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Ephesians 5:4 – 13
4Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but
instead let there be thanksgiving. It goes on to say…………….. 6 Let no one deceive you
with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of
disobedience. 7Therefore do not become partners with them; 8for at one time you were
darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light 9(for the fruit of
light is found in all that is good and right and true), 10and try to discern what is pleasing
to the Lord. 11 Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them.
12For it is shameful even to speak of the things that they do in secret. 13But when
anything is exposed by the light, it becomes visible, 14for anything that becomes visible
is light.
James 3
5So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things. How great a forest is
set ablaze by such a small fire! 6And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The
tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire
course of life, and set on fire by hell. 7For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and sea
creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by mankind, 8but no human being can tame
the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. 9With it we bless our Lord and
Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. 10From the
same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so.
11Does a spring pour forth from the same opening both fresh and salt water? 12Can a fig
tree, my brothers, bear olives, or a grapevine produce figs? Neither can a salt pond yield
fresh water.
Proverbs 13:3
He that keeps his mouth keeps his life;
He that opens his lips too wide shall bring on his own destruction
James 1
19 Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak,
slow to anger; 20for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.
21Therefore put away all filthiness and rampant wickedness and receive with meekness
the implanted word, which is able to save your souls.
Colossians 3
8But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk
from your mouth. 9 Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self
with its practices 10and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge
after the image of its creator. 11 Here there is not Greek and Jew, circumcised and
uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave, free; but Christ is all, and in all.
12 Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness,
humility, meekness, and patience, 13 bearing with one another and, if one has a
complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also
must forgive. 14And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in
perfect harmony. 15And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you
were called in one body. And be thankful. 16Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly,
teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and
spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. 17And whatever you do, in word
or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father
through him.
SERMON:
There’s a small, suburban town that’s a suburb of Cleveland, Ohio right on Lake Eerie
that boasts a population of about 50,000 people named Mentor, Ohio.
In this pleasant beachfront community, it was recently voted one of the "100 Best Places
to Live" by CNN and Money magazine this year.
In Mentor there is also a high school, much like McNeil, Round Rock, Vista Ridge,
Westwood, Leander, fill in the blank
In your schools I’m sure you had guys like Eric Mohat. Eric was loud, obnoxious, and
flamboyant. He sang soprano in the choir and liked to goof around in class. As a gag he
began carrying around a stuffed animal to class that got his own seat and the girls in
class, who he was mostly friends with, wrote stories and essays about the stuffed animal
as the gag began to catch on. Eric favorite color shirts were pink as well. Because of his
loud and flamboyant behavior and dress he attracted the attention of his classmates who
began teasing and name-calling which later turned into more malicious talk. Often times
he was (and I quote) called "fag, homo, queer," Bullies once knocked a pile of books
out of his hands on the stairs, saying, "'Pick up your books, faggot”. However, Eric
was raised to be respectful and never let it get to him or retaliate. His peers all wrongly
assumed he was gay, which he was not, and eventually their words took a toll……
Eric Mohat shot himself on March 29, 2007, two weeks before a choir trip to
Hawaii.
Or maybe in your school you know a girl like Meredith Rezak. Meredith was bright,
outgoing and well-liked. Known for being athletic she was a star on the volleyball team
and known by everyone in the school. When she joined the Gay-Straight Alliance at her
school and told friends and family she thought she might be gay, the teasing, namecalling, and gossiping began…..Eric Mohat, who I mentioned just a minute ago was a
dear friend of hers. Following his example, she shot herself in the head 3 weeks after
Eric’s death.
A year after Meredith’s death, the older of her two brothers, 22-year-old Justin, also
shot and killed himself. His death certificate mentioned "chronic depressive
reaction."
This March, her only other sibling, Matthew, died of a drug overdose at age 21 due
to the depression caused by his sister’s death.
The sting of words traveling all the way into the depths of other family members….
Or maybe in your school, you know a girl like Jennifer Eyring, who would take PeptoBismol to calm her stomach and plead with her mother to let her stay home because the
harsh words that were lobbed at her everyday cut so deep.
Jennifer was an accomplished equestrian who had a learning disability. She was
developmentally delayed and had a hearing problem, so she received tutoring during the
school day. Because of her disability and slowness she was teased relentlessly by other
classmates.
By the end of her sophmore year, Jennifer overdosed on anti-depression pills……….
Or maybe you know a girl like Sladjana Vidovic, whose family had moved to Ohio from
Bosnia to escape the war the had ravaged their country in the 1990s. Sladjana was pretty,
vivacious and charming and loved to dance. She would turn on the stereo and drag her
father out of his chair, dance him in circles around the living room.
At school, life was very different. She was ridiculed for her thick accent. Classmates
tossed insults like "Slutty Jana". Classmates would call in the dead of night and
would tell her to go back to Croatia, that she'd be dead in the morning, that they'd
find her after school…..
Her sister found her body when she had tied one end of a rope around her neck and
the other around a bed post before jumping out her bedroom window.
During her funeral, her family watched as the girls who had tormented Sladjana for
months walked up to the casket — and laughed……
(PAUSE AND LET IT GET AKWARD)
TRANSITION:
4 deaths. 1 school. All because of coarse joking and harsh words. And listen, we can sit
here and blame it on the faculty for letting it occur or whatever, but you and I both know
the root of the cause. People’s loose tongues. And I’m willing to bet that last story
churned something deep in your gut……….maybe it called some of you out and you
don’t know whether to run out of this room or cry…..
I’m willing to bet that in each of your schools you’ve heard joking and a lot of times
we’ll say things like: “It’s harmless….they know I’m just joking….we’re friends!”
I’m willing to bet that that a lot of us have minds and tongues that work like
escalators….whatever rises to the top and falls off is what comes tumbling out of our
mouths. And to a lot of people the joke or retort is funny…..we’re edgy….we have
no inner monologue…people appreciate our blunt humor and honesty…..but to
others it’s the scent of death that gently bleeds their soul.
Think about any fight that’s happened at your school….how did it start? I’m willing to
bet in gym class you didn’t get pegged unknowingly in the head , turn around and
immediately run over and just beat the mess out of the guy that did it. How’s the fight
usually start?
Hey Brossseeffff (And you elongate the brosuf because you want them to know that
they’re not really your bro, but someone you want to hit in the jaw with a tire iron)
Did you hit me in the head with that ball?
Yeah I did punk because I hate your face!
I hate your face and your mom ………..because she looks like a wookie….
Your….mom….looks…like a …….pterodactyl
At this point the fight usually starts because both sides have entered into utter stupidity in
the tongue lashing and fists are usually thrown, but again HOW DID THE FIGHT
ULTIMATELY start?
A small member of our body that controls our speech. The tongue…
TRANSITION:
In the New Testament there’s even an entire book that deals predominately with the
nature of our speech that was written by the Apostle James. Listen to what James says
about our tongues:
James 3:
5So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things. How great a forest is
set ablaze by such a small fire! 6And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The
tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire
course of life, and set on fire by hell. 7For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and sea
creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by mankind, 8but no human being can tame
the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. 9With it we bless our Lord and
Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. 10From the
same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so.
11Does a spring pour forth from the same opening both fresh and salt water?
So let me unpack what James is saying by using an Illustration:
Everyone’s seen or knows what a hand grenade looks like right? Okay. So in the US,
Canadian, and British Army they use a standard grenade called the M67 grenade. It’s
small and round and no bigger than the size of your fist. It fits easily within the grasp of
your hand and if you held it tight and pushed it against your leg, no one could really tell
whether you were truly holding something or not. Though small, the M67 is compacted
with explosives and steel outer casing that once exploded sends bits of the metal flying in
every direction. Fragments from the explosion can fly out as far as 2 football fields in
length in each direction. The fuse on a grenade is only 4 to 5 seconds giving you just
enough time to grab cover. There is also a technique called cooking off and is where you
intentionally hold onto an armed grenade after the pin has been pulled and the handle
released; allowing the fuse to burn partially to decrease the time to detonation after
throwing. This technique is used to reduce the ability of the enemy to take cover or
throw the grenade back. It is also used to allow the grenade to burst in the air over
defensive positions.
So what James is saying here is that some of your mouths are like a grenade.
Like the grenade, your tongue is small and compact, but when released the raw
power has the potential to do some severe damage.
Like the grenade, you can blow everyone around you away and the impact is far
reaching.
Like the grenade, your fuse is short, or sometimes you’ll cook off your comments so
that people don’t have time to throw the insult or joke back your way and you’ll lob
the cooked off grenade high to attack their defenses.
And look guys, I’m just as guilty as everyone here in this room. My mouth is a grenade
half the time. I have cut people down with my words more times than I can count. In
those stories I told you earlier about the students teasing and joking roughly with other
students…that used to be me and still IS me at times. I would say and do whatever to
look cool in front of everyone and would hurt people along the way and not give a rip, so
I don’t stand before you as the innocent party up here, if anything I’m more guilty than
any of those students that caused other people to commit suicide. Andy and Chad can
both tell you…..if you could lift up their shirts and see the proverbial knife wounds
from the tongue lashings I gave them whether serious of “just joking”, they’d have
scars everywhere.
TRANSITION:
James tells us that these things “ought not be so”, James also says that blessings and
cursing come forth from the same tongue, but uses and analogy of salt and fresh water
mixing. Eventually, the salt water will overpower the fresh water and make it salty and
useless to drink. When we speak well of others, weigh the weight of our words and love
well that type of talk is refreshing, just like fresh water would be to drink. When we
coarsely joke and tease and gossip and slander it’s like drinking a giant cup of saltwater.
It’s disgusting to the taste and no one around you wants to drink that water either. The
interesting thing about saltwater, much like our speech, is that eventually dehydrates you.
The dehydration will lead to seizures, unconsciousness, and brain damage. Meanwhile,
the overworked blood cells carry the salt to the kidneys, which eventually become
overwhelmed and shut down. Without functioning kidneys you die. That is why we don't
drink seawater. Eventually, your harsh, bitter joking and words will kill you….And I’m
not talking like:
Did you hear about Kevin?
No dude what!?
Called some dude in class he kinda knew and joked around with a toolbag and turd
sandwich and he DIED!
Oh no….
What??? What is it bro??
I called Kevin a turd sandwich this morning too!!!
And then like he keels over and dies….No, that’s not what happens. What DOES
happen is that it your words have the potential to kill your relationships, kill peoples
respect for you, kill your self worth and identity because you’re too busy cutting
other people down to see how they really view you, and it even has the potential to
have others you know kill themselves because you’re making them drink the same
saltwater.
TRANSITION:
Now listen, there’s a time for joking and humor and all of that stuff. It’s present
throughout the bible and it even tells us in Ecclesiastes that there is a “time to laugh”. I
don’t want you thinking that we’re some legalist who is like “If you tease your friends
too much, they could kill themselves!” That’s not what we’re trying to do. I’m not
trying to impact your behavior and say “this is the way you should act because it
makes you a good person” My problem with that type of mentality is that it makes
God some type of Zues of the sky waiting to strike you down with a lighting bolt
when you’re bad. People view him like he’s up there going “Check out
Karen…..totally screwed up today”. Hey Jesus, Holy Spirit…..whatcha thinking?
Send her a little war….maybe some pestilence? Nah, we’ve don’t that already……I
KNOW! ACNE! HIGH FIVE YES! ACNE!” So what happens is we make God
this sky cop and you’ll hear people say stupid things like
“God hates liars…” Uh-oh. Guess who God hates? EVERYONE.
That’s NEVER been the message of Jesus and never will be. His message has always
been one seasoned with pure talk and love. His message has always been I don’t care
what you’ve said or what you’ve done, come to me and I’ll give you eternal life and heal
you. It doesn’t matter that you’ve spit in my face, slandered my name, called me a joke,
a child molestor, a fraud, a lunatic, a liar, NONE OF THAT MATTERS AND I DON”T
CARE, what I care about is you and your life and I want you so desperately to know that
no matter what you do or whether you continue to slap away my hand, not believe in me,
or say cruel things about me I’LL ALWAYS LOVE YOU NO MATTER WHAT. I
don’t need you to be a good person, just come to me and I’ll be the one to change your
heart.
That, my friends, is the heart of Jesus. Not that we get to be good people, that’s bad news
if you’ve ever tried. But that he takes us as is and transforms out hearts and heals
us….not makes us better moral people. That’s the good news.
TRANSITION:
And when we look at Jesus we get to see how he responded even to those that mocked
and spit on him. In Luke 23 during the crucifixion it says this:
“5And the people stood by, watching, but the rulers scoffed at him, saying, "He saved
others; let him save himself, if he is the Christ of God, his Chosen One!" 36The soldiers
also mocked him, coming up and offering him sour wine 37and saying, "If you are the
King of the Jews, save yourself!"
But how does Jesus respond to those that murdered him, slander him, mock him, and let
their tongues pour out every bit of evil. He says: “Father, forgive them for they know
not what they do”
I think on some level every single one of us has a hard time with this…I know I have a
hard enough time asking forgiveness when I have used my tongue to cut someone down,
but Jesus shows us an example so extreme as to how we should use our words it
makes all of us looks like shallow, petty cowards hiding behind an arsenal of loose
words.
So the question you might be asking yourself is “I want to tame my tongue….I want
to stop the hurtful teasing…I want to pour fresh water into people’s souls and not
salt water….I don’t want my mouth to be a grenade…”
(Pause-------)
TRANSITION ILLUSTRATION:
So my friend Brian has a young son named Gage. Gage, like every little boy, loves to
play with toys and GI Joes and has a tendency to destroy his room playing war and leaves
his toys strewn about the room. One day Gage was playing Xbox and my buddy Brian,
went into his room and found toys EVERYWHERE. He promptly went out to the living
room and said “Gage, clean up the toys in your room” to which Gage responded, “I’ll do
it later dad, I’m playing Spongebob!” At this point Brian got stern with him and was like
“PAUSE YOUR GAME AND GET IN THAT ROOM AND CLEAN IT UP NOW!”
So Gage goes into his room, and slams the door. 30 minutes later, he comes out and
resumes playing Xbox. Brian goes and checks his room and realize he had simply been
playing with his toys and hadn’t cleaned anything! This time he’s furious, “GAGE! I
told you to clean your room and all you did was sit in it! Get in there NOW and clean
it!” Gage quietly pauses the video game, and turns arund and yells to his mother in the
kitchen, “MOM! DAD WON’T LET ME PLAY XBOX CAUSE HE SAYS I NEED TO
CLEAN MY ROOM, SO I NEED YOU TO GO CLEAN IT!”
So let’s look at this scenario and take it even a step further. Gage could even invite all
his buddies over to his room and they could sit around in the room and talk about HOW
to clean it, but never do anything about it.
So my point is this, If you want to work on your mouth, you’ve got to make an effort
to clean it up. Some of you will say “I’ll clean it up later”. Some of you will sit and
think about cleaning it and do nothing. Some of you will try and blame it on
someone else and get them to clean it for you. Some of you will talk about it with all
your friends and how you should be working to do a better job at watching your
mouth and it’ll never get any cleaner.
If you want to work on your mouth, YOU’VE gotta be the one to clean it up.
CLOSING:
I have one last thing I want to share with you guys and it’s a passage of scripture I want
you to dwell on this week.
In Ephesians 5:4 – 13 it tells us this:
4Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but
instead let there be thanksgiving. It goes on to say…………….. 6 Let no one deceive you
with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of
disobedience. 7Therefore do not become partners with them; 8for at one time you were
darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light 9(for the fruit of
light is found in all that is good and right and true), 10and try to discern what is pleasing
to the Lord. 11 Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them.
12For it is shameful even to speak of the things that they do in secret. 13But when
anything is exposed by the light, it becomes visible, 14for anything that becomes visible is
light.
Like the scripture said, we need to discern what talk is pleasing to God and what it is that
we’re saying that’s cutting down others. And like the opening verses say, don’t let it be
some crude cut downs that have no benefits.
The biggest thing I want you to see in that verse, is that when darkness is exposed to light
it cannot stand, it becomes visible. Darkness cannot withstand the light. Some of you
have hearts that are in dark spots right now and you desperately want the light shown in.
You want to control your mouth, you want the joking and teasing to stop, you want to be
better to those in your schools and around you but you just don’t know how. Bring that
stuff to light. Come talk with a leader. We’re here for you. Cause once that stuff is
revealed it cannot stand and healing comes. Be courageous. Do something. Like that
illustration I used, don’t just sit in your room and think about cleaning it up. DO
something about it.
Because when we try to act and walk like Jesus we weigh our words….we shower
those around us in grace and speech that reflects what he taught….and we get to
shine that light so that others may see and bring their darkness into the light