.
Y. Litvar: Оh!
М. Laitman: Yes. So there can be no questions. I just want to say that humanity will
ultimately come to the likeness of roots and branches, i.e., to the similarity of all levels of life institutions, phenomena, relations - to the Upper world. After we see the Upper world we will
want to become similar to it; it will become so enticing to us; spiritual fulfillment will bring us
such delight that all our earthly actions will be determined by this.
As soon as a moment comes, when we willingly and consciously accept that the spiritual
world will determine our present life, we will return to a strict framework of behavior and also to
the relations between a man and a woman because it cannot be different between spiritual roots.
A woman belongs to one and only man there.
Y. Litvar: You said “strict”. Will this force a woman?
М. Laitman: No! Of course not. It will come as a result of attainment.
Litvar: Will this be everyone’s inner breakthrough?
М. Laitman: It will be based on the attainment of the Upper world. By seeing the spiritual
roots I will naturally refrain from doing things that will immediately harm me. In the same way I
will not put my hand in the fire knowing that it will harm me and that, according to nature’s law,
biological material will burn and perish in the fire.
Y. Litvar: So will it be my own choice after all?
М. Laitman: Certainly. It will be based on the attainment of the Upper world.
М. Sanilevich: Continuing this topic we have the following question: if a man is
unfaithful, it is considered a norm and everybody just smiles; but if a woman is unfaithful, it
creates a universal scandal. Is a man allowed to have several partners according to spiritual laws?
М. Laitman: Yes. That is the way it is. Polygamy is allowed. We do not say this is bad or
good, we speak about how this works in nature. Send your complaints to its Manager, not to us.
Hence we will not engage in petty trials here, at our level, as it is accepted (or unaccepted)
in our culture and society. We know that everything is changing: in different countries and
civilizations it is perceived quite differently. In other words, there are no standards. Speaking
about a standard – if you wish, you can discover what happens with these phenomena in nature.
A man is polygamous by nature; he can have relations with many women and no one says
that he is unfaithful to one or another. There are many cultures (they have existed before, in the
course of the entire history of humanity), where men owned (I use the verb “own” quite
deliberately) several women and this has always been regarded as normal.
So however hard we try to avoid this phenomenon (don’t say that today we are more developed,
cultivated, emotional or vice versa), it does exist in our flesh and blood and is not considered
reprehensible with regard to nature. It is quite clearly based on the principle of belonging.
However, such relations are impossible in the case of a woman. This is described in the Torah
(Pentateuch) as a curse that the Creator proclaims after Adam and Eve’s sin. He says to Eve:
“and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee”.
What does a woman need?
М. Sanilevich: So why does a woman demand from a man to be faithful, if according to
the spiritual roots a man may have several women?
М. Laitman: Because unfortunately in our world a man (even if he has no other women)
cannot provide a single woman with this feeling - of belonging to him.
Perhaps we should learn it. Regretfully, one man cannot give this sensation to one woman
that she is his; something that a woman has to feel.
М. Sanilevich: If we gave this feeling to her, then…
М. Laitman: There will be no problem.
М. Sanilevich: …will she agree to his other relations?
М. Laitman: Of course, this also depends on the social agreement. But in principle, a
woman needs nothing but this feeling. We have seen many polygamous cultures throughout the
history of humanity in various strata of society: commoners and well-to-do people; and this
created no problem.
All this should be viewed based on spiritual roots: a woman needs one partner because
humanity is controlled by one force, and this Partner has a great number of people each of whom
is his female part with regard to the Creator.
М. Sanilevich: However, you would not advise me to explain all this to my wife?
М. Laitman: This is how it is explained in Kabbalah. The structure of all spiritual worlds
is based on this. Two objects that control us are Zeir Anpin and Malchut. These are two
mechanisms in the spiritual world that control the male and female parts of the universe. They
are designed so that Malchut is the aggregate of all souls, while Zeir Anpin is alone in order to
fulfill, impregnate, and develop them. There is no contradiction here.
I think that all these issues are based on the conventionalities that people contrive and also
on culture. We could instantly jump from one set of social arrangements to another. By using
modern mass media, one could instantly do anything. Look at the way the youth studies; it is
stuffed with all kinds of conventionalities that it accepts or it creates conventionalities of its own.
They are formed in it as behavioral standards, and there is no getting away from them. All this is
artificial. If we choose a natural path, we will come to what we have discussed.
Y. Litvar: We understand that this is not an individual’s personal viewpoint, but a
scientist’s opinion based on precise knowledge of spiritual laws. In this connection I have a blunt
question from a woman in Kiev. She says that many women fail to receive satisfaction in sex.
Can we help her in any way?
М. Laitman: Unfortunately the opinion of Kabbalah is very different from what is
accepted in our world’s society today. What does the notion “pleasure” mean? It depends on
education, moral and social standards. As everything in man, it does not simply depend on
nature. Man is a much more complex structure than the following simple scheme: there is a
desire, which needs to be fulfilled, satisfied. You have a way to enjoy something - enjoy it. Here
is a device for it – a machine, a partner, it doesn’t matter. Everything depends on the level of
man’s development.
Now, a woman who receives or fails to receive pleasure knows how much this depends on
what she wants to accept under the definition “to receive pleasure”. With women everything is
totally different from men; everything happens on a deeper, inner level. They demand
understanding and moral relations with a partner, want to feel him as their own. This is not a
purely sexual, animate satisfaction; it also requires a huge – let’s call it – human fulfillment.
Therefore, it is impossible to speak only about one of these constituents (sexual
satisfaction). I don’t know exactly what the woman who asked this question implies… Perhaps
this is a distorted idea about sex as a purely animate pleasure. It also stems from the fact that
women did not go through a normal, correct, natural development and education, and it was
distorted under the influence of the environment.
In principle, a woman does not see beauty in a man; she does not understand what is
beautiful or ugly (referring to a man). She assesses him according to her inner scale: how
important, significant, great he can be in her eyes. She is not attracted by her partner’s physical
beauty, physique, or strength. If she is – then only to the extent in which he can provide her and
her children’s future (basically, this does not depend on strength in the literal sense of the word).
This means that a woman evaluates a man and the satisfaction she receives from him
according to a scale that is different from a man’s. Therefore, if the question was asked by a
woman, then it should be analyzed together with a great number of other human desires – moral,
purely female, her demands to a sexual partner, to a man. This is not a demand to receive
pleasure at the moment and that’s it (which is characteristic of a man).
Kabbalah about love between people of the same sex
Y. Litvar: We received the following question: why do religions in general and Torah in
particular strictly forbid love between men and does not forbid such love between women? Is
there a difference from the point of view of spiritual roots?
М. Laitman: The phenomenon of a relationship between men has been known since
ancient times. There were entire peoples that regarded it as natural. A man had a wife (maybe
more than one), a family and at the same time another sexual partner. We know that ancient
Greeks practiced this. It also flourished in other cultivated, great (in our human understanding)
civilizations. They used to practice this kind of relationship within one and the same sex.
People in those cultures believed that a very strong, intimate relationship, a friendship in a
sense, originated between men, which allowed achieving unity instead of rivalry. Surely it was
not encouraged, but it was accepted indulgently. When such relations appeared among women,
this occurred because men isolated them. We know of such problems that existed in closed
societies.
With the arrival of Christianity, such relationships between men started to be persecuted.
Speaking about Judaism, its laws completely forbid it. Sexual relationships between women are
not strictly regulated (at least in Judaism). In other religions this depends on the analyzed period.
From the point of view of Kabbalah the relationships between men is absolutely abnormal,
because they become similar to animals; i.e., they descend from the human level to the level of
animate. This is considered totally perverted because there cannot be a spiritual root in man’s
relationship with the like of himself – because there is none like himself. I repeat, the male root
is the Creator.
A woman’s spiritual root is at the level of souls, and since every soul is a female part
relative to the Creator, a relationship between them is possible. It stems from lack of fulfillment,
pleasure, which a woman wishes to receive from a man. Yet lack of understanding, social
restrictions, and other things often led her to her female friend to find such fulfillment and
consolation.
Besides, there are quite serious problems of homosexuality that stem from the spiritual
root. This is because everything is not so simple in our spiritual roots. On the descending path
from the Upper world to ours, they went through a stage that the Lurianic Kabbalah calls
“Shvirat Kelim” (“breaking of vessels”). Our souls (the female and male parts) were broken and
mixed at that level. There is a part of a female soul in every man and a part of a male soul in
every woman. In other words, there are opposite inclusions within us. Since this occurred at the
stage of the souls’ downfall from the spiritual world’s level to our world, there were
simultaneous combinations when male and female desires became mixed and partially took each
other’s place. All “lesbian”, “homo” and many other problems that we observe are the result of
this. The roots of all psychiatric disorders exist at the same level.
We should understand that these problems existed before and still exist. This is not just
people’s licentiousness; the reason lies in the incorrect state of our inner souls of very high
origin. Only by correcting and restricting ourselves, by forcedly (yes, forcedly!) adopting correct
behavior through attainment of these roots, man will correct all these distortions by correcting
his root.
Today we witness a great surge, outburst of homosexuality, and the society seems to put up
with it: what can be done with the millions of men that engage in such relations? When there are
a couple of people, the phenomenon can be suppressed, banned. They can be put in jail, etc. But
what if there are millions? Nothing can be done. It already enters the framework of normal
relations.
All this is the result of the same crisis that we experience today. In fact, this is not a crisis,
but the echoing sensation of the breaking that occurred in the process of the souls’ descent. As
we start slightly ascending in our egoistical development, we reach the level of attainment of that
breaking. Now we are entering the thickness of the breaking that took place at the stage of
descent. We enter it from below and start confronting very serious problems. Very many other
troubles await us in the future.
Y. Litvar: Troubles? Yet you are smiling?
М. Laitman: I am smiling because I look forward to a quick realization of this uncorrected
state (relative to the spiritual world). Humanity will feel this as a necessary stage. In order to
quickly rise through the thickness that was formed during the breaking of the vessels (this is a
certain place in our hierarchy of development), we need to overcome this layer and achieve the
state of correction.
Until this happens, various negative phenomena will accumulate and manifest in our
society. Ours is the first generation on this path of correction; hence all these problems gather
momentum at breakneck speed like an avalanche. In reality, there is nothing new in them. When
Kabbalah explains the process of the souls’ downfall, it shows what awaits us during our ascent.
М. Sanilevich: Are these phenomena negative from the Kabbalistic point of view?
М. Laitman: From the viewpoint of Kabbalah they are natural phenomena on which man
has to work. This is intensive work on oneself so that by making corrections in the souls, one
could adopt the correct correlation between desires and pleasures.
Y. Litvar: You say that a man may not have a relationship with another man because he is
alone like the Creator. I did not understand what this means.
М. Laitman: He is alone like his Root.
Y. Litvar: Why alone, when even here there are three of us?
М. Laitman: We speak about the Root and its nature. A man feels that he is alone. Based on
this, he looks at all the others (including a woman) from this point of his. In other words, his
spiritual root that exists in the Creator dictates him an entire system of views, attitudes,
assessments, decisions, etc., generally his inner essence. It stems from the root, which is Unique,
Perfect, and Eternal.
A man is drawn to abstract notions and spirituality. A woman seeks spirituality in a totally
different aspect. She seeks the sensation of belonging, fulfillment, someone to lean against. With
men it is different. He, on the contrary, strives for attainment, conquest, and realization. Men and
women are quite different in their aspirations. Everything stems from spiritual roots that
determine our essence.
Y. Litvar: So is a man alone or are there many men?
М. Laitman: Everyone feels that he is unique.
Y. Litvar: And how about those who engage in relationships with the same sex? Don’t
they feel the same?
М. Laitman: In this sense - no. That is when the incorrect inclusion of male and female
souls in one another took place. Such male parts have something which belongs to the female
parts, and that is how they feel one another.
There is only one remedy for all
M. Laitman: We all have one problem and it doesn’t matter who follows what sexual
practices, who has what sexual desires, who is a man and who is a woman. Nothing of that
matters because we all have only one remedy – to reveal the Upper world and this will put man
in a correct position – “what should I do with myself?” This revelation provides a truth of such
magnitude that after this, one cannot act incorrectly, because when this is revealed before you,
you already know that everything immediately returns to you. This is a force that controls you:
the way you act now. So will these forces affect you next moment?
You may say, then, by seeing everything that happens, man turns into a marionette, doesn’t
he? The revelation gives us only one possibility of behavior, that is, we turn into a machine, a
robot. If I know that by doing this I will feel good and by doing that I will feel bad, then, since
by nature I desire only pleasure, I am bound to act so that I will feel good. In other words, all my
actions are predetermined; from the moment of revelation of the Upper world they are totally
regulated. The need for any choice completely disappears.
There is a choice because existence in the Upper world is a continual development. I don’t
know what will happen next at each level – I have a free will.
Perhaps we’ve transcended the bounds of the question…
М. Sanilevich: You say “Upper world”. What does it mean?
M. Laitman: Of superior quality.
Y. Litvar: Is a homosexual’s soul male or female?
M. Laitman: It is confused… There is an incorrect inclusion of roots in each other. Every
one of us has male and female chromosomes, a male and a female part. Early in life they are in
one correlation, at a mature age – in another, at an old age – in the third. Certain chromosomes
prevail or are suppressed and so on. More male chromosomes manifest in women, more female
chromosomes manifest in men, etc. However, this constitutes a normal ratio of male and female
chromosomes in each man and woman.
Yet there are confused ones that were created as a result of the breaking of souls. They
were incorrectly mixed so to speak. These are as it were composite souls. There is a certain
number of them, and these two constituents are incorrectly joined in them. They are confused in
such a way that they don’t have a fixed position regarding each other. This is what partially
occurs in homosexuals. One might say the same about women lesbians, but it does not manifest
as expressly. If a woman connects with a man, delivers a child, and creates a family, then these
problems practically disappear. This is because children, family, and a husband occupy her inner
world so completely that she finds satisfaction in a normal relation with a man and a family.
Y. Litvar: Will homosexuals remain homosexuals each time they reincarnate in this
world?
M. Laitman: Until the souls are corrected.
Y. Litvar: Until they are independently corrected?
M. Laitman: Yes, naturally, in the same way as every one of us. No one will help me to be
born next time better, luckier, cleverer, braver, or wiser.
Y. Litvar: In other words, there is nothing to rely on?
M. Laitman: Nothing. On the contrary, we all just accumulate negative potential – in order
to realize at last that our souls need correction.
М. Sanilevich: There is something that I can’t understand: did the mixing occur at the
spiritual, qualitative level?
M. Laitman: Yes. Our body and everything that happens in our world is a totally precise
production of spiritual roots. Here in our world there is no confusion. Everything occurs in our
souls, in the energy constituents that already imprint their inner structure in a more coarse matter
– inanimate, vegetative, and animate.
М. Sanilevich: So if a person was a homosexual, will he repeatedly incarnate in a similar
body and continue to be a homosexual in our corporeal world?
M. Laitman: Yes, but in different circumstances and educational systems this may
manifest differently.
М. Sanilevich: Until the person corrects his soul?
M. Laitman: Yes. Besides, certain needs, aspirations, and properties that we have to
correct at this moment, in this situation and life, surface within us at each stage. This manifests
in accordance with the soul incarnation, the general system of correction that is studied in
Kabbalah. However, this is a very complex system of interdependence.
Y. Litvar: A girl from San-Francisco asks: “How can one find his other half, when one is
surrounded by perverts?”
M. Laitman: Regretfully, this phenomenon can be observed not only in the beautiful
North American city, but everywhere. I say “regretfully” from this girl’s point of view.
Personally, I do not regret; I just observe these phenomena as manifestations of our general
“incorrect state” at the corporeal level, which can be corrected only at the spiritual level. What
should we do? We should accept what exists in this framework and live. There is nothing else
that we can do until we realize where this originates from and start correcting it. There is no
remedy in this world. We can escape for awhile, somehow adapt to this world or adapt the world
to ourselves. Yet a cardinal solution is to correct everything in the source. The correction should
occur where the source of distortion is.
Prostitution – is it good or bad?
Y. Litvar: A question fro the Internet: why in the recent years have women engaged in the
most ancient profession with such ease and why is their number steadily growing?
M. Laitman: In principle, as to all the other questions, there is only one answer: because
we enter a period of revelation of the incorrect state of our souls, the layer where they were
broken on their way down. As a result of this all abnormalities and disharmony in man’s inner
standards occur.
It is a woman’s nature to belong to a man, a family, and children. Suddenly we start talking
about the most ancient profession. Who forced her to do this? Both nature and men… What we
see today occurs because man’s egoism prevails over all conventionalities, social and natural
standards. Today people on the whole already do many things that they previously regarded as
harmful and unacceptable and refrained from doing. Now they abuse everything that causes them
harm. Life becomes senseless. Greater egoism can receive less pleasure, so is this life worth
living? It can be shortened, suppressed by drugs or completely ended…
How many cases of suicide and depression are there from which people want to free
themselves, stop feeling, and stop living! - A great number. A question of euthanasia arises: “50
years. What should I do now? Just take a small pill and quietly fall asleep.”
We are in a state of revaluation of life values and human existence in general. Facing a
global crisis, we have no idea if we will exist in 10 or 20 years. People begin to regard this
philosophically: “What will happen tomorrow? What difference does it make? What can
happen? Yes, all banks will collapse tomorrow, tsunamis will flood us all or something else will
happen.” Without establishing contact with the spiritual world man loses touch with the
corporeal. He starts creating totally new artificial frameworks of behavior, a new virtual world
where he wants to escape, in which he wants to exist. Everything is possible, normal, and
acceptable in this virtual world: “I can make money this way today and I do.”
You are speaking about the most ancient profession. I engage in a great variety of human
problems and see interesting phenomena. In order to pay for her wedding a girl engages in
prostitution seeing no connection between one and the other. There are many such cases. In other
words, she is in love and wants to get married, bear children, but this requires a slight
“arrangement”…
She feels total isolation, an absolute gap in the process of her life: the most ancient
profession and belonging to each other, love, and the union with a man. This indicates that
animate and human parts develop and move apart. But perhaps this is a separate topic.
М. Sanilevich: I am trying to understand: is prostitution good or bad?
M. Laitman: It is neither good nor bad. This is also a developing phenomenon. Look into
the Bible, it is mentioned there so many times! So this is a phenomenon that has existed during
the entire history of humanity and constitutes the result of the breaking of souls. We can correct
it only by correcting our souls. This is because everything develops from up down and there is
nothing bad or good in our world. In our world we observe the consequences of the Upper
forces’ influence.
Therefore, there is no reason to punish man and demand something from him. How can
you demand something if he is controlled this way? Can we put anyone to shame in our world,
threaten him, and throw him in jail for his misconduct? What is he? He received it all at birth –
education, the society imposed on him its values and framework of behavior – good or bad.
Afterwards, he acts like a machine stuffed with all possible information. So can we demand
anything from man? Demands should be addressed to someone who brought him up, to the
society where he lived. This society raised you and now it punishes you? It should punish not
you, but itself.
М. Sanilevich: So it turns out that there will be no prostitution in the Upper world?
M. Laitman: There is a correspondence of spiritual roots in the Upper world – it is when
both male and female parts unite together with the Creator, as it is written: “Man and wife, and
the Creator between them.”
Y. Litvar: In this connection we have two last questions. By and large, you have already
answered the first one. Is sex good or as they used to say in the USSR: “We have no sex”?
M. Laitman: Sex is a natural phenomenon that cannot be characterized as good or bad; all
the more the phrase “we have no sex” sounds senseless if this phenomenon is simply a basis of
all relations between sexes.
Sex underlies all our thoughts
Y. Litvar: Next question is from a German resident who already thinks about his spiritual
advancement and dreams about the future. The question is this: is sex better or worse in the
Upper worlds, meaning is it sweeter or bitterer than in our world?
M. Laitman: Sex in the Upper world is a continual phenomenon in which our soul exists.
Therefore, sex is the ultimate pleasure in our world.
It is said that since Kabbalists fell from the spiritual level to our world (in the ancient times,
when the Bible and other Holy books were written there were many Kabbalists), the true taste of
coition remained only to those who already exist in the Upper world or are in the process of
attaining it.
In other words, this implies that the real spiritual pleasure that is realized through the
merging of male and female parts (called Zivug in Kabbalah) occurs at the spiritual level and
constitutes the most powerful sensation of the soul that is filled with the Creator.
Y. Litvar: Can you simply say that spiritual sex is more poignant than ours?
M. Laitman: Yes indeed, because it is the basis of what occurs at our level.
Y. Litvar: Tell us the truth: is it worth aspiring to the Upper world?
M. Laitman: Basically, that is why man subconsciously aspires to the spiritual world. This
is being gradually revealed now with increasing clarity, because he will discover true
imperishable pleasures.
М. Sanilevich: Recently I’ve read that a man thinks about sex every nine seconds.
M. Laitman: Nine seconds? No, according to Kabbalah sex underlies all our thoughts,
because this stems from the spiritual root of the union with the Creator, where we constitute the
female part and He represents the male part. All natural phenomena are based on this goal of
ours. Hence, we can’t but think about it; meaning that our attraction to the opposite sex and to
pleasure originates from the final state of union with the Creator, which is called Zivug de
Haka’a (constant sexual contact) in Kabbalah.
М. Sanilevich: Are we going to think about sex every second in the spiritual world?
M. Laitman: In the spiritual world – yes, but in a slightly different way than in we do in
our world. That is why spiritual contact is eternal; it gives man the feeling of perfect and
constantly developing fulfillment. This differs from what happens in our world, where we make
love, receive some momentary pleasure and then there is a huge gap, renewal of desire, the need
to look for a partner and so on. Then again you feel pleasure for a few seconds and it passes and
everything starts all over again.
In the spiritual world, because this pleasure is reciprocal and mutually altruistic both in
male and female parts, the Upper Light descends from above and fulfills male and female
desires. This is how it looks: two opposite desires – male and female – are filled with the same
Light from above. Hence they do not extinguish each other, but gradually develop more and
more.
In other words, spiritual orgasm is constant and increasingly evolving. That is why it gives
man the sensation of eternal life.
Y. Litvar: Fantastic. But you said that we represent a woman and the Creator is a man…
M. Laitman: The receiver and the Giver.
Y. Litvar: Are we like a woman or you meant something else?
M. Laitman: Relative to the One who fills it, the Creator, the soul feels as a filled,
dependent part; hence it is called female. If one man receives fulfillment from another, he also
represents a female part relative to the male part.
Y. Litvar: So we are talking about properties, aren’t we?
M. Laitman: Of course.
Y. Litvar: So being a man, I won’t become a woman in the spiritual worlds? We are
talking about properties.
M. Laitman: We are not talking about bodies. Only two categories that exist in the entire
creation are implied – desire to be fulfilled and the fulfillment itself.
Y. Litvar: So the desire to be fulfilled is the female part…
M. Laitman: Correct …
Y. Litvar: …and the fulfillment, i.e. the Creator, is the male part?
M. Laitman: Yes, and it keeps alternately changing every moment. If at the moment you
are at a certain level relative to a lower level, then you are the male part; relative to higher levels
you are the female part.
Various inconsistencies, problems, unnatural inclinations in our world originate from the
constantly changing correlation between souls in the spiritual world.
I realize that it is a problem to look through our world at the Upper world or vice versa. Of
course, it is totally unreal for beginners to catch such a glimpse, outlook… However, one needs
to gain some understanding of it. A few lessons will provide a person with an idea of what really
happens in our roots, how the forces descend from there and determine everything in our world. I
strongly advise this to everyone.
Y. Litvar: Is this described in your books?
M. Laitman: Basically, they speak only about the revelation of the net of forces that
control us. Everything becomes obvious and clear from there. Man is given a chance to reach up,
become healthier, and enter these more comfortable states.
М. Sanilevich: I guess it is very difficult to abstract one’s mind from the body; constantly
think about the categories of forces and properties, relinquish the flesh…
M. Laitman: Wait a minute! What if I come to the doctor, who starts examining me,
makes a great number of tests and then tells me about all kinds of chemical reactions that occur
inside me, explains what functions well and poorly. He informs me about substances that I
secrete. What am I talking about? Am I talking about the body? I am talking about an instrument,
a system that falls out of balance under the influence of certain forces at the inanimate,
vegetative, and animate levels, at the level of perception, memorizing, etc. Man is a system;
there is nothing we can do about it. We can’t talk about it the way it is discussed in TV serials.
So life compels us to understand ourselves if we wish to achieve a truly comfortable state.
There is no getting away. Otherwise, we’ll escape to drugs and that’s it. This is not a solution.
About the hierarchy of fulfillments
М. Sanilevich: Why is it enough for a man to look at a woman to feel good, whereas a
woman needs to hear and lots of other things…?
Y. Litvar: To look is not enough for me…
M. Laitman: It is enough…
Y. Litvar: I enjoy looking, but…
M. Laitman: “I enjoy looking” means that you already receive pleasure. By looking at a
strange man in the street (if she notices him at all; as a rule she doesn’t) a woman feels no
pleasure. She enjoys something that belongs or may belong to her, because she wants it in
advance (for example, as a thing). She does not look at a man appraising him according to some
standards of male beauty. She does not feel it as a source of pleasure, doesn’t see it.
However, man sees in a woman everything that relates to her animate part. One might say
that in this respect we are more animals than women. Admit it.
Y. Litvar: Moreover, I even like this animal nature of mine.
M. Laitman: Of course you do. But we are not talking about what you like. We are
discussing the hierarchy of fulfillments. It is quite natural that in a man it is more primitive than
in a woman. But again, this is because a modern man (and in general a man of our world)
focuses only on this fulfillment. If he continued developing himself, he would see that basically
he can receive enormous spiritual pleasure out of his union with a woman. He would then surely
look and appraise a woman the way she wishes. “Why don’t you appraise me as a human
being?” I think you heard such words from a woman many times.
This is where the conflict occurs. A man in our world does not regard a woman as a
spiritual partner, whereas a woman wants to see a spiritual partner in a man. Hence, she
appraises him not according to his appearance, but according to his reliability in this inner
fulfillment of hers. A man appraises her as our dear friend Yevgeny.
М. Sanilevich: I have a question regarding appearance. Perhaps it is somewhat personal,
but I think that millions of men would agree with me. I mean those who spend hours in gyms to
improve their looks. By the way, they are sure that women like it.
M. Laitman: This is totally wrong. It just seems to a man; in this case he does not
understand women at all. This way they want to compensate for their inner shortcomings and
problems.
All that we do stems from our inner desire to achieve some fulfillment, a better state. If I
feel it in being not stronger, but wiser, then I seek wisdom. If I feel that a better state is to be
special in something, then that is what I do. That is all. There is a precise calculation that
depends on taste, society, inclination, standards, and so on.
A woman’s appraisal of a man’s appearance is very perfunctory. We speak about her
serious assessment; not about the situation when she wants to go out with a man so that other
women would envy her. This is a totally different solution to the problem: how she will look in
the eyes of others, how much they would envy her, how bad her female friends would feel when
they see her good partner. This is already a totally different matter. We speak about more or less
natural motives – ours and women’s.
In fact, women don’t choose men according to their looks. No. They don’t even choose
according to their physical strength. This kind of appraisal is absent in women. They may use it
only to brag before others. This way, she adopts the assessment of society, not her personal
judgment.
Y. Litvar: Still I don’t think that you are quite right. Today there are many places around
the world where women go to watch handsome men, who demonstrate not only their strength,
but also sexual appeal. Women are very impressed and pay a lot of money for it.
M. Laitman: We have already said that humanity enters the last stage of its material
evolution, which is called the “realization of evil”. This is a realization of the corruption of our
egoism, of our state, and of the result of the breaking of souls. All crises that we go through, all
painful states that manifest in society today, are natural but they appear in their perverted,
morbid form. We have to live through all this and realize that these are unnatural and incorrect
relations. On the contrary, they are the manifestation of sickness, which we need to diagnose
together. The diagnosis is very simple, the soul’s corrupt, incorrect, and broken state. We have to
correct them, and then we will achieve a wonderful, harmonious state, perfection, eternity,
harmony between and within us, and everything will be well. However, before this happens we
have to clearly realize everything that occurs to us. Kabbalah helps to do that.
So sex is good as well as love and everything that we discussed in our previous broadcasts.
However, attainment of the Upper forces and the way they affect us is simply necessary in order
to survive and achieve comfortable life. What happens to us today is just a beginning of the
revelation of a crisis, of our corrupt nature that only started to manifest.
Why is demand for Kabbalah growing every day? This is because it begins to explain to
man what state he has achieved after thousands of years of his evolution. Look what ancient,
vile, base instincts suddenly awake in society. Now they are as values.
Y. Litvar: Our next meeting will be devoted to love, family, marriage, children, maternity,
and so on.
M. Laitman: Oh, these phenomena are less distorted in our lives. They are also distorted,
but to a lesser extent. I am saying this again because this is how it manifests in sex. We have said
that this is man’s deepest, strongest desire; hence it has the most powerful yet briefest
fulfillment. Therefore our entire lives rotate around it. The more intensely this sexual “sickness”
manifests in humanity, the quicker will man realize the need to understand his life.
Because when suddenly – after all these tricks that humanity tries to contrive today while
setting artificial objectives and inventing various ways to receive sexual pleasure – it becomes
disenchanted, it will lose the main source of egoistical fulfillment. Can you imagine what will
happen to us if it is removed from today’s life of a man (to a lesser extent of a woman)? What is
life for? What is left? Soccer, food, drinks?
This disillusionment and emptiness will now manifest more and more. Living will not be
worthwhile. Depression will drive man into a trap that the Creator prepared for us: start thinking
about the level of your existence; you have to attain the Upper world.
Surge will be followed by renunciation
М. Sanilevich: Is possible that we may lose a desire for sex?
M. Laitman: Certainly! All these surges will be followed by renunciation. Look what is
going on with perversions? All natural relations (male, female, family, children, etc.) are
violated. All this will result in an inability to receive fulfillment from sex. This is a terrible thing.
No Viagra, nothing will help.
М. Sanilevich: This is hard to imagine …
M. Laitman: Today’s surge will lead to such a state. This always happens, in any
phenomenon: first its last death surge takes place and then it fades away. Humanity will feel bad,
and then we Kabbalists will be able to come forward and say: “We have a remedy!”
Y. Litvar: So it turns out that the number of people on the Earth will abruptly drop?
M. Laitman: That is what we see.
Y. Litvar: No, now we see insignificant changes…
M. Laitman: We are at the beginning of the process that began some 20 or 30 years ago.
In fact, it has distinctly manifested for 5 or 6 years. 20 years ago no one even mentioned that
humanity is in a state of crisis. The Roman Club used to report about it and that was all.
Scientists did not even hint at it. A few philosophers pointed at it (Fukuyama touched upon this
issue). So what? Today, however, every newspaper has nothing else to write about!
This crisis is developing; Kabbalah predicted it thousands of years ago: the deadlock path
of technological and cultural evolution of humanity and the need for its spiritual development.
So in fact an eternal and perfect orgasm is ahead of you.
Y. Litvar: Thank you!