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-When I knew I wasn’t alone in it anymore I begin to heal (Will Allen) -The God who effectually called believers by his grace will fortify them with his strength, so that they are able to endure till the end. -Bill’s story -Story in high school and getting picked on -Story of PTSD and how still plagues -God heals Psalms 6:6-7 6 I am worn out from sobbing. All night I flood my bed with weeping, drenching it with my tears. 7 My vision is blurred by grief; my eyes are worn out because of all my enemies. 1 Peter 5:10 In his kindness God called you to share in his eternal glory by means of Christ Jesus. So after you have suffered a little while, he will restore, support, and strengthen you, and he will place you on a firm foundation. Romans 8:16-18 The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children. 17Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory. 18I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. -Why am I going through this? Why me? Where is God? -Why did God let that suffering happen? (Use example of plane crashing into building in Austin) -Doubting Thomas????? SERMON: Okay. So I have a confession to make. I haven’t always been this size or this big. Most people think I came punching out of the womb like the Incredible Hulk or something. WAHHHHHHH!!! YES!!! SLEDGE HERE!!!!! Which has always confused me…..It’s like once you get compared to the Hulk, you lose all credibility for intellect and revert to the language skills of 3 year old. But believe me when I tell you this……when I was younger, I was goofy, had long hair down to my shoulders, and was really skinny. Some of you are like “Yeah right, you’ve been mainlining protein shakes and NO Xplode since you were 2 and bench pressing your tricycle on he playground in front of the other kids”. To prove you wrong, I HAVE EVIDENCE. (SHOW PICTURES) Now the reason I show you this and tell you these things is because I got picked on and picked on a lot. And maaayyyyyyyybbbbeeeeeeee I’ve since overcorrected in terms on not getting picked on, but who can say? During my time in high school I dealt with huge amounts of emotional pain and I think some of you can really relate to this…….Maybe you’re the one who’s been picked on, somebody has said horrible things about you or spread malicious rumors, you’ve been labeled and you’d give ANYTHING to just get out of that label…..be one of the so-called cool crowd……have people like you…………but in the back of your mind you know you never want to be in that type of cool crowd, cause they’re the ones making fun of you…..they’re the ones that nicknamed you “Fatty, or loser, or whatever” And it hurts, it hurts deep and you wonder how you can ever move past that pain. See yourself in a different light…..let go of what they did to you and how you feel….. TRANSITION: During high school I was well known mainly due to my mother being queen of the PTA. Teachers and all students knew her. I resented it because SHE KNEW EVERYTHING. I could have accidentally farted in class and by the time I got home my mom would be like “Oh broccoli farts in Ms. Baker’s class….real mature Benjamin…………you’re grounded” “No, I ate burrito….it was an accident….wait…..WHO DID YOU TELL ABOUT THIS!? HOW DO YOU KNOW THIS STUFF!?” But during high school, I hated it. With a passion. I ended up hanging around the skaters and potheads and even they didn’t accept me. I got kicked out of the pothead group. Nobody gets kicked out of that group!!! They’re too lazy to do anything and yet one day they had the energy to tell I had to leave. I got picked on by a couple of gang members in my neighborhood, one who happened to be my neighbor, and beat me up one day for no reason. I ended up getting stitches and crying in front of a bunch of people from my classes. The next day, my entire high school knew I got beat up and I got made fun of for being a wuss. Don’t get me wrong, today I’d could own that guy using a stuffed buffalo and a cat toy while he wielded an uzi, but that’s not the point. So what did I do? I did what any of you guys would do “I’ll show them!” And I let my hurt and suffering fuel my hatred. I got into martial arts, by my senior year I had progressed and won titles. People begin to fear me….awwww yes RESPECT. But it wasn’t enough, I had to outdo everyone as the baddest guy they’d ever seen. I wanted to be so bad that when they had children they’d tell their kids stories of “The Sledge” like I was the boogeyman and hiding in their closet to devour their Barbie dreamhouse so that when they woke up in the morning there’s decapitated Ken dolls everywhere and a note that said “Dad shoulda been nice to me!” So I enlisted in Army Special Operations and left a week prior to graduation. The thing is….NONE of this stuff ever fixed the pain that I felt. The humiliation. The hurt. And most of us would think becoming popular, or strong, or a star athlete could correct that, but you’d be wrong……. TRANSITION: In the book of Lamentations, which is just a lovely name for a book is it not? It just screams, let’s read through a book about suffering the whole time. Anyway, the prophet Jeremiah is in a similar situation that maybe some of you in this room feel like you’re in. Jeremiah had been mocked by his own people when he stood up for truth, had been forced to fight and seen the horrors of war, and his mind is plagued by all the emotional turmoil and so he says this profound little thing in Lamentations 3:19 – 24 The thought of my suffering and homelessness is bitter beyond words.[a] 20 I will never forget this awful time, as I grieve over my loss. NOW LISTEN TO THIS. He’s in the midst of his greatest pain, but goes on to say something profound……. 21 Yet I still dare to hope when I remember this: 22 The faithful love of the LORD never ends![b] His mercies never cease. 23 Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning. 24 I say to myself, “The LORD is my inheritance; therefore, I will hope in him!” He doesn’t become the star athlete, the guy who’s got it all together….the pain is there, but his hope is in something more. Something nourishing to his soul that brings him peace and healing. His hope is in the promises of the God and his soul is refreshed by God. TRANSITION: God can’t fix this……you don’t know me, you don’t know what’s happened to me. You don’t know how my dad beats me, how I have to cut myself in order to be in control, how I have to have an eating disorder to make myself feel pretty, to always excel so my parents will love me. Yes. I don’t know your story. But I know others like it. Including my own. And God does want to be there he does want to help, but it’s not gonna happen in the way you think……let me explain: *TIMOTHY’s DAD BEATS HIM AS A CHILD. CALLS HIM TIMMY. HE HATES IT TO THIS DAY. DAD IS NAM VET BUT THE DAYS WHEN HE WALKS WITH GOD HE FORGETS ABOUT HIS TROUBLES AND REMEMBERS THE GOODNESS IN HIS OWN LIFE* TRANSITION: -Most of you know that I served in the military and overseas. While in Afghanistan I saw numerous horrible things nobody should see. There are stories so dark, they stay locked up between me, God, and the people who were there. When I came home from Afghanistan is when I noticed a problem. Everything was different. My life was no longer as it was and I was trying to find the pieces of my so-called perfect life that had been shattered by the horrors of war. I begin to have panic attacks in large crowds. I was paranoid. I was angry and violent all the time. I would blow up for no reason. I was always on the defense and worst of all I was depressed almost every day. I couldn’t sleep because when I slept the dreams came and I’d wake up screaming or sleepwalking. I couldn’t cope with reality anymore and would look for reasons to feel pain or anything that made me feel like I wasn’t a zombie. Everyone knew I had a problem, but they didn’t understand what I went through. How could I possibly explain it and expect them to understand. Many were too afraid to say anything out of fear. I was mad at God. Made that he would let this happen to me. I asked the questions many of you have probably asked in your pain: Why am I going through this? Why me? Where are you God? Do you even exist!? Do you even care!? TRANSITION: Now I tell you this next part because I’ve always been honest with you and always will be. It’s a horrible story I’m ashamed of, but is needed to drive the point home…… Everything came to a head one evening when I got in a dispute with my girlfriend at the time and had been drinking and entered a flash back mode. After she locked me out of the house, I kicked down the door and started screaming and then threatening her roommates. I eventually stormed off after throwing a few things while her roommates were about to get on the phone with the police. Luckily they called my parents and my roommate, who promptly drove over and found me walking and proceeded to deck me in the face and drag me home, where I wept bitterly and alone in my room until my tears wooed me to sleep. The next morning my parents had driven down and they and my girlfriend confronted me and checked me into my university counseling and psychology department. I was diagnosed with severe post traumatic Stress Disorder and spent the next year in counseling and on anti-depressant medication. I recently asked one of the students here what helped him overcome his emotional pain. He answered this: “When I knew I wasn’t alone in it anymore I begin to heal” And he’s right. When I realized I didn’t have to go through this alone, and could open up to people and share my pain, I begin to heal. Through the counseling and love of friends, I began to heal. I think the problem is that some of you in this room are plagued with “FINEit is”. I’M FINE. I’M FINE. No really…….I’m FINE! When the truth is you can barely breath and you feel dead on the inside. Let me be the first to tell you that whatever you’re going through, YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE ALONE. The leaders and adults in this room, and even your friends and students in the room are here to support you, love you, talk with you, and wrestle this junk out. The last thing I want to see is you dying in a pile. TRANSITION: To some of you, you’re thinking, well that’s good and all and I appreciate you’re there, but this doesn’t answer the question if God is good then why’d he let me go through this? Why should I trust Jesus to heal me if this stuff is going to happen in the first place? There’s this story in scripture that’s well known, where Jesus tells a parable about 2 types of houses: PARAPHRASE HOUSE OF SAND AND ROCK Now everyone has always looked at that story and said put your faith on thr firm foundation, Jesus, and you’ll survive and not get swept out to sea. BUT WHAT STANDS OUT TO ME IS THAT THE STORM HIT BOTH HOUSES! IT DIDN”T SKIP OVER THE ONE ON THE ROCK! Oh……..Oh no………what do we do with that verse now? The storm got both of them…… Now let’s look a Job, who was in the sight of God was said to be “blameless and upright; he feared God and shunned evil.” What happens? One day a messenger comes running up and says his field has been attacked and all his cattle and servants have been slaughtered. And then this is where Job’s day moves from bad new to WHAT ON EARTH IS GOING ON! Then fire falls from the heaven, yeah fire…..from the freakin sky……..kills all his servants. Finally a mighty wind blows where his 11 children are feasting and the roof collapses and kills them all…… You ever had one of those days like Job? Like maybe you go camping and it rains and leaks in your tent, and then you wake up to find a bear ate all your supplies and ripped up your back-back?. AND JUST FOR GOOD MEASURE, like a clown comes out of the forest, nevermind what the heck he’s doing in a forest, and decks you in the face and then gets you with his stupid clown flower, water pistol in the face and you’re like “OF COURSE! OF COURSE THIS WOULD HAPPEN!” So the question I gotta ask is, what did Job do wrong? Scripture tells us…..Nothing…… So why did God let this suffering happen? Why? I think so of you have this distorted view of God like if you’re good, then he’s there to reward you. Or if the rest of the world is going great, why does all this bad stuff have to happen. Take for instance the guy who got pissed at the IRS and crashed his plane into the side of the building here in Austin. I heard so many people say “Well where was God on that one!?” Well what about all the times he’s kept other planes in the air, or kept terrorists off planes, or kept planes from crashing or mechanical failure so that when it lands, the pilot or mechanic says “I don’t know how you stayed in the air….it was a miracle”. YOU’RE GOING TO BLAME GOD FOR ONE TIME OUT OF THE 60 OTHER SAVES!? JUST HARP ON THE NEGATIVE AND SAY HE ISN’T GOOD? ARE YOU DELUSIONAL? YOU DON’T GET TO PLAY PICK AND CHOOSE WITH THE CREATOR OF THE UNIVERSE… And let me show you an example that just proves this…. None of you have ever stood at the Grand Canyon in amazement and then looked at your buddy and said “Remember that time I benched 250? That was pretty rad, huh!?” None of you have ever stood in front of the oceans and seen wave after wave crash, or gone to Yellowstone Park, or stared at the stars on a bright night in awe and then said to yourself “I wonder if this dress I’m wearing makes me look fat?” The universe constantly reminds you how small you are. And that’s cause God created it that way. If God gave you everything you everything you’ve ever desired would you love him or take him for granted? Would you rely on him or see him more of the Santa Clause of the Sky? Would he be worthy of your worship and adoration, or would you be more apt to act like an infant and yell “MINE!” So you’re saying I’m going to hurt at times and experience pain? That’s exactly what I’m saying, but scripture tells us this: 1 Peter 5:10 In his kindness God called you to share in his eternal glory by means of Christ Jesus. So after you have suffered a little while, he will restore, support, and strengthen you, and he will place you on a firm foundation. Romans 8:16-18 The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children. 17Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory. 18I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. Are you seeing a theme yet? But like I said earlier……where’s your foundation? When the storm comes are you on solid ground? Or are you on sand letting every storm that comes by sweep you out to sea only to be miserable. FINALE: Listen. I know in a room this size, there’s a lot of pain and hurts that you all have gone through, some of which I’ll never experience and could really never understand, just like some of my experiences. But we are here to walk through it with you….to carry you when you can’t bear it anymore, to talk with you through it, and Jesus is there to be that firm foundation on whom you can rely, so when the storms do come, you have something to hold onto. I’m going to close with this. I still suffer from PTSD. I have my nights where I wake up yelling. 4th of July is forever ruined for me. I can get angry at the drop of the dime…..but God’s healing me and I have something to hold onto and put my faith in when I can’t bear it anymore….. It is a thorn in my flesh…..And I count myself LUCKY enough to have something I have to suffer through so I can continue to rely on his strength….and NOT my own…… Are you willing to do that? And let him help you through the pain? I know this The God who effectually called believers by his grace will fortify them with his strength, so that they are able to endure till the end.