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Self Image Notes
Self Image
What is self image?
Self image is the mental picture that we have of ourselves. Self image and self
esteem mean the same thing.
Where does our self image come from?
Our self image comes from our family, friends, and our own experiences
(successes, failures, and general experiences in life).
We tend to act like the person we believe ourselves to be. For example, if we see
ourselves as a failure in math, we will probably get grades that confirm this. Likewise, if
we see ourselves as an outgoing person, we are more likely to be outgoing.
A positive self image is important because people who have a positive self image are
less likely to smoke, drink, use drugs, or make other unhealthy choices.
Ways to improve self image
Use positive “self talk” (instead of saying “I’m so stupid” when you get a bad grade, you
say “now I know what I have to work on for next time”).
Learn to laugh at yourself.
Surround yourself with positive people.
Set goals for yourself.
Goals should be….
Realistic – something that is possible for you to accomplish
Manageable – something that you can break down into small steps
Measurable – something that you can tell whether or not you achieved it
Meaningful – something that you really want to do
Reviewed: 9/19/11
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Making Decisions
Some decisions we make (everyday decisions) that require little thought from us (what to
have for breakfast, when to wake up in the morning, etc.)
Other decisions we make require more time and effort. Many of these decisions we make
are influenced by other people.
Understanding those influences will help us to remember to make the best choice for us,
not for someone else.
3 C’s of Effective Decision Making
Clarify – what is the decision you need to make?
Consider – what are my options and the consequences of each?
Choose – what is the best choice for me?
Important note to remember: pressures from the group to which we belong often
influence our decisions.
This is because generally, members want to be accepted by the group and not be
considered outcasts.
Be careful! Giving in to those pressures can mean you make a bad decision (one
you will regret).
Anxiety
Anxiety is feeling nervous, uptight, uneasy, or apprehensive.
Physical effects of being anxious are:
Butterflies in the stomach
Rapid heartbeat
Shaky voice
Muscle tension
Sweaty hands
Dry mouth
Ways to handle anxiety (or other strong emotions):
 Relaxation – picture yourself someplace calming while relaxing your muscles
 Visualization (or mental rehearsal) – picture yourself succeeding in the situation
that is causing you anxiety
 Deep breathing – breathe as deeply as you can, hold it, exhale very slowly to calm
yourself down
Reviewed: 9/19/11
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Communication –
Communication is the act of expressing oneself in a way that one is clearly understood.
Effective communication is when your message is received the way you intended.
Verbal communication – refers to the specific words that we use and our tone of voice.
Nonverbal communication – refers to body language and facial expressions.
Confusion or misunderstandings occur when our verbal and nonverbal are not in
sync (meaning they don’t match).
Skills to avoid misunderstandings:
Send the same message both verbally and nonverbally.
Ask questions to be sure your message is understood.
Be specific.
Paraphrase (restate what was said to you to check for validation).
Using these skills will result in fewer misunderstandings.
Being Assertive
Being assertive means standing up for your rights.
This is very different than aggressive, which is attacking someone or being unnecessarily
violent (verbally or physically).
Being assertive appropriately not only will raise our self esteem, but will also prevent
people from abusing us or treating us badly.
“Ratting” or “tattling” is NOT the same as being assertive. If you need an adult to help
you stand up for your rights, THEN TALK TO AN ADULT AND GET HELP!!!
Reviewed: 9/19/11
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